


Fallen for Humanity

by blackimpala



Series: Black Feather [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blowjobs, Bottom!Cas, Bunker Fic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Human Castiel, Love Confessions, M/M, Men of Letters Bunker, Post-Season/Series 10 Finale, Romance, Smut, Top!Cas, bottom!Dean, not kinky, there's some plot, top!dean, vanilla sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-22
Updated: 2016-02-29
Packaged: 2018-04-10 16:52:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 147,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4399772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This happens after season 10. After a long fight, the Darkness has been locked and defeated. The gates of Hell have been closed with it too. Rowena is dead. Charlie has come back to life. And the gates of Heaven have been partially closed, making Castiel fall and become human in a painful process.</p><p>Now Castiel lives in the bunker with Sam and Dean and Dean can’t suppress his feelings for Cas anymore, and neither the ex-angel can. Things are quiet in the supernatural world, there are some occasional hunts, but it is quiet, and in that quietness, Dean and Castiel are going to try and have what they didn’t have the chance to before; a relationship.</p><p>This is about Dean and Castiel getting together and how their lives go once they manage to do so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I intended on starting this on Monday, but I couldn't, so here you have a new Destiel fic that I hope you will enjoy.
> 
> As always I want to apologize for any grammar mistake that you might see, because my mother tongue isn't English.

Suddenly, they are in the bunker’s bathroom. Dean doesn’t know how he could drive back to the bunker in that short period of time. He doesn’t even remember the drive back. He only remembers driving faster than in his whole life, never stopping to look at Cas on the rearview mirror, seeing him lying on the backseat, with his back bleeding and unconscious. He remembers Sam yelling something, but Dean isn’t sure what his little brother was yelling. The only thing Dean cared about in that moment was to bring Cas back to the bunker and heal him.

Dean remembers parking his Impala in the bunker’s garage, opening the backseat’s door and grabbing Cas, carrying him towards the bathroom in his arms and walking as fast as Dean could, without caring about Cas’ weight or about the blood that was staining him; nothing of that mattered at all. What truly mattered was that Dean needed to heal his best friend as soon as possible.

The water is dyed in red, Cas’ blood. His back is still bleeding and Dean doesn’t know if it will stop. He feels his eyes watering because he can’t see Cas like this, he can’t think about Cas dying. No, he can’t die right now, not after everything. They managed to defeat Darkness a month ago, and with that, the gates of Hell were finally completely closed. Now the gates of Heaven have been closed too, and with that, Castiel’s back started to bleed as he started to scream in pain. It scared the shit out of Dean to hear Cas in such pain and being unable to do anything.

It just happened suddenly; they just finished a hunt and Castiel passed out and he started to yell in pain. When Sam and Dean reached him and touched his back, their hands were soaked with his blood, and so was Castiel’s trench coat.

And now, they are in the bathroom. Cas is still unconscious and bleeding, inside the bath, where the clear water has turned into red. And Dean cleans the never stopping bleeding wounds on Castiel’s back.

Dean’s hands keep trembling. This is too much blood and Cas looks paler the more minutes that pass. He is freaking terrified of losing Cas. Dean knew that angels were going to close the gates of Heaven for a period of time, to rest after the hard and bloody battle against the Darkness. Cas told him about the angels’ plan, but he didn’t know how that action was going to affect Cas, and he wasn’t expecting it to affect him like this. He was scared of Cas leaving him behind, ending up trapped in Heaven, because Dean has never wanted Cas to leave him, and much less to leave forever and stay with those douchebags. But he wasn’t expecting to have Cas in the bath, bleeding like this, dying the water with that scary shade of red. He would rather lose Cas to Heaven and know that he is alive, than let Cas die like this.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Dean mutters in between broken sobs. He throws what it is like the tenth gauze soaked with Castiel’s blood, not caring where it ends or if it is going to stain the damn floor. The wound is still bleeding and it doesn’t matter what Dean does, it keeps bleeding. He needs to sew it, but every time he tries it, the wound opens up again, spilling more blood.

“Here,” Sam says offering him another gauze. Dean looks at him. He doesn’t know when Sam showed up in the bathroom. Dean nods and picks up the gauze, cleaning that terrible wound. “Do you need anything else?” His voice is heartbreaking and shaking. Dean makes a grimace. He can’t even talk; there’s a limp in his throat and his tongue feels too heavy and useless. He looks at the wound, wishing that it could simply stop for once. Cas is losing too much blood, and that isn’t good. “Dean?”

“Just—” Dean starts to say. He sounds desperate and he is it. His eyes go to that angel face of Cas, looking paler and sadder with every second that passes. “Bandages.” He manages to say in a breathy and heartbreaking voice.

Sam leaves the bathroom, or it sounds like it. Dean doesn’t look; his eyes are only focused on Cas and on that fucking wound. He keeps cleaning it, blood soaking the gauze again. And Dean wants to cry. A few tears fall down from his tired and swollen eyes, leaving a trace on his not so young face. He is too tired and he feels so useless. He wants Cas to be alright, to be okay, but this looks further than okay than anything.

“Cas—” Dean starts to say. It sounds like a prayer, like begging. If he has to beg in order to get Cas well, he will do it. He will give his life for Cas. Anything. “Please, Cas—”

“Dean—” Castiel whispers extremely low, but Dean can hear it perfectly. He moves his eyes from the bleeding back to Castiel’s face. His eyebrows are making a frown and his eyes are half closed, but those baby blues meet Dean’s eyes, showing the pain Castiel feels. It breaks Dean’s heart into million pieces. “Dean—” he repeats, this time a little bit louder, but not too much.

“Hey, hey,” he says with a sad smile of relief. One of his hands goes to cup Castiel’s face, feeling the coldness of his face. “I’m here, Cas. I’m here.”

“My wings, Dean.” A tear falls from Castiel’s eye, ending on Dean’s fingers. The feeling is cold, really cold. “They are gone.” He cries out. “It hurts.”

Dean’s thumb caresses Castiel’s cheek. “I know.” His voice breaks with that. He can’t imagine how painful it must be for Castiel to lose his wings. It must feel as if they were ripped apart. “I’m gonna take care of you, Cas. And you are gonna get better, okay?” He needs Cas to get better. Castiel opens his eyes as much as he can, showing his glassy eyes, filled with pain. He gives Dean a weak smile. “Don’t you dare to die on me, not after everything we’ve been through.” Words come out desperate and easily, sounding really heartbreaking. He needs Cas to know that he has to fight. Cas can get through this, he can. He always makes it back to Dean. He can do it one more time, right?

Castiel simply nods and closes his eyes. Dean looks at him, praying in his mind for Castiel to get better, hoping that he will keep on fighting. He has fallen, his grace is turning into a human soul, turning him into a human being, burning and ripping out his wings, but Dean still doesn’t know how. But right now it isn’t important; answers will come later, what it is now more important than anything it is to heal Castiel.

He starts to sew the wound, as careful as possible, although his trembling hands don’t help, but he tries to keep his pulse as firm as possible. Sam appears again, with bandages and more thread, helping Dean to clean the wound as Dean sews. It takes its time to sew the wound; it goes from the upper side of Castiel’s blades to the small of his back. Two long wounds where his wings used to be, corrupting the angelic picture of Castiel, showing his pain in a grotesque way.

Once Cas is sewed, Dean gets him out of the bath and dries him. Cas is unconscious again and Dean hates it. And he hates seeing how terrible his back looks. It is going to hurt him forever, Dean knows it. The fallen angel finally managed to have his grace back, to get rid of all that pain, and then, one year later, he falls again, becoming human, pain overtaking him, losing everything. Dean can’t stand it.

Dean puts bandages on Castiel, covering his back and his chest, leaving them tight enough, but not too tight so it can’t hurt him. Cas looks so defeated, so weak, so lifeless that it breaks Dean’s heart; he feels so helpless. He would give everything just to avoid Cas being like this, feeling this pain.

With Sam’s help, they carry Cas to his bedroom, the one next to Dean’s, and they get him in bed, lying him aside, in order to not leave all Castiel’s weight resting on his injured back, because it would hurt him a lot, even if he is unconscious and right now he might not be feeling a thing, but still, they do it like that.

Dean looks at Castiel, who has a painful, sad face. At least now he isn’t as pale as before, but he still is it. Dean lets out a breathy gasp and he walks towards the bed to cover Cas; he can’t get cold. His fingers move away a lock of dark hair from his forehead, as sweet and as gentle as possible. It doesn’t take Dean too long to start crying again, this time with uncontrollable sobs. He wants to stop, but he can’t. He feels Sam’s arm embracing his shoulders and pulling him closer, to give him comfort, and although Dean appreciates his little brother’s gesture, right now, the only thing that can comfort him is Cas waking up and without those terrible wounds on his back.

He doesn’t know how he ends up in his bedroom or how he manages to sleep for a couple of hours. He guesses that he must be really tired, not only physically, but also mentally. But that couple of hours are more than enough, and when Dean wakes up, the first thing he does is to go to Castiel’s bedroom. Dean watches Castiel from the door; nothing has changed from when he got to bed; Cas is still unconscious and with that painful and sad face. The bandages are still covering his back and his chest, showing the humanity of Cas. Again, Dean feels how his heart breaks into million pieces.

And it goes like that for three days. Castiel doesn’t wake up. He is alive, Dean looks for his pulse all the time, making sure that his best friend isn’t gone, but Castiel is still unconscious and he hasn’t moved or said anything since he was gotten into that bed. He hasn’t even opened his eyes yet for a single time, and it is killing Dean.

Dean spends whole days in Cas’ bedroom, sitting on a chair, next to his bed, with one of Castiel’s hands in between his, holding it. He only leaves that bedroom to go to the bathroom. He doesn’t even sleep in his own bedroom, he falls asleep in that chair, not caring about how his whole body hurts and misses a proper bed. He is hoping that Cas will wake him up to let him know that he is awake and getting better, but that never happens. And Dean is starting to fear that it will never happen. Waiting is the worst. What if Cas never wakes up again? No. Dean can’t think about that. He would rather tear his own skin apart than get used to the idea of Cas dying.

Their hands are laced together, Dean holding Castiel’s tightly, with his lips pressed on Castiel’s knuckles. Dean has his eyes closed, like Castiel. He can’t look at Cas in this condition; it hurts too much. Holding his hand makes the ache of Dean’s heart to fade away a little, but Cas’ hand is still cold and still.

“Still nothing?” Sam asks. Dean opens his eyes and he sees that Sam is standing next to him. He checks Cas dozens of times during the day, hoping that the time he arrives, Cas might have woken up, but of course, it never happens.

“No.” Dean shakes his head and looks at Cas again. “He should have woken up a while ago.” With his other hand, Dean caresses Castiel’s cheek. He doesn’t care that Sam sees how intimate he is being with Cas, he knows that Sam knows about his feelings for Cas, even if Dean has never told Sam about it, but he knows that Sam suspects, if he doesn’t already know for sure about Dean’s feelings for Cas.

But Cas doesn’t deserve someone like Dean. And it is never the right place or the right moment for the two of them. Dean isn’t sure if it will ever be. He isn’t good enough for Cas. He even beat the shit out of him when he had the Mark; he hurt him and Dean hasn’t forgiven himself for that even if Cas told him that he forgave him. But now Cas is like this, and Dean just wants to hold him, wishing that with those touches, it will encourage Cas to get better and to wake up, hoping that the hands that broke that angelic face a year ago can now heal him. He is being stupid, but he wants to believe.

“Dean, he has fallen, his wings have been ripped out of him,” Sam starts to say with a touched voice. He isn’t dealing too well to see Cas like this either. For all Dean knows, Sam has spent some nights awake, doing research about fallen angels with any single file he has found in the bunker, but the men of letters never knew what happened after the angel fell. There was too much pain, but they didn’t know how long it took them to wake up again. “It is something really painful. It is going to take him quite long to get well. As far as I’ve read, the process of his grace becoming a human soul is painful and exhausting.”

“I know but—” He takes a deep breath and presses Castiel’s knuckles on his forehead. “He has to wake up.”

“He will.” With that, Dean looks at his brother, who has an honest tiny smile drawn on his lips. “He will make it.” And he places his hand on Dean’s shoulder to give him a comforting squeeze. “He always does, doesn’t he?”

Dean wants to believe that. Cas has always been a tough guy, he has gotten out from worse shit, but it is hard to believe Sam’s words when Cas is so lifeless in that bed. He tightens his grip on Castiel’s hand and looks at the fallen angel, searching for a hint, a change on his face that could indicate that he is going to wake up, but there’s nothing.

Sam leaves the bedroom, leaving Dean and Castiel there. Dean keeps looking at Castiel, until his eyelids feel so heavy that he has to close them, falling asleep, never letting Castiel’s hand to go from his.

When Dean opens his eyes is past midnight, by the time the clock on the bedside table marks. Dean now only sleeps when his eyelids can’t stay opened anymore. He doesn’t care; he will care about getting his sleeping habits back when Castiel wakes up, which is something that it is going to take its time.

He takes a deep breath and looks at Cas before he closes his eyes again and presses his lips on Castiel’s knuckles. Dean could say a lot of things right now, to confess a lot of things he has locked in his heart, but his voice doesn’t work. It must be because if he ever decides to say all those things, he wants Cas to be awake, not like this. Dean has never been good with words, but it he ever manages to say out loud everything he has had locked in his heart for a long time, he wants Cas to hear them.

“Dean?”

Dean opens his eyes in shock, looking immediately at Castiel, whose eyes are opened. “Cas,” Dean simply says, not fully believing what he is seeing. His other hand goes directly to cup Castiel’s face, feeling that it is warmer than those previous days, making sure that Cas is awake and alive. He lets out a relieved breath that he had been holding for too long. “You are awake.” He smiles in relief.

“I am awake,” Castiel says, voice weak but soft, a tender smile appearing on his pretty pink lips. His hand holds tighter Dean’s, making Dean’s heart skip a beat as those fingers tangle with his.

“How are you feeling?” he asks with a trembling voice that he can’t control. Dean is more than glad that Cas is finally awake, but he knows that despite of that, Cas is still in pain.

“Painfully human.” Castiel takes a deep breath and looks away from Dean’s eyes, as if he was ashamed. “It still hurts.” His voice is pull of painful emotion.

“I know, Cas, I know.” His thumb moves soothingly on Castiel’s cheek, making the ex-angel make a sweet but painful smile. “Everything is gonna be okay.”

Castiel’s glassy eyes meet Dean’s. Castiel doesn’t fully believe that everything is going to be okay, Dean can see it in those eyes. Castiel has become human so many times, but somehow, he managed to become an angel again. But this time, they know that isn’t going to happen. The gates of Heaven have been closed and Castiel’s wings have been ripped out; there’s no possible way to become an angel again.

The face Castiel makes is full of pain, sadness and devastation. He closes his eyes, letting a few tears out. He suppresses a sob, but he does a bad attempt at that. “Hey,” Dean starts to say, hoping that he doesn’t sound as hurt as he feels, he needs to show Cas that everything is okay and that they will make it over this. “It’s gonna be okay, Cas. Me and Sammy will take care of you, you are gonna live here with us in the bunker and things will get better, I promise.”

But Castiel doesn’t open his eyes, instead, he presses his eyelids harder, which Dean suspects it must be because he doesn’t want to let out more tears. Dean sighs and squeezes Castiel’s hand, hoping that it will calm him.

“You’ve been human before, remember? You did a great job when I kicked you out because of Gadreel.” Dean still feels pain when he remembers that. The face that Castiel made when Dean told him that he couldn’t stay; it broke both of their hearts. Dean has always wanted Cas to be in the bunker with him, and when he finally got that, it only lasted five minutes. It breaks his heart to think about all the times he has hurt Castiel. “You will do great, Cas,” Dean keeps whispering. “Everything’s gonna be fine.”

Finally Castiel opens his eyes, and Dean hates what he sees because everything in them is pain. “How can you be so sure?” The question comes out in a heartbreaking and breathy voice.

“Because I know you. And because we will make it work. Like always.”

They don’t say anything else. They fall into a soft silence. Dean’s and Castiel’s eyes let out some tears and they hold their intertwined hands tighter. No one of them mentions how their fingers are tangled together or how Dean’s hand is still cupping Castiel’s face or how their eyes are locked together. They never address any of that. Cas is awake and that’s all that matters.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to update every Monday :)

_Four months later_

 

“You should have been more careful,” Dean mutters annoyed as he sews the wound caused by a knife on the back of Castiel’s shoulder.

They have just arrived from a hunt and he and Castiel were the ones that got injured. It was a pagan god that liked to torture and kill his victims with a knife before eating them. It got Dean and Castiel, leaving Sam in another room, and the pagan god tried to stab Dean, but Castiel got into the way and he got stabbed on the back side of his shoulder. Sam then appeared and killed the god with a burnt branch of elm. After that, they drove back to the bunker, since they were just a couple of minutes away from there. They could have stayed at the motel, but it was better to come back home.

“I was protecting you,” Castiel snaps. He grunts at the feeling of Dean sewing his flesh. “If I didn’t get into his way, you would have died.”

“You could have died too!” He starts to raise his voice more than he would usually like to, but when Cas behaves in such a reckless way and he is painfully stubborn, it really gets on his nerves.

“But I didn’t!”

“But you could have!” Again, his voice raises more. He hears Castiel grunting because he doesn’t like it when Dean is being protective with him. But Cas should have stayed out of the way instead of getting stabbed. A few inches upper, and the knife would have gotten into his neck. The idea scares and angers Dean. “You don’t fucking get it, don’t you, Cas?!”

“Get what?!” he snaps as furious as he can, turning his face to look at Dean, dedicating him a deadly glare.

“That I can’t lose you!” He lets out frustrated and full of rage. Once the words are out, he clenches his jaw and looks at Castiel in a vulnerable way, feeling the heat rising on his cheeks. Castiel’s eyes soften and his lips part slightly, his cheeks flushing a little bit as well. “I almost fucking lost you when you fell,” he says, this time, Dean’s voice is back to a normal volume, sounding more like a whisper. “I can’t go through that again, Cas. I can’t lose you.” The words are said easily, without any trouble at all, and Dean feels how he starts to blush even more, moving his eyes away from Castiel’s once he has talked, going back to sewing the wound the pagan god left on Cas.

“Dean—”

“Just—” Dean interrupts. Then, he takes a deep breath. “You are human, Cas, and—” He takes another deep breath as he finishes the last stich, cutting the remaining thread. “This time, if you die, you die. There’s no resurrection or any of that and— I can’t.” He rests his forehead on Castiel’s nape, feeling how that unexpected touch startles Cas a little, but then he relaxes. Dean knows he shouldn’t do this, they are just friends, but he wants Cas to understand that he is important to him and that he can’t lose him. He needs to feel that he is there, that even if what Cas did was reckless, his friend is there and alive. “I have lost you countless of times, and—” He clenches his jaw, taking a deep breath, feeling a limp in his throat, as if it was made of all the words he wants to say but he isn’t able to let out. “I can’t lose you, Cas,” he whispers again, closing his eyes and pressing his forehead a little bit more on Castiel’s nape.

“I can’t lose you either,” Castiel whispers after a tiny silence, making Dean move away his forehead from Castiel’s heated skin. “That’s why I got into his way.” He sighs and stands up, going towards the sink, where his t-shirt is and Dean follows him with his eyes, watching the motions of his muscles under all that skin. “I didn’t want him to kill you.”

Dean watches his tattooed back, there’s an anti-possession tattoo in between his blades and inked wings going from both sides of his spine until the upper side of his elbows. He got those tattoos after the scars of his wings faded away. And Dean has loved the wings tattoo since Castiel got it. A reminder of what he used to be and what it is right now. Although the gates of Hell are closed, Dean and Sam suggested Cas to get that anti-possession tattoo, just in case, because they don’t know for how long those gates would remain closed. Cas agreed, but he also said he wanted another tattoo; black wings, like he used to have. 

“And I didn’t want to feel useless,” Castiel adds as he puts on his t-shirt, hiding his beautiful back with it.

“You are not useless, Cas.”

They have talked about this a lot of times. Maybe Castiel can’t zap them anymore and he can’t heal them with a simple touch of his fingers, and what? He is a great fighter and his knowledge about supernatural beings is impressive. And he uses a blade like no one else. He had to learn how to aim and shot a gun, but he got it immediately. He has been in several hunts since he started to feel better after he fell, and he has only got pretty bad injured a couple of times, but that’s something normal. Sam and Dean get injured quite bad too sometimes, but here they are, the three of them alive.

“Yeah, sure,” Cas sasses devastated. He turns around to face Dean, but he doesn’t meet his eyes.

Dean stands up from the border of the bath and he walks towards Castiel, not caring about their personal space. “Cas, listen to me,” he starts to say, all confident. Still, Castiel doesn’t meet his eyes. “Look at me, please.” Castiel takes a deep breath and looks at Dean, finally. Dean places his hands on Castiel’s shoulders, holding them. “You are not useless. Angel or not, you aren’t useless. The awesome thing about you is that you always keep fighting with whatever you have, and you always kick ass.” He smiles at that and Castiel chuckles shyly. “And yeah, maybe if you could still heal with just a touch of your fingers would be awesome because we would save money on bandages, antiseptic and all that crap, but at the end, who gives a fuck about that? You are here, alive, kicking ass to monsters and being part of the family. And even if you were in a fucking wheelchair, me and Sam would still need you.”

“Dean—” His cheeks have acquired that cute, reddish shade of blush that Dean has started to adore and find adorably cute for the past months.

“What matters is that you are here, Cas. I need you, I’ll always need you. Angel or human, or whatever the hell you want to be.” At that Castiel rolls his eyes and chuckles and Dean smiles.

“Thank you, Dean.” The smile Castiel makes is all genuine, shy and happy and Dean won’t admit it out loud, but every time Castiel smiles, especially if Dean is the reason behind it, it melts his heart.

“And you aren’t useless. Don’t you ever think about that again, okay?”

“Okay.” Again, he makes a shy smile. Then, he grabs Dean’s right hand, looking at his bleeding knuckles. The touch makes Dean’s heart skip a beat. It always does that when Cas touches him, it feels like something warm started in his chest and wanted to spread over all his body. They are simply and meaningless touches, but still, they do wild things to Dean. “Let me heal you.”

“Cas, you don’t have to, I can take care of this.”

“But I want to.” His eyes look at Dean in that usual way of his, as if he tried to stare at Dean’s soul. “Please,” he adds. Dean doesn’t say anything, he simply nods and lets Castiel start cleaning his wound.

As Castiel heals Dean’s knuckles, they don’t say anything. Castiel is focused on Dean’s wound while Dean is focused on staring at Cas as he heals him. It has been less than half a year since Cas became human, but sometimes Dean still finds it odd to see Cas this human. He still has some angel behaviors, but Dean likes that, it is what makes Cas who he is. Even when he was an angel he looked more human than angel. That wasn’t something that happened since the first day they met, but after that, Cas started to become more human, becoming a mix of angel and human, and although now he is completely human, he is still that blend.

“How did you get this?” Castiel asks confused looking at Dean’s temple, where there’s a small gap. The ex-angel has already healed and bandaged Dean’s knuckles and now he proceeds to heal that gap Dean forgot about, which means having Cas extremely close, so close that Dean can see himself in Castiel’s blue eyes, making him feel really nervous.

“I don’t know.” Dean simply says, trying to remain calm, feeling his mouth suddenly dry. He likes Cas, a lot. He has feelings for him, he knows it, but he hasn’t let him know yet. He doesn’t know how or when or if he should even let Cas know.

During this period of time, Dean has only gotten closer to Cas, and Cas has gotten closer to Dean. Since Cas started living in the bunker, the two of them have completely forgot what personal space in between them is, they stare at each other in that intense way of theirs more than they used to and they smile every time they are close to each other. Those things have been happening since apocalypse started, but they weren’t as usual as they are now. Every single day they do any of those things, or all of them. And now one of them says a word about it.

And let’s not talk about how gorgeous, pretty, cute and sexy Cas is. It doesn’t matter if he is wearing Dean’s old t-shirt and pajama pants, with his wild hair or if he is wearing a FBI suit on a hunt. Cas looks so fucking awesome all the time. Which makes a lot of things to Dean and gives him too much feelings. And when he gets lost in those blue eyes, Dean feels like drowning, getting lost in all the things he feels about the ex-angel.

The thing is that Dean really wants to be with Cas, he has wanted it for a long time, maybe he didn’t know for sure at first, but after a while, he finally knew and unearthed all those feelings he had for Cas, all those feelings he tried so hard to ignore, to forget, but he couldn’t. But Dean looks at Cas now and he isn’t sure if Cas would want to be with Dean. He suspects that Cas has feelings him, he has fought and rebelled against Heaven for Dean, he has lost an army for Dean, he has given his life for Dean, and maybe Dean isn’t the brightest tool when it comes to his feelings, and much less to someone else’s feelings, but Cas wouldn’t have done any of that if he didn’t feel a thing for Dean.

Cas would do a lot of things for Sam, but as Sam has addressed, Cas only goes beyond the end of things only for Dean. Still, Dean knows that Cas deserves better, and that what he feels for Dean is just that bond they have, nothing else. If Cas truly wanted Dean the way Dean wants Cas, he would have said it, right? After all, Dean has told Cas several times that he needs him, however, Cas has never said that he needs Dean, which it hurts.

But then, when they are this close, when Cas looks at him as if he was trying to see into his soul, to look into his heart, it makes Dean wonder if Cas wants him. They have been through much together and they know almost everything about each other, but there are things in between them that are unspoken, but both of them know that there’s something there that neither of them can put a concrete name.

Dean knows that he doesn’t tell Cas because he is afraid of losing him. He has lost everyone he has loved, and Dean would rather keep his feelings for Cas to himself than losing him. Not telling Cas that he has feelings for him, it is a way of keeping Cas safe. It might be a stupid thing, but Dean can’t lose Cas. And much less to hurt him. Dean is poison, and he corrupts everything he touches. He doesn’t want to poison Cas. Cas has already lost so many things because of Dean, the last thing he needs now is to get hurt because of Dean.

“Dean, are you okay?” Castiel asks as he starts to apply antiseptic on Dean’s gap.

“I’m fine,” Dean simply says, not sure if it is a lie or not.

Castiel gives him that soft look that means that he knows that Dean is lying. “No, you are not.” He has always known when Dean is lying or when he has been feeling like shit. Dean used to be feeling like hell when he had the Mark of Cain, but Cas always could see through that veil Dean used to wear and he even made him smile when no one else could. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

This time, Castiel makes a bitch face. “You have never been good at lying to me, but at least you tried harder and were better,” he sasses with a tired smile.

“Since you became human your sass has only gotten stronger,” he snaps with sarcasm and with a smirk.

“And since I became human your cockiness has gotten stronger.”

“You are a dick,” he mutters with a smile.

“And you are an assbutt.” He smiles as well. Both of them chuckle at that. Dean likes when they are like this; just teasing each other in a friendly way and the both of them chuckling. “What’s wrong, Dean?” he asks again when he has put the bandage on the gap, finishing the healing.

“It’s nothing, Cas. It’s been a long and exhausting day. That’s all.” He isn’t lying, he is telling him the truth, but he is omitting the important thing, that he wants to be with Cas, and kiss him right now, because those goddamn pink lips are so tempting, and he wants to tell him so many things but he can’t, not only because words are stuck in his throat, but also because if he does so, he is afraid of hurting himself and much worse, hurting Cas. “I just need some food and sleep, and I think you do too.” He moves away and starts to place all the things they have used to heal each other on their respective places.

“We could order some pizza, then,” Castiel starts to say and Dean looks at him with a frown. Castiel loves Dean’s cooking, and he loves the pizza that Dean cooks; unless it is Chinese food, something Dean hasn’t achieved on cooking yet, Castiel would rather have something Dean has cooked than ordering food. “You are right, we all are exhausted. It is better if you take a rest and avoid cooking.”

Dean can’t help smiling. “Always worrying about me.”

“You know that I do,” Castiel says sweetly, making Dean to blush. “I will tell Sam to order pizza.” And he steps out of the bathroom and Dean looks at him, with a smile on his face, thinking about all the things he feels about Cas.

At least Cas is in the bunker, something that Dean has been wanting since the first day he stepped in it. Now Cas is home, with Sam and Dean, and Dean is really grateful for that. Cas doesn’t have to leave, he can’t zap anywhere, he lives here, he is part of the family, and Dean couldn’t be more happy about that. Every time Cas left, it broke his heart.

Things could be better, he and Cas could be together, but that’s something that Dean isn’t too sure if it would be a good idea. Being with Cas would involve something Dean has never been good at. Cas isn’t a fucking one night stand or a temporary thing; he has never been any of those things. And it scares Dean to want Cas like that. There’s too much to lose, and as he told Cas a few moments ago, he can’t lose Cas. And Dean knows how messed up and fucked up he is.

But Cas has seen him at his worst in hell and during the following years after that, and he has stayed to Dean’s side. Always. He might not have been living under the same roof as Dean, and he might have left countless of times, but Cas always came back to Dean. And during all these months that have passed since Cas became human, Cas has stayed in the bunker and he hasn’t mentioned about leaving, he hasn’t got anywhere else to go, but if he wanted, he could have left, but he didn’t. Cas is always by his side, no matter what.

Sometimes Dean wonders what did he do to deserve someone like Cas, someone who watched over him and could bring him back to the light in his darkest moments, someone who would give anything for Dean. He can’t help to ask himself how different things would have been if any other angel saved him from hell. As more days pass, Dean is more and more grateful about Castiel being the one who gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.

“There were just a couple of things to save, what is it taking you so long?” Castiel asks with his usual sassiness, interrupting Dean’s thoughts.

Dean turns around and looks at Cas, who is leaning against the door frame, giving him a sassy look accompanied with an arched brow, just to intensify his sassiness. Dean can’t help a cocky smirk. “Are you worried that some pagan god might try to kill me again?” Dean asks. If Cas wants some teasing, Dean will gladly give him that.

Castiel rolls his eyes and grunts. “You are an idiot, Dean,” he says with an acid chuckle. Dean would tell him that he is in fact an idiot, but instead, he just smiles and closes the drawer where the bandages were. “Are you sure you are okay?” The sassiness of his voice has disappeared, leaving space for concern.

“Yeah.” He smiles and gives Castiel a too tender look, not giving a fuck about it, because he wants Cas to know that he is fine, because Cas is here. “I’m feeling good, Cas.” He walks towards Cas, dedicating him a wider smile, that smile he only makes for Cas. “Did you order pepperoni pizza?”

“A pepperoni pizza with extra cheese for us, a vegetable one for Sam and a barbeque one for the three of us,” Castiel answers. Dean can see that his cheeks have blushed a bit after the smile he gave him. “Did you think that I was going to let Sam order you a vegetable pizza?”

“Of course not!” he says chuckling. “Mostly because neither of you want to hear me complaining during the whole dinner.”

Castiel grins, a grin that it is all teeth and gums, and damn it, Dean swears that grin makes Castiel look extremely gorgeous. He should definitely grin more. “Yes, that’s true.” The grin gets wider and Dean could just kiss Cas right now.

But he doesn’t. Like he always does when Cas does something and Dean is dying to kiss him. He always stops himself in order to not fuck up things in between them. He just mirrors that grin and speaks, “C’mon, let’s go with Sam and wait for our pizzas.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.
> 
> My beta is still working on this chapter, so once she is done, I will upload it again :)

The best thing about having a home, it is when there isn’t any hunt and Dean can linger in bed as much as he wants to. He loves being in that warm cocoon of blankets, covered to his nose, never wanting to leave the nice temperature of his bed over the cold one in his bedroom. The bunker during autumn is warm, and on winter too, but nothing beats the warmth and heartwarming feeling of Dean’s bed.

That’s why Dean hates it so much when he has to leave that warm and cozy place when he has the need to go to the bathroom. But he does it anyway. He feels the change of temperature despite of wearing long pajamas pants and one of his Henley’s; it is enough to keep him warm in the bunker, but still, the cooler temperature strokes him not too gently.

After finishing on the bathroom, Dean goes directly to the kitchen, hearing the soft sound his steps make through the hall. The bunker is quiet, meaning that Sam and Cas might be still in their bedrooms sleeping. Usually, Sam wakes up earlier than Dean, but he lingers on bed until he hears that Dean has woken up. On the other hand, Cas doesn’t like mornings too much and he tends to sleep as much as he can. Sometimes he wakes up early, but that only happens once in a month at most. And Cas needs his coffee dose to start becoming a person. Mornings aren’t for him.

But both, Sam and Cas, usually wake up the moment they hear Dean in the kitchen, because those bastards love Dean’s breakfasts, so Sam waits in his beds until the older Winchester has arrived to the kitchen, and Cas fights against the nice feeling of being asleep so they can enjoy his pancakes, waffles, bacon, scrambled eggs or whatever they want. Dean must admit that his brother and his best friend are two sorry sons of bitches, but he must admit that he loves seeing them so happy every time he cooks, enjoying the food.

When Dean steps into the kitchen, he is surprised to find Cas already awake and making coffee. Today must be one of those rare mornings when Cas wakes up feeling like a normal person. Dean frowns confused as he walks towards his friend. “What are you doing awake?” Dean asks as he stands next to Cas, resting the small of his back against the counter.

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel says as he puts some whipped cream on the mug.

“G’morning, Cas,” he says with a smile. He looks at the mug and he checks that it is his own mug, the black one which has Darth Vader on it. Castiel grabs the mug and hands it to Dean, who looks at the coffee and then at Cas. “Did you make me coffee?”

Castiel shrugs one of his shoulders. “Yes. It’s not the first time that I have made you coffee.” He is right; he has made Dean coffee a couple of times, but Dean is always surprised when he does that. Actually, he adores Cas’ coffee; he is quite good at making it. The main difference from all those days is that today, Cas has added some whipped cream on it. “Is it a problem?” he asks with an innocent voice.

Dean can’t help smiling as he looks at Cas. He grabs the mug and dedicates him a wide grin. “Not at all.”

It earns him a cute and shy smile from Cas. Dean takes a sip, feeling the sweetness of the cream and the hotness of the coffee. Cas might suck at cooking, but he is really good with coffee.

“Delicious,” Dean hums with a smile. Again, Castiel smiles in a shy way, but this time, he also blushes and his eyes move away from Dean’s. “How is that you are already awake? Got tired for waiting in bed for me to wake up and make you breakfast? Or the planets have aligned, making you wake up?” he teases.

Castiel frowns. “I don’t know what the alignment of the planets have to do with me waking up earlier,” he says confused and Dean rolls his eyes. Castiel kind of glares him. It is a sweet glare, but it still has some deadliness on it, which Dean finds cute and quite sexy. “I would gladly make my own breakfast, but someone has forbidden me to cook,” he explains as he serves what it must be his second coffee, judging by some of the brown dots left on the inside of Castiel’s mug.

Dean chuckles. Cas isn’t forbidden to cook. But it isn’t advisable to let him cook alone. Last time he tried to make a burger, it started to burn. “You would rather admit that you are a terrible cook instead that admitting that you adore my cooking skills?” he asks teasingly and mockingly.

“You make it look as if you didn’t adore the fact that I do enjoy it,” he snaps with a challenging smirk.

Right now, Dean could kiss Cas. He loves so much being like this with Cas. And fuck, Cas looks so goddamn awesome with one of Dean’s old long sleeve tees and with those plaid pajamas pants and that messy wild bed hair. He wants to kiss him stupidly, feeling that wonderful smile on his lips. Damn it, he has just got up and he is already thinking things he shouldn’t think about.

“You are a dick,” Dean says, as if with that, he could stop thinking all he was thinking and make his feelings take a rest, but he can’t.

“You started.” Castiel takes a sip of his own coffee and shrugs.

Dean shakes his head and smiles before he takes another sip of coffee, appreciating how close they are standing to each other. “Pancakes or waffles?”

“Pancakes,” he says with a happy smile. “And bacon too?” he suggests sounding so timid. Why does he have to be this adorable? He still has his bed hair, going to every possible direction and he shouldn’t look that good.

“Anything else?”

“I would serve myself some fruit,” he answers as he moves away, and Dean watches his movements as he finishes his coffee, with a fond smile drawn on his lips.

Many months have passed since Castiel fell and he started living in the bunker, still, Dean sometimes can’t believe that Cas is here, that he is part of the bunker’s routine. The hunter expects that one day Cas will leave, that he will get tired of all of this and he won’t come back until several months have passed. A part inside Dean tells him that Castiel has been here for too many months and he hasn’t walked out of that door, so it is probably that he won’t leave. But another part inside Dean tells him that it will come one day when he will wake up and find that Cas is gone.

He tries to ignore that itching feeling in the back of his mind that tells him that Cas is going to leave. So Dean focuses on staring at Cas, as he does all that human stuff, like peeling a pear and cutting it into small pieces that fall into a bowl where some other fruits will join that pear. And Dean finds himself smiling, because Cas is still here, despite of everything, and he will stay, Dean knows it, even if there’s a quiet voice in the back of his head telling him otherwise.

His eyes focus on his strong arms, the tanned and beautiful skin of it and he wants to feel the curves and the shapes of those arms as much as he wants Cas’ arms to hold him. Dean wants to trace every inch of Cas’ body, to feel his heat on his skin as his hands trace down that long body. And he wants to feel those lips on his, until both of them are craving for air and left with swollen lips.

Castiel looks at him with a curious look and Dean feels his face heating as a flush makes its way into his face. He turns around and he wastes no more time staring at Cas and he starts to pick up everything he needs to make their pancakes, from the ingredients to the utensils, leaving them on the counter. Suddenly, he feels Cas standing next to him and Dean turns his face to look at him. He is giving him the butter, making Dean smile. Cas is always paying attention to the slightest thing Dean does, even when Cas is busy with his own things.

“Thanks,” Dean says with a timid smile as he grabs the butter, his fingers brushing Castiel’s, sending and tingling feeling along Dean’s body. It happens every time their skins touch, even if it is only a simple graze, but it makes Dean’s heart do crazy things and his cheeks acquire a slight flush.

“You are welcome,” Castiel says, also with a flush of his own. “Shall I give you the bacon and the eggs as well?”

“Yeah, please.”

Castiel nods and Dean watches how the fallen angel moves around the kitchen, knowing exactly where everything is. After all this time, Castiel must know where every single damn thing in this bunker is. But Dean loves to see how freely and determinedly Castiel walks around. It means that this is Castiel’s home too. It has always been, but now it is as if Cas finally was acknowledged of that fact.

Again, their fingers brush when Dean grabs the food Castiel gives him. Like always, they don’t say a word about it, they don’t need to and they don’t want to. A smile, a tender look and their flush is more than enough.

As Dean starts to put all the ingredients inside the bowl where he is going to mix them to make the pancakes’ dough, Cas walks away to where he was before, but he comes back to stand next to Dean, holding the bowl where some pieces of fruit are. Dean looks at him with an intrigued look, but Castiel doesn’t say anything, he only makes a tiny smile and keeps peeling the fruit and cutting them in small pieces.

Dean just smiles, as widely as possible, because Cas wants to stand next to him. It warms his heart more than it should and it makes him really happy.

 

_____

 

When there aren’t any hunts, they just do whatever they want on the bunker. They read, they play games, they listen to music, they watch a movie or anything like that, and if they don’t want to be in the bunker, they like to take a walk.

This afternoon, the three of them are in the library room, but the three of them are doing different things. Cas is with the iPod Charlie gifted him as he reads some Shakespeare book. Even if Metatron already spoiled Castiel almost every book that has been written, Castiel still loves to read, because Metatron didn’t tell him how the stories developed, only some important details of them. Sam is with his laptop and a few files of the Men of Letters, because he is a nerd and he likes learning stuff about Greeks. And Dean is rereading _Breakfast of the Champions_ by Vonnegut.

Despite of his love for Vonnegut, Dean isn’t too focused on the book; he is focused on Cas, sitting at the end of the table, reading really fast as his head moves slightly with the sound of whatever song he is listening to. What his best friend has in that iPod is the weirdest mix of songs Dean has ever known. Dean introduced Cas to the awesome world of rock, and Cas liked some songs, and then, Sam discovered him youtube and spotify and Cas spent like a week going through every band or singer that he found.

Now you can find in his iPod from Led Zeppelin to Beyoncé to Chopin. It’s a chaos, but Castiel said that it was silly to just choose one type of music; as long as that music could make you feel things and you liked it, it didn’t matter who it belonged to.  
Dean can’t help smiling at the picture of Cas right now, all focused on the book he is reading and following the rhythm of the music. He is too adorable. And dorky, but still too adorable.

“Dean,” Sam starts to say, grabbing Dean’s attention. Dean looks at his brother, who is making that obvious face of his and he is no longer looking at his laptop or at the files. “Why don’t you just tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Dean asks trying to play the fool. He must be stupid if he thinks that Sam doesn’t know. Of course he knows, he even whispers CasDean or Deastiel or Destiel when Dean and Cas are looking at each other for too long or they are standing too close or things like that.

Sam rolls his eyes and exhales sharply, clearly showing his irritation. “You exactly know what.” He crosses his arms, leaning further on the table so he doesn’t have to talk too loud. Cas is with his earphones, but it will be better if Sam and Dean talk lowly. “You should ask him out.”

“I’m not gonna ask him out,” Dean snaps with a high pitched voice. He might have thought about asking Cas out, but Dean doesn’t know how to deal with that. Dean has never had any trouble at all when it came to ask someone out, just with the first couple of words, Dean could flirt with anyone. But Cas, well, Cas is different. This is about Dean asking his best friend to be with him, and Dean has no fucking idea how to deal with it.

“Why not?”

“Because— because not.”

He isn’t even able to tell his little brother the truth, how is he going to tell Cas that he has feelings for him and that he wants them to be together? And also, there’s the thing that Dean wants to do this as good as possible, if he ever manages to nut up and confess Cas everything, which Dean doubts, he doesn’t want to start anything with Cas with the wrong foot. But Cas deserves someone full of worth and Dean isn’t that person.

“Are you even listening to yourself?” Sam snaps frustrated. He inhales sharply again and he rubs his face. “You didn’t have any trouble at all to ask all those women out when you were at a bar.”

“Don’t you dare to compare Cas to any of those women,” he snaps angry and frustrated. He is surprised to find Sam smiling at that instead of giving him a snarky face. “Why are you smiling like that?”

“Because you just admitted that Cas is someone special for you,” he answers with a smirk. Dean rolls his eyes. “Not with those exactly words, but I have a Dean Winchester translation dictionary of my own.”

Dean grunts and rubs his face. For fuck’s sake, how can they even be related? “You are the worst.” He looks away from Sam to focus on Cas, who is unaware of the conversation the Winchesters are having. Now Cas has his elbow propped on the table and his cheek is resting on his hand, looking even cuter and making Dean’s smile appear again.

Sam chuckles. “Just tell him, Dean,” he simply says. Dean still looks at Cas. “Tell him that you are in love him.”

With that, Dean turns immediately his face to look Sam with a strange glare, which has more shock than anything else. “I’m not—” But he doesn’t manage to finish that sentence. He can’t say the L word out loud. So Dean just closes his mouth and tightens his jaw, looking at the table, ashamed of looking at Sam, because of course that Sam knows. He is it, but he wanted to lie about it. If he denies it, maybe his feelings won’t hurt him like this.

“Of course that you are in love with him, Dean,” Sam starts to say. This time, his voice is calmer and sweeter. He sighs. “Dean, you two know each other for a long time, and the more time you spend together, the more you love each other. It isn’t that hard to see.”

He meets his brother’s eyes. “He doesn’t— you know, he doesn’t,” Dean says, sounding really hurt, more than he should.

Cas isn’t in love with him, how would he? Dean is poison, Dean is the biggest shit in the whole damn universe, Dean is worthless and he huts everyone he cares about, why would someone like Cas be in love with someone like Dean? It doesn’t make sense. Cas might have feelings for Dean, but he is definitely not in love with Dean.

Sam chuckles and arches his eyebrows in disbelief. “He loves you, Dean. Have you actually seen the way he looks at you?” At that Dean is about to give Sam an answer, but Sam keeps talking, “I mean when you two aren’t looking at each other, which I must say, that should be a pretty obvious hint to know that he loves you.” Those words make Dean blush quickly, the flush spreading to his ears, warmth getting intense. “When you aren’t looking at him, he looks at you as if you were the whole universe and you placed the stars in the sky.”

“Sam, geez, don’t get this cheesy.” He snorts as he shakes his head. He knows that Sam is quite cheesy, but Dean doesn’t like when things get cheesy with him.

“Listen to me, Dean,” he demands, sounding really serious and determined. “He loves you. You love him. Just tell him.” It sounds too easy when Sam says it like that, but the truth is that it is complicated. Cas doesn’t love him. Dean knows it. He might feel something for Dean, but it is not love, and if it is, Cas shouldn’t feel it. Not with Dean.

“I can’t.” His voice comes breathy and he looks at Cas. If he knew what he and Sam were talking about, he would be feeling awkward, Dean is sure.

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

Dean would love being able to give his brother a direct answer or just being able to let him know all the things that Dean feels, but he can’t. He takes a deep breath and looks at the book he was rereading, or trying to.

Sam takes a loud deep breath. “You know what the problem between you two is?” The question makes Dean look back at his brother with a questioning glare. “That the only ones that don’t know about you and Cas, are you and Cas.”

Dean can’t help huffing an acid chuckle. Sam might be right at that, but still, Dean doesn’t say anything and he looks back at the book, trying to remember what was the last sentence he read before he got rapt by looking at Cas.

“You know?” Sam asks, this time he sounds less serious, as if he was going to change the topic, but Dean knows Sam, and he knows his brother isn’t going to leave the topic slip past so easily. “It is almost December, and soon it will be Christmas; Cas’ first Christmas. You could give him as a Christmas present confessing your feelings for him,” he adds with a smug voice and face.

Dean glares him. This time it is a deadly glare instead of a shocked one. “You are a dick.”

“And you are an idiot for not telling Cas that you love him.”

Sam doesn’t say anything; he just gives him that victory smirk as Dean rolls his eyes and shakes his head. But Sam might be right; Dean must be an idiot. He looks at Cas again, still in the world where the book has taken him, accompanied by the sound of his music.

Maybe one day, Dean will tell him. Maybe when Dean manages to sort out all that mess of complicated feelings he doesn’t understand. But he doubts that day will ever come.

“Just think about it,” Sam starts to say again. Seriously, isn’t he going to stop talking about he and Cas? The last thing Dean needs right now is Sammy talking about Dean and Castiel together; it won’t do Dean any good. “Dean, Cas has done more for you than anyone, and I’m sure he wants to tell you that he loves you—”

“If that’s so, why hasn’t he told me anything about it?” Dean interrupts in a snarl. He can’t keep this conversation anymore. Talking about feelings isn’t Dean’s strong point, and he has already had too much of that for the day.

“Maybe he thinks he doesn’t deserve you.”

Intuitively, Dean looks at Cas, feeling how his heart rips to shreds at that. Truth is that Cas has made his mistakes, and so has Dean, but despite of everything, they have forgiven and helped each other. Dean can’t imagine Cas thinking that he doesn’t deserve Dean, in any case, Dean is the one who doesn’t deserve Cas.

“Dean,” Sam whispers, but Dean doesn’t look at his brother, who sighs. “You two have been through everything and you two have been feeling things for each other for years. I think it is time for you two to finally get together and be happy. You both deserve it.”

They deserve it, Dean knows it. But he also knows that Cas won’t be happy with Dean. Since they met, Castiel started to break into pieces, falling apart slowly, until he became human. Dean has already hurt him enough, and he can’t hurt him anymore. There are too many risks and Dean can’t take them.

Or he doesn’t want to?

“Dean,” Sam says again, waking Dean up from his thoughts. His voice sounds worried.

“I’m gonna go back to my bedroom,” Dean starts to say as he stands up, never meeting Sam’s eyes, because Sam knows him too well, and Dean is afraid that his brother might see something that Dean doesn’t want him to see. Sam has already pushed too much the thing related with Dean’s feelings for Cas and Dean right now feels like he’s drowning, unable to breathe properly, his chest pressing tights against his lungs. “I’ll see you for supper.”

“Dean, wait—”

But Dean walks away. Once he and Sam are alone, he will have to explain him why he is leaving, but that can wait. Right now, Dean needs to be alone and get rid of that suffocating pressure in his chest.

 

_____

 

There’s a knock on the door after a while. The music Dean is listening to through his headphones isn’t too loud, so he can perfectly hear the knocking. He takes a deep breath and stops the music.

“Yeah?” Dean asks from his bed, where he is sitting, back resting against the headboard.

“Dean, it’s me,” Castiel says. “May I come in?”

“Yeah,” he says rubbing his face. Castiel opens the door and gets inside the bedroom, closing the door after that. “What’s up, Cas?”

“I just wanted to know if you are okay,” he answers as he takes a few steps forward, approaching Dean, but Cas is still far; he is standing next to the end of Dean’s bed.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I saw you leaving before and you seemed upset. I asked Sam what happened and he just said that it was nothing.”

At least Sam lied to avoid letting Cas know. His little brother can be a pain in the ass sometimes, but the rest of the time he is an awesome brother. “Just wanted to listen some music,” he says casually.

But Cas doesn’t buy it. He sits on the end of the bed and he looks directly at Dean, with that intense gaze of his, trying to stare into Dean’s soul, but he can’t do that anymore, and Dean isn’t sure if he feels relieved about it or not. “Dean—” He starts to say, concerned.

“Cas,” Dean interrupts with a warning voice, sounding not to sharp, but he makes sure that Cas gets that he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Castiel clenches his jaw and makes a frustrated grimace. Then he sighs and shakes his head, obviously outraged. “You always do this.”

“Do what?”

“Keep everything to yourself,” he snaps as he glares Dean. But there’s some pain in his eyes and Dean can’t fully understand why. “It’s not good. You know what happened every time I kept things to myself.” His eyes get a bit glassy and then, Castiel looks at his lap, ashamed, looking so small and insignificant. Dean still can’t understand why Cas is being like this right now. “Don’t you trust me to talk to me?”

So that’s it. The realization leaves Dean with his mouth parted. “Of course that I trust you, Cas, how can you doubt that?” Instead of having an answer, Castiel shrugs, still looking at his lap, unable to meet Dean’s eyes, which is something that Dean hates. “I trust you, okay?” He sounds so determined but those baby blues don’t meet his eyes. He hates it when Cas can’t meet his eyes. “Cas, look at me.” It takes Castiel a few seconds to move his eyes back to Dean’s, and when he does, Dean feels a little bit better, but there’s still pain in those blue eyes. “I trust you, and you know it. I don’t know how you can even doubt that.”  
“Then why have you been behaving in this unusual way lately?” The sadness in his voice has disappeared, leaving space for concern.

Dean exhales sharply. It would be so easy to answer that question by telling Cas the truth, that the more days that pass the more feelings Dean develops for Cas. But he can’t tell him that. Dean might be a bigmouth sometimes, but he can still shut up and lie when things like this happen.

“It’s just being human, Cas,” Dean answers, trying to sound as casual as possible. Castiel frowns in confusion, tilting his head to one side slightly, which Dean finds so cute. “You have your good and bad days, and sometimes you don’t even know why. You should know it now that you are human.” Castiel nods, although Dean suspects that he doesn’t fully believe the lie. “Hey.” Dean moves his foot, as if he tried to caress the small of Castiel’s back with it. “Stop worrying too much about me.”

“I would do that when you stop worrying about me too much,” he says sounding serious, but there’s a pretty, tiny smile on his lips. Dean is soon mirroring it and flushing slightly. “So, is that what’s going on with you?”

“Yeah.” There’s a whole bunch of more, but Dean should better keep it to himself. Cas gives him that intrigued look, trying to read Dean, wanting to know what are the secrets Dean is hiding, but Dean is quite good at pretending, he has always been. “You don’t believe me, don’t you?”

Castiel shakes his head. “We’ve known each other for too many years, Dean.” His voice sounds sweet and candid, making Dean feel a soft heartwarming feeling spreading from his chest to his limbs. “Your eyes betray you when you lie.”

Dean can’t help chuckling, as a failed attempt to not blush, because he does. Cas can see what other people can’t see in Dean’s eyes. Of course that he can. As Cas said, they have known each other for too long, and Cas knows him better than Dean gives him credit for.

When Dean looks back at Castiel, he is still looking at Dean, waiting for him to speak up, or just staring at him, like he always does, Dean can’t tell. What he can tell is that Cas looks really pretty right now, like always, and the more Dean stares at him, the more he wants to lean in and kiss those pretty and tempting pink lips of his, to feel them against his, to feel the warmth and softness of those wonderful lips. Those thoughts have Dean licking his lips unconsciously and alternating his sight from Cas’ eyes to his lips.

But Dean pulls himself away from that thought, thanking that they aren’t sitting closer, because if they were, Dean is sure that he would have kissed Cas without thinking it twice. As he moves his sight away from Castiel’s, Dean clears his throat. “What do you want me to tell you?” Dean asks casually.

“Just talk to me, Dean,” Castiel answers. “Maybe I can help you with whatever it is happening with you.”

He would burst into laughter if he could. But Cas isn’t going to leave this topic because he is going to try to find out what’s wrong with Dean. Cas is like that; he worries too much. So Dean just sighs and starts to say the first thing that comes to his mind, “I was worried because Christmas is just in a few weeks and I don’t know how to make it special for you.” Which is true. But it isn’t the main truth. He has been thinking about that for a while and it’s the best he can come up with.

Castiel blinks perplexed and his lips part. A frown follows all of that. “Are you going to celebrate Christmas?”

“Yeah, of course!” He slides his bottom onto the bed, until he is sitting with his legs crossed and being closer to Cas. “For the first time in so many years we don’t have anything wanting to end the world or willing to kill us or eat us and you are home with me and Sammy, and Charlie will come over, it’s gonna be the first time we can celebrate Christmas decently!”

Castiel makes that beautiful grin of his and flushes a little, this time because he is content. “Well, you are right.”

Dean chuckles. “Do you want to celebrate Christmas, right?”

“Yes, I do.” His grin turns wider and prettier and Dean has to fight against every fiber of his being to not lean and kiss it. “I would love to celebrate Christmas.”

“Awesome.” First Christmas with Cas. It sounds better than anything.

“And don’t worry. I’m sure that I will enjoy anything you and Sam do during Christmas, you don’t have to do anything special just because it is my first time celebrating it.”

“Still, I want to.” And he truly means it. Despite of being Cas’ first Christmas, it is the first Christmas Sam and Dean will celebrate being in their own home, which is something that has never happened before. So it has to be special for the three of them. And for Charlie too, of course. “You are here, and that’s something to celebrate.”

“I’ve been here for half a year, Dean,” he sasses.

“You know what I mean.”

Castiel makes a tiny shy smile and blushes and he looks at Dean’s eyes, telling him that he knows what Dean means. “Well, I guess I should leave you now that everything has been told,” he says standing up, Dean hating the loss of Castiel’s body next to his. “I will see you during dinner, right?” he asks as he opens the bedroom’s door.

“Like always,” Dean simply says.

Castiel nods and walks away from Dean’s bedroom, closing the door after it. And Dean looks at the door for a while, waiting until that tingling that appears every time he is around Cas goes away. Then, he goes back to listen to his music, but this time, he has a soft smile on his lips instead of a frown.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> My beta hasn't been able to beta this chapter, but once she does, I'll upload it :)

It’s the first of December, and although there are a couple of weeks left for Christmas, Sam, Dean and Cas are on the Impala, driving towards a place where Christmas trees are sold. Sam looked on the Internet for an ecofriendly place, which means that for every tree that it is cut and bought, the guys who run that place plant three trees. Sam told Cas, who said it was such a nice act and now they are driving to that place.

Normally, Dean would complain that they have to drive for almost an hour to get a damn Christmas tree, but Sam and Cas are so happy that he isn’t going to argue or complain about this. It is Cas’ first Christmas, and the first time the Winchester brothers will celebrate the holidays with the ex-angel. Dean wants Cas to enjoy every single second of this holiday, and he is going to do everything he can for that.

Also, Charlie will come over for the tenth of this month. She is busy with her job, but once she is free, she will directly come to the bunker and celebrate Christmas with them. Dean can’t remember the last time he spent Christmas with so many beloved people. He isn’t sure if that has ever happened.

Dean told Cas that he could invite Claire over to spend Christmas with them. They called her, something they usually do once in a while to check out how she is doing. Claire has been studying graphic design in London for more than a year and things are going really good for her. She wanted to come over for Christmas but airplane tickets are expensive and she already had planned to do some stuff with her friends. Something Castiel and the Winchesters understood perfectly.

They arrive to the store, which consists on a small cabin surrounded by a lot of trees, and Dean is surprised to see a lot of people walking over the trees, trying to find the perfect one.

The three of them step out of the car, and Dean doesn’t miss the way Cas’ eyes lighten up when he sees all those trees, and neither he misses the soft smile that makes its way into those perfect lips.

“Okay, so do we split up, or what?” Sam asks as he rubs his hands, trying to warm them up. The temperature has been low for several days, but now that they are almost in the middle of the woods, the temperature is colder.

“Why would we have to split up?” Castiel asks confused, making Dean and Sam smile. The ex-angel has been human for more than half a year, but he still doesn’t know a lot of things from humans.

“It’s a way to find the perfect tree easier.”

It only makes Castiel’s frown deepen. “And how does a perfect tree look like?”

“You just see it and you know it,” Dean answers as he shrugs. Castiel’s confusion doesn’t completely go away with that. He makes that thoughtful face of his, as if he was trying to find the answer to a really difficult math’s problem.

“You know what?” Sam starts to say. “How about if you two go together and I go alone?”

Naturally, Dean doesn’t miss that smirk his little brother does. He obviously wants Dean to spend more time alone with Cas. Dean can’t complain, because he adores being alone with Cas, but he knows what Sam is trying to do; he is still trying so hard to make Dean confess his feelings for Cas. If Dean wasn’t a chickenshit and if he could deal with his feelings as good as he can fix his baby, he would be grateful for all the chances Sam gives him to be with Cas. But Dean isn’t going to tell Cas now, he isn’t sure if he is ever going to tell Cas ever. Damn Sammy; his intentions are good, but he isn’t being subtle at all lately and he doesn’t have any idea how freaking scared Dean is about saying a word of his feelings to Cas.

“Seems like a good idea,” Castiel says casually and motivated. He clearly wasn’t sure about trying to find the perfect tree on his own.

“If we find a perfect tree, we will go for you,” Dean says. He is going to kill his little brother one of these days, because that smug face the younger Winchester does, shows how much he enjoys doing these things. He really thinks that Dean is going to tell Cas everything. Sam has a hope and a faith in Dean that the older Winchester can’t see in himself. But Sam has always seen it. No mattered what.

“Good,” Sam simply says, turning over, walking away from Dean and Castiel, who turn over and start to walk in Sam’s opposite direction.

They walk together in silence, looking at all the trees. They are walking really close, but not close enough to let their fingers brush or their shoulders to bump, but still close. They hear the sounds of their steps on the ground, where some melted snow is from the previous days. The sun is almost hidden and night will come soon, which means that it will get colder, but they are wearing several layers to keep themselves warm.

“All trees look perfect to me,” Castiel suddenly says. Dean turns his face to look at him; his cheeks are flushed, like the tip of his nose. Every time he breathes, the air comes out in a white mist that curls until it disappears. Dean sometimes forgets how human Cas is now. “I don’t know how we are going to choose.”

“There’s always that tree that’s different, that has something that grabs your attention,” Dean says as he tugs his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.

“All of them are different.” He takes a quick look to the trees around them. “All of them have a different height, weight, number of branches—”

“Are you counting the branches?” he asks sassily and even surprised. Cas is such a nerd, even more than Sam.

“I’m not counting them. I don’t have to,” And he says it so seriously that Dean has to bite his lower lip to avoid a smile. But he knows that Cas can see that smile. “You are laughing at me again,” he murmurs annoyed and rolls his eyes, clearly upset.

“I’m not laughing at you. It’s just that you are a nerd who doesn’t need to count the branches of the trees to know how many they have,” he explains, but Cas glares him. “You are a weirdo,” he adds with a sweet voice. Cas shakes his head and looks away from Dean. “It’s very of you.”

Castiel looks again at Dean, not understanding what the hunter says. “Very of me?”

“Yeah,” he says with a tender smile that Dean knows that it will only confuse Cas even more. “Things that only Cas can do.”

“Is that supposed to be a compliment?” Dean’s answer to that is a nod. “Okay,” he says puzzled, and Dean swears he can see him making a tiny smile.

Again, they walk in silence, looking at every single tree. For Dean they all look the same, maybe their heights are different in between one tree and another, but the difference must be minuscule.

Dean stops walking when Cas stops. He is looking at a fir that for Dean looks almost the same like the others, but judging by the way Cas is looking at it, Dean thinks that Cas might have found his perfect tree.

“Is this your perfect tree?” Dean asks as he approaches Cas, standing next to him; this time, their shoulders bump slightly.

“Yes, it is,” Castiel answers with a smile that he dedicates to Dean, sending warmth to every corner of Dean’s being. He should smile all the time, it is so damn beautiful. “What do you think?” he asks shyly.

“I like it,” Dean says with a grin. “Why do you think it is the perfect tree?”

“I don’t know, I just—”

“Know it?” Dean finishes for him, seeing how those baby blues Cas has for eyes lighten up.

Castiel nods. “I just know it.” He looks into Dean’s eyes, trying to stare into his soul. And damn it, Dean won’t ever admit how much he loves it when they stare at each other like this. He feels cared when those baby blues look at his eyes, as if Cas was trying to say so many things that Dean can’t read or understand, or things that Dean might be willing to find, but those eyes can set a fire in Dean’s soul.

“Guess you found the perfect one,” Sam’s voice says behind them, which makes Dean and Castiel stop looking at each other and look at Sam. Thankfully, he isn’t smirking, but Dean knows his little brother too well to know that he is doing his best to hide it.

“Cas found it,” Dean says, sounding really proud, and Castiel blushes in that lovely way of his. “What do you think, Sammy?”

“I think it is perfect,” he answers as he looks at Cas, who makes a timid smile.

“So we are taking it home, huh?” he asks eagerly and with a wide smile that shows how content he feels right now.

They call one of the workers from there and she cuts it for them. After paying for it, they tie it with ropes on the roof of the Impala, which makes Dean nervous because they have a long road back to the bunker and he doesn’t want her baby to suffer. But a few scratches will be worth, because the three of them are really happy and grinning all the way back to the bunker, and Dean feels awesome with his family.

 

_____

 

“I don’t know what the hell she packed, but it weighs like hell,” Dean mutters as he drops onto the library table the box that Charlie sent them. She said that if she was going to spend Christmas at the bunker, the tree had to be decorated with some cool and awesome trimmings she had. Charlie knew that they were going to decorate the tree before she could come, so she decided to pack all her trimmings, and by for how much it weighs, Dean is scared of what they could find in that box.

“What did she get into the box? Her whole house?” Sam asks as he looks at the big box.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she packed herself in here.” He takes a deep breath and with one of his knifes, he cuts the scotch tape that keeps the box closed. Dean can’t help huffing a laugh when the first thing he sees is Christmas lights with the shapes of Stormtroopers’ helmets instead of normal light bulbs.

“Are those Stormtroopers?” Castiel asks confused, grabbing the Christmas lights to look at them. After watching the movies several times with Sam and Dean, Cas knows Star Wars almost perfectly. Metatron gave him the basic references, but Cas can now identify every character, thanks to Dean, who is really proud that Cas enjoys the movies as much as he does.

“Where does she even buy this stuff?” Dean asks looking at the tangled mess of the lights.

“I don’t know,” Sam starts to say, looking inside the box, grabbing some of the trimmings. Dean looks at them; _Doctor Who, Harry Potter, Star Trek, The Lord of the Rings, Game of Thrones, Batman, Mario Bros_ … All kinds of different trimmings from books, movies, comics, TV shows and videogames. “But she has lots.” He is as surprised as Dean is.

“We also have regular trimmings, right?”

“Yeah, we found that old box somewhere in the bunker with old Christmas decorations.” He keeps getting trimmings out of the box. Charlie must have spent a lot of money and time on getting this huge collection. “You want to put those too?”

“Yeah. Geeky and tradition together,” he says enthusiastic. Sam chuckles at that, and Dean can see Cas’ little grin from the corner of his eyes. “Okay, well, let’s start with unraveling those lights.” He turns around to face Cas, who has been unraveling the lights on his own. “Let me help you.”

“Don’t worry, I’m almost done,” Castiel says. He has that focused face, which means he is really concentrated and doesn’t want to be interrupted, something that makes Dean grin widely, because it is so cute to find Cas taking such task like this in that serious way. “What?” he asks confused, looking at Dean, who has been looking at the ex-angel for too long.

“Nothing, I just like that you are taking this seriously,” he simple answers, the big grin still drawn on his lips.

Castiel chuckles. “It’s my first Christmas. I want it to be a good one.” He looks down at his hands, where the lights are still tangled with knots. “I’m decorating a tree for the first time in my life, and I’m with the people I most care about.” He looks directly at Dean’s eyes when he says the last part. Dean can feel how his heart wants to get out of his chest with what Cas just said. Cas simply smiles, sweetly and with innocence. “For now, it is going great.”

“Yeah. It is,” he manages to say. His mouth is suddenly dry and he feels as if the bones of his legs were turned into jelly. Without thinking it twice, Dean places his hand on Castiel’s bicep, squeezing it gently, a touch that seems to startle Cas at first, but he relaxes immediately, tilting his head up to meet once again Dean’s eyes. “And I’m glad you are here this time,” he whispers.

The face Cas makes is all sweetness and tenderness and all the goodness that is in his heart. And he looks so happy and touched that Dean smiles and lets his touch linger on Cas. Then, Dean pulls his hand away and goes to find the other box they found in the bunker with all those other trimmings.

When he comes back, Sam and Cas are putting the lights around the tree, which is placed in front of the telescope. Dean helps them, and then, they start to put all the trimmings. All that time is spent with chatting about everything and anything, just whatever they want to talk about, important and unimportant things. And they laugh, they have fun and they enjoy this. And Dean doesn’t miss any of those smiles Cas makes or the sound of his laughter, how he looks so full of life. During all those years Dean has spent longing for Cas, wishing that he was here, he never pictured what it is happening right now, and if he would have, it wouldn’t have felt as awesome as it feels right now. It feels so damn right to have him here, to be the three of them together and being happy that Dean is scared of waking up and finding this is a dream. But for the first time in his shitty life, Dean is living something close to a dream.

Soon all the trimmings are placed. All the branches are occupied with a trimming, some of them with two, and it looks awesome. But the top of the tree is still empty, waiting for the star or the angel to be placed.

“What do you guys want?” Sam asks as he brings a star and an angel from the old box. “Angel or star?”

“Too bad you aren’t an angel anymore to put you on the top of the Christmas tree,” Dean jokes as he elbows Castiel.

Sam rolls his eyes and Castiel glares him, muttering, “You are an assbutt.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” He chuckles. Now Castiel is the one who rolls his eyes. “You choose, Cas.”

“Why me?”

“It’s your first Christmas, so you choose. Angel or star?”

Castiel makes a thoughtful grimace and Sam and Dean exchange a look, wondering what the blue eyed man will choose. After a small pause, Castiel says. “The star. I don’t know how you call that thing an angel. If I still were one, I would take that as an insult.”

Sam and Dean laugh, and Cas makes that cute proud grin he does whenever he manages to make them laugh. “Yeah, sorry for that,” Sam apologizes. “Wanna place it?” he asks handing the star to Cas.

“Yes.” He picks the star and then he grabs a chair. The tree is really tall, much taller than Sam, and Sam can’t reach the top of the tree properly, much less Dean and Cas, so the ex-angel needs the chair.

Cas places the star and he gets down from the chair, walking towards where Sam and Dean are standing, and the three of them look at the tree. Dean thinks it is the best and most beautiful Christmas tree he has ever seen. And it is in their home.

 

_____

 

When Dean walks into the library, he finds Castiel propped on the table, looking at the Christmas tree. It has been a while since they finished supper and Sam has already headed to his bedroom to sleep. Dean was sure that Cas would have decided to go to bed as well, but here he is, looking at the tree with his eyes shining brightly.

“You really like it, don’t you?” Dean asks as he walks towards Castiel, grabbing his attention. Dean places himself next to Cas, barely leaving any space left in between them. He rests his hands on the table like Cas is doing and he looks at the tree.

“It is beautiful,” Castiel murmurs, happiness slipping into his voice. “I didn’t understand why humans considered decorating a tree so amusing, so entertaining, but now that we did it, I understand it.”

“Look at you enjoying Christmas and all its stuff,” Dean says bumping Cas with his elbow. Castiel makes that pretty smile that drives Dean crazy because it is so damn cute and beautiful. “I’m glad that you are enjoying this,” he adds, and Castiel’s eyes meet his, like always. Their eyes always meet easily, as if they wanted to meet and never to look away. It is an action that comes immediately for both of them.

“Thanks for making it special for me, Dean,” Castiel says. Dean’s heart skips a beat with that and he can’t help the tender smile that makes its way into his lips.

“You deserve it, Cas.”

“And you too,” he states. Dean makes a surprised, confused face at that. “I haven’t seen you this happy in—” He takes a deep breath. “Ever.”

“For the first time things are quiet. No demons, no angels, no wars… Just some typical, easy monsters. No one of us is dying, no one is turning into a monster, so things are good. They are so good that we can even celebrate Christmas.” He chuckles at that. It seems so far away the time when the Mark finally was removed from his arm, when the Darkness was defeated, when the gates of Hell were closed and when Cas fell. It was a long and painful road, and now, the road is quiet, and Dean never thought he would live long enough to see something like this. “I’m really happy. I’ve been it for a while, since—” Since Cas started to live in the bunker. But he isn’t going to say that. So he just smiles and looks at Cas’ expectant eyes.

“Since when?” Cas asks really curious. They are really close, more than before, and Dean knows that if he could, he would kiss Cas right now.

“Dunno,” he whispers. Having Cas this close, with those tempting, nice, pink lips a few inches from his, isn’t easy. “Since things went quiet, I guess.”

Cas nods and looks at the tree again. Dean’s heart is going a thousand of miles per hour. Dean looks at the tree too after a while, that usual comfortable silence fills the moment. That’s one of the things Dean likes about being with Cas; they don’t have to say anything to enjoy their company. They can be in completely silence for long periods of time and never feel awkward.

Despite of it, Dean is the one who breaks the silence. “Cas, I was thinking that,” Dean starts to say and Castiel turns his face to look at him. “Since it is your first Christmas, we could take pictures, y’know?” He sounds so shyly, really shyly, but that’s something it always happens to Dean when he wants to do something with Cas that isn’t something Dean normally does. “People tend to take photos on these holidays, so— I mean if you want to, not that I—”

“You look cute when you get this awkward,” Castiel says with a beautiful and even a smug smile. Dean blushes immediately, the red of his skin spreading quickly to his ears. Cas just called him cute. “And you get even cuter when you blush.”

“Fuck, Cas, you can’t say things like that.” He looks away from Cas, who is chuckling. Dean doesn’t know how he isn’t having a heart attack. “You are a dick.”

“I just complimented you and you called me a dick?” he asks with an arched brow and all his sass slipping into his voice.

“Stop teasing me,” he protests with a high pitched voice and pushing Cas slightly, which only makes Cas laugh. Dean is so subtle. He is like a damn teenager next to his crush, being so nervous and awkward. Thankfully Cas can’t read those signs.

“Sorry,” he says sweetly. “Why do you get so nervous when you ask me things like that?” The question is full of curiosity and even worry.

Dean shrugs. “I don’t know, man.” He knows, but there’s no way on earth he is going to tell Cas the truth. “You’ve been your whole life an angel and I don’t know if you are comfortable with these things.” It is a poor excuse, but it is the best Dean can come up with.

Castiel makes a surprised face; clearly he wasn’t expecting that answer. “Oh,” he simply says. Dean smiles like an idiot. “There’s no need to worry about that, Dean, I’m not an angel anymore, I’m human.”

“Yeah, I know that, Cas,” he says. Cas is about to say something else, but Dean keeps talking, “So, do you want to take a picture with me? With the tree behind us?”

“Right now?”

“Right now.” They don’t have a photo together. They have never thought about taking a picture before, but Dean really wants one with Cas. He has photos of his parents, his brother, Bobby and Charlie, but none of Cas. And Cas should be in that photo collection.

“Okay,” Castiel says with a grin that it is all teeth and gums.

Dean grabs the camera, a gift from Charlie, and he programs it to give them a few seconds until the photo is shot. Dean places next to Cas, who presses himself against Dean’s side and places his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean looks at him surprised and blushed.

“Is— this okay?” Cas asks with a trembling and shy voice. He is blushed as well.

Dean places his hand on Castiel’s shoulder, saying with that gesture that it is okay. He looks at Cas with a wide smirk on his lips. “You look cute when you are blushed.”

Castiel blushes even more and he makes a funny face. “You are the worst.”

The photo is taken, catching them with their guard off. Dean chuckles and goes towards the table, where the camera is placed. He looks at the photo, and he adores it. It’s the two of them all blushed, looking at each other’s eyes, their hands on each other’s shoulders and Dean is smirking like a little shit and Cas is grumpy and adorable at the same time.

“It is a great photo,” Cas says, who has approached Dean.

“Yeah, it is,” Dean says happily. “Do you want to take another one? This time looking at the camera?” he asks laughing.

“Of course.”

They take a couple more photos after that one. Dean encourages Cas to make funny faces on some of them, and they turn to be really great photos. Dean adores every single photo, and so does Cas.

Dean leaves the camera in its place and then, he and Cas go to their respective bedrooms. Today has been a long day and they need to sleep. But it has been a really awesome day in Dean’s opinion. And he knows that Cas thinks the same.

Cas’ bedroom is next to Dean’s so they walk together. Dean is about to get into his own, but Cas speaks, making Dean stop.

“Dean.”

“Yeah?”

Castiel makes that adorable shy smile of his. “Thank you for today.”

Dean smiles and looks at Cas as if with that look, he could say all the things he is willing to tell him but he can’t. “You are welcome, Cas.”

“Goodnight.” And he starts to walk towards his bedroom.

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Dean watches how Cas walks away and he smiles. When he closes his bedroom door, Dean leans on it, sighing and closing his eyes as that warm and overwhelming feeling spreads through his body, filling his chest, a tiny smile lifting his lips.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

_A New Day Yesterday_ plays on the Impala and Dean drums his fingers on the wheel along with the rhythm of the music. Cas is on the front seat, next to Dean, who is really glad to hear Cas humming Jethro Tull’s song, which makes Dean smile widely. He feels proud whenever Cas sings, hums or whistles any of the songs that sound in the Impala.

“I still think it is a terrible idea,” Castiel says suddenly, interrupting Dean’s thoughts.

When Dean turns his face to look at Cas, the ex-angel is looking through the window; everything is covered by the snow, and there are some snowflakes falling, but faintly. It has been snowing for several days, so everything is painted in that magical white way.

“It’s gonna be fun, Cas,” Dean says smiling.

“Me falling on hard ice and hurting myself while trying to learn how to ice skate is your idea of fun?” he snaps sassily, glaring him with a frown.

Dean rolls his eyes. He came up with the idea of going ice skating. There is a small lake not too far from the bunker if you go by car, and seeing how cold it has been lately, Dean knows that it must be frozen, which makes it perfect to go ice skating. He suggested it to Cas and Sam. Sam said it was too cold for that and he would rather stay at home. He also smirked to Dean, another of his little brother’s attempts to see if by giving Dean and Cas time alone they would get together.

On the other hand, Cas didn’t seem so convinced, but Dean was really excited to go ice skating that Cas finally agreed, even when he wasn’t too sure about it. After all, Cas has never skated in any way, and Dean told him over and over again that it was something very Christmas-y and he should do it.

“Don’t worry, if you fall, I’ll catch you,” Dean says. And that sounded less cheesy in his mind. But Cas gives him that appreciation look that makes Dean forget about anything. “You’ll do great, I’m sure.”

Castiel chuckles. “You have too much faith in me, Dean.”

“Well,” he starts to say as he parks the Impala under a leafless tree, with its branches all covered with snow. “You were who got me out of hell, so yeah, I’ve got some faith in you.” And he makes his most charming smile before he gets out of the car, but he doesn’t miss the way Cas smiles; chin pressing on his chest, in order to hide it, and the way his cheeks acquire that lovely shade of red.

Outside is cold and Dean immediately misses the warmth of his Impala, but thankfully he is wearing several layers of clothes. And so does Cas; behind that trench coat, a new one they bought after he fell, which looks like the one he used to wear when they met, Cas is wearing almost as much clothes as Dean. And Dean knows this because he made sure that Cas was wearing enough layers to keep himself warm.

“Okay, come here,” Dean tells Cas as he waves his hand, telling him to approach him. Dean opens the trunk, revealing the ice skates Sam and Dean bought a couple of years ago. Dean takes off his boots and Castiel starts to do the same. The coldness of the ground gets through the thick socks he is wearing, chilling his feet slightly. “Watch out for the blades.” He hands Castiel the skates and Castiel looks at them with a curious frown.

“How am I supposed to walk with these?” Castiel asks.

Dean smiles. “Weirdly, but it isn’t difficult, I promise.” He puts on the skates and then, he waits for Cas to put them on. “Ready?” He offers his hand to help Cas to stand up, because he is sitting on the trunk.

“No, but anyway I’m going to have to do this.”

“It will be fun, Cas, I swear.” He bends his fingers, telling Cas to stand up. Cas sighs and stands up. He balances a little because he isn’t used to walk with the skates, but he stays still. He looks surprised at Dean, and then at his feet. “Do you wanna hold my hand while we walk towards the lake?” Dean jokes as he closes the trunk.

“Yes, that would be appreciated.”

Dean’s heart stops beating for some seconds. He was joking, but Cas is already reaching Dean’s hand to hold it. The moment their fingers lace, Dean feels like he wasn’t able to breathe. It feels so damn good to have Cas’ hand tangled with his. He has to fight against squeezing it sweetly.

“Dean?” Cas says.

Dean blinks, feeling like he was somewhere else just a few moments ago, as if he was dreaming. He looks at Cas, who seems calmed about this. He has no idea what the simple act of holding hands can do to Dean. Cas is always unaware about the things he does to Dean whenever they are close or a small part of their bodies touch. But Cas never looks touched by it the way Dean does, he always looks as if it wasn’t anything special for him, just another act.

“Yeah?” Dean whispers after swallowing, trying to get rid of that lump in his throat.

“Shall we?” He shakes his head, pointing to the lake.

“Yeah, yeah,” he says. He clears his throat and they start to walk. “Be careful, okay?”

“Okay.”

Cas seems to do fine as they walk towards the lake, but sometimes he balances and his grip on Dean’s hand tightens, which makes Dean’s heart skip a beat every time that happens. Finally, they reach the lake, perfectly frozen. Their hands separate, leaving a cold in his skin that Dean hates. He is the one to get into the lake first while Castiel stays on the snow, looking at the ice with a thoughtful frown.

“Come on, Cas, you can do it,” Dean encourages with his most charming smile. “I’ll catch you if you fall. Don’t worry.”

Those beautiful blue eyes look at him, showing that he trusts Dean. Castiel nods and he takes a deep breath, as if he was about to do the most difficult task of his long life, but Castiel finally gets on the ice, and he slips, but Dean is quick enough to grab him by his waist, pressing Cas’ body to his. Naturally, Cas has fisted the front of Dean’s jacket as a reflex, and they are really, really close.

“Told you I would catch you,” Dean whispers. He stares into those eyes, seeing himself reflected in them. Cas is so freaking beautiful, he has always been. Those eyes, those lips, that hair, that face, that body… Everything about him is beautiful.

“I knew you would,” Castiel whispers with a tiny, shy smile, but it is really pretty. He tries to pull away from Dean, but he slips again and Dean has to tighten his grip on Cas’ waist. “I can’t stand,” he groans frustrated, fighting to stand again.

“I will help you, Cas,” Dean says. He starts to pull Cas away, never letting his waist go off his hands. “Good,” he says as he feels that Cas can stay still, but he doesn’t let go his hands of his waist yet. Cas stops fisting Dean’s jacket, but he does the action really slow, just in case he needs to reach it again if he falls.

Dean is about to pull his hands away, but Cas stops him. “No!” he yells nervously. Dean isn’t used to see Cas this unsure, and much less about something like skating. “Not yet, Dean.”

“Can I tell you something Cas?” Dean asks with a soft voice. Castiel nods as he gives him that curious look. “If you feel like falling, don’t move your weight to your back, move it to your front; that way, you won’t fall.”

“It doesn’t sound as convincing as you think.”

Dean starts to laugh and Castiel glares him. “Just trust me, okay?” The answer to that is Cas sighing and nodding. “I’m gonna let you go.” Again, Castiel nods. Dean pulls his hands away from Cas’ waist, slowly, just in case, but Cas manages to stay still perfectly. “See?” he asks with a bright smile that Castiel mirrors. “Now let’s skate.”

“Dean—”

“I’ll be by your side, Cas. Don’t worry.”

He sighs and smiles coyly. “Okay.”

 

_____

 

It turns out that Cas is soon skating without any trouble at all, which makes him really happy and it makes him laugh and smile and Dean loves that picture. Cas falls only two times, but that’s because he doesn’t know at first when he has to stop. Still, the two of them spend more than an hour skating and having fun. They stay like that until they see the sun is starting to hide in the horizon and Dean suggests to go back home.

“We should repeat this,” Castiel says as he starts to skate through the lake, next to Dean, both of them going towards where the Impala is.

“And you said it wasn’t gonna be fun,” Dean teases with a huge smirk on his face.

Castiel makes a funny grimace. “I have a really good teacher.”

Dean rolls his eyes and punches Cas’ arm, softly, a way to hide that he is flattered and blushing because of Cas’ words. “Idiot.” He chuckles. Castiel simply smiles.

Suddenly, there’s the sound of something cracking and Dean feels how the floor under his feet collapses. The lake swallows him, the freezing water soaking him immediately and completely.

“Dean!” Castiel exclaims.

Dean manages to emerge. “Holy fuck!” Dean exclaims shaking. The water is too fucking cold as he is already trembling.

Cas is kneeling and he is offering his hand to Dean, who grabs it. With Cas’ help, Dean manages to get out of the lake. The moment he is out, he kneels next to Cas, who starts to touch him. “You are freezing,” he whispers really worried. “We need to get you warm.”

Dean nods and he and Cas walk towards the Impala. Cas opens the backseat door and helps Dean to take off his skates. He takes off his too and he walks towards the trunk while Dean is still sitting on the backseat, trembling.

“Do you have a blanket or anything?” Castiel asks as he looks into the trunk.

“No,” Dean stutters. His teeth are rattling. He feels really cold, extremely cold, and he can’t stop trembling.

“Then let’s turn up the heat,” Castiel says as he closes the trunk and he walks towards Dean.

“If you do that,” Dean starts to say, his voice trembling as his body does so. “The battery will use up and we won’t be able to go back to the bunker. And we don’t wanna get stuck here in the middle of the night.”

Castiel sighs. “Okay, plan B,” he says with a serious voice and Dean frowns at that. “Take off your clothes,” he says as he starts to take off his trench coat.

Dean looks at Cas perplexed, heat reaching his cheeks. “Wait, what?”

“Take off your damn clothes, Dean,” he repeats, this time he sounds pissed off and irritated. Dean looks at him confused, because Cas has just asked him to take off his clothes, which might have shortcut Dean’s brain. Castiel exhales sharply. “Human temperature works better than anything else, so I’m going to warm you up,” he explains as he puts his trench coat on the front seat.

“But Cas—”

“Shut up and do it,” he snaps angrily, making Dean startle. “I’m not going to let you freeze or catch pneumonia. So take off your clothes quickly.”

Dean obeys. Cas is right; human temperature is the best in cases like this, but holy shit, there’s going to be too much skin touching everywhere and Dean isn’t sure he is going to be able to do this calmly. For now, he is trying so hard to not look how Cas takes off his clothes and how more skin is being revealed and fuck, why does Cas have to be so in shape and look so damn hot?

Cas is soon only wearing his boxers, and Dean is it too. “Lie down,” Castiel says, and Dean does what he is told, resting his back on the backseat. Castiel gets in and closes the door. He lies above Dean, who lets out a gasp when he feels the warm and solid body of Cas above him. He fists the leather of the backseat, fighting the urge to wrap his arms around Cas and hold him.

Cas grabs his trench coat and uses it as a blanket, and then, he presses himself a little bit more against Dean, as if he was making sure that every small inch of Dean’s body is covered with Cas’ warm skin. Cas’ face is pressed to Dean’s jaw, and Dean is living the most difficult time of his life right now. He isn’t going to think about Cas almost naked lying on top of him, his long and warm body pressed against him. Dean isn’t going to think about all the skin touching his. And he isn’t going to think about all those places that are being touched and that shouldn’t be touching. And he isn’t going to think about how damn good this feels.

“You are really cold,” Castiel whispers, his voice and breath caressing Dean’s neck.

“Of course I’m cold.” Dean says trying to sound calm and casual. “I fell into a freaking freezing lake.”

Castiel chuckles, and fuck, feeling that on the sensitive skin of his neck, does crazy things to Dean. “Sorry I couldn’t catch you at time.” He rubs his body slightly against Dean, and holy fucking shit of hell, Dean is going to need a really long shower after this, because this is too much for him. He would lie if he said that he hasn’t thought about Cas on top of him, just lying there, but he wasn’t expecting that to happen in this way.

Suddenly, Cas starts to rubs his hands all along Dean’s arms. “What are you doing?”

“Warming you up. You are really cold. This will help,” he answers with such a casual voice that Dean doesn’t know how Cas can be so okay with this while he is almost about to go insane. “You are still trembling.”

“I’m really cold.” His voice comes a bit desperate. The feeling of Cas’ hands touching his skin feels really good, and so does their bodies pressed, but they are just friends and Dean has to take this like what it is; a friend trying to warm up his freezing friend in order to help him. But damn it, the touch of Cas’ skin against his feels so wonderfully great.

“I can tell,” Castiel says with a tiny smile that Dean can feel against his skin. Another thing that it is driving him crazy. “And you are tense.”

How isn’t he going to be tense? He has Cas, the freaking ex-angel of the lord who Dean happens to have feelings for him, almost naked, pressed against his body and touching him. How he is supposed to be? All calmed down? He is surprised that he isn’t having a heart attack. He can feel Cas’ crotch pressing his own, for fuck’s sake.

“I’m just freaking cold, Cas,” Dean murmurs nervous, although with how he is trembling, it sounds more as if he was talking like that because of the coldness.

“I know.” And Castiel presses tighter over Dean, who feels how his lungs run out of air with that. Cas doesn’t stop moving his hands all along Dean’s arms, warming up his skin.

Dean swallows and he looks at the roof of his Impala, as if it was the most interesting thing in the universe, hoping that it will be easier to ignore the man who is on top of him. If Dean wasn’t freezing, he knows he would have already done something stupid, like kiss Cas, or touch him, or God knows what. He would love to kiss Cas senseless, and to fuck him or let Cas fuck him until the windows in the Impala are all steamy and— Thinking that isn’t helping at all.

He feels Cas’ soft humming on his skin, and he turns his face to look at Cas, who has his eyes closed. “What are you humming?” Dean asks curious. He focuses on that sound Cas is making, which helps him a little to forget about Cas’ hands and his body.

“You should recognize it,” Castiel says, interrupting his humming for a moment, but he goes back to it immediately.

Yes, Dean knows it. He has heard it several times. “ _Hey Jude_ ,” he whispers. Castiel nods. “Why are you humming that song?”

“You like it.”

“Yeah, but—?”

“You are less tense now.” He opens his eyes at that; the eyelids revealing the blue treasure that was hidden. Dean could kiss him right now, it would be so easy, but all he does is smile and close his eyes, letting Cas’ soft humming to lull him and relax him. They stay like that for several minutes, and Dean feels warmer the more time that passes. “It seems that your temperature is back to normal,” he states. Dean hums in agreement and he hears Cas chuckling. Then, Cas is moving from Dean, who opens his eyes to look at him, seeing his impressive chest, and Dean feels his face flushing. “We should go back home.”

Every time Cas calls the bunker home, it sends a wonderful warm feeling straight to his heart. “Yeah, we should.”

“Put on my trench coat,” Castiel says as he hands Dean that clothe. “Your clothes are soaked and cold.” He starts to put on his clothes, as good as he can, because he is kneeling on the backseat, with Dean’s legs in between his. Dean can’t stop looking at Cas’ glorious body, wanting to touch, wanting to kiss, hating the cold that Cas’ body has left on his body now that they aren’t skin against skin. “Should I drive or—?”

“I’m not letting you drive my baby,” he says seriously. Castiel laughs. “What?”

“That means you are feeling better.” He opens the door and he puts on his jeans, then, he hands Dean his boots. “I was just making sure that you were better.”

Dean takes a deep breath and looks away from Cas. He can feel the ghost of Cas’ touch and skin on his body. He puts on Cas’ trench coat, Cas’ smell is overwhelming on it; cotton, storms and trees is what he smells like, a smell that Dean adores.

He gets out of the backseat and he gets into the front one, waiting for Cas to join him, something that happens a couple of minutes later. Then, Dean starts the car and he drives them back home.

 

***

 

“Hey guys,” Sam greets them when they arrive. He is in the library, playing some videogame that Castiel doesn’t know the name of. When Sam looks at them, he sees that Dean is with his boots and wearing Castiel’s trench coat. “What are you doing with Cas’ trench coat?” Sam asks with a confused frown.

“He fell into the lake and I had to warm him up and then I gave him my trench coat because his clothes were soaked,” Castiel explains as he sits on one of the chairs.

Sam makes a surprised face and he is about to say something, but Dean interrupts him. “Not a word,” Dean warns, and Sam chuckles. “I’m gonna take a long, warm shower.”

Castiel watches how Dean leaves the library room, watching those long, bowed, freckled legs of him. He watches him until Sam speaks, “How did that happen?”

“I don’t know.” Castiel turns to look directly at Sam’s face. “There was a sudden creak and Dean fell into the lake.”

Sam nods and makes a hum. Then, he looks at Cas. “Are you okay?”

“Yes I am,” he says trying to look casual. Sam gives him that calculative look, the one he makes when he suspects that Castiel is lying, but he doesn’t say anything about it. He is about to, but Castiel keeps talking, changing the subject. “How about we order some food? I don’t think Dean is in the mood of cooking after this.”

“Yeah, I don’t think he is either,” he agrees as he grabs his mobile phone. “What do you want, Chinese, Mexican, pizza?” he asks. Castiel is about to answer, but Sam just grins and talks again, “Why do I ask? You are going to say Chinese.”

Castiel chuckles. “Yes, but if you want any other food, order it, I like it too.”

“Yeah, but you adore that Chinese we order. Besides, we ate burritos last night, so I’m fine with it.”

“Okay. Well, I’m going to my bedroom and wait until Dean’s done in the shower. I need a good warm shower too,” he comments as he stands up. Sam simply nods and starts to dial the Chinese restaurant they always call.

The moment Castiel is in his bedroom, he drops onto his bed and covers his face. He can’t stop thinking about being on top of Dean, feeling his body against him, all that skin, about how nice it was to feel Dean pressed against him, about his hands touching Dean’s arms, his face on the crook of Dean’s neck. He needed to get Dean warm again, and Castiel wasn’t thinking about how it would feel to be with Dean like that. When he came up with that idea, he was only thinking about warming Dean up, but once their bodies were pressed together, Castiel knew it was a bad idea. It worked out, because Dean’s temperature increased to his normal one, but for the rest, it was the worst.

And he could feel how uncomfortable Dean was with that. Of course he was it. He had his best friend on top of him pressing him down. Castiel doesn’t know how he could stay calm. His priority was to warm Dean up, so he kept that in his mind and kept warming Dean up, trying to not think how much he liked to feel Dean like that.

He is in love with Dean, he has been it for an eternity, or what it feels like it. He doesn’t know when it happened, but it happened. But Dean just sees him as a friend, and if that’s what Dean wants, Castiel will respect it. He will do whatever that makes Dean happy. Dean will never return Castiel’s feelings; Castiel isn’t good enough for Dean. After all, Dean is the righteous man and Castiel is just a fallen angel who has screwed things up more than anyone in this universe.

The problem is that now, he knows what it feels like to have Dean’s body against his, and it feels extraordinarily good. And he also knows how it feels to hold Dean’s hand, another thing that Dean was clearly uncomfortable with, but he was the one who told Cas if he wanted to hold his hand in order to not fall, and Castiel agreed, because he didn’t want to fall and he didn’t think that he was actually going to hold his hand with Dean’s. And it felt really, really good.

He loves Dean so much that it hurts. He wishes he could have Dean the way he has been wanting and needing for so long. He wants to make Dean really happy, but Castiel knows he won’t be able to do that. It is true that Dean has been happier since Castiel started living in the bunker, but that doesn’t mean anything.

“Cas,” Dean says knocking on the door, waking Castiel up from his thoughts. He walks towards the door and opens it, revealing Dean, who is wearing his robe and his hair is wet from the shower, which in Cas’ opinion, makes Dean look really pretty and cute. “Here,” he says handing him the trench coat.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel says grabbing it and putting it in his wardrobe.

“Hey, I—” Dean starts to say with that unsure and shy voice he sometimes makes, which Castiel finds adorable. Dean gets into the bedroom and Castiel turns around to look at him. “I haven’t thanked you for warming me up.”

“You were freezing, Dean, there’s nothing to thank me.”

“Yes, there is,” he says; this time sounding surer and grateful. “Thanks Cas.”

Castiel smiles, as easy as he does whenever he is around Dean. “You are welcome, Dean,” he says and Dean nods. “I’m going to take a shower. You left me pretty cold.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah. Sorry for that.”

“Don’t worry.” He steps out of his bedroom, followed by Dean. “Listen,” Cas says before he turns to Dean’s opposite direction. “Sam has ordered Chinese food, because we supposed that you weren’t feeling like cooking.”

“Oh,” Dean says arching his eyebrows. “Well, thanks,” he adds. Castiel simply nods and turns around, walking towards the bathroom. “You can’t stop worrying about me, don’t you?” Dean says from behind.

Castiel turns around and he makes an honest smile. “Do you really have to ask that?”

He doesn’t miss the beautiful grin that appears on Dean’s lips, joined by a small flush. Castiel loves every time he makes Dean smile like that, treasuring every single smile the hunter makes, keeping them into his heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :D

While Sam and Cas play chess on the library room, both of them really focused and concentrated on the game, Dean is reading _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_ , although when he finishes a page, he looks at his brother and his best friend, just to check out how their game is going. For now, it seems that Cas is winning, by the number of black pieces that are on the board. It is quite unpredictable to know who is going to win; both Sam and Cas are really good at playing chess, so you never know for sure who is going to win.

Dean likes chess, and he is quite good at it, but Sam and Cas are like masters on that game. Dean has won them a couple of times, but most of the times he has played with his brother or with the ex-angel, the game hasn’t lasted more than one hour and a half. Whenever Sam and Cas play, the game can last three hours or more. It feels as if they were in a competition.

“Wow,” A female voice says, dragging the attention from the things the three men were doing to look at the girl standing next to the Christmas tree. “I love how you decorated the tree,” Charlie says with a wide grin.

“Charlie!” Dean says standing up and going towards the ginger to give her a tight hug, which Charlie gives back, of course, and it is even tighter than Dean’s.

“Dean,” She says chuckling, happiness slipping into her voice as she tights her arms around Dean a little bit more.

“How did you get in here?” he asks as he pulls away. But before she can answer him, it hits him. “Right, we gave you a copy of the garage key.”

“Yeah. Why would I leave my car outside when you guys have an awesome and huge garage?” She grins. Sam and Cas have approached her, so she goes directly to hug Sam first. “Hey, Sam.”

“Your majesty,” Sam says, making Charlie laugh. “Welcome back,” he says pulling away, grinning widely.

“Thanks.” She squeezes Sam’s arm, dedicating him a big smile, and then, she hugs Cas, as tightly as always. “Hey, Cas.”

Castiel laughs and hugs her. “Hello, Charlie.” He is too happy to see the girl. They get on really well. “It’s good to see you,” he adds when they pull away, looking at each other with wide grins.

“You too.”

Dean can’t help smiling brightly and happily. His family is altogether in the bunker, and not because something terrible has happened, because they are going to celebrate Christmas. He feels so heartwarming and happy that he could cry of happiness. He has wished to have this for so long, that it is hard to believe that it is happening.

“Well, if you excuse me, I’m going to bring my stuff to my bedroom. Then, we will watch movies, play games or plan when we are going shopping for Christmas,” Charlie announces before she leaves the room.

“Are we going to buy Christmas gifts?” Castiel asks with curiosity and Dean can detect a hint of excitement in his voice.

“Of course we are buying gifts, Cas!” Dean says eagerly. “And proper gifts, not the ones for a gas station,” he adds, this time looking directly at Sam, who starts chuckling.

“I already had that in mind, Deanh” Sam says in between laughs. “This year I wasn’t going to buy any of you anything from a gas station.”

Dean’s grin gets wider. “Awesome.”

 

_____

 

The four of them have just finished dinner and they are about to watch a movie, which means that they have to eat popcorn, even if they had a really nice dinner, but Castiel and Dean adore popcorn, and it doesn’t matter if they just ate, if they are going to watch a movie, there has to be popcorn. Sam isn’t a fan of popcorn, so he doesn’t care. And Charlie shares Dean and Castiel’s adoration for that snack, so she agrees to prepare them.

Charlie is in the kitchen with Dean, waiting for the popcorn. They have two bowls, both of them still empty, and they are going to make two packages, because they know one won’t be enough.

“For how long are you gonna stay in the bunker, Charlie? ‘Til New Year?” Dean asks as he rests against the counter.

“I’ll leave on the 27th,” Charlie answers. “I’ve got a larping New Year’s party on California, and it’s gonna be awesome,” she explains excitedly. “You guys wanna come? I bet I can get you invitations.”

“Nah, I think we’ll pass,” he says shrugging. He likes larping, but when it is a game, not when it is a party and people getting drunk and making out with whoever that’s near. And he is sure that Sam and Cas feel the same.

“Got plans?” she asks arching an eyebrow and drinking from a glass she filled with coke.

“No. I think we’ll stay here. We haven’t decided anything yet.” He shrugs. The microwave beeps, indicating that the popcorn is ready, so Dean takes it out and he puts them in the bowl, being very careful with the hot steam that comes out of the package.

“Are you gonna finally nut up and confess your feelings for Castiel?”

Dean immediately turns his face and glares Charlie, who is staring at him with an intrigued look. Of course that she knows. She has known Cas for a while, and she has seen them interact together, and Dean isn’t subtle at all, he is freaking obvious.

“Don’t glare me and answer me, Winchester,” she says with a half sassy and half bossy voice.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Which is probably Dean’s poorest lie and weakest excuse.

Charlie groans. “Dean, you only lack a neon sign that says: I’m in love with Castiel.”

“Don’t say that out loud,” he mutters fiercely and Charlie chuckles before she rolls her eyes. Every time Dean hears that L word, it makes his stomach shrink. That word makes things too real and it makes things hurt more than they already do.

Charlie moves towards the microwave to put the second package in. “You know,” she starts to say, walking until she is next to Dean. “Sam told me that you might be thinking about telling Cas as a Christmas gift.”

At that, Dean makes an exasperating sound. “That’s Sam’s plan. He even gives us more alone time.”

“But you aren’t going to tell him for Christmas, are you?” she asks with a sweet voice. Dean just looks at the bowl. He hates talking about this topic because he knows he has feelings for Cas, but he has never been good at feelings, and much less talking about them. “Of course you are not,” Charlie says. “Dean, it’s your life, and you have all the right to do whatever you want, but in my opinion,” she waits to continue until Dean is looking at her eyes. “You should tell him.”

“And why’s that so?”

“You guys have been through everything, good and bad things. And you are still standing next to each other.” Her voice is bright and full of emotion, spreading it slightly into Dean. “And you two obviously love each other.” She makes a pretty smile and Dean sighs. No, Cas doesn’t feel that way. “The supernatural world is quiet, the big and tough ones are locked, and I think this is the moment you two have been waiting for so long. Nothing is going to take any of you out. I think it is about damn time that you two get together.”

The microwave beeps and Dean goes for the popcorn again. “You make it sound so easy.”

“Because it is easy. You two have left behind the hardest.” And Dean kind of agrees with her. Comparing these last years of his life, since he met Castiel until he came to the bunker to live with them, with how their lives are now, things are much easier and less painful. “So just tell him.”

“What if he says he doesn’t feel like I do?” The question comes in a soft whisper, Dean being so afraid of saying those words out loud.

Charlie huffs. “If you have to ask that question, it means that you haven’t seen how he looks at you.”

Dean makes an acid chuckle. “How does he look at me?” He has heard the same thing from Sam, but he is curious to know what Charlie says about it.

“Like if you were an unreachable star in the sky and he was dying to just have you, to let you leave him blind with your light.”

“Oh crap, Charlie, that’s the cheesiest thing I’ve heard,” he says rolling his eyes. It earns him a tough punch in his arm, which makes him grunt.

“Dean freaking Winchester.” She spits out every word, showing that she is clearly pissed off and determined. Dean looks at her cautiously. “Grow a pair and confess your feelings to the ex-angel that saved your ass from hell, or I swear that—”

“That you, what?” he snaps furiously and challenging. Charlie makes a frustrated voice. “You are gonna tell him?”

“No. Because I don’t want to take that from you,” She answers. And Dean chuckles bitterly. “He loves you, Dean.” Dean is about to say that no, that Cas doesn’t, but Charlie doesn’t let him. “Stop that crap that you don’t deserve to be loved, because there are three people in this place that love you and they would do anything for you, so—” But Charlie can’t finish her sentence because Dean is pulling her into a hug.

“I know you three do, Charlie, I do,” he whispers.

Charlie pulls her face away from Dean’s chest to look at Dean’s eyes. “You do,” she says perplexed. “Then, why don’t you—”

“Let’s just say it is complicated.” The answer only makes Charlie give him a bitch face. “Can we just leave the topic, please?”

“Fine.” She sighs and grabs her glass and one bowl of popcorn. “But can I suggest you something?”

Dean exhales sharply. “Yeah, just spit it out.”

“You should tell him on New Year. Kiss him once the countdown is over,” she says with a charming voice. “It would be a good way to start the year. Very cliché, but it is nice.” She dedicates Dean a smile and walks away from the kitchen. Dean just takes a deep breath and grabs the other bowl. If things were easier, he would do that.

 

_____

 

Truth is, that Dean really adores having Sam, Cas and Charlie in the bunker. Even when they are in separate rooms, it feels awesome. They are most of the time laughing and having fun. This is being Dean’s best Christmas so far, although it wasn’t something really hard to achieve. Dean barely remembers when his mother was still alive and they celebrated Christmas; he is sure that it had to be wonderful, but he can’t remember it. But he will remember this Christmas, and hopefully, next year it will be as great as this or even better, and the next year, and the next one, and so on.

They are even taking pictures all the time. Charlie is the one who grabs the camera to take photos of whatever moment, and it has turned out that Cas is a really good photograph, and he snaps a couple of pictures, which are really awesome. Sam takes a couple of two, and Dean too, but mostly to mess up with his friends and his brother. But Dean can’t wait until Christmas has passed and they print the photos.

Every single day is spent happily, and they soon realize that Christmas will be in five days, and they still haven’t bought any gifts, so the four of them decide to get to the shopping mall and buy their presents.

Naturally, the mall is full of people, and it is close to impossible to walk. It seems that they aren’t the only ones who left shopping for almost the last day. There are people in every store, and it is going to be a hard task to buy everything, but the longer they postpone it, the worst it would be.

“How about if we separate and each one goes by its own?” Dean suggests as he still looks around, amazed by the amount of people.

“It will be faster,” Sam agrees. Then, he looks at his watch. “It’s 10:15,” he says. “How about if we meet somewhere at 12:30? I don’t think we can buy whatever we want in less than two hours.”

“Judging by how packet out this place is, I think it is the wisest idea,” Charlie says. “Does everyone know where the Starbucks is?” she asks. The three men nod. “Okay, we will meet there. If someone is late, just call.”

“Okay,” Dean and Sam say. Charlie and Sam start to walk to the same direction and Dean is about to walk to the opposite, but he sees that Cas is looking around, unsure where to go.

“Hey, buddy, are you okay?” Dean asks approaching Cas and placing his hand on Cas’ shoulder.

“Yes, I just don’t know where to start,” Castiel answers. “I have some ideas for Sam’s and Charlie’s gifts. And—” He stops talking and he looks at Dean.

Dean makes a surprised face. “Don’t you know what to get me?” he asks with a teasing smile.

Castiel smirks. “I know what I’m getting you.”

“You do?” His grin is getting bigger, which makes Castiel blush slightly. Dean hasn’t pulled away his hand from Cas, and they are really close. Right now, personal space doesn’t exist. “What are you gonna get me?” he asks with a teasing voice.

“It is supposed to be a surprise, Dean,” he sasses. Dean just laughs. “I think I’m going to get yours first.” He pulls away, slowly, letting Dean’s hand go from his arm.

“You are not gonna tell me, huh?”

“No,” he answers with a pretty smile.

“What if I told you what I am gonna get you?”

Castiel chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m not going to tell you, Dean.”

Dean walks the small distance in between them, just leaving a few inches in between them. Cas doesn’t step back; he never does. “I can be very persuasive, Cas.”

“I know,” he says with a challenging look that it also shows his cockiness. “But it doesn’t matter what you do. There’s no possible way I’m going to tell you.”

“And why is that so?”

The smile Castiel makes is all tenderness and sweetness, and his eyes are filled with fondness. “Because I want to see your face when you see it.” And he steps back, walking away from Dean, never fading away his pretty and happy smile. Dean just sees how he walks away, with a curious and surprised face, but also smiling.

 

_____

 

Dean finishes quite early. He had in his mind what he wanted to get to Sam, Cas and Charlie. He would have been quicker if there wasn’t that amount of people, but he was expecting that it will take him a little bit longer. Now that he has everything, he is walking towards the Starbucks where they are supposed to meet. He carries all the bags. He has spent more money than he would have normally wanted, but what the hell, it is the first time he is spending Christmas with his family. Money isn’t important.

He has bought for Sam some plaid shirts from different colors, some books about renascence that goes from history to art to supernatural things and a tablet. For Charlie, Dean has bought her some funko dolls from _Game of Thrones_ , a pack of _Star Wars_ socks and a necklace from _The Lord of the Rings_. Finally, for Cas, Dean has bought him some bags of the expensive imported coffee he loves, some sweaters and a set of expensive pencils, because it turns out that he really likes drawing and he is really good at it.

When he arrives to the Starbucks, Dean can see that Cas is in there. He can see him through the window; Cas is sitting on an armchair, his trench coat is tucked on it and there are several bags on the floor, close to him. He is drinking something, and Dean can’t help smiling at that picture. He looks so pretty with his messy hair, his blue plaid shirt and his worn jeans. He looks so human. Dean stares at Cas for a while, feeling how his heart skips several beats.

He decides to come in after a while, sitting on the closest armchair. The moment Castiel sees him, he smiles. “Hello, Dean,” Castiel greets.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says, mirroring the smile. “You finished early.”

Castiel hums and takes a sip of his beverage, judging by the smell Dean can tell it is hot chocolate. He takes a sip and some cream ends up in his upper lip. Cas immediately licks it with the tip of his tongue, and Dean can’t help grinning as widely as possible and blushing a little. Cas looks so damn cute.

“Got everything you had in mind?” Dean asks.

“Yes. You?”

“Yeah.” He takes a quick look at the bags and then, he sees that Cas has that mischievous smile of his.

“Stop trying to find out what I got you.”

“Okay, I’ll stop.” Dean waves his hands in defeat. “You better got me something awesome,” he says arching his eyebrows.

“It is not awesome, but I’m sure you will love it,” he murmurs timidly. He grabs the muffin he also bought and offers it to Dean, who pinches a bit to eat it. “Don’t you want anything?”

“I’ve already spent enough money for today,” he says with his mouth full. He never had a muffin from Starbucks before, and it has turned out to be quite tasty.

“What do you want?” he says as he looks into his pocket for his wallet.

“Are you gonna invite me? Seriously?” he asks surprised.

“Yes. Why wouldn’t I?” Castiel says casually as he stands up. Dean just looks down, trying to hide his happy and shy smile. He isn’t going to let Cas see how flattered he feels by it. “What do you want?”

“I don’t know. Something really sweet,” he answers with a pout, looking at those too fucking blue eyes.

“Something sweet?” Castiel asks with an arched brow as he makes a thoughtful face. Dean nods. “Okay. I think I know what to get you.”

“And that muffin,” he adds pointing at the muffin he just tasted.

“Okay.” He smiles. He is about to walk towards the ordering place, but he stops and turns around, leaning over Dean’s shoulder, which makes Dean’s heart increase the speed of his heartbeats. Sometimes Dean wonders if Cas is aware of how these things, this closeness, those touches have an important impact on Dean. “Don’t you dare to look into the bags for your present.”

“I won’t. I swear,” he manages to say. At least his voice comes out calmer than he feels, even if his mouth has suddenly become dry.

Castiel pulls away, and Dean turns his head to watch how he walks away. The ex-angel is looking at Dean, with a big, smug smile on his lips. Dean just smiles and shakes his head, looking back at the table. This feels really good. It always feels good to be around Cas. Having him around, knowing that he isn’t who knows where doing any of that angel stuff he used to do, it comforts Dean.

“Here’s your muffin,” Castiel says as he puts the plate with the muffin on the table, in front of Dean, who didn’t realize Cas just arrived until he spoke. “And here’s your vanilla frapuccino,” he adds as he sits down where he was before.

“My vanilla what?” Dean asks confused and looking at the beverage.

“Frapuccino,” he repeats. “You said you wanted something really sweet, and that’s one of the sweetest things they have,” Castiel explains casually as he grabs the mug with hot chocolate and takes a sip.

Dean wiggles his eyebrows in surprise and he puts his lips around the green straw to take a sip. The sweetness of the vanilla soon reaches his tongue and Dean almost moans around the straw, something that makes Castiel smile in victory. “Holy shit, this is delicious!”

Castiel chuckles. “I knew you were going to like it.”

“You’ve tasted this before?”

Castiel hums in affirmation. “Sometimes when I go by myself to the supermarket, I stop by the nearest Starbucks and buy that,” he points at Dean’s frapuccino. “Or this.” Now his index finger touches the mug he is holding.

“Who knew you were such a hipster?” he says impressed.

“I’m not the one who moaned with the beverage.”

Dean laughs and Castiel soon joins him. His cheeks soon acquire that lovely shade of pink and those pretty crinkles around the corner of his blue eyes appear, and seeing Cas like that, so happy, it makes Dean’s heart melt.

“Am I interrupting your date?” Charlie asks suddenly. Both Dean and Castiel turn around to look at their friend, smiling like she knows when the world is going to end. Dean immediately blushes and glares her.

“A date?” Castiel asks confused, and Dean looks at him, finding that he is also blushed, but Dean can’t tell if it is because of their previous laughter or because Charlie’s words.

“It’s just a joke, Cas,” she says with a charming smile and squeezing Cas’ shoulder. “But it definitely looked like it,” she adds as she takes a seat, the one next to Dean, who is still glaring at her. Charlie puts all her bags on the floor and she grabs her mobile phone. “Even I take you a picture.”

Dean grabs her mobile phone and looks at the picture. It was taken from outside and Dean is surprised that neither him nor Cas saw her. Both of them are laughing, and looking into each other’s eyes in their particular way. And okay, that photo is really nice and good and yes, it definitely looks as if they were on a date.

“I really like it,” Castiel says with a timid voice.

Dean looks at him, and he can see by his eyes and that expression that he isn’t lying. So Dean makes a wide and pretty grin. “Me too,” Dean says, making Castiel smile and blush.

“Of course that you like it. You two are insultingly photogenic,” Charlie says really sassy. “You two always look really good in every single photo.”

“Are you jealous?” Dean arches his eyebrow.

“Yeah, I am,” she says with an overreacted nod and pouting. “You two are stunningly gorgeous.” Cas blushes immediately and looks down, and Dean rolls his eyes, a bit uncomfortable with those words. “Look at you two all blushed and cute,” she comments with a high pitched voice. It earns her a glare from both of them. “Do you want me to send you the picture?” she asks as she grabs her phone from Dean’s hands.

“Yes,” Dean and Cas say at the same time.

As she sends them the picture, Sam appears, and he greets the three of them as he collapses onto the last free sofa, clearly exhausted by the shopping. “I am not moving from this sofa in an hour.” Sam breathes out. Dean, Cas and Charlie chuckle. “If you don’t like these gifts after all this exhausting shopping, I swear I will kick your asses.”

 

_____

 

Dean won’t be making supper until a few hours later, but his stomach is growling already, so he will eat a slice of the pecan pie he baked the other day in order to hold until dinner.

When he arrives to the kitchen, Cas is there, removing the kettle from the stove, the whimpering of it fading away as the kettle is moved away from the fire. He serves the boiling water into his mug, where there is already a bag of tea. Cas really likes hot beverages; coffee, hot chocolate and tea. He usually has tea in the afternoon.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean announces as he goes towards the counter, where the pie is waiting.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel says. He puts the kettle away and with the thread that it is knotted to the tea bag, he moves it up and down, the transparent water being soon dyed by the tea.

“You want some?” he asks pointing the pie with the knife.

“No, thank you.” He smiles.

Dean grabs a plate and a fork for the pie. When the pie is on the plate, he walks towards Cas, resting the small of his back against the counter. “Did you hide your gifts?” he asks with a teasing voice.

Castiel doesn’t move his eyes from his mug, but he smiles. “Yes, I did.”

“Even mine?”

“Even yours,” he answers, this time he looks at Dean’s eyes. “And it is well hidden, just in case you decide to take a look.”

“I’m really curious to know what you got me.” He puts another fork of pie, tasting the wonderful pecan. “Tell me what it is,” he says with a childish voice.

“Can’t you wait five more days?” His question comes out with sassiness and with an arched brow.

“No,” he mutters with his mouth full. Then, he swallows. “You’ve never bought Christmas gifts before, I just wanna know what you bought.”

“Are you scared that I bought you a terrible present like a calculator or an ironing board?”

“I know it is not an ironing board because it is impossible that it could be hidden in any of those bags,” he starts to say with a playful smirk. “But I wouldn’t say you decided to buy me a calculator.” That earns him a small kick from Cas, which makes Dean laugh more than grunt.

“You are an idiot, Dean.” He turns around, now he isn’t facing the counter, he is in the same position Dean is, with the small of his back pressed against the counter. He blows at the mug and then, he takes a sip of his tea.

With his shoulder, Dean budges Castiel’s. “C’mon, you are willing to tell me.”

Castiel gives him a bitch face. “I won’t tell you, Dean.”

“I will search all around the bunker if I have to.” He isn’t going to, but he likes teasing Cas. He isn’t going to deny that he is really curious about knowing what Cas got him. Cas knows him pretty well, and Dean is sure that he got the perfect present, still, Dean can’t wait.

“Good luck with that,” he says with a smirk.

Dean squints his eyes at that, studying Castiel’s face. “You hid them in the trunk of that ugly thing you have for a car, didn’t you?” he asks mischievously.

Castiel’s eyes open widely. “No, I didn’t.”

“Cas, you are such a terrible liar.” Dean smiles. Castiel flushes in frustration and he clenches his jaw. He clearly doesn’t like that Dean found out where he hid his presents. “Don’t worry, I won’t look. And you don’t have to find a new hiding place.”

Castiel’s brows knit together in confusion. “Aren’t you going to take a look?”

“Nope,” he says. Castiel’s confusion doesn’t disappear. “You obviously want it to be a surprise and I’ll respect it.” He gives Cas’ arm a soft squeeze, just to let him know that he means it. “So I won’t look. I’m not that evil, Cas.”

“Thank you, Dean,” he says with his sweetest smile.

“But that doesn’t mean I will stop teasing you to know what you got me.”

The ex-angel huffs a laugh and rolls his eyes. “You are the worst.”

“You kind of like my teasing.” He makes an adorable pout that makes Castiel to grin, which makes Dean’s limbs to tingle.

“I kind of like everything about you,” he admits. Dean opens his eyes widely, shocked by the words Cas just said and blushing quickly, reaching the tips of his ears. His heart could be just jumping out of his chest right now if it was possible. “Even your stubbornness.”

Dean chuckles and looks at his plate, which is now empty, so he walks towards the sink to leave it there. “You overrate me, Cas,” Dean whispers, showing his back to Cas.

“That’s not true.” His words are sweet and gentle, and Dean can tell that he means them. Still, Dean doesn’t look at Cas, he focuses himself on washing the plate and the fork. “You have showed me during those years what you are capable of, so I think I have a pretty clear idea of you to know that I don’t overrate you.”

It feels like Dean has butterflies in his stomach, and it is dizzying. But Cas’ words though, they wrap Dean in a warm cocoon and it makes him want to believe in them, but Dean hates himself so much that he can’t.

“Dean, I—” Cas starts to say. Dean turns around, because he has finished washing. He sees that Cas is nervous and unsure. Their eyes meet, wanting to say things that they can’t and they don’t understand. Cas is the first one to pull his eyes away, chuckling. “Never mind.”

“No, Cas. Tell me,” Dean insists. He walks the small distance in between them. “What is it?”

Castiel takes a deep breath. “I just want you to know that I—” He doesn’t look at Dean’s eyes until he says that last word. There’s something strange in his eyes, but Dean can’t figure out what exactly. Cas just dedicates him a tender smile. “That I think that you are a good man.”

Dean rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Maybe now, that I don’t have the Mark, that things are quiet, that I’m doing less stupid and reckless things.”

“You still do stupid and reckless things, Dean,” he interrupts him. It makes Dean chuckle. “But you have always been a good man, despite of everything.”

Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, unable to meet those eyes and the sea they are made of, willing to let himself drown in them, get lost and never come back from them. He knows that Cas means those words, but in his mind, Dean sees the night he beat the shit out of Cas and almost killed him. He isn’t a good man. But Cas has forgiven him and it seems that despite of everything, he sees light in Dean.

“Thanks, Cas,” he manages to say with a weak voice.

He feels Cas’ hand on his shoulder, because Cas knows that what Dean needs now is a small touch, and Cas’ touches are never small, even if they are it. Dean opens his eyes and smiles. “And I also know you are a good man because you promised me not to look at your present.”

Dean laughs at that, the weight of that small conversation they had suddenly fading away. It makes Cas smile, and fuck, he looks so goddamn gorgeous, so gorgeous that Dean could give anything to kiss him senseless. But like always, he doesn’t do so and he smiles. “You are one of a kind, Cas.”

“That’s a nice compliment, Dean,” he says smiling.

Dean nods. “Well, I’m gonna go to my bedroom and start wrapping every gift.” At that, Cas opens his eyes in a guilty way. “You forgot to wrap them?”

“Yes, I did.” He sounds annoyed. “I don’t know how I could forget it.”

“C’mon, I’ll give you some wrapping paper,” he says as he moves his head, telling Cas to go with him.

Castiel smiles, takes the last sip of his tea, and he goes with Dean. Both of them smiling happily, Dean treasuring every moment of it, keeping in his mind how beautiful Cas looks when he smiles.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

“What are you doing awake so early?” Dean asks as he steps in the kitchen. Cas is already there, and he is also dressed as if he was going to go out. Dean crosses the kitchen and walks towards where Cas is. He grabs the mug of coffee that Cas offers him and takes a sip, welcoming the warmth and the taste.

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel says as he serves himself some coffee. Judging by how hustler Cas is, Dean estimates that Cas has been awake for a while. He is quite grumpy in the mornings, unless he has drunk some coffee. “I’ve been awake for a while,” he simply answers.

“Why? And why are you already dressed?” He rubs his eyes tiredly. Sleepiness hasn’t abandoned his body completely.

“I’ve been out.”

“This early?” he asks with a frown. Castiel hums and takes a sip of his coffee. “Something happened?” If Cas had to go out this early, it must have been because something happened. “Are you okay?”

But Castiel just makes that sweet and pretty smile, looking at Dean’s eyes, which means that everything is okay. “Nothing happened, Dean. And I’m good.”

Still, Dean has his frown and his worries don’t disappear. “Then?”

“I just had to grab the last thing for your present.”

“Oh,” Dean says surprised; he wasn’t expecting that. Dean just smirks and Castiel is soon with that lovely blush on his cheeks. “You got me all intrigued, man.”

“You will see it tonight,” he promises. “After Christmas dinner, we will interchange presents, right?”

“Yeah.” He nods and gives Cas one of those typical intense looks. “I’m dying to know what you got me, Cas.”

Castiel smiles mischievously, but his eyes are full of tenderness. “I hope you will like it.”

“Sure I will.”

 

_____

 

The kitchen is full with the four of them, although Dean is the one who is actually cooking. Cas, Charlie and Sam help with grabbing something, cutting some other thing, tasting something, but Dean is the one who is cooking. And he is also in charge to not let anyone eat anything that Dean is going to use. Which is a hard task, because his brother, Cas and Charlie have sneaky hands, but Dean manages to hit them with his hand or with the wooden spatula.

“Okay, enough,” Dean says a bit frustrated after using his hand to hit Charlie’s, who was trying to eat some potatoes. Charlie makes a grunt and Dean walks towards the cupboard and grabs some strawberry marshmallows and hands them to Charlie. “Go to the living room and watch anything you want, but get out of here because if you keep eating like this, there won’t be any food left,” he says with a strict voice.

“It’s your fault, everything smells delicious!” Charlie protests.

Sam chuckles at that and Dean gives him a warning look. Dean really likes having them in the kitchen, but right now, they are causing him more trouble because they are all the time trying to steal some food from here or some food from there. And Dean really wants to finish Christmas dinner.

“You sure you won’t need help?” Sam asks.

“No, I won’t. Don’t worry,” Dean answers with a soft smile. “Now get out before you eat everything.”

Sam just chuckles and he and Charlie step out of the kitchen, but Cas stays. “Can I stay here, Dean?” Castiel asks approaching Dean, who arches his eyebrow in question. “I want to see how a Christmas dinner is done.”

“It’s nothing out of the ordinary, Cas,” Dean explains as he gets the turkey into the oven. “The amount of food is the only different thing.”

“Still, can I stay?” His question is timid and he is slightly blushed.

“You won’t eat anything from here?” With his hand, he points all the food that it is on the counter.

“I won’t, I promise.”

“Okay. Then, stay here.”

Cas keeps his promise of not eating anything, and he even helps Dean with some stuff, like chopping some peppers and washing the cutlery Dean has used. Dean is now cutting some bread while Cas is slicing some tomatoes; it is going to be part of an appetizer. Dean saw the recipe on the internet and he liked it, so he decided to use it for tonight.

“So,” Dean starts to say, looking at Cas, who is next to him. “Are you enjoying Christmas so far?”

“Very much, indeed.” Castiel grins. “I’m so grateful for everything you, Sam and Charlie have been doing these days.”

“It’s great to hear that,” he says. Cas has no idea how happy it makes Dean know that he is enjoying Christmas as much as he is doing. “Too bad it is ending, isn’t it?”

“I’m going to miss it, but,” he takes a deep breath and dedicates Dean one of his most charming smiles, making Dean’s heart do those crazy things. “We will have another one next year, right?”

The smile Dean makes is all happiness. “Of course, Cas.”

Cas just nods and smiles, going back to cut the tomatoes. “Damn it,” he grunts suddenly and Dean takes his eyes from the bread to look at Cas’ hands.

“Hey, let me see it,” Dean says grabbing Cas’ injured hand and looking at it.

“It’s just a small cut,” Castiel murmurs. His breath is a bit choppy.

Dean breathes relieved when he sees that it is in fact a small cut. “Yeah, you should be more careful,” he says looking at Castiel’s eyes and tightening Castiel’s hand, which makes Cas gasp softly. Dean swallows with difficulty. “Okay, we have to wash it.” He moves Cas’ hand under the tap and then, he opens it, the water falling onto Castiel’s bleeding index finger. “Don’t worry, it will heal immediately, but I’m gonna grab a band aid, just to protect the wound and to keep it out of the food. Just keep your finger there, I’ll be right back.”

Castiel nods and Dean runs towards the bathroom and he grabs the package, picking up one of the band aids. He makes a weird face when he sees that they aren’t the usual skin color ones; they have bees printed on it.

He is back to the kitchen with the band aid really soon, and Castiel closes the tap and grabs the band aid that Dean gives him. “You bought band aids with bees? Seriously?” Dean asks really sassy.

“I like them,” Castiel says, sounding a bit defensive.

“What are you? Five?” At that, Castiel glares him and Dean moves his hands, apologizing. “Sorry,” he murmurs and Cas sighs. Dean grabs his hand again, looking at the band aid, unable to stop the little smile that makes its way into his lips. “A deadly ex-angel of the lord got himself cut while cutting tomatoes and now he has a bees band aid on his wound. Who would have ever pictured that?”

“Do you really want to picture my punch in your face?” he snaps sassily, and Dean starts laughing uncontrollably at that. “I’m being serious, I don’t understand why you are laughing at all.”

Dean bites his lower lip as he grins, confusing Cas even more. “It’s just that—” He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “There was a time when things were about killing demons, or leviathans, finding your stolen grace, restoring Heaven, finding a way to remove the Mark of Cain, defeating Darkness and now—” He chuckles and looks at Cas. With his fingertips, he caresses Cas’ palm softly, a gesture that Dean finds out that he really likes. “Here we are. You cutting yourself and using a bees band aid and me just laughing like the asshole I am and making Christmas dinner.”

“It’s a good change,” Castiel says, a tender smile drawn on his pretty lips. He rolls his hand, until their palms are touching, and fuck, Dean is fighting the urge to tangle his fingers with Castiel’s.

“Yeah, it is,” He says inhaling sharply. “But I’m still an asshole.”

Castiel chuckles. His fingers move down Dean’s palm, caressing his skin until Cas’ hand moves completely away, leaving a tingling feeling. “I prefer the term assbutt.”

Dean chuckles too. “You good?” he asks pointing at Cas’ hand.

“Yes. I’ve been worse.”

“Yeah, I know.” Dean laughs.

Then, they get what to what they were doing before Castiel got himself cut.

 

_____

 

Everything is delicious and everything is eaten. There’s no food left in any dish or tray. Everyone eats more than they can, but that’s because everything is really delicious, and Dean is so happy and proud of it.

It takes the four of them a lot of time to finally move from the chairs and bring everything back to the kitchen. They have a lot of to wash and Dean wishes they owned a dishwashing machine now. Although, Sam, Cas and Charlie kick him out of the kitchen because he is the one who has been cooking dinner for hours and he deserves a rest, and Dean doesn’t complain; he thanks them that gesture and he goes towards his bedroom, where he hid all the presents, and he brings them to the library room, sitting on the floor, next to the Christmas tree.

He waits there until Sam, Cas and Charlie finish cleaning everything. Dean looks at the tree; tomorrow they will remove it, along with all the trimmings. He is going to miss seeing it. He has never been a Christmas fan, but now that he has a home and a family to celebrate it with, Dean really likes Christmas.

“Presents!” Charlie exclaims as she runs towards Dean.

“Not so fast!” Dean exclaims as he stands up. “Bring your presents and I will let you open yours.”

Charlie doesn’t say anything; she just smiles and she runs away from the room. The three men laugh at that. “Okay, we will be right back,” Sam says walking away, in the same direction Charlie took. Cas, however, goes in the opposite direction, and Dean smiles at him, a smile that it is returned shyly by the blue eyed man.

Charlie is the first one to come back, running eagerly and happily. She sits down on the floor and Dean does the same again. Sam is the next one to come back and he joins them on the floor. They have to wait a little longer for Cas, but not so much. He is soon sitting next to Dean and leaving all the presents he bought scattered in front of him.

“Who wants to open—?” Sam starts to say.

“Me!” Charlie interrupts with a happy groan. Dean looks at her with an arched brow. “It’s been years since I did this,” she explains with a shy voice and shrugging her elbow. “Although you two haven’t done thins since— almost ever.” She points at Sam and Dean and makes a guilty face. Then she points at Cas. “And you have never done this.”

“It’s okay, Charlie,” Cas says with a pretty smile. “Here are yours.” And he hands her the presents.

There are a lot of excited yells with every present Charlie opens. Apart from the gifts Dean got her, she receives from Cas some _Star Wars_ t-shirts and a lot of pins from the stuff Charlie likes. She receives from Sam a retro Game Boy with a lot of games, which is something that she had been searching for years.

Sam is the next one to open his presents. He hugs Dean tightly when he opens the ones the older Winchester got him. He also hugs Cas when he sees that he got him a new pair of boots (Sam’s boots were starting to be torn) and a big book of all the Greek stories. Charlie is hugged as well, because she got him a film set of Hitchcock’s best films.

Then, it is Cas’ turn to open his gifts. Dean doesn’t stop looking for a single moment Cas’ face. It is so bright, expecting and happy that it warms Dean’s heart. Cas opens Charlie’s gifts first; she got him a Spock t-shirt, because Cas likes Spock and Dean sometimes jokes that he is a bit like him. Also, she got him a gardening book, because Cas is the one who spends more time in the bunker’s greenhouse.

Sam gives him his then. He got him more seeds for the greenhouse, a new wallet, because Cas’ is an old one that belonged to Dean when he was twenty something, and a few books of art. Naturally, Cas thanks Sam all those gifts and he smiles at him.

The moment Dean hands Cas his presents, his heart is beating really fast, his beating being the only thing he can hear. The first thing the ex-angel opens are the sweaters, which make him smile prettily. And when he opens the expensive coffee, Cas opens his eyes widely in disbelief and looks at Dean with his lips parted.

“You better share that expensive thing sometime,” Dean says with a smirk.

Castiel chuckles. “I will.” He looks at the coffee in his hands and smiles. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean nods and waits for Cas to open his last gift. Not all the wrapping is removed when Cas’ eyes open wider than they did with the coffee. Sam and Charlie take a look and both of them make surprised sounds. Cas’ eyes are locked on the pencils’ box, trying to make sure that they are real. He blinks perplexed a few times before he looks at Dean, who is blushed slightly.

“Dean—” Cas starts to say.

“You like drawing and you are really damn good, so I thought it was about damn time to get you some proper pencils,” Dean explains casually.

Cas seems willing to say something, but he doesn’t. His eyes look moved by Dean’s gift, and so does the beautiful smile he is making. He throws himself at Dean, pulling him into a tight hug that catches Dean by surprise, but he reciprocates, holding Cas tightly. He doesn’t miss the faces Sam and Charlie make, but he ignores them and focuses on Cas, hugging him like he is doing.

“Thank you so much Dean. I love it,” Castiel murmurs, and Dean just tightens his arms around Cas, unable to say anything, because he is so touched and glad right now.

Cas pulls away and looks at the pencils with a bright grin on his face. He looks again at Dean, thanking the present with his eyes, and Dean simply nods.

“Well, Dean,” Sam says handing him his presents. “You are the last one left.” He grins happily.

Dean opens the presents eagerly and quickly, which makes everyone to chuckle. He hugs Sam to thank him the awesome t-shirts from Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and Metallica that he got him, as long with the last _Game of Thrones_ season and new tools to fix the Impala if it is ever needed.

Charlie is the next one to hand him the presents. She got him a book of pie recipes and a set of some of the best Clint Eastwood’s movies. And Dean hugs her tightly, of course. After that, he immediately turns his face to look at Cas, who seems pretty nervous, almost as much as Dean was before.

“First, this,” Castiel says handing him the first present.

Dean opens it, and he is surprised to find vinyl records from the bands he likes, Led Zeppelin, Nirvana, AC/DC and Black Sabbath. He hasn’t got any of those records. “How did you—?” Dean starts to ask.

Castiel smiles. “I know the lyrics of the songs you play in the Impala. I searched on the internet the records those songs belonged to and I made sure you didn’t own any of those records.” The explanation leaves Dean astonished and smiling. “Now,” Castiel says handing him a box that isn’t wrapped. “This.”

Dean gives him a curious look and all Castiel does is smile timidly. Dean pouts before he smiles and then he removes the tap. Inside the box, there is a photo album and a couple of frames. He grabs both things and he looks at them.

“You have all those old photos inside an old folder, and I thought that an album would be a good idea to keep them, and the frames could be used for the one you have of your mother and any other photo,” Castiel says.

Dean looks at Cas and he wants to cry of happiness. It is such a simple gift, but it is awesome, because Cas knows how important those photos are for him, and he wants Dean to keep them safe and in good conditions. He feels his eyes getting glassy, because he wasn’t expecting this.

“I also,” Castiel keeps talking and he gives Dean a thick envelope. “I got you this today.” Dean grabs it and opens it, revealing all the photos that have been taken with the camera. “So you can have more photos in your album.”

“Cas—” Dean says, and the first tear decides to fall down from his ear, ending on his chin. It is a perfect gift.

“Are you crying because you like it?” he asks puzzled.

Dean chuckles and Sam is the one to answer that. “Yes Cas, he is crying because he really likes it.” His voice is almost as touched as Dean feels.

“Cas I—” Dean says smiling, a few more tears deciding to leave his eyes, tracing his face down. “Thank you so much.” He grabs Cas and gives him a tight hug. “Fuck, thanks a lot Cas, thanks,” he says against Castiel’s shoulder. He feels how Castiel’s arms wrap around him, tightening, and gosh, it feels so fucking good.

“You are very welcome, Dean.”

There is the light of a flash and they turn around, to look at Charlie, who got the camera at some moment that Dean didn’t see. But she is grinning widely, and so is Sam. “I had to take a picture of this moment,” she says. Dean would roll his eyes, but he is so happy because of Cas’ present, that he simply smiles, like Cas does. “Can we see the pictures?”

“Yeah, sure.” Dean chuckles.

There are more than fifty photos, and Dean really likes all of them. He is willing to put them all in the album, with the old ones he has in that yellow folder in his bedroom. Every single photo brings a grin to Dean, and to Cas, Sam and Charlie.

Suddenly, Dean spots a photo of himself smiling, looking happily, but he isn’t looking at the camera; he is looking at the opposite direction. “Who took this photo?” Dean asks with a frown.

“Me,” Castiel says shyly, and Dean gives him a half weird half confused look. Castiel bites his lower lip guiltily. “You looked— pretty,” he says blushing quickly, and Dean blushes too. He looks away and he finds Sam looking at him with an arched brow and that know-it-all face. Dean just goes back to look at the photos and he finds another one of himself, this time he is in the kitchen, and by the ingredients that can be seem at the table, he was making a pie. He looks at Cas, wanting an explanation. “Yes, I took that one, too.”

“Are you stalker or what?” he sasses.

Cas is about to say something, but Charlie stops him. “You are very photogenic, Dean. He isn’t the only one who has been snapping photos of you,” Charlie says. “And I even take one of your brother’s fabulous hair,” she says as she searches for a specific photo. It is one of Sam, and it seems as if the photo belonged to a shampoo commercial.

“Charlie, what the hell?” Sam says grabbing the photo and giving it a weird look.

“Because you are worth it, Sam,” she says with a deep voice, and all of them burst into an uncontrollable laughter.

 

_____

 

After spending a big amount of time looking at the photos and then talking about a lot of different things, which made time to fly, they find that it is almost two a.m., so they stand up and they grab their presents, going directly to their bedrooms. They say goodnight to each other before they leave the library room.

But Dean lingers a little in the library room, looking at the photos with a wide smile in his face. He hears Cas approaching him, leaving the gifts he is carrying on the table. “Did you really like them?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah. A lot,” Dean answers with a wide and honest grin. “It is so simple, but it is—” He takes a deep breath, still touched by the moment. “Awesome. And perfect.”

“I’m glad to know that.” He smiles and their eyes meet. Dean could kiss him now, sweetly and gently, telling with a kiss how grateful he feels, thanking Cas everything, telling him what he feels with that simple action. But he takes a deep breath and moves his eyes away. He isn’t going to do that. He would only embarrass himself.

“So this is why you woke up early today, huh?” Dean says pointing at the photos with his eyes.

Castiel hums in agreement. “I didn’t want you to know.”

“Wanted to see my surprised face?”

“Yes.” He gets a bit closer, and Dean’s heart stops for a moment. “And it was wonderful.”

Dean chuckles and looks down, pressing his chin on his collar. He can feel the beating of his heart in his fingers. “You can’t say things like that, Cas.”

“Why not?” He sounds fragile, and even a bit embarrassed.

Because you have no idea what those words make to me. It is the truth. But Dean can’t tell him that. Instead, he looks at him and gives him a charming smirk. “Because I hate it when you make me blush.”

Castiel chuckles, relieved to know that Dean isn’t mad at him. Dean can read Cas better than he did years ago. Cas’ eyes have always been quite expressive, but the rest of his face has always been an enigma. The more time they spend together, the better Dean knows how to read him.

“You kind of like it,” Castiel says. And yeah, he kind of likes it. “Your gifts were amazing too, by the way.”

“Yeah, I could tell by the tight hug you gave me.”

Castiel laughs, the beautiful sound of it filling the room, getting under Dean’s skin in a perfect way. “I wasn’t expecting anything of it. I will taste the coffee tomorrow and I will prepare you a mug.”

“Sounds good.” And it really does. “Well, I’m gonna hit the hay.” He starts to grab all his presents, coupling them on his arms and hands as best as he can. “Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean,” he says as he starts to grab his own presents as Dean walks away. “Dean,” he says suddenly, and Dean turns around. “Thank you, for all.”

Dean nods. “You are welcome.”

“Merry Christmas.”

Dean chuckles and dedicates Cas one of that smiles that he only makes for Cas. “Merry Christmas, Cas.” And then, he goes towards his bedroom, the smile still on his lips.

When he closes his bedroom door, he puts all the presents on the bed. It is quite late, but there is no rush to wake up early in the morning, so he decides to place every gift where it belongs. He puts the t-shirts in his wardrobe, the vinyl records where his other ones are, the DVDs on that bookcase where there are already some, and he does the same with the book. The tools of his Impala will go to the garage, but Dean leaves them in a corner of his bedroom for now.

He looks at the album and the frames, and he sits on the bed, a big smile on his lips as he sees all of that. He decides to grab his old photos and the new ones and he starts putting them inside the photo album. He puts every single photo inside it carefully and tenderly. Nobody has ever known how much Dean has wanted an album to put all those photos he hasn’t taken until this year and all those photos of people that are no longer here. But Cas knew, without having to say a word about it; Cas simply knew.

After putting all the photos inside the album, Dean grabs that old photo of his mom and he puts it inside the frame, the glass of it protecting. Dean smiles at it and leaves the frame where the photo used to be. It looks better now that it is protected inside that silver frame.

Dean stares at those four remaining frames, wondering which photos could go there. He decides that one of he, Sam, Cas and Charlie would be great, and it will be placed on the library. So he puts the photo inside that frame. He grabs another of him and Sam with Bobby, which will also go to the library. Then, one of he and Sam that Cas took outside the bunker. He and Sam are sitting on the hood of the Impala. It was taken a few days before Charlie came. It was a nice day, despite of being in December, and they wanted to take a ride in the Impala and they ended up ending some hot dogs.

Finally, Dean looks at the last frame and he knows which picture he is going to put in there. He opens the photo album and grabs the first photo he and Cas took; the one where they have the Christmas tree behind them and they are looking into each other’s eyes and blushing. That photo is perfect. So Dean puts it on the frame and places it on the desk, next to the one he has with Sam.

Looking at those pictures makes him smile widely. They give the bunker a deeper feeling of home. For Dean, the bunker has been home almost since the day he stepped inside, but now, every part of the bunker is attached with memories, good and bad ones, but mostly with good ones. Some things have changed, like the colors of some walls, the living room used to be a dusty room with some strange boxes, some of the furniture of the kitchen have been replaced by furniture bought on Ikea and some other things like that.

Dean goes towards his bed and sits down on it. He opens the photo album and looks at all the photos. They are just pieces of paper, but they are wonderful moments that will last for a long time. Those photos show the happiness that Dean never thought he could have. He looks at every photo, looking at every smile, every face, not fully believing that he has the chance to keep all those precious moments with him. Cas gave him an awesome gift.

He closes the photo album and he steps out of his bedroom, going towards Cas’ bedroom, with the album in his hands. He is about to knock the door before he stops. What the hell is he doing? It is almost 3 a.m. and he is going to wake up Cas to show him the photo album. They have a lot of days for that, don’t they? Then, why is he in front of Cas’ door in the middle of the night?

Maybe it is because he wants to thank him over and over again this detail. Or maybe because he is tired of fighting against what he feels for Cas. He isn’t sure. It is late, and it has been a very emotive day for Dean, he is tired, too tired, so he doesn’t know what he is exactly doing.

But he is being stupid. He can’t get into Cas’ bedroom and hope that the moment he steps inside, it will be like in those cloying romantic movies and they would know exactly what they want and they will kiss. Their lives aren’t that simple and easy. And Dean isn’t sure if Cas feels the same way. Dean is just a mess, a guy full of shit, an idiot, why would Cas feel anything for him? Sure, they are friends, but that’s all.

Still, Dean wants to tell Cas. Looking at those photos, has made him realize that he can have happiness if he wants to, even if deep down, he still thinks that he doesn’t deserve it. And he is really happy with Cas, but he wants to take the next step. But he is scared of what taking that step might lead to, what it might involve. The last thing he wants to, is to hurt Cas, and Dean’s personal experience has taught him that he hurts everyone he cares about, everyone he has feelings for. He has already hurt Castiel, for fuck’s sake.

He presses his forehead against the door and takes a deep breath as he closes his eyes. Dean Winchester has fight against demons, angels, leviathans, monsters, destiny, faith and whatever that tried to get him killed, and here he is, in front of his best friend’s bedroom door, the one who he has feelings for, wishing he could just step inside and tell him everything.

Dean knows he has to think about this and decide what to do. He is so tired of wanting and fighting against it. He wants to wake up next to Cas every fucking day, he wants to hold his hand, he wants to hold him whenever he wants, he wants to kiss him, he wants to fuck him, he wants to make him smile all the time, he wants to take him on dates. He wants Cas like he hasn’t wanted anyone else before.

His eyes open and they look directly to the album that he still has in his hands. He needs to think about this and grow a pair and tell Cas. But he wants to do it well; he doesn’t want to start something with Cas with the wrong foot. They have fucked so many things up already and they need to get this right.

Dean walks back to his bedroom, closing the door behind him. He leaves the album on the desk and then, he starts to takes off his clothes, only leaving his underwear and his Henley shirt. He gets in his bed and switches off the lights. He would usually fall asleep quickly, but his mind is thinking about Cas, because Dean has too many things to think about. But after a while, he finally falls asleep, dreaming with a blue eyed ex-angel.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

Truth is that Dean was expecting to spend New Year’s Eve in the bunker with Sam and Cas, but here they are in Omaha, Nebraska, with a ghost case that has prolonged more than they expected and wanted. They thought that it was a case about a solo ghost, and although it only took them one day to do research and find Mrs. Bellamy grave, they salted and burned her bones. But that didn’t stop the attacks of the ghost.

It turned out that Mrs. Bellamy’s husband, who died several years before her, was also responsible of those attacks. The ghost marriage was attacking together. It seems that Mr. Bellamy never left his wife completely and waited until his wife died to be together and cause all those attacks.

Dean and Sam are the ones who are digging the grave, because Cas won at rock, paper, scissors, and he is the one kneeling on the edge of the hole, lighting the Winchesters with the lantern. Definitely, Dean’s plans for New Year’s Eve were completely different from this.

Soon, Sam’s shovel finds the coffin and he and Dean open it, revealing Mr. Bellamy’s skeleton. Sam and Dean get out of the hole to stand next to Cas, who is about to hand Dean the salt, but something pushes Dean away.

“Dean!” Sam and Cas yell, turning their faces towards Dean.

Sam is the next one to be pushed away, ending as far away from the grave as Dean is. Dean is a bit dizzy, because he hit his head really hard with a stone, and he is bleeding, but he isn’t passed out. He looks at Cas, who is still standing next to the grave, and he sees that Cas throws at the ghost some salt, making him disappear.

With Sam’s help, Dean stands up and they run towards Cas, who is already salting Mr. Bellamy’s skeleton. Sam grabs the gas and starts to drop the flammable liquid on the corpse, but again, he is interrupted, because the ghost moves him away from the grave, making Sam fly off. Cas and Dean suffer the same fate, but this time, the ghost comes directly to Cas, and he places his hand on Cas’ heart, and Cas starts to scream painfully.

“Cas!” Dean yells. He is about to help Cas, but the ghost moves him away. He does the same with Sam, who also tries to help Cas.

Cas keeps screaming painfully and Dean starts to run towards the grave, that thanks to the ghost, who moved Dean away from Cas, he also approached him to the grave. Immediately, Dean grabs his lighter and he lights it, dropping it into the grave. Soon, the fire appears and Dean turns his face to look how the ghost burns and he screams painfully. He disappears soon.

Dean runs towards Cas, who is lying on the floor. “Hey, hey,” Dean says kneeling next to him. “Hey, you with me?”

Castiel takes a deep a breath and nods. “Yeah,” he simply says, breathless.

“Sam?” he asks looking at his brother, who is standing up.

“Good,” Sam answers, walking towards where Dean and Cas are. “Are you okay, Cas?”

“Yes. Although I would be better if someone had rushed up,” Castiel says looking at Dean.

“Shut up. I saved your life.” He offers his hand to help Cas to stand up. Cas simply chuckles and takes Dean’s hand. “And at least you are not bleeding,” he adds with some sass and touching where his wound is.

Cas cups Dean’s face, a touch that startles Dean at first. Then, Castiel moves his face so he can see his wound, even if it is hard because it is dark. “We should get you to the hospital.”

Dean lets out an acid laugh. “Yeah, sure.” He pulls away from Cas’ grip, hating the loss of his hands on him. “Nothing that can’t be cured at the motel.”

He doesn’t miss how Cas looks at Sam. It is a look that Dean knows very well; it means that he wants Sam’s help to convince Dean to do something. “Don’t look at me, Cas,” Sam says chuckling. “You know how much he hates hospitals.”

The roll of eyes Cas makes is all frustration and exasperation, followed by an unpleasant grunt. And Dean smirks at him, because he knows that it doesn’t matter what Cas does, Dean isn’t going to go to a hospital for a small wound. He has been worse and he has never gone to a hospital.

They stare at the burning grave, waiting until it finishes, because they will have to bury everything then. Dean looks at his mobile phone, checking the hour. There are some hours left until midnight. Maybe they will have time to celebrate it someway.

 

_____

 

“Could you please stay still?” Castiel grunts as he cups Dean’s face again, moving his head again. Cas is sitting behind Dean and he is healing the wound, which is on Dean’s crown.

“I am still,” Dean says.

“My ass that you are still.”

Sam and Dean chuckle at that. Cas sometimes swears, but it is unusual, and in Dean’s opinion, it is adorable. “He is starting to be a foul-mouthed,” Dean tells Sam, who is sitting on one of the beds.

“I wonder who is the responsible of that,” Sam sasses and Castiel chuckles.

Dean is about to move his head to dedicate Sam a deadly glare, but Cas’ fingers dig on his cheek, stopping him. “Move your head again and I’m bringing you to the nearest hospital,” Cas threatens with a really serious and imposing voice.

“Fine,” he grunts. He feels how Cas keeps healing his wound. It isn’t too deep, but it needs to be sutured, and Cas knows how to do that. “You know, once I’m healed we could go out to a bar to spend the last hours left ‘til New Year,” he proposes casually.

“Didn’t you have enough adventures for tonight?” Sam says with his concerning voice and he points at Dean’s head.

Dean rolls his eyes. “It’s just an unimportant wound.”

“Unimportant wounds don’t need sutures,” Castiel snaps.

He is about to turn his face to glare at Cas, but he knows that if he does so, Cas will take him to the hospital. When Cas promises something, he complies it. So Dean just lets out an annoyed huff and says, “Thank you, mister sassy.” It earns him a punch on his shoulder, and Sam laughs at it. “Idiot.”

“Assbutt.”

“Anyway,” Dean keeps talking, ignoring Cas’ frustration. “We could go and have some beers. It’s Cas’ first New Year’s Eve, and we are going to spend it sleeping in a motel?”

“Are you using me as an excuse to go to a bar?” Dean can’t see him, but he knows Cas is doing his squinty eyes.

“If you wanna go into the woods and burn some marshmallows, I’m on it too,” he says casually and shrugging. “I just wanna celebrate it, man.”

Sam sighs and he looks at Dean. “Okay,” Sam says with a pout. “We’ll go to a bar and have some beers.” It makes Dean grin widely. They are going to celebrate the New Year. He can’t remember the last time they did it. “Truth is I don’t wanna spend tonight in the motel either.”

“Awesome. Are you on it, Cas?”

“You are going to drag me in there whether I want it or not,” Castiel says sighing and moving away from Dean. Apparently, the wound is now completely healed. “Although I wouldn’t recommend you to drink too much,” he adds as he walks away to trash away the bloody, used gauzes. “Not with that wound of yours.”

“Okay,” he says nodding. “You two are responsible of my drinking.” He points at Sam and Cas. “C’mon, let’s get out of here.” He jumps out from the couch eagerly and he grabs his leather jacket.

He knows it isn’t the best plan ever, but he doesn’t want tonight to be like another night. He wants to have fun and be with Sam and Cas. All of this is improved, but sometimes, improved plans work better than the planned ones. As he thinks about that, he looks at Cas and dedicates him a wide smile, that makes Cas blush and smile softly at him. Maybe tonight, Dean could tell him. Maybe.

 

***

 

Castiel wasn’t sure about spending New Year’s Eve in a bar, but sitting on a table with Dean and Sam, talking about anything and everything, is really nice. He expected to spend this night with them at the bunker, but this case brought them here, but he is happy to be with his friends, and Dean and Sam seem so happy too, specially Dean.

Dean has been really happy lately, and Castiel loves that so much. Seeing Dean happy is something wonderful, and Castiel is so glad to see him like that. After so many years being angry and hurt, seeing Dean happy, it is extraordinary.

“Are you guys up for another round?” Sam asks standing up from the chair.

“Yeah,” Dean says, then, he looks at Cas, who nods in agreement. Sam disappears into the crowd, although Castiel can see him at the bar, waiting for someone to take his order. The whole bar is crowded, which seems that Dean wasn’t the only one who had this idea. “Sorry if this isn’t what you were expecting,” Dean suddenly says. He is sitting beside Cas. The table isn’t too big for people who are as tall as they are, and sometimes Dean’s knee bumps with Castiel’s, but Castiel doesn’t mind at all.

“Actually it is quite nice,” Castiel says. He has to approach Dean a little because people in the bar are quite loud and it makes it a little hard to hear each other properly. “Even if everything is quite loud.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah. Human thing,” he says and he drinks the remaining beer that was left at the end on his bottle. He looks at it, and he drums his fingers on it. He seems a bit nervous.

“Are you okay?” he asks worried.

“Yeah, why do you ask?” He turns his face to look at Castiel’s eyes. Those green eyes are too intense that Castiel is sometimes afraid that those eyes can see through his.

“You seem nervous. Is there something troubling you?”

Dean makes a nervous chuckle. “I might be considering doing something,” he starts to say, this time he doesn’t meet Cas’ eyes, instead he focuses on the empty bottle of beer he has in his hands. “And I don’t know if it is gonna be a good or bad idea.”

“What are you up to this time?” he asks worried. He doesn’t have any idea what Dean might be referring to, but Castiel’s immediate thought is something like the Mark of Cain or worse.

But Dean chuckles, easily and calmly. “It’s nothing related with the supernatural world, Cas,” he explains, and Castiel feels relieved by that. “It’s something related with—” he sighs and lifts his eyes, shyly. “With my personal life.”

“I don’t fully understand.” And he really doesn’t.

He takes a deep breath. His eyes are stuck on Castiel’s. “I just—” But he doesn’t finish his sentence because Sam arrives with three beers.

“Sorry for the waiting, guys,” Sam says grunting and sitting down.

“Don’t worry,” Dean says. And before he turns his face to his little brother, he dedicates Cas a tender smile.

Nothing of what Dean spoke about to Castiel is mentioned, so the three of them are soon back to what they were talking about before Sam stood up. Soon they are laughing again, but Castiel is still trying to figure out what Dean meant. Dean was nervous about it, and that makes Castiel be worried. But now Dean seems to be better, his nerves seem to have abandoned him. However, Castiel thinks that Dean is still nervous.

Midnight is only fifteen minutes away, and Dean decides to get them another round, so he stands up and walks towards the bar. Castiel watches him walk away, looking concerned at his best friend.

“Are you okay, Cas?” Sam asks worried.

Castiel turns his face to look at the younger Winchester. “Yes, I am,” he answers. “It’s just that I am not used to spend too much time with this high volume,” he explains as with his hand he shows that he means the ambient.

Sam chuckles. “Yeah, it’s pretty loud. You’ll get used to. There will come a time when you barely hear them.” He moves his index finger in a circle and looks around, grinning.

“Really?” he asks grimacing.

Sam nods. “Really. You are now used to drink three beers and not being drunk, right?” Sam can’t help chuckling at that and Cas blushes embarrassed at that.

“I don’t know if that’s an improvement or not.” He makes a bitter smile, and Sam laughs.

Castiel looks back at the bar, looking for Dean, and the moment he sees him, he regrets deciding to look at him in that moment. Dean is kissing a blonde girl. Castiel moves his eyes away from Dean and that girl, feeling how his heart breaks. Dean has all the right to do anything like that, they aren’t together, but it hurts so much to see him kissing someone else.

“Cas, what’s wrong?” Sam asks extremely worried. Of course that he can see the pain in Castiel’s face, how isn’t he? Right now, Castiel can only feel his heart breaking into millions of pieces. This shouldn’t hurt as much as it does. They aren’t together, they won’t be together ever, Dean doesn’t love him, Dean isn’t attracted to him, and he knows him, Castiel knows it well. He shouldn’t be jealous, he shouldn’t be feeling something as painful as this, but he does. “Cas?”

“I just need some air,” Castiel says standing up and walking away. He can hear Sam calling his name, but he ignores him. He needs to be out, because he can’t breathe in that bar. His chest feels trapped.

The moment he steps outside, he can breathe again, but not as properly as he wanted. He walks a few more steps, until he is in the bar’s parking. He feels his eyes getting glassy with tears that he doesn’t want to let out. This is the first time he has seen Dean kissing someone and it hurts a lot.

He inhales sharply, the air feels as if it was made of fire and it burns his lungs. He is being ridiculous. That might have been what Dean was trying to tell him, isn’t it? It has been a long time since he was with a woman and he was feeling nervous about it. And Castiel was really worried, thinking all the terrible possible scenarios.

His heart aches so much. He knew that sooner or later something like this would happen. He is sure that Dean might have been with other women during this last year, but Cas never saw it, which made it easier to ignore it, to forget it, but now that he has seen it, it just makes things really hard and painful.

Castiel wishes he could remove that picture. Why did he have to look? But nothing would have been different if he didn’t look, right? Dean would have come to where Sam and Cas were and tell them that he was going out with that blonde girl. It would have hurt as well. He inhales needy, the air never feeling enough, he feels suffocated and dizzy. It’s all his fault, because he is in love with Dean, because Dean doesn’t do feelings.

“Cas!” Dean yells from behind. Castiel closes his eyes, hoping that the tears his eyes are willing to let out don’t decide to come out now. He takes a few more breathes, feeling how his broken heart beats faster. “Cas, hey, what’s wrong?” Dean asks as he approaches him and Castiel opens his eyes, refusing to look at Dean’s green ones. “Sam told me you weren’t feeling fine.” His hands come to rest to his shoulders, and Castiel wants to pull away from his grip, but he can’t; he doesn’t feel well. “Cas, buddy,” Dean moves his head until their eyes meet. “Talk to me.” He sounds so desperate.

He can’t talk to Dean right now, he can’t look at him, he can’t feel his hands on him. He can’t let Dean see him like this. So Castiel just pulls away from Dean’s grip, not missing the slight terror that slips into Dean’s eyes. “I just want to go back to the motel.”

“What?” he asks confused and sounding a little hurt. “Cas, what happened?”

“Nothing.” He still can’t meet Dean’s eyes.

“Bullshit, something’s wrong.”

“I said nothing, Dean!” he yells and he finally meets Dean’s eyes. He can see in that forest he has for eyes that he is worried and confused. “Would you please give me the motel room’s key?” He shuns those beautiful eyes, filled with so many emotions. The ex-angel isn’t able to look at those eyes right now. It hurts too much to do so.

“But—” Dean starts to say. “What about celebrating the New Year?” His voice comes out in a heartbreaking way, and Castiel is sure that Dean must hate that he sounds like that.

“I don’t care about it,” he murmurs seriously and hurt. “I just want to go back to the motel.”

“Cas, what—”

“Are you going to give me the key or not?” he snaps furiously, meeting Dean’s eyes, hating to see real hurt in them.

Dean grunts and he searches in his jeans pocket for the key, handing it to Cas once he finds it. Castiel is very careful at not trying to brush Dean’s fingers with his when he grabs the key. “I will drive you there,” Dean says.

“No,” he says. Dean makes a confused, angry and hurt face. “I want to walk back alone.”

“I’m driving you back there. Do you think I’m gonna let you walk alone this late?” He is angry and frustrated, his voice shows it.

“Yes!” he snaps angrily. Dean clenches his jaw and Castiel closes his eyes. He takes a deep breathe. “Just get inside the bar and celebrate the New Year with Sam,” he finally says, this time sounding calmer. When he opens his eyes, he can see that Dean’s eyes are a bit glassy too, and Cas doesn’t understand why. It must be frustration. “I won’t lock the room.”

“Cas.” Dean is about to grab his wrist, but Castiel pulls away.

“Just leave me alone, Dean. Please,” he begs. And the moment those words are spoken, Castiel can see the hurt in Dean’s eyes. But he walks away from Dean, not wanting to look at him anymore.

He doesn’t look back, even if he is sure that Dean is watching how he leaves. But Castiel keeps walking, never turning his face, because he is already crying, the tears that he kept since he stepped out of that bar are now leaving streams on his face, dying on his chin.

He knows that he shouldn’t have been that sharp with Dean, that Dean wanted him to stay, but Cas couldn’t. He only wants to lie down on the couch and sleep, hoping that when he wakes up tomorrow, he will feel better, that this would be part of a dream that never happened. Maybe his feelings will calm down when he wakes up.

The motel room feels cold and empty, but he doesn’t care, and he doesn’t even mind to switch on the lights; the light that leaks from the only window in the room is more than enough. Castiel just drops onto the couch and grabs a blanket. This was the only vacant room, so he has to sleep on the couch tonight. Sam and Dean are too big for the couch, Cas is it too, but he doesn’t mind or care.

Castiel closes his eyes and tries to sleep, but he doesn’t fall asleep. He tries so hard to leave his mind in blank, but he can’t. He is tired, not only emotionally, but also physically, and yet, slumber doesn’t come for him. And he isn’t sure if it will. His thoughts are so loud and the pain in his heart is too intense.

It isn’t a surprise when he hears Sam and Dean arriving to the motel room and he is still awake. But he keeps his eyes closed, pretending that he is asleep. He isn’t sure how long has passed since he left, but it feels that less than an hour.

The lights are soon on and Castiel hears Dean grunting. “Damn it Cas, you should have picked my bed,” Dean mutters frustrated, then he sighs.

“So he didn’t tell you what was wrong?” Sam asks in a low voice. He might not want Castiel to wake up, although it is useless, because Cas can’t sleep, but the Winchesters think he is sleeping soundly.

“No,” Dean says devastated. “He just—” He takes a deep breath. “He didn’t want to tell me. And he was really upset, Sammy.” Castiel can feel that Dean is close to the couch. His voice has started to sound closer, and he can feel his shadow, covering the light that comes from the lamp. “Didn’t he tell you anything either?”

Sam sighs. “No. He was fine and suddenly, he was like something terrible just happened.”

Suddenly, Cas feels Dean pulling the blanket that covers him up, until it almost covers his mouth. “I hope it’s nothing bad and he feels better.” Now his voice is really close and Castiel tries his best to not move a single muscle.

The brothers don’t say anything else. Castiel hears the ruffling of clothes and sheets and the lights are off soon. He can hear Sam’s and Dean’s breathings, and he envies that the Winchester brothers can manage to sleep that easily while he is begging for slumber to come for him.

He doesn’t know when, but he finally falls asleep.

 

_____

 

Castiel hears some ruffling and he opens his eyes, the backrest of the ugly couch being the first thing he sees before he closes his eyes; the sunlight that leaks through the window is quite annoying and intense, and his eyes haven’t adjusted yet to it. So he rolls on the couch, facing the twin beds and he opens his eyes reluctantly. He finds Dean showing his back to him and packing some things in his bag.

Dean turns his face and looks at Cas. “Hey. Good morning,” Dean says with a sweet voice.

“Good morning,” Castiel simply says as he rises, sitting on the couch. He rubs his eyes tiredly and he touches his neck. It hurts from sleeping on the couch. And his shoulders ache too.

“You should have slept in my bed,” Dean says with a worried but tender voice.

“You are taller than me. Sleeping in the couch would have done nothing good to you.”

“It didn’t do anything good to you either,” he says with a bitter smirk.

Castiel rolls his eyes and looks at Sam’s bed. “Where’s Sam?”

“He went for breakfast.” He zips up his bag and then he sits on the bed. “Hey, Cas,” Dean starts to say. Castiel doesn’t meet his eyes. He isn’t ready to do that yet. He feels a bit better than when he left the bar, but his heart still aches. “What happened last night?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he answers as he pulls the blanket away and he stands up. He shows his back to Dean while he folds the blanket.

“Okay.” He is a bit pissed off. “You are the one who complains about me not talking about stuff and you are now doing the same thing.”

Dean is right. But Castiel doesn’t want to talk about what happened with Dean. What is he going to tell him? That he saw him kissing a woman and it hurt him so much that he couldn’t breathe properly because he is so deeply in love with Dean? That would only complicate things.

Castiel turns around and he looks at Dean’s eyes. He is worried and pissed off. Castiel wishes he could tell him everything, but he can’t. “Just forget it, Dean,” he murmurs.

“Haven’t you learnt in those past years that I’m not someone who forgets?”

Castiel makes an acid chuckle. “I know.” Again, he looks at Dean’s eyes, showing him that he is determined with this. “But it’s nothing.”

“It’s clearly something.” He stands up, frustrated, but he sounds a bit sweet.

“It’s none of your business,” he snaps. And he hates how he sounds. He hates talking to Dean like that, but he wants Dean to let all of this go; it will be better for the two of them. “I’m going to take a shower.”

“Cas,” Dean starts to say, but Castiel gets into the bathroom and closes the door. He hears Dean grunting on the other room, but he ignores him.

 

***

 

Dean just stares at the bathroom door and then he drops onto his bed, the springs of the mattress cricking with his weight. He wants so bad to know what’s wrong with Cas. The more Dean tries to understand what is making him to be like this, the less he knows. They were having a good night and suddenly everything fell apart with Cas and Dean didn’t know what happened.

He has thought about when he went for those beers and that drunk chick kissed him, something that shocked Dean at first, because it had been years since he last kissed someone, but he pulled her away immediately. Maybe Cas saw it, but he would have seen that he pulled her once he reacted. So that can’t be, right? And the bar was really crowded and it was almost impossible to see anything. But if it was that, Cas would have told him.

Sam said that it happened suddenly, that he was fine and then he needed to get out of there. Dean wants to ask Cas, but Cas keeps avoiding the thing, and it is driving Dean crazy. Last night, once the New Year arrived, Dean was going to kiss Cas. He was so determined to finally kiss him and tell him everything and ask him on a date, and Cas just got out of the bar without any explanation, looking really hurt and pushing Dean away.

Cas has always talked about these things, and now he is shutting himself off. That’s why Dean is so worried about Cas. He never shuts off. Maybe he just needs time? Dean isn’t sure. He has never been good at dealing with these stuff when it is about himself and he is even worse when it is about someone else.

He will give Cas time if that what he needs. If it isn’t that, Dean isn’t sure what he can do. All he wants right now is for Cas to feel better, but it is going to be difficult to help him when Cas isn’t saying a single word about what the fuck is wrong. Dean takes a deep breath and covers his face with his hands. This is the fucking worst way to start the New Year.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

A week has passed and Cas still hasn’t said a word about what happened. And much worse, he is kind of avoiding Dean. The ex-angel spends more time than usually at the greenhouse or in his bedroom. Sometimes Dean tells him if he wants to watch some movie or TV show, but he always says that he has stuff to do. But if Sam is going to watch that thing with Dean, Cas might join them.

They barely spend time alone. Before that thing happened, Cas and Dean used to spend some time alone, but now they don’t. The ex-angel acts naturally when Sam is with them, but if there’s a chance that he and Dean are alone, Cas is weird and awkward, and it is starting to worry Dean, because he knows that he has to do a lot with that thing that is bothering Cas so much. And every time he wants to talk to Cas, he avoids him or goes away.

Dean misses his friend so much. And they live under the same roof.

“Does he talk to you?” Dean asks to Sam. They are in the living room, watching _Die Hard_. Cas is in his bedroom doing something. “When you are alone?”

“Yes. He talks to me,” Sam answers. “Doesn’t he—?”

“No.” Dean sighs. “We haven’t been alone for once. Every time I want him to watch something with me, or do something with me, he always has to do something. He barely speaks to me when we are alone. And he barely speaks to me when you are with us,” he explains frustrated, rubbing his exhausted eyes. He isn’t even sleeping properly thanks to that problem with Cas. “I don’t know what I did, but I fucked it up.”

“Just ask him.”

“Don’t you think I already tried that?” he snaps frustrated. Dean exhales sharply. He is irritated and it isn’t Sam’s fault, he knows it, but he can’t keep his anger and frustration to himself anymore. “Every time I try to talk to him, he walks away. Right now, I wish we could be fine, even if it meant not knowing what the fuck is going on with him.” He rubs his eyes again. He is tired of this. He wants things to be like they were before New Year’s Eve. There’s a small silence in between he and Sam that Dean breaks. “Has he told you anything?”

“No.” He takes a deep breath. “And I have tried to ask him, but he always tells me that he doesn’t wanna talk about it.”

“Awesome,” he says sarcastically. Cas is shutting off from everyone.

They keep watching the movie and they don’t say anything else about the topic. Dean barely pays attention to the movie. He has seen it tons of times that he knows the whole dialogue. Despite of that, he always likes watching this movie. But now, he stares at the screen, not hearing any of it, not focusing on the pictures. He is still thinking about Cas and how he can fix things in between them.

The movie ends sooner that Dean expects. He blinks perplexed when Sam stops it and puts the DVD back in its box. If Sam hadn’t stopped it, Dean is sure that he would have stared to the screen during the long credits.

“I’m gonna go to the supermarket,” Dean says as he grabs the notebook and the pen they keep on the coffee table. “We need milk, cereals, toilet paper, meat, vegetables, fruit…” he starts to list as he writes down all those items. “Butter, olive oil, beer, napkins…”

“My shampoo,” Sam says.

“Dude, we would save a lot of money on your shampoo if you cut your hair.” He groans as he writes down on the paper Sam’s shampoo.

“And we would save a lot of money if you used regular olive oil instead the one imported from Spain,” he sasses with a smirk.

“Their olive oil is awesome and food tastes better with that one than any other oil,” he says as he writes down a few more things that they need. “Besides, you were the one who told me not to ever cook with anything that wasn’t olive oil,” he reproaches with a snarky voice. Sam makes a guilty face and Dean smirks. “I’m gonna check in the kitchen if we need something else and I’ll drive to the supermarket.” He tears the paper and he stands up.

“Okay.” Sam says.

Dean puts the list inside his jeans’ pocket and he walks towards the kitchen. He finds Cas in there, preparing some tea. “Hey, Cas,” Dean says. It sounds like a murmur. Every time they are alone in the same room, he feels how his heart skips a beat, anticipating that Cas is going to walk away as soon as possible. It brings Dean a lot of painful memories from when Cas used to leave the bunker without any reason at all.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel simply says. At least this time he looks at his eyes, which is an improvement.

“Listen, I— I’m going to the supermarket, do you wanna come with me?” he asks shyly and nervous. He knows that Cas is going to say no, but he used to like going with him and Dean wishes so bad that he says yes.

“I would rather stay here,” Cas answers.

Dean nods and he looks away, trying to hide the pain he feels. He starts to open the cupboards, seeing if they need something else, but it seems that he didn’t forget to write down anything. “Do you need something that isn’t written on the list?” he asks handing him the shopping list.

Cas reads it quickly and he hands it back to Dean. “Would it be too much if I asked you for tea?” He sounds shyly and a bit sweet, and Dean hasn’t heard him like that for days. And it is nice.

“The green one?”

Castiel hums. “Shall I show you the box or—?”

“No, you don’t have to. I know the brand and how it looks like,” he says. The kettle makes that loud sound and Castiel quickly pulls it over from the fire, pouring the hot water into his mug. “Cas—” he starts to say. Castiel hums, telling him to go on. “Why don’t you come with me?”

“I don’t feel like going,” he answers. He doesn’t look at Dean. “But if you need help with all that stuff, I will go.”

Dean makes an exasperated breath. “No. It’s fine.” He makes sure to sound annoyed. “I’m sure you don’t wanna waste your time with me,” he mutters. He turns around, but he can see that Cas turns around too, wanting to say something to Dean, but it is too late for that. He doesn’t care what Cas wanted to say; he is sure it wasn’t important.

He goes to his bedroom and grabs his leather jacket before he goes to the garage. The moment he starts his Impala, he turns the volume up, the loud music of his rock tapes being the only thing he can hear, shutting up his thoughts. That’s what he needs right now.

 

_____

 

After dinner, Dean just headed to his bedroom. He wasn’t in the mood for anything. He is in his bed, trying to sleep, but it is too early for that. He could be doing something else, but he doesn’t feel like it. And his head is full of thoughts, making it impossible for Dean to fall asleep. The best he manages to get is a twenty minutes nap. But it is already past midnight and Dean has only achieved that shitty sleep.

His stomach growls, so he decides to leave the warmth of his bed and go towards the kitchen to eat some snack. The bunker is in silence, except for the sounds Dean’s bare feet make on the floor, but they are quiet. The lights of the hall are on; they are always on. The only way to switch them off is to go to the main switch, which means turning off everything. The same happens with the library and the war room. Dean is thankful that they don’t have to pay the electricity bill.

He arrives to the kitchen and switches on the lights. The kitchen floor is cold under his feet, but he doesn’t care about it. He goes to the nearest cupboard and finds a bag of Cheetos and some cookies. He decides to eat a few cookies.

The growling of his stomach stops almost immediately, and after Dean has eaten almost ten cookies, he has a glass of water, appreciating the way the cold liquid caresses the inside of his throat.

As he gets out of the kitchen, he passes next to the library room, getting to see someone’s silhouette. The standard length of that hair belongs to Cas. Dean decides to walk towards the library, even if he knows this isn’t going to end up well. They haven’t said a word to each other since Dean left for the supermarket and Sam could sense the awkwardness in between the two of them, but he didn’t say anything about it.

“Can’t sleep?” Dean asks. He rests his shoulder against the doorpost, looking at Cas’ back.

Castiel turns around, surprised and a bit startled. He clearly wasn’t expecting Dean to be awake. “I can’t,” Castiel recognizes with a tiny, shy smile. “And you?”

“Me neither.” He sighs and decides to walk towards Cas, who is looking at the pages of a book. “Cas—”

“I’m not in the mood to talk about what happened during New Year’s Eve,” he interrupts snarly, his eyes never leaving the book.

“I wasn’t gonna ask you that,” he snaps. And it is the truth; he was going to tell him that if he wasn’t sleeping, maybe he could make him a hot chocolate, which is something that always helped Sam to get back to sleep as a kid.

“Sure,” he simply says, sounding annoyed.

“You know what?” Dean says quite furiously and taking from Castiel’s hands the book he is holding, leaving it on the table, something that earns him a deadly glare from Cas. “I’m done with all this crap.”

“Dean,” he begins to say with a warning voice.

“No,” he spits out. “It’s been a fucking week, Cas! And all I’ve managed it’s to push you away! Clearly, I’m the one who has fucked things up!” He is raising his voice more than he should, but he is really pissed off with Cas’ behavior. “So why don’t you just fucking tell me what I did so we can stop with all this crap?!”

Castiel grunts in frustration. “It’s nothing, Dean.”

“Don’t bullshit me, Cas!” he yells frustrated and irritated. They are looking at each other’s eyes. Both of them are really annoyed and pissed off, Dean more than Cas. “What the hell did I do?”

“Leave me alone, Dean,” he says walking past Dean, but Dean grabs his wrist and stops him. Castiel turns around, facing Dean, dedicating him his deadliest glare. “Let me go.”

“No,” he says, and he feels his eyes getting a bit glassy. He exhales sharply. “We are living in the same place and I miss you because you’re avoiding me all the time! And I don’t know why! I just want to help! I’m worried about you! So tell me what I did!”

Castiel’s eyes get glassy, and he clenches his jaw. It is like he was fighting against the urge to tell Dean what is going on. Dean looks at him, hoping that Cas will finally tell him, but he doesn’t. There’s only silence in between them. His blue eyes want to tell so many things, but Cas isn’t saying a single word.

Dean finally grunts and he releases Castiel’s hand, the action showing his anger. “Screw you, Cas,” Dean says really hurt. He can see Cas’ hurt and confusion in his eyes after Dean’s words. “I’m trying to fix things in between us and you don’t give a single fuck about it!” It hurts to know that he means so little to Cas that he doesn’t even care about Dean, who lets out an acid chuckle, a way to hide his urge to cry. “You don’t give a single fuck about me.”

“That’s not true!” Castiel yells angrily. “You have no idea how important you are to me, Dean!” Like Dean’s eyes, Castiel’s are also glassy. He must be fighting against the need to cry.

“Yeah, sure,” he says sarcastically. “That’s why you are avoiding me! That’s why you don’t tell me a shit! That’s why we have barely spoken in a week! You have a weird sense of caring! And you know what the funniest thing about this is?! That I’m the asshole who fucked things up! I’m trying to be like we were before and you keep fucking me off! It seems that I’m the only one who cares! You are mad at me and I don’t—”

“I’m mad at you because you kissed that woman!” Castiel yells, interrupting Dean’s words. Dean looks shocked at Cas, blinking perplexed at the confession. “You kissed her!” he repeats with a heartbreaking voice. “And it hurt me, Dean! It hurt me more than you think!”

“What?” Dean asks almost in a whisper. Is he referring to that drunk chick that kissed him at the bar?

“You kissed that girl in that bar and I saw you!” His words leave Dean shocked and hurt. Cas saw him, that’s why he is mad at him? But Dean doesn’t fully understand. “And you know why it hurt me?!” He makes a short pause. “Because I love you, Dean!” At that, Dean opens his eyes widely and Castiel lets out a desperate breathe. “That’s right.” His voice is calmer now, but it is full of pain and it almost sounds ashamed. “I’m in love with you,” he keeps saying and Dean’s heart is going a thousand of miles per hour. “That’s why I’ve been like this! Because you don’t like feelings and you would be so uncomfortable and it will only worsen things! All because I love you and you—”

But Castiel doesn’t finish his sentence because Dean cups Castiel’s face and kisses him. He feels how Cas tenses at first, but relaxes immediately. Dean kisses him like he has been wanting for so many years. His lips are soft and warm and they were clearly made for Dean’s. He feels Cas’ hands on his biceps, pulling him closer. Cas kisses him back, as desperate and needy as Dean, and fuck, it feels even better than any fantasy Dean ever had.

They pull away, only a few inches separate their faces. Their eyes meet and Dean hopes that his eyes can say all those things that are stuck in his throat. By the look Cas is giving him, he doesn’t fully believe what just happened, but then, his hand fists the front of Dean’s Henley’s shirt and pulls him into another kiss.

It is heated and spirited, and it makes wild things to Dean, whose hands are restless on Castiel’s messy, dark hair. Cas’ lips are perfect and Dean doesn’t have any idea how he has spent so long without kissing them. They go kiss after kiss, not caring or knowing when one ends and another starts. It feels really good.

Dean pushes Cas against the nearest wall and kisses him senselessly. Cas freaking moans and his fingers tighten on his scalp and on the small of his back. It doesn’t take too long for Dean to get his tongue inside Cas’ mouth, exploring it hungrily. He feels how Cas shivers and presses his body against Dean closer, removing any tiny inch in between them, and Dean moans when Cas’ tongue swirls with his, his hands holding Cas’ hips tightly, rocking his hips against it. They are so desperate to feel each other. This has been forbidden for the both of them for so long that now, they want everything of it.

Dean is half hard in his boxers from Cas’ maddening rubbings. And he feels that Cas is the same. They need to get into a bedroom now, so Dean pulls away from Cas, who looks at him with a confused look. The two of them are panting and his faces are all flushed, and in Dean’s opinion, Cas looks really good like this. He grabs Castiel’s hand, an action that brings Castiel’s attention. Dean presses a brief kiss on his swollen lips and then, Dean starts to walk, pulling Castiel after him. He walks as fast as possible, almost running, until they arrive to Dean’s bedroom. The moment they are inside and the lights are on, Dean goes back to kiss Castiel.

It doesn’t take them too long to drop onto the bed, Cas being the one whose back is pressed against the mattress and Dean being on top of him. They don’t stop kissing the whole time, their restless hands touching everywhere. Still, their clothes are in between them, and Dean really needs to feel Cas on his skin, with nothing in between. He takes off his Henley’s shirt, stopping the kiss for a moment. Cas’ eyes go wide when Dean’s torso is revealed, and his hand touches Dean’s chest, the touch making Dean gasp. His hand is warm and gentle against his skin.

Dean grabs Cas’ hand and leans to kiss him before he takes off Castiel’s Henley’s shirt. Dean’s hands trace down Cas’ chest, feeling the shape of his muscles under his heated skin. Cas gasps at the touch and he brings Dean’s mouth to his and they kiss.

Suddenly, Castiel places his hand on Dean’s chest pulling him away, just a few inches, but Dean panics a little at that. “Dean,” Castiel says with a hoarse voice and panting. His eyes are lacking of doubt, instead, need and desire are the things Dean can see in them. “I don’t want this to be meaningless.”

Dean’s hand comes to hold Castiel’s and he squeezes it tenderly. “Nothing has ever been meaningless with you, Cas.”

The way Castiel looks at him after those words makes Dean feel loved. Cas is immediately kissing Dean again, saying with that kiss so many things, and fuck, Dean can understand all of that.

Cas gets his tongue inside Dean’s mouth, which makes Dean moan. The bastard learns really fast and Dean adores it. And he is even rocking his hips needy, asking for more, and Dean doesn’t need to be asked twice, so his hands trace down Castiel’s sides, until they find his pajama’s pants. Then Cas is the one to take off Dean’s. And it goes like that with their underwear.

The moment the two of them are completely naked, Dean makes a pause on kissing Castiel in order to look at his naked body. He is beautiful, really beautiful. Every inch of his body is perfect. When he looks back to Cas, he catches him doing the same thing; he is also admiring Dean’s body. He notices that Dean is looking at him, at he looks back at Dean’s eyes, blushing. Dean smiles and kisses Cas, feeling a tiny smile forming on his lips as well, and Dean can’t tell how happy he is to finally know what it feels like to kiss Cas’ smile.

It is finally skin against skin, and it feels so fucking good. Their hands keep tracing down each other’s bodies, which can’t be still; they are all the time rocking. Their hard cocks are rubbing together, a feeling that has both of them moaning, and Dean decides to use his hand to stroke both cocks. The moan Castiel lets out is delicious, and the way he closes his eyes and bites his lip is wonderful. Dean moans and rocks his hips, pressing his forehead against Cas’. He lets out a gasp when he feels Cas’ hand joining his, doing the same movement. It leaves Dean trembling and moaning desperately. It is good, really good.

A few more strokes and Dean pulls their hands away, making Cas grunt, but Dean shushes him with kisses. The first one goes to his lips, but the following ones go the way up to the skin behind Cas’ ear, and Dean is pleased to find that spot leaves Cas breathless and arching his back.

While he kisses Cas, with one of his hands, he looks into the drawer for condoms and lube. He knows that both of them want and need this, and although Dean would love to take more time to kiss every inch of that glorious body, he knows that they won’t last too much. So Dean hurries up to put on the condom, stopping his kisses, and he starts to apply the lube on his hands and cock.

He doesn’t miss how Cas looks at him the whole time. His beautiful blue eyes are a tiny circle around a dilated pupil, yelling the desire, the passion, the need and the want that Dean also feels.

Once Dean has the lube warmed up on his fingers, he leans onto Cas, kissing him tenderly. He looks at him, and he gets one of his fingers inside his really tight hole. Cas gasps, clearly not expecting that feeling. Dean has fingered himself a couple of times, and he knows that the first time you feel a finger inside yourself feels different, but nothing bad. When the second finger gets in, Cas moans, his breathing turning into panting, fucking into them.

Dean opens him up gently, not wanting to hurt Cas. He is really warm and tight, and it makes his cock twitch with it. He gets another finger inside Castiel, and he moans a bit louder. Dean grins and kisses his chest. His other hand caresses Castiel’s nipple, and it has Cas rocking his body and gasping. Dean gets in his fourth finger and this time, he touches Cas’ prostate, earning him a loud and marvelous moan that escapes from Castiel’s lips, his hips bucking quite high.

He scissors his fingers, until he can feel that Cas is quite loose. Dean gets his fingers out, which makes Castiel groan. Dean kisses him immediately as he cleans his hand on the sheets, they will change the sheets tomorrow anyway. As they kiss, Dean starts to get his cock inside Cas, who moves away his lips from Dean’s to make a moan. His legs are around Dean’s hips, his heels pressing on Dean’s skin and his nails are clawing Dean’s blades.

When Dean’s cock is fully settled in, Dean lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. The same happens with Cas. They look at each other for the small time Dean stays still inside Cas. The way they are staring into each other’s eyes feels as if they were trying to make sure that this is really happening. One of Cas’ hands comes to cup Dean’s cheeks, making Dean shiver and lean into the touch. Cas kisses him sweetly and tenderly, and Dean hums into it. When they pull away, Dean cups Cas’ face, feeling the stubble on his palms. He presses a quick, sweet kiss on those perfect lips and he starts to move.

Cas is really tight and warm around Dean’s cock and it is maddening. Dean fucks him with steady thrusts that leave Cas gasping and moaning, his limbs tightening around Dean, pulling him closer. He moans Dean’s name and it is just fucking awesome.

He keeps fucking Cas, getting his cock in and out of Cas, loving every face and sound he makes. He kisses Cas whenever he can, until one of them has to moan. They keep rocking their hips, colliding once in a while, but they have found a wonderful and maddening rhythm that makes Dean’s hips go faster.

His whole body trembles every time that Cas clenches around him. That tightness and warmth is so addicting and it leaves Dean breathless and it turns him into a mess of moans and pants, just how Cas is. He presses their foreheads together; his hands are restless on Cas’ body, touching his arms, his sides, his thighs, his face, his hair, everything he can reach. Cas’ hands switch from Dean’s hair to his back to his ass, wanting to touch everywhere, and damn it, it feels too damn good to feel the touch everywhere as they fuck.

“Fuck, Cas—” Dean moans when Cas clenches really tight around him that both of their bodies tremble together. Dean isn’t sure how they are even breathing.

“Dean— Dean—” Castiel moans. It is the only word he can say, and it is perfect.

Whenever Dean’s cock hits that sweet spot, Cas arches his back and his moan is the loudest and most obscene thing Dean has ever heard. They are a mess of moans, pants and sweating bodies, but it is perfect. They keep rocking their bodies, Cas fucking into Dean’s cock needy and desperate, and Dean fucking him in the same way. It feels as if their bodies were meant for each other, sliding and grinding together, giving and receiving in a perfect match.

Dean’s cock is twitching, wanting to come, and he can feel on his belly that Cas is the same, so Dean gets one of his hands on Cas’ cock and starts to stroke it, increasing the volume of Cas’ moans. Dean has to admit that they have lasted a little bit longer than he expected, but not so much. It isn’t a surprise; this is the second time Cas has sex in his life and Dean hasn’t had sex in almost two years. After wanting to have this for so long and finally doing it, it was predictable that they would come quite soon.

Cas comes easily and with a loud moan that makes Dean moan, because Cas is coming because of him. A couple of seconds later, Dean is coming too, feeling the wonderful orgasm hitting in his body, leaving him boneless, breathless and with stars crashing behind his eyeballs. His whole body collapses onto Cas, who is in the same condition as Dean.

Dean gets out of Cas and he rolls to the free spot of his bed, lying next to Cas. He takes off the condom and he throws it to the bin. They should clean the mess of Cas’ come on their bellies, but it means getting up from bed and looking for something, and Dean knows that no one of them is going to do that. They haven’t even recovered their breaths yet.

“This was—” Dean starts to say panting.

“Awesome,” Castiel finishes, also panting.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas, who is grinning. “Yeah.” He finds himself grinning like the ex-angel. The afterglow has always felt good for Dean, but this time it feels better than ever. “Cas.”

Castiel turns his face to look directly at Dean’s eyes. He is really flushed and sweaty. Some hair is stuck to his forehead, and he looks extremely gorgeous. “Yes, Dean?”

“You know that I—” Dean starts to say. Why can’t he say that word? He exhales frustrated and he moves his hand to gesture what he tries to say. “That I do too, right? That I—”

“That you love me?” Castiel asks with a pretty smile. Dean takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He can’t even say it. Cas fucking said it and Dean can’t say that word. He hears Cas rolling, until he is lying aside, pressing his chest against Dean’s arm, and Dean opens his eyes, seeing that Cas is really close. “Yes, Dean, I know that you love me.”

Dean lets out a relieved sigh and he immediately moves his right arm away, ending around Cas, pulling him until his chest is pressed against Dean’s side. “You do?” he asks with a trembling voice. His hand ends up on the small of Cas’ back, his fingers brushing Cas’ hipbone. “Because I didn’t even say it, I can’t even say it, and—” He doesn’t finish his sentence because Cas is kissing him tenderly. His kisses feel too damn good.

“Dean,” Cas starts to say. Their noses are brushing, and it feels really good to have him this close, to feel him everywhere. One of Cas’ hands starts to stroke Dean’s chest, slowly and sweetly. “I know it. After what has happened tonight, I know.” Now his hand goes to Dean’s cheek, cupping his face, moving it so their eyes can meet perfectly. “Your eyes have been telling me that since you kissed me. They aren’t hiding it anymore.”

“Geez, you are such a sap.”

Castiel laughs and Dean has to kiss him. He can’t tell the exact number of times he has wished to kiss him whenever he laughed, smiled or chuckled. Now he can, and he knows he is going to kiss him whenever he does any of those things.

Dean’s thumb caresses Cas’ lower lip, swollen from all the kissing and left with some saliva. Cas presses a brief kiss on the pad of his thumb that makes Dean smile. “So, you know it, right?” Dean asks again.

“Yes, Dean, I know it,” Castiel murmurs. He grabs Dean’s hand and he kisses the back of it. “Just because you don’t say that word, it doesn’t mean you don’t feel it.” His palm finds Dean’s and they hold their hands, and Dean watches the whole motion, squeezing gently Castiel’s once their fingers are tangled. “I know that you don’t do feelings.”

“I might do them with you.”

Castiel smiles. “That’s really nice.”

“And cheesy.” He smiles nervously and kisses Cas, who hums in the kiss.

“Are you going to kiss me every time I smile?” he asks with a smirk.

“Oh yeah. Do you have a problem with that?” he says cockily and arching a brow. He is also leaning on Cas’ lips, but he is just brushing them.

“Not at all. I even encourage it,” he whispers. Both of them smile and this time Cas is the first one to initiate the kiss. “What I was trying to say,” he says once they have stopped. “It’s that I know that you have a hard time with feelings, especially expressing them with words.” He starts to comb Dean’s hair and Dean closes his eyes, enjoying the feeling of it, pressing Cas tighter against his body and enjoying the sound of his voice. “But you are good at saying those things with your eyes and acts.”

Dean chuckles at that. He feels relieved after knowing that Cas knows and understands. He opens his eyes and kisses Cas’ forehead. With his thumb, he makes soothing strokes on Cas’ skin. “It’s great to hear that.”

Castiel nuzzles his neck and presses a kiss on Dean’s shoulder. He snuggles on Dean, tangling one of his legs with Dean’s, which makes Dean smile. He also places his hand back to Dean’s torso, stroking soothingly his chest.

There’s a small silence in between them. Dean really enjoys cuddling with Cas. It feels so nice and natural. He looks at Cas and smiles, because it is awesome that they can be like this after so long.

“Cas,” Dean says. Castiel hums and he tilts his head up to look at Dean. “This week you’ve been mad at me because of a kiss?”

Castiel flushes embarrassedly. “Yes,” he answers sighing. “I behaved like an idiot.”

“More like an asshole,” he rectifies. Castiel glares him and kicks his leg. Dean grunts and laughs. “I’m just telling the truth.”

Cas makes a defeated pout and he places his head under Dean’s chin. “I was really hurt, Dean. And I thought that if I explained you what happened to me, I thought that you were going to be even madder,” he explains with a sad voice. Dean strokes Cas’ back soothingly, trying to calm him down, something that seems to help Castiel. “So I tried to keep our distances until I felt better. I know it was stupid, but I thought that it would work.”

“Well, what that lead to was to a fight. And to finally acknowledge each other’s feelings and have awesome sex.”

Castiel laughs and Dean can feel it on his skin, caressing it in a wonderful way. “It didn’t go that bad, then.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t like that you were avoiding me.”

“I know.” He moves his head to look at Dean’s eyes. “I’m sorry for that. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“I know, Cas.” He kisses him sweetly. “And I didn’t kiss her,” he says. Castiel frowns at that. “She was drunk and she kissed me, and it surprised me. I mean, it had been years since I last kissed someone that I just shocked at first.”

“Oh.” He makes a shocked face.

“Oh?” he repeats sassily. “That’s all you got to say about that?” He makes an acid laugh and Castiel bites his lip guiltily. He is about to say something, but Dean keeps talking, “Yeah, I know you didn’t have any idea about it.”

“I overreacted, then. Dean—”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Dean says cupping his cheek and caressing it. “You were hurt and I get it. Now we’re here and everything’s good, that’s what matters, right?”

“Right.” He kisses Dean tenderly and slowly, taking his time to taste Dean’s lips. Dean really likes those kisses. Actually, he really likes any kiss Cas gives him. They are all really good.

When they pull away, Cas rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder and he is back to stroke Dean’s chest; he seems to enjoy it, not that Dean has a complaint about it, he really likes it. He pulls Cas a little closer, even if there isn’t any inch left in between them already. This was something that Dean thought he would never have, and here they are now. How many times has Dean dreamt about this?

That question brings another that he has to let out. “For how long have you been—?” he starts to ask. Again, he uses his other hand to gesture the word he can’t say.

Thankfully, Cas understands what he means. “I think I fell in love with you since the first time I saw your soul, back in hell.”

His green eyes open widely in shock at that. “For that long?”

Castiel nods. “But I didn’t know at that time that I was in love with you,” he explains. His fingers are now doing doodles on Dean’s chest along with his words. “Your soul was beautiful and so bright. Even if it was tearing apart in hell, it was beautiful and stunning, so full of life and fighting against the darkness that wanted to take over it.” His voice is full of emotion and Dean listens carefully as he watches Cas’ face. “And when I put it back together, it was even more beautiful, brighter and I just—” He smiles against Dean’s skin. “I don’t know when I exactly acknowledged that what I was feeling for you was love, it just happened someday. You were so different from any other human, from any other soul that you got under my skin easily and without noticing it.” He kisses Dean’s collarbone after his words.

“That was—”

“Sappy?” he sasses looking at Dean with an arched brow.

“Yeah.” He chuckles and Castiel rolls his eyes. “But kind of nice too.”

The smile Castiel makes is all fondness. He props on his elbow, resting his cheek on his hand. “What about you? When did you start to love me?”

Dean makes a thoughtful grin. “I’m not sure. I think I started to feel something that time when I met Chuck and you helped me to stop Sam from fighting Lilith. But I just thought it wasn’t important.” He makes a guilty pout and looks at Cas. The flush of his face is gone, but his hair is still stuck on his forehead. Dean has always thought Cas was pretty, but now he can see how truly gorgeous he is. “I think that the moment when I finally thought, holy shit, I have feelings for Cas, was when I got back from the future and you rescued me from Zachariah.”

“I remember that,” he says with a pretty smile. Dean mirrors it. “And why didn’t you tell me what you felt about me?”

Dean exhales sharply. “It was never the time or the place, Cas,” he starts to explain. “There was always something in between. Apocalypse, your deal with Crowley, leviathans, Naomi, the Mark of Cain, the Darkness… It felt like a lost chance, y’know? And also I didn’t know how to sort this thing and I’m a complete mess and—” Dean takes a deep breath and rubs his eyes. He looks up, trying to find the right words. “It came a time when—” He takes another deep breath and he searches Cas’ hand on his chest, holding it, feeling how their fingers tangle. He isn’t going to tell him that he always thought that he wasn’t good enough for Cas, because he knows the ex-angel will complain, but still, he tells him the rest of the truth. “It seemed that we lost our chance, it was like we weren’t gonna get this. And you were always leaving too, and I just thought that it was better to not say a word. I really thought that you didn’t feel like I felt, so—”

“I rebelled for you, I gave an entire army for you, I fell for you, I died for you. Everything has always been for you, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know. But you always left.” The words taste bitter in Dean’s mouth.

“Because I thought you didn’t want me here,” he murmurs sadly, resting his head on the pillow, leaving a couple of inches from Dean’s face.

“I have always wanted you here with me.” That’s everything Dean has wanted for so long. There was a time when the only thing he wanted was that Cas stayed with him, even if Dean was willing to be something more than friends. But Cas living in the bunker, Cas staying was what Dean most truly wanted. He sighs and moves his hand to pinch the bridge of his nose.

There are more reasons about why Dean didn’t tell Cas. Like how Cas deserves better, how Dean behaved like a douche to him since angels felt, how he is scared of losing Cas because Dean is the biggest jerk in the world… But he can’t find the way to speak up all his worries.

Castiel takes a deep breath. His fingers are where Dean’s tattoo is, right where his heart is. His blue eyes are looking at that spot. “We are terrible at communicating.”

“Yeah, we are.” Dean chuckles bitterly.

“We are now communicating.” He points with a charming smile. “Are you always this talkative after sex?” He makes that cute, shy face of his that Dean finds adorable.

“I don’t know. You should check it out next time,” he answers wiggling his eyebrows. And Cas makes a beautiful smile and kisses him.

“Assbutt,” he whispers into Dean’s mouth.

“I can't believe you actually understood that,” he says sarcastically. His words earn him a punch and a glare which make Dean chuckle. Castiel rolls his eyes but he smiles. “Maybe it was about damn time I said all those things, don’t you think?” At that, Castiel hums in agreement. “I was thinking on telling you, you know?”

“Were you?” he asks surprised. Dean nods. “When?”

“I was gonna kiss you in New Year and tell you,” he explains with an obvious face.

Castiel makes a guilty face. “I’m so sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t worry.” He presses a sweet kiss on his lips. He knows why Cas is apologizing, but that day is gone, and Dean is happy to be right now with Cas like this.

“That’s why you were nervous that night?” Dean’s answer to that is another nod. “I definitely screwed everything up.” He rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder and closes his eyes. “I’m terribly sorry, Dean.”

“Cas, don’t apologize. It wasn’t your fault; it was that drunk chick’s fault.” He has been mad at Cas, but he knows that if he saw someone kissing Cas, Dean’s reaction would have been worse. And instead of avoiding Cas, he would have snapped him all the time and ignored him. “Besides, my plan was really cliché and kind of cheesy.” He rubs his eyes and chuckles bitterly. “But I wanted to start things right, you know? I wanted to take you out on a date and take things nice and slow, but I guess that we don’t work that way, don’t we? Everything between us is complicated and messy and fuck I just—” He takes a deep breath and when he pulls his hand away from his eyes he sees that Cas is staring at him. “I don’t want to fuck things up, Cas. I want to be with you and I want things to be good.”

“I want that too, Dean.” He leans to kiss Dean slowly and gently, making little moans in the kiss. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m really happy with what happened tonight. Except the fight.”

“Yeah, obviously,” he says with a grimace and Castiel rolls his eyes. Dean smiles. “But the rest was awesome.”

“And considering that the first time you saw me, you shot me and stabbed me,” he says with a sassy voice and smirk. “This has gone better than that.”

Dean bursts into laughter and he immediately kisses Cas, burying his fingers in that dark mess he calls hair. When they pull away, Dean looks at him, saying with his eyes the words he can’t manage to say out loud, but Cas can read them in his eyes. His fingers caress Cas’ temple, and Castiel closes his eyes and leans into his touch. Then, he rests his face on the pillow, as close as he can from Dean’s, his arm spreading across Dean’s chest.

“Dean,” Castiel murmurs.

“Yeah?”

“I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a date,” he whispers shyly, and Dean has to look at him because he looks so cute right now. “If you want to.”

“Then, we would go on a date. I want it too.” He caresses Castiel’s shoulder and he presses a kiss on his forehead. “I think we should better sleep, don’t you think?”

Castiel hums in agreement, so Dean switches off the lights and with the help of Cas, they pull the sheet and the quilt up, until both things reach their shoulders. Castiel snuggles on Dean, and Dean gladly tightens Cas in his arms. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Dean has never fallen asleep as easy and as happy as tonight.

 

_____

 

If sleeping with Cas felt awesome, waking up and finding him by his side, it feels even better. And even if Cas isn’t a morning person, when Dean kisses him as a good morning, he is all smiles.

“Thought you weren’t a morning person,” Dean whispers into Castiel’s mouth before he goes for another kiss. Cas’ kisses are really addicting.

“Guess all I needed was you,” Castiel says with a beautiful grin. He also goes for another kiss. Apparently he loves kissing Dean as much as Dean does kissing Cas.

“Fuck, you’re really a sap.” He is surprised to find that side of Cas. Also Cas didn’t know about Dean being talkative after sex, which is something that Dean has only did with people that weren’t one night stands. They still have to know some things about each other that they don’t know yet, and Dean is really happy when he thinks about discovering things together. “You wanna take a shower with me and then we have breakfast?”

“Sounds like a good idea.”

“Good,” Dean says getting up. Cas does the same and Dean looks at him, being gorgeously naked. Castiel doesn’t miss the way Dean looks at him and he makes the squinty look along with the tilt of his head to one side. Dean smiles before he speaks, “You are gorgeous.”

Castiel blushes and chuckles. “Thanks,” he says timidly. “And you are beautiful.”

Now it is time for Dean to blush. “You’re the worst.” He starts to remove the sheets from the bed with Cas’ help.

“It is the truth. You are really beautiful, Dean,” he keeps saying and Dean keeps getting more flushed. “And I really love your freckles,” he adds and Dean arches one eyebrow. “I was really glad to find out that you have freckles _everywhere_ ,” he marks the last word, his eyes darting to Dean’s cock.

Dean chuckles and walks towards Cas. When they are standing in front of each other, Dean uses the sheet to wrap it around them. “Were you?” he asks teasingly. “Have you been thinking about my cock, Cas?” He presses himself against Cas once the sheet covers them from waist down. Castiel bites his lower lip and blushes, which means that he did think about it. “Didn’t know you had dirty thoughts about me.”

“It was just curiosity,” Castiel says sassily.

Dean grins and lets out a laugh. “Yeah, curiosity.” He pouts and arches his eyebrows. Castiel makes a cute frustrated smile and then he wraps his arms around Dean’s neck, drawing him closer to kiss him passionately, making Dean’s knees go weak.

“And I bet you thought about mine,” he says snarky.

“Oh, you have no idea,” he says, making Cas laugh, and they kiss again.

“Weren’t we going to take a shower?” he asks in between kisses. Dean makes an affirmative hum. “We are still here.”

Dean kisses Cas. “It’s your fault,” Dean says after it, and then he kisses the ex-angel again. Being able to kiss Cas as much as he is doing, is great. Truth is that this thing he feels about Cas has never been just lust. Dean has wanted to have him in all possible ways. Even if it kind of scared him at first. “You make it so hard for me to stop kissing you.” Again, he kisses Cas.

“So it is only my fault?” His question is full of sass and it leaves Dean smirking. They kiss again, and again, until they decide to stop, because Dean’s stomach growls.

“C’mon, let’s go to the bathroom,” he says holding the sheet in order to not let it drop. They walk awkwardly, taking the small steps the sheet allows them to. Dean opens the bedroom door and they get out and he turns around to close it.

When they turn around to go to the bathroom, they find Sam, looking at them with an arched brow and that sassy face of his. “Good morning, guys,” Sam says with a wide smirk, clearly delighted to find them together.

“Good morning, Sam,” Dean and Castiel say at the same time.

“So,” he starts to say, sounding really sassy but happy. “You two finally…?” He moves his index fingers, pressing them together, still arching one eyebrow.

“Yes, we are,” Castiel answers timidly and happily.

“Yeah, we are together,” Dean explains. Castiel looks at him with one of his fondest looks and a beautiful smile.

Sam makes an impressed face. “I’m gonna call Charlie because she owns me one hundred bucks.” And he walks to the opposite direction, leaving Dean and Castiel perplexed. Did they actually bet when Dean and Cas were going to get together? “And it was about damn time!” Sam yells really happy.

“He is right,” Castiel says before kissing Dean’s freckled shoulder.

Dean would normally glare at his brother or say something back, but instead of that, he looks at Cas and smiles. “Yeah, he is.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

“Seriously?” Dean asks a bit pissed off and glaring at his brother, who has just taken a picture of him.

“It’s the first time I see you dressed like this,” Sam says with a wide smirk and a sassy face. “Dean Winchester has dressed up nicely for a date.”

“Shut up.” Dean rolls his eyes and makes a bitter chuckle. He is wearing a black blazer, an elegant dark grey t-shirt, some nice and new jeans and shoes. He and Cas are going to have dinner on an expensive and elegant Italian restaurant, so they have to dress up in a neat way.

They could go to any dinner, but Dean wants this to be special. It’s their first date, and he wants it to be really nice, especially for Cas. It is incredible how things have changed. If the Dean from fifteen years ago saw this, he wouldn’t believe it. But Dean likes this. He might feel more comfortable in a less elegant place where he could wear his boots and a plaid shirt, but this doesn’t feel as terrible as he thought. After all, he is going to be with Cas, and that’s a really good thing.

“Are you nervous?” Sam asks with enthusiasm. He has been really glad and happy about Dean and Cas being finally together.

“A bit,” Dean confesses with a grin, wiping his sweaty hands on his jeans. “Though we already did the difficult part,” he adds with a pout. Letting each other know what they felt about was the hardest part and they already did it. Still, Dean is really nervous. It is just a date; he and Cas alone having dinner. Dates are overrated in Dean’s opinion, and yet, he wants to do this, to know what it is like to have a date with his ex-angel of the lord.

“I’m proud of you two being serious about this,” Sam says with a grin and Dean dedicates him a bitchface. “Don’t give me that look. I’m just saying the truth.”

Dean huffs a sarcastic laugh. Then, he grabs his phone at looks at the time. “What the hell is it taking him so long?”

“You told him he had to dress in an elegant way. He is probably trying to find something to wear.”

Dean makes an agreement pout. Maybe Cas is trying to find something suitable for tonight. Dean hopes it doesn’t take him too long because he booked a table within half an hour, and if Cas is going to delay for more, they might not get in time unless Dean drives off limits.

But then, Cas shows up and Dean’s heart sinks as his mouth goes suddenly dry. He looks stunningly gorgeous. He is wearing a blazer, a pretty light blue shirt, tight, black jeans that perfectly mark his wonderful thighs and shoes. Dean immediately stands up from the table and he approaches Cas.

“I don’t know if this is appropriate to—” Castiel starts to say but he can’t finish the sentence because Dean fists the front of his shirt and kisses him passionately. He feels how Cas shocks at first and how his knees seem to go weak, but he is soon kissing him back, making those wonderful little moans and running his hand on Dean’s hair.

Sam clears his throat, but neither of them pays him any attention. “You look awesome,” Dean says when they pull away, loving the way Cas’ eyes shine brightly and the pretty pink shade of his flush that has appeared.

“Thank you. You too.” He makes a beautiful smile.

Dean grabs Cas’ hand and he holds it. Their fingers slide together in perfect coordination, as if they had been doing this for all their life. “Don’t wait up for us, Sammy,” Dean says looking at his brother, who still has that happy smirk on his face.

“I wasn’t going to,” Sam says chuckling. “Have fun, guys.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Castiel says before they walk away from the library room, heading towards the garage.

 

_____

 

Dean parks the Impala and he looks at Cas, sitting on the passenger’s seat. When the blue eyed man notices Dean’s eyes on him, he turns his face to look at his eyes. “What?” Castiel asks with his typical innocence.

“Nothing. I just—” Dean takes a deep breath and smiles.

Cas immediately reaches his hand and with his thumb he caresses it. “Are you sure you want to have dinner in here? I would be as happy as I am if we went to a regular diner. I know this kind of place isn’t very comfortable for you.” It still surprises Dean how Cas simply knows it. It has been just four days since they got together and Cas has shown that he knows what Dean needs or thinks. Dean thinks it must be because all the walls he built around himself to avoid Cas to see what he truly felt are now demolished, still, it surprises him how Cas can read him easily.

“I’m fine, Cas. Besides, I’ve heard food’s really awesome here,” he says, trying to sound calm. He isn’t lying. He is nervous, but he doesn’t exactly know why. Cas and he are together, that was the scary step that they had to take and they took it. So why does he worry about? He looks at Cas’ hand on top of his and he smiles. He looks at Cas after that and his smiles gets bigger, calming himself. “Let’s go.”

They get off the car and they get into the restaurant. Dean is glad to see that even if it is a really elegant restaurant it isn’t extremely marked. The people that are sitting on the tables are dressed nicely, but not with expensive suits or stunning dresses, they are dressing like Dean and Castiel, some of them a bit more casual, but not too much, and Dean is relieved by that.

“Buonanotte,” The maître says.

“Buonanotte,” Castiel says with a perfect Italian accent that makes Dean turn his face in surprise. “We booked a table. Under the name Winchester.”

“Dean Winchester?”

“Yeah,” Dean says nodding.

“If you may follow me, gentlemen.” This must be the first time that somebody refers to Dean and Castiel as gentlemen. Dean finds it really odd.

They are seated on a table with two really comfortable chairs. They are sitting beside each other and Dean smiles at Cas before the maître hands them the menu. Then, he leaves, leaving Cas and Dean alone to decide what they are going to order.

“Do you speak Italian?” Dean asks curious.

“I speak almost every language spoken on Earth, Dean,” Castiel answers casually. “Every angel knows how to speak in every language. Another very different thing is to speak with the accurate accent.”

Dean makes an impressed face and he can see how Cas blushes slightly. They fall into a comfortable silence while they read the menu. Everything sounds delicious and Dean isn’t sure what he should order. He is still trying to decide when he sees that Cas has already closed the menu, showing that he made up his mind.

“Buonanotte gentlemen,” a pretty brunet says with a charming smile. Dean still feels odd with that word. “May I take your order?”

Castiel looks at Dean, trying to know if he has already decided. “Yeah,” Dean says. “I will have the lasagne alla bolognese.” He reads it on the menu, not missing the cute smile that Cas makes at his terrible attempt at speaking Italian. “Sorry, my Italian is terrible.”

The woman smiles. “Don’t worry, I’ve heard much worse,” she says as she writes down Dean’s order. “And for you sir?”

“I would like the ravioli alla napolitana,” Cas says with a perfect accent.

She writes down Castiel’s order. “Would you like any entrée?”

“What is this pane de pizza?” Dean asks curious.

“It is a really thin pizza dough with tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, oregano and arugula.”

Dean looks at Cas. “Sounds really good, don’t you think?”

Castiel chuckles. “Then, we will have the pane de pizza as well.”

“Perfect,” she says writing down the last order. “And what would the gentlemen like to drink?”

“I would like water.”

“Me too,” Dean says, making Cas frown in confusion.

“Okay. I’ll be right back with your water.”

When she walks away, Castiel leans a little closer. “I thought you were going to order wine.”

“No. I don’t want alcohol tonight,” Dean explains casually. “Besides, I don’t like wine and they don’t have beer.” He shrugs.

The waitress is soon back with the water and she pours it in both glasses. Dean immediately places his hand on top of Cas’, which was resting on the table. Dean looks at their hands, the motion of his thumb caressing Cas’ hand soothingly. “Are you okay, Dean?” Cas asks.

“Yeah, I’m good,” he answers looking at Cas, finding that his blue eyes are filled with worry. “Stop asking me that.”

“It’s the first time I ask you that question,” he sasses with a smirk.

Dean rolls his eyes and chuckles. “I meant all that kind of questions, mister sass.” It makes Castiel make that pretty laugh and Dean decides to give it a brief kiss. Cas’ lips are soft, salty and sweet and really tender, every kiss is awesome, independently of the length and the type; they are always awesome kisses. “I’m feeling really good, Cas,” he murmurs when they pull away.

“Okay.” His other hand comes to rest on top of Dean’s, making Dean’s heart skip a beat. Every time their hands touch it causes him that. He is a big sap. “Why did you want to take us here?” He tilts his head, like he always does when he is confused or feeling curious. “We could have gone somewhere else. I wouldn’t have minded.”

“I wanted something special,” he simply says. Cas gives him that look that means he knows Dean isn’t being completely honest. Dean exhales sharply. “Damn your eyes. It is impossible not to yield to them.” Those baby blues eyes have the ability to get into Dean’s soul. Dean makes a defeated pout. “Remember that I told you I wanted to start things right?” Castiel’s answer is a nod. “This has to do with it.”

Castiel sighs. “Dean,” he starts to say, and Dean knows he wants him to look at his eyes, so Dean does it. “Stop worrying about that. I don’t want you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do or you feel uncomfortable with just because we are together. We are together, and that’s what matters. Starting things right has never worked with us.” He makes a comforting smile, and Dean chuckles; he couldn’t agree more with that. “From now on, don’t do any stuff like this unless you really want it.”

“Jesus, Cas, why do you have to be so fucking awesome? You leave me in a terrible place in this.”

Castiel chuckles. “Because you are an assbutt.” It earns him a little glare from Dean. “Anyway, I meant that. I’m really happy with us just being on the couch watching some movie or just going to the supermarket with you. You know I enjoy our time together.”

Cas’ words warm Dean’s heart, making him smile fondly. “Like I said, you are fucking awesome, Cas.”

“Thank you, Dean,” he says timidly and blushing. The waitress comes with the pane de pizza, and after Dean and Castiel thank her, they taste it. “This is really good,” Castiel says impressed.

“Yeah,” Dean says trying to suppress a moan. “I think we are gonna have to come back here some other day.” It makes Castiel laugh.

 

_____

 

Dinner turns out to be delicious. They even taste each other’s plates, and both of them really like them. Even the dessert is delicious, some profiteroles with hot chocolate. They even paid the bill together, because Cas glared Dean in a too deadly way, telling him that there was no way on earth he was going to let him pay everything. The bill was a bit expensive, but knowing how excellent the food was, the price isn’t that high.

They get out of the restaurant and Dean places his arm around Cas’ shoulders, Castiel immediately leans into the touch and places his hand on the small of Dean’s small back. “It was a lovely dinner, Dean,” Castiel says with a pretty smile.

Dean kisses his temple. “Yeah, it was.” With his hand he rubs Castiel’s shoulder, and those blue eyes meet Dean’s green ones. “I really like you enjoyed it.”

Castiel presses Dean closer and kisses his jaw. “You enjoyed it too, right?”

“Of course, Cas.” He might have felt a bit out of place at first and nervous, but as the night advanced, Dean felt more comfortable and he soon started to enjoy the night thanks to Cas. 

They get in the Impala and Cas sits on the passenger seat, but for Dean, Cas is quite far. The ex-angel turns his face to Dean when he notices the hunter looking at him. “What is it, Dean?”

“You can sit closer, y’know?”

“Wouldn’t it disturb your driving?” he asks with a confused frown.

Dean rolls his eyes and makes a bitter laugh. Cas being Cas. “Just come here, you idiot.” He moves his right arm, indicating Cas to approach him. Cas complies and he sits next to Dean, their bodies pressed together, Dean sliding his arm behind Cas, resting his arm on his shoulder. “Isn’t this better?”

“It is. But I’m still worried about how this would difficult the driving.”

“You are the worst sometimes, Cas,” he says, rolling his eyes as he starts the car.

Cas simply smiles and rests his head on Dean’s shoulder. “And yet, you love me.”

Dean hums and smiles. Yes, he does.

The drive back to the bunker is nice, the two of them sitting like that, not saying much, but it feels really good. Dean drives slower than usually; they don’t have any rush, and the bunker isn’t too far. Still they arrive quite soon, leaving the Impala inside the bunker’s garage.

“I’ve been thinking,” Castiel starts to say as they walk the bunker’s hall that leads them to their bedroom. It sounds awesome that now it is theirs. “That this wasn’t our first date.”

Dean frowns confused at that statement. “This was our first date, Cas.”

“No,” he insists and he stands in front of their bedroom’s door. Dean is still confused. “Our first date was when we went to that bar to find that cupid, when I thought Metatron wanted to close the gates of Heaven.” He plays with the flaps of Dean’s blazer, his fingers brushing Dean’s chest.

“That wasn’t a date, Cas.” Although it felt like it.

“It was definitely a date,” he murmurs with a pretty smile.

Dean chuckles. “And what was our second?”

“When we went to that dinner, the day I called you because Claire disappeared. We were sitting side by side, remember?” Yes, Dean remembers that, and it also felt like a date too. “You even stole my hamburger.”

“You weren’t gonna eat it,” he says grinning and Cas leans to kiss him softly.

“I know what happens on the third date.”

“Have you been watching sitcoms with Sammy?” he sasses. Cas glares him and he starts to kiss the line of his jaw, making Dean close his eyes and moan. “Even if this wasn’t our third date,” Dean says in between moans, pressing his fingers on Castiel’s hips. “I already had this in mind for tonight.” And he feels Castiel’s wide smirk on his skin.

The ex-angel pulls away, grinning widely and even in a naughty way. He sneaks two fingers in the hem of Dean’s jeans and with his other hand, he opens the door, getting both of them inside the bedroom, and he turns on the lights. Dean closes the door behind him, adoring how Cas is handling him. Soon, they are kissing again, Cas’ eager hands caressing Dean, and Dean is reciprocating the motion.

Dean feels how Cas turns them around and drops him onto the mattress. In the blink of an eye, Cas is already on top of him, taking off his blazer and Dean’s while they kiss passionately and eagerly, not caring where the clothes end up. They are not important anyways.

Dean rises, forcing Cas to end up kneeling. As Dean’s hands unbutton Cas’ shirt, his mouth is on Cas’ neck, kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling softly the salty and sensitive skin. It makes Cas gasp and let out desperate moans. His hands can’t stop touching Dean, going from his hair, to his neck, to his back, to his arms and wherever he can reach.

The moment Cas’ chest is freed from that shirt, Dean displaces his mouth from Cas’ neck to his chest, kissing it sweetly, admiring the beauty of it. This time they can relish the moment, not like the first time, when everything happened so fast and so rushed; now they can take their sweet time. That’s why Dean worships with his mouth Cas’ perfect torso, enjoying the sounds the fallen angel makes and how he digs his nails on Dean’s scalp the moment Dean’s tongue licks his nipple. Cas freaking shivers and moans really loud. With his thumb, Dean caresses the other nipple and for a moment Cas seems breathless.

He pulls Dean’s mouth away, and Dean sees that Cas is starting to look like a mess; his face is already flushed and he is panting. “My turn,” he pants as he takes off Dean’s t-shirt and with his hand, he pushes Dean down onto the mattress.

Dean closes his eyes and bites his lower lip as Cas’ mouth kisses and sucks Dean’s neck. His freckled hands trace down the curve of Cas’ spine, getting down to his ass, cupping it and squeezing it, which makes Cas gasp and giggle. Then he gets Dean’s earlobe in between his lips, nibbling it gently with his teeth and Dean moans, because Cas has just found one of his weak spots. He can even feel the satisfactory smirk he makes.

They kiss dirtily, tongues swirling together, making both of them moan. Cas is the first one to pull away and he starts to press kisses on Dean’s chest. He goes to kiss Dean’s nipple, and Dean moans satisfied as he feels Cas’ tongue swirling on his nipple. He goes to the other one and repeats the motions he did on the other, and this time, his hands move down Dean’s sides until they arrive to Dean’s jeans, and he takes them off slowly.

The remaining clothes they are wearing are soon taken off, ending up somewhere onto the floor. They kiss and they touch, rubbing their hard cocks as they rock their hips. “Do you wanna be on top tonight?” Dean asks into Castiel’s lips before he goes back to kiss him.

“Isn’t it clear?” Castiel sasses, and Dean gets Cas’ lower lip in between his lips before nibbling it tenderly.

“Then grab the freaking lube and the condom, because I’m dying for you to fuck me.”

Castiel grins and gives Dean a brief but passionate kiss. He opens the drawer from the bedside table and grabs both things. He puts on the condom and after that, he pours the lube on his hands, looking at it with a weird face before he spreads it on his palms.

“Don’t forget to apply it on your cock, Cas,” Dean says.

“You could do that for me,” Castiel teases, sounding really serious. 

And even if Dean knows Cas is clearly teasing him, he does it, because there is no possible way Dean is going to refuse that. He grabs the lube and applies on his hand, and immediately, he starts to jerk off Cas, who moans needy with every stroke. Dean starts to kiss the skin behind Dean’s earlobe. “Are you sure you wanna tease me with this, Cas?” he says with a sexy voice, never stopping his strokes on Cas’ cock.

Cas inhales sharply and pushes Dean down again, getting one of his fingers inside Dean, who gasps surprised at it. Cas leans onto him and presses their foreheads together, their gazes locked. The second finger comes in easily and Dean gasps and moans. He cleans his hand on the sheet before he embraces Cas’ back. He spreads his legs and rocks his hips, fucking into Cas’ fingers.

It feels better when the third finger joins the other two, and even much better when the fourth gets in. It feels really good and Dean is rocking his hips needy and desperate, moaning really loud every time Cas touches his prostate.

When he is loose, Cas removes his fingers, wiping his hands off on the sheets. He looks at Dean, as if he was asking for permission, and Dean nods and kisses him sweetly. “C’mon, Cas,” Dean says as he places his legs around the small of Castiel’s back.

Cas starts to push in his cock, making Dean gasp because he has never had a cock in him before, and it is very different from four fingers, but it feels really good. Both of them let out a breath that they were holding once Cas is fully settled in. But Cas is panting and shaking a little.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean says cupping his face. The ex-angel leans into the touch. “You good?”

“Yeah,” Castiel answers nodding. He opens his eyes and looks at Dean. “It’s just—” He takes a needy breath and his fingers dig on Dean’s shoulder. “You are really tight and warm. It is overwhelming. It feels really good.”

Dean can’t help chuckling. He kisses Cas’ lips tenderly. “It feels even better when you start moving.” Castiel chuckles too and kisses Dean. His hips start to rock sweetly and both of them have to pull away to let out loud moans. “That’s good, Cas.” Dean breathes out. His hands rest on Cas’ blades. “Really good.”

Cas thrusts in again and Dean moans louder. He feels so full that it is glorious. Cas is filling an emptiness that Dean always felt but he didn’t know it could be removed like this, and it feels really good; it feels awesome. And when Cas’ cock touches that sweet spot, it makes Dean moan harder and louder than in his whole life, it makes him arch his back and curl his toes.

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean moans and groans. He presses their foreheads together, feeling Cas’ raggedy breath caressing his lips. “There— there— Cas!” he moans when Cas’ cock goes directly to that wonderful spot.

“Dean— Dean— Dean—” Castiel moans into his mouth as the speed of his thrusts increase, both of them achieving a wonderful rhythm together. “Dean!” he hisses when Dean grinds on him and clenches around him.

Dean cups Castiel’s face and kisses him needy and passionately, pressing their bodies closer, until all the air is removed and it is just skin against skin, until they can feel each other’s heartbeats. Cas’ hands trace down Dean’s sides, never stopping his steady thrusts. When they pull away to breathe and moan, Dean is left speechless by the way Cas is looking at him; as if he was the only thing in the whole universe, as if he was the worthiest person in the world. And Dean has to close his eyes, because it is too much.

He feels Cas kissing his jaw, then his neck. His thrusts are now sweeter that before, but they are still steady. He even lets out little sweet moans as he kisses Dean, who opens his eyes when he feels Cas’ forehead pressed onto his again. He looks so beautiful, even if he is a mess of moans and pants as Dean is right now.

His thrusts get harder and faster, but they never abandon their sweetness. Dean fucks into that cock because it feels really good. It hits that spot over and over again, making his cock twitch and making him clench around Cas, who moans in that way that drives Dean crazy.

Cas’ hand is soon on Dean’s cock and Dean knows that Cas is in the edge of coming, that’s why he wants Dean to come too. Still, Cas is the first one to come, although Dean doesn’t last too much longer. The ex-angel collapses onto Dean when he felts that Dean has already come, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Dean’s legs slide down from Cas’ waist, feeling sore, but he doesn’t care, because this felt fucking awesome.

Dean isn’t sure how he is still breathing, or how Cas is still breathing, but he feels so alive. Cas is still inside him, and it feels really good. Right now, he doesn’t know where his body ends and where Cas’ begins. It is an awesome feeling.

With his arms, he holds Cas tightly, feeling how their bodies slightly move with every breath they take. Dean finds himself grinning; feeling Cas on top of him, embracing him, the two of them all sweaty, flushed, panting and exhausted; it is something that Dean adores more than words can say. It gives him the sensation that it is only the two of them in the world, and that at this moment, the time has stopped for them.

Dean starts to kiss the top of Cas’ head. “How are you doing?” Dean asks in a whisper.

Cas moves his face to look at Dean before he kisses him slowly and delicately. “Really good,” Castiel answers, a soft grin drawn on his lips. “Exhausted, but really good.” And Dean is really glad about it. “Everything I did was correct and left you satisfied?”

It makes Dean chuckle. “You are such a—” He doesn’t even know how to finish that, so he simply grins and kisses Cas. “That was really awesome, Cas.” He caresses Cas’ long back, loving how he feels the curve and the skin of it. “Isn’t it clear that I really enjoyed this?”

“Just wanted to make sure.” He kisses Dean and pulls away from him. Dean hates how the emptiness reaches him and he grunts. But Cas is soon back lying on top of him, with his face pressed on Dean’s jaw, giving him little kisses as his hand caresses Dean’s side, making Dean hum pleased.

“We should clean, y’know?” he murmurs.

“I don’t want to move,” he murmurs as he snuggles on Dean, pressing himself even closer to Dean. “Besides, we can take a shower together tomorrow when we wake up.”

Dean laughs. “You really like that, huh?” He feels Cas’ smile against his skin.

“I like everything that involves being with you, Dean.”

Naturally, Dean flushes at that comment, and Cas looks at him with that pretty and a bit mischievous smile. “You are a freaking sap, Cas.”

Cas laughs softly and kisses Dean, tenderly, his hand cups Dean’s face, his thumb brushing his cheek. “But you like it. You wouldn’t be blushing if you didn’t.”

He glares Cas, because he would like to disagree with him, but Cas is right. Dean tightens his arms around Cas, pulling him impossibly closer, a movement that makes Cas gasp and then giggle. “I—” He tries to say, but he doesn’t know what to say. Instead he makes a frustrated cute face that makes Cas laugh, and of course, Dean immediately kisses him.

When they pull away, Dean looks at him, telling with his eyes what he can’t manage to express with words. He is really happy, more than he has been in a long time, or never. It’s been less than a week since they got together and Dean feels really happy, and part of him is scared to find out that this happiness won’t last too long. But then, when he sees the way Cas smiles at him, how he looks at him, Dean doesn’t feel that fear. Cas is here, he isn’t going to leave, he isn’t going anywhere, and that’s something extremely relieving.

He starts to caress Cas’ dark messy hair with one of his hands, hearing the soft purr that comes out from the fallen angel. Dean sighs and kisses Cas, taking his time to taste his lips and mouth, feeling how Cas moans and how his fingers dig on his skin. When Dean pulls away, just keeping a few inches in between them, he looks at Cas’ half closed eyes, thinking to himself that Cas was the one who pulled him out of hell and got under his skin the way he did.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?” Castiel asks as he watches Dean grabbing his tool box.

“Yeah, Cas. It’s just a closet,” Dean says with a charming smile. They just arrived from Ikea, because they needed a bigger wardrobe and Dean insisted on buying a new one so their clothes could fit in it perfectly. He didn’t like that Cas had to go to his old bedroom to grab his clothes. Now, this is his bedroom too, and that thought makes Castiel really happy.

“Okay.” He leans to kiss Dean’s cheek, adoring the way Dean closes his eyes and smiles. “You better build a nice closet,” he teases as he presses his chest against Dean’s back, his hands resting on Dean’s belly, a gesture that Dean seems to be really fond on.

Dean turns his face to give him a snarky smile. “You are a dick sometimes, did you know that?”

“I love you too.” He kisses Dean’s lips. He really loves kissing him. Every time they can or want, they kiss. It doesn’t have to be   
on their lips, it can be anywhere, but they always seize any chance to kiss. And Castiel loves it. Being able to kiss Dean whenever he wants is amazing. “And you are a bit of a dick sometimes too.”

Dean chuckles. “How are we even together?”

Castiel sometimes asks himself the same question. Two weeks have passed since that fight when they ended up on bed together and confessing what they felt, but it still feels unreal. He and Dean are together. It is something that Castiel thought he would never experience. And he is glad to know that he was wrong.

“I simply saved your ass from hell,” Castiel finally answers with determination and cockiness, knowing how much Dean enjoys whenever they are like this.

Truth is that Castiel enjoys it too. Maybe when he was an angel, way back before he fell for the first time, he wouldn’t have understood why a couple teasing each other could be so fun, but so many things have changed since then, and he is glad of how he has improved with some social aspects.

Dean turns around to face him. “You are so cocky today.” His hands find their way to Castiel’s ass, squeezing his cheeks and pulling Castiel closer as he smirks. Castiel can’t help giggling and it makes Dean kiss him fervently.

“Weren’t you going to start building the closet?” Castiel asks once they are no longer kissing.

“I’ve got a really good distraction,” he murmurs before getting Castiel’s lower lip in between his, playing with it softly. Castiel cups his face and kisses him properly, pressing their chests together, tasting Dean’s mouth until both of them are breathless.  
“Then, this distraction is going to leave before we end up naked on bed.” He chuckles and walks away.

“You make it sound as if it was a terrible thing,” he protests, mockingly.

“It’s definitely not.” He shoots him a wide grin before he steps out of the bedroom.

“Hey, Cas!” Dean yells poking out of the door. “Can you bring me some water?”

“Sure.”

He walks towards the kitchen, going through the long hall. It is strange how this building has become his home so easily, how most of these walls have memories of Castiel. And the most amazing thing about this place is that there are still so many different things to live, so many memories waiting to be built.

Once he is in the kitchen, he finds Sam there, having some sandwich. “Has he already started?” Sam asks curious.

“He is about to,” Castiel answers as he opens the fridge’s door and grabs a bottle of water. “He’s been distracted.” Sam chuckles at that. He clearly knows what Castiel means. “I’m going to bring him this,” he explains as he shows the younger Winchester the bottle. Sam simply nods.

Castiel walks back to their bedroom. It still gives him a heartwarming feeling every time he thinks that it is theirs. Things happened so suddenly and so fast that he sometimes needs time to assimilate everything. He never expected any of this to happen, and now it is happening and he is overwhelmingly happy. He and Dean are together, and that’s wonderful.

When he arrives to their bedroom, he gives Dean the water. “Thanks,” Dean says and he fists the front of Cas’ shirt to give him a tender kiss. “That’s the last one, I promise.”

“That’s the last one because I’m walking out of here.” He gives Dean a serious frown that makes Dean grin. 

Castiel gets back to the kitchen to get himself a tea. Sam is still there, sitting around the kitchen’s table.

“Have you noticed he is drinking less?” Sam asks once Cas is in there.

“Yes, I have,” he answers as he opens the cupboard to grab his tea. Dean still drinks beer, but only when he feels like it, but he has decreased his drinking. Castiel doesn’t know why exactly. Dean has always used alcohol to drown his pain and sorrows. Truth is that once he got rid of the Mark, he started to drink less, but now, it is strange to see him drinking.

“I think it is because of you,” Sam says with a moved voice. Castiel turns to look at him and he sees his friend smiling. Castiel looks at him perplexed. “You make him really happy, Cas.” It makes Castiel blush and he feels shy. “It’s great to see you two happy, after all this time.”

Castiel chuckles. “Yes, it is.” He grabs the kettle and fills it with water before putting it on the stove. “I’m really happy.” Dean makes him really happy, more than he could ever imagine. There is a small silence in between them as Castiel grabs his mug and puts the tea inside it. “Charlie is coming for Dean’s birthday, right?”

“Yeah she is,” Sam answers. “She is also willing to make sure that you two are actually dating.”

Castiel turns around to look at Sam. “I still can’t believe that you two had a bet about when Dean and I were going to be together.”

“Even you two were famous in hell, Cas.” Sam smirks. Castiel rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Even when Bobby was still alive, we had a bet.” At that revelation, Castiel looks at Sam surprised. “You two have always been pretty obvious.”

He can’t argue that. He knows for sure that all Heaven knew about his feelings for Dean. And he suspects that even in hell they knew it. Even their friends knew it. The only person who didn’t know, was Dean. But he is really glad and relieved that that changed.

“Have you thought about doing something special for Dean’s birthday?” He hasn’t celebrated a birthday before, and he isn’t sure what they can do for Dean’s birthday, but he wants Dean to have a proper birthday.

“Just some ideas,” he starts to say. “The main thing is to give him a pie instead of a cake.”

“I already suspected that.” Castiel chuckles. The kettle starts to make that screaming sound and Castiel moves it away from the stove, pouring the boiling water in the mug. “We could bake him one.”

“Cas, he is an expert on pies, and the three of us are terrible cooks.” As Sam talks, Castiel walks towards the chair that it is on the other end on the table, sitting in front of Sam. “You really want to make a disaster of a pie and give it to Dean?”

“We could buy one, just in case,” he explains. The smell coming from the tea reaches his nose. It is a smell he finds very pleasing. “But I think that if we made a pie for Dean, he would love it. He would laugh at us, but he would really enjoy it.”

Sam chuckles. “You are right.” He finishes the remaining of his sandwich and makes a thoughtful face. “I still have to buy him something.”

“Me too.” He has thought about some gifts, but he still has to go to the mall and buy something.

“Do you wanna go to the mall now and buy him something?” Sam suggests casually. “We can tell him we are going to buy some seeds for the greenhouse. He is busy with the closet, so I think we should seize the moment.”

“I think it is a good idea,” he says with a tiny smile. “Once I finish my tea, we will go.” He takes a long sip of the hot beverage, enjoying how the smell gets more intense and how it tastes. “Does it take too long to build a closet?”

“Not much. And Dean is really good at woodwork.”

“Is he?”

“Yeah,” he says proudly and happily. “I remember one time when we were in a motel, playing tag, running all over the room, and I don’t know how, but I broke a chair. Dad was out, hunting I don’t know what, so we were alone, but we knew that he would be pissed when he came back and saw the broken chair.” He sounds nostalgic but happy, and Castiel is soon wrapped by the memory. “So Dean grabbed the first things he saw, scissors, chewing gum and forks and he fixed the chair.”

Castiel scowls at Sam. “Really?”

“Really.” Sam chuckles. “Dad didn’t notice. I remember that when he came back, he sat on that chair and I was really nervous, because I was thinking the chair would break again and dad would fall onto the floor, but the chair kept together.”

He can’t help smiling at that. Imagining Dean being a little kid and fixing the chair brings happy feelings to him.

Once Castiel finishes his tea, he and Sam walk towards Dean and Castiel’s bedroom. Dean is kneeling on the floor screwing what will become the drawers. He looks really good with his hair ruffled and with that t-shirt that marks the shapes of his perfect body.

“How are you doing?” Sam asks as he leans on the doorpost.

“Good,” Dean answers smirking. “Got long way to go, but I’m doing good.” He takes a quick look to all the pieces that make up the future closet as he speaks.

“We are gonna go and see if there are some seeds for some plants that we can grow on the greenhouse,” Sam starts to say casually. “You sure you don’t need help?”

“Your question insults me, Sammy,” he says joking and Sam rolls his eyes. “Grab the Impala. It’s better than that thing Cas calls car.”

“I like my car,” Castiel protests annoyed. Dean is always messing with his car. It might not be a nice car as Dean’s Impala, but Castiel still likes his car. “And why are you lending us your Impala?”

“Because I don’t want you two to go to that plant store and make people think you are gangstas.” He makes a mischievous smile. Sam chuckles at that, but Castiel glares him. “And you drive, Sam.”

“I knew that,” Sam says with an obvious face. Castiel knew that. Dean is really protective with his car, and although Castiel knows how to drive, he isn’t as good as Dean or Sam. So he would rather let Sam drive. He doesn’t want to be responsible of any injurie the Impala could get. “Well, see you.”

Castiel and Sam are about to turn around to walk away, but Dean speaks again. “Cas, where’s my farewell kiss?” he asks with a childish but cocky voice. And he also makes a tiny pout, just to emphasize how much he wants to kiss the ex-angel.

Sam arches one eyebrow when he looks at Cas, who blushes and shakes his head in surrender. He sees Dean standing up and Castiel walks towards Dean. “You are unbelievable,” Castiel mutters, unable to suppress the gummy grin he is making, a grin that Dean also has on his lips. He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him fondly but fervently. He feels how Dean fists the back of Castiel’s jacket as his other hand rests on the small of his back.

“Do you guys want me to leave you alone?” Sam sasses. Castiel doesn’t have to open his eyes to know that Dean is showing his little brother his middle finger. He can even hear Sam’s chuckle.

“Happy?” Castiel says with his sassiest look, arching his eyebrow.

“As much as you,” Dean teases. It makes Castiel laugh.

Castiel turns around and he sees that Sam has that mischievous smile on his face. “You guys have to kiss for every time you didn’t since you met, or what?”

“Shut up, Sammy.”

Castiel simply smiles, blushing slightly.

 

_____

 

Dean had already finished the closet by the time Castiel and Sam arrived. Then, they ordered some pizza and had supper. Now, Dean and Castiel are in their bedroom, placing all their clothes in their new closet.

“You did a great job,” Castiel says as he hangs on a hanger one pair of jeans.

“You sound surprised,” Dean teases with an arched brow.

Castiel chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I knew you were going to do a great job. I’m just congratulating you.”

Dean hums a laugh and he leans to kiss Cas briefly. “I really like it when you get so defensive.”

“I have noticed.”

Dean laughs and kisses Castiel properly. His hand cups Castiel’s cheeks, fingers brushing his hair, making Castiel hum happily. When Dean pulls away, they keep getting their clothes in the wardrobe. “So you like it?”

“Yes, Dean, I really like it,” he answers with a sweet smile. “What did you do with the old one?” he asks as he folds one of his t-shirts.

“I disassembled it.” He hangs one of his shirts on the hanger, being that one the last clothe that needed to be in the closet and he closes the doors. “Maybe we could use the wood for something in the future, I don’t know.”

As Dean speaks, Castiel notices a scratch on Dean’s right thumb, so he grabs Dean’s hand and looks at it. “What happened?”

“Just a silly scratch, Cas.” He shrugs casually. Castiel’s thumb caresses the small scratch. As Dean assures, it is nothing important, still, Castiel brings Dean’s hand and kisses that tiny scratch. He feels how Dean lets out a tiny gasp and Castiel looks at his green eyes, noticing that Dean has blushed. “It’s just a scratch,” he manages to say breathy.

“I know.” Again, his thumb caresses it.

He lets Dean’s hand go and he turns around to look at the closet. Dean stands beside him and slips a hand around the small of his back, drawing him closer and pressing a kiss on his shoulder. “What are you thinking about?” His thumb moves in a soothing and fond way.

“That I really like Ikea.”

Dean lets out a chuckle and kisses Cas’ cheek. “C’mon, let’s get in bed, it’s late and you are talking nonsense already.” He pulls away, sitting on the edge of their bed to take off his boots.

“It isn’t nonsense, Dean,” he says, defensive. Dean just smiles and combs his dark hair. His eyes are telling him that word he isn’t able to say. Castiel doesn’t mind that Dean hasn’t said the word ‘love’, because his eyes say that word over and over again. He knows that Dean loves him. He doesn’t need to hear that word coming out of his lips to make sure that he does. All he has to do is to see the way he looks at him.

Dean kisses him, sweetly and delicately, and Castiel hums really pleased. “You are awesome, you know?” he whispers into Castiel’s mouth.

His words make Castiel blush and smile timidly. “Not as much as you.”

“Shut up.” He rolls his eyes before he kisses Castiel.

After the kiss, they keep taking off their clothes, until they are only wearing their t-shirts and their underwear. They get in bed and Dean switches off the lights, and when he does that, Castiel seizes the moment to little spoon Dean. His hands rest on Dean’s belly and he nuzzles Dean’s nape.

“I’m taller and bigger than you,” Dean starts to say, almost grunting. “I should be the one little spooning you.”

“I don’t care,” he says tightening Dean, and he can hear the soft chuckle the hunter makes. “I like it, and you like it too. You only complain because you don’t want me to know how much you enjoy it when I little spoon you.” He nuzzles Dean’s nape again and he kisses it.

Dean’s hands find their way to Castiel’s and they tangle their fingers. “I do. But don’t tell anyone.”

A smile makes its way into Castiel’s lips. He knows that Dean is comfortable with what they have now together, but he still finds some things hard, and Castiel understands. He has known Dean for years, and he knows the hunter better than he knows himself. He knows that all of this would normally suffocate Dean, but he knows he is doing quite good, but there are things, the ones that involve feelings, that Dean isn’t ready to face yet. Still, he is opening himself up more than Castiel expected, and that’s something wonderful.

“I won’t.” He kisses the back of Dean’s neck and rests his forehead on it, tightening his arms around Dean. If he still had his wings, he would have them wrapped around Dean. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

 

***

 

Dean wakes up, the light of Cas’ bedside table leaks through his eyelids but not in an annoyingly way. He opens his eyes reluctantly and he sees Cas is lying aside and that he was watching Dean sleep.

“Geez Cas, you are a freaking creep,” Dean mumbles with a pastry voice from his sleep. He rubs his eyes, trying to adjust to the light. “I thought you hated mornings. Now, you are waking up without any problem.” Cas still has trouble to wake up in the mornings, but once in a while he manages to wake up before Dean, which he still finds it unusual.

“I have a good reason to wake up,” Castiel says casually, as if he didn’t just drop a bomb. Dean is sure that Cas doesn’t have any idea about the things he makes whenever he says things like that. Those things make Dean feel loved and a part of Dean still thinks that he doesn’t deserve it. Cas is too good for him, and the thought of not being good enough for the ex-angel is constantly present in the back of Dean’s mind.

“Cas, you—” he starts to say, but Cas leans to kiss away his frown. He knows, of course he knows. Sometimes Dean wonders is he is that transparent. He lets out a half gasp, half sob, feeling Cas’ tender kisses on his frown and how his hand cups his cheek, as if he was holding the most precious thing in the world. “Cas.” He breathes out needy.

“What?” he asks with an arched brow. He places his arm on Dean’s chest, using it as a pillow to his chin. “I can’t say that kind of things, right?”

“You make it sound like I was a douchebag,” he says with a grimace, looking away from those beautiful blue eyes.

Castiel’s other hand draws doodles on Dean’s right bicep. “You aren’t a douchebag, Dean.” His eyes find Dean’s, and the hunter can see the honesty of his words.

Dean sighs. His hand goes to Cas’ hair, feeling the softness of it. He caresses it, the motion tickling his fingers a little. His eyes follow the movement, but he can see from the corner of his eyes that Cas is still looking at him with that adoration he has for Dean. 

“I—” Dean tries to say, but he doesn’t know what to say. Like always, words are stuck in his throat and his tongue feels useless. He envies how Cas can say what he feels without any trouble at all.

“Hey.” Castiel moves and presses their foreheads together, holding firmly Dean’s face in between his hands. “I know,” he whispers, and those words make it easy for Dean to breathe again.

His hands come to grip the back of Castiel’s biceps, just under the sleeve, where some of the inked feathers poke. Dean smiles. “I think you are dating a dick.”

“I sometimes think that too.” He makes a gummy grin and Dean lets out a surprised gasp, which is a bit dramatized, but he knows that Cas is trying to ease the tension. He is too fucking awesome.

“You hurt my feelings, Cas,” Dean says pretending to be hurt and he even pouts, which earns him a bigger grin from Cas.

“Do you even have that?” he teases, making a funny face.

“Okay, that was a low punch,” he accuses with a smirk. Castiel laughs, and Dean immediately leans towards Cas to kiss him passionately, taking his sweet time to taste those wonderful lips and to taste his mouth.

Feeling how Cas moans in it and how his fingers run desperately on Dean’s hair, it makes Dean wonder how it took them all those years to finally come to where they are now. It doesn’t matter now, does it? He has Cas pressed onto him, kissing him back as if there was no tomorrow, breathing into him, and that’s what matters. It is a waste of time to think about all those lost chances in the past; the important thing is that they are together now, how long it took them to get there it doesn’t matter anymore.

A heated kiss is followed by another heated kiss that it is followed by another one. And so it goes. It is just kissing with some touching, but nothing beyond that, and it feels so damn good. It is what astonishes Dean most. He knows that what he feels about Cas hasn’t been lust, he has thought about sex, of course he has, but he didn’t want to have Cas only for sex, he wanted him to fill every single broken gap of himself, not only the sexual parts. Every time Dean tried to have something like this, it never worked out, it never felt as good and natural as it feels with Cas. He enjoys having him in any possible way. It can be from just being in the kitchen together, to have sex, to be driving in the Impala with Cas sitting next to him, to be making out slowly like they are now, or anything.

Dean pulls away to breathe and he looks at Castiel’s eyes, letting himself drown in that sea. He isn’t sure when that sea drown him for the first time, but he knows that he let himself to be drowned. The thought finds him smiling and Cas mirrors it.

“You know that I really like that we are together, right?” Dean says. His thumbs stroke his sharp cheekbones. It is a gesture that Dean likes to do because it feels so intimate.

“Yes, Dean, I know,” Castiel says.

“Good.” He smiles. “Just ‘cause I don’t say it, it doesn’t mean that—”

“Dean,” he says. He gives him that obvious but tender look of his. “We’ve talked about this before.” Dean is aware of that, but he doesn’t want Cas to think that he doesn’t like being with him or that he isn’t happy. He doesn’t want to screw things up only because he can’t let out some words. “Can you please stop worrying about that?”

“You are so bossy sometimes,” he teases with a cocky face.

“But you like it.”

Dean laughs and he kisses Cas again, until his stomach makes a groan, making the two of them to pull away. “Shit,” he says squeezing his nose and Castiel kisses the tip of it before he rolls over, getting out of bed.

“Can we have waffles today?” he asks as he stretches out. Some skin of his glorious hip is revealed, and the lowest part of his enochian protection tattoo can be seen. Dean can’t help smiling at that picture. “What?” he asks with a confused frown after noticing the way that Dean was looking at him.

Dean makes a fond smile. Then, he gets out of bed. Cas is still looking at him confused. “Nothing, Cas,” he says with a grin. He could say that he is really happy to wake up every morning and find Cas next to him. He could say that it makes him so happy to see Cas like this. But Dean simply smiles and he gives Cas that look that it is only reserved to him, knowing that Cas will know what Dean wants to say but he doesn’t. “I will make waffles.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

Castiel presses his chest against Dean’s back, his hands come to rest on Dean’s waist as he presses his cheek against Dean’s. “It’s cold, Dean,” Castiel protests with a childish voice and pouting. “And it is early. We should be in bed.” He tightens his grip on Dean, searching for his warm.

Dean chuckles. This morning Cas is grumpy. It is impossible to predict when he is going to wake up in a good mood or when he needs his usual dose of coffee to wake up. This morning, he is in the second one mood.

“Then go back to bed and sleep.” Dean says tenderly.

“Bed isn’t the same without you.” He rubs his cheek against Dean and closes his eyes. It feels as if he was using Dean as his pillow.

“You are so cute when you are this grumpy on the morning.” He grins and Castiel opens his eyes to glare him, but Dean manages to steal him a kiss. The coffee machine beeps and Castiel goes towards it, pouring some of the expensive coffee Dean got him for Christmas on it. Dean, meanwhile, keeps preparing buttered toasts.

“Can you tell me why did you wake us this early?” Castiel asks approaching Dean, handing him his mug with coffee.

“Thanks.” Dean takes a sip. He has to admit that this coffee is really good. It was supposed to be only for Cas, but Cas shares it with both Sam and Dean. He said that it was stupid to make two kinds of coffee when the three of them like this expensive one. “Like I told you last night, they already have the fridge motor we need.” The fridge still works, but by the sound it is making lately and after Dean and Sam checked it out, they knew that the motor was going to die in less than a week. It is cheaper to buy the motor than a new fridge.

“Still,” Castiel starts to run his fingers through Dean’s hair gently, looking at the motion with sleepy eyes. “Can’t that wait a little longer?”

“Cas, I have to drive to Phillipsburg and it is almost an hour long drive. The sooner I go, the sooner I will come back,” he explains as he puts the last toast on a plate. He kisses Cas’ temple, trying to make his frown disappear. “Why don’t you go back to bed after breakfast?”

“I told you, it’s not the same without you.” He embraces Dean’s waist and nuzzles his jaw. Dean moves his hand soothingly on Cas’ back. It seems like his ex-angel needs affection this morning. Not that Dean complains.

“Wanna come with me?” he asks into his hair after kissing it.

Castiel tilts his head up and looks at Dean’s eyes. “I have to do things in the greenhouse, like plant new seeds, check out the plants and stuff like that. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry.” He kisses Cas’ temple. He pulls away and grabs the plate with toasts, placing it on the table. “Let’s eat.”

 

_____

 

Once Dean is back home with the motor, he and Sam fix the fridge, and that rumbling noise is completely gone. The fridge only has a few years, so it was nonsense to buy another one when buying a new motor saves them a bunch of money and both, Sam and Dean, have some fridge knowledge.

After the fridge is fixed, Dean walks directly towards the greenhouse, where he knows Cas must be. Sam and Cas are the ones who spend more time at the greenhouse, especially Cas. Since the gates of Hell and Heaven are close, the supernatural world is calmer, but they still need some special plants for killing a witch, or a pagan god and some strange creature that they can find.

The greenhouse is located at one of the ends of the bunker, it is one of the few parts of the bunker that can be seen from the outside, but it turns out that there’s an invisibility spell that makes the greenhouse invisible for everyone. Those Men of Letters.

He finds Cas putting some leafs inside a jar. Dean watches him with a smile. The sky is cloudy, but the rays of sun that leak through those clouds and end up in the greenhouse, make Castiel look more gorgeous than he already is.

“Dean, I know you are there,” Castiel says with his usual low voice. He doesn’t move his eyes from the jar. He grabs a marker and writes something on the sticker of that jar. “And then you are the one who calls me creeper when I watch you sleeping while you watch me silently now.” He turns his face to look at Dean, arching his eyebrow.

“I’m more a stalker than a creeper,” Dean clarifies. He walks towards Cas and before he takes the last step, Cas is already grabbing the front of his t-shirt to pull him into a kiss that Dean gladly returns.

“Did you buy the motor?” He pulls away from Dean and grabs another empty jar that he uses to put inside of it some yellow flowers.

Dean hums in affirmation. “And the fridge is already fixed. Sam and I just finished fixing it,” He explains, looking at what the ex-angel does. Castiel hums and nods. “By the way,” he starts to palpate all his pockets until he finds what he is looking for on his shirt’s pocket. “I stopped for gas and I got you this.” He reveals two Twix packets. When Cas sees them, he makes a timid but beautiful smile and he grabs them. “That’s my apology for waking you up so soon.”

“Thank you, Dean.” He leans to press a brief kiss on his lips, leaving Dean with a wide smile. “I was thinking you would blow me as an apology,” he says casually as he opens up one packet.

“I can do that too, y’know?” His fingers find the waistband of Castiel’s jeans, and some of them sneak under the t-shirt he is wearing, feeling his hot skin. He can see how Cas blushes slightly. “I really like sucking your pretty, long cock.” At those words, Cas blushes a little bit more. He must be remembering when Dean first sucked his cock. Dean hasn’t forgotten how good and wrecked Cas looked and sounded, how he rocked his hips and gripped Dean’s hair. He went insane, and Dean really loved it. Then Cas blew Dean, and although there was inexperience, it was really awesome. “Damn, you get so freaking adorable when you blush whenever I talk about your cock.”

“Shut up.” His voice comes a bit high pitched and he pushes him away, making Dean laugh. “Do you want me to start talking about how much I adore your cock because it is long, thick and full of freckles?” he says with his cockiest voice.

Dean blushes, but not as much as Castiel. He bites down his lips as he smiles. “Look at you doing dirty talk,” he says amused. Castiel makes a proud face and Dean approaches him again, placing his hands on Cas’ neck, using his fingers to brush some of Cas’ messy dark hair. “So, you adore my cock, huh?” He looks at the ex-angel in a naughty way. “I’m flattered.”

“Of course that you are it.”

Dean laughs and he immediately kisses Cas, feeling his happiness against his lips. It is a feeling he will never get tired of. When they pull away, they rest their foreheads together and they have big grins on their faces.

“I love you,” Castiel says, and in his eyes Dean can see all that love. And it makes Dean’s heart skip a beat.

“I do too, y’know,” Dean starts to say, sounding more like a stutter, hating that he isn’t able to say that word. “That I— you know.”

“You get so awkward and cute when you try to say that you love me too.” He giggles, but his words are full of fondness. Dean is so fucking glad and relieved that Cas knows and understands how difficult is for Dean to say that word and how Cas doesn’t get mad or upset for Dean not being able to say it.

“I’m such a fucking mess, Cas,” he mutters frustrated and closing his eyes, leaning nearer on Cas.

“Dean Winchester wouldn’t be Dean Winchester if he wasn’t a complete mess.”

It makes Dean chuckle and he opens his eyes. “You are the best, Cas.”

“I’m no—” But Dean shushes him with a kiss.

“Don’t bullshit me. You are it.” He looks at him with a determined expression. Castiel makes that frustrated pout, which means he wants to complain but Dean isn’t going to let him because Cas is awesome and that isn’t arguable. So Dean kisses him to remove that pout. “I’m gonna make lunch, so once you are done here, just come by the kitchen, will you?”

“Of course I will.”

 

_____

 

Afternoon soon arrives and it finds Sam, Dean and Cas at the library. Sam, like the geek he is, is still browsing some Men of Letters files, Dean is rereading _It_ and Cas is drawing, using the pencils that Dean got him for Christmas. But neither Sam nor Dean are paying too much attention to what they are doing, because both of them are admiring what Cas is drawing. He is really talented. He is now drawing a Japanese garden and it has both of the Winchester brothers looking at it.

“Is your lecture that boring that you have to watch how I draw?” Castiel sasses.

“Sorry, Cas, but it is impossible not to admire your drawing, it’s amazing,” Sam says amused.

Cas blushes. “It is nothing out of this world.”

“You gotta be kidding us,” Dean snaps. “Have you actually looked at what are you drawing?” With his hand he points effusively at the drawing. “It almost looks like a freaking picture, Cas. How can you say it is nothing out of this world?”

“Dean’s right,” Sam agrees.

“You should totally hang them here in the bunker,” Charlie says suddenly, startling the three men. Neither of them heard her coming. “Relax, guys!” she says chuckling and moving her hands to tell them to calm down.

“We thought you were going to come tomorrow.” Dean makes a confused frown.

“Yeah, but I managed to get me a free day.” She starts walking towards where the three men are sitting. “I wanted to come before your birthday.” She leans to hug Dean and he hugs her back. Then, she goes to hug Castiel and finally she hugs Sam. After that, she sits on the chair beside Sam, ending in front of Castiel. “Now that I have greeted the three of you, I want proofs about you two being together.” She points with her index finger Dean and Castiel, staring at them challengingly.

The couple chuckles and they look at each other. “A kiss is enough proof?” Castiel asks with a pretty grin and Charlie nods enthusiastically.

Castiel fists the front of Dean’s t-shirt and Dean gladly kisses him fervently, cupping with his hand Castiel’s face. They moan into the kiss, opening their mouths so their tongues can meet. Dean draws himself closer and Castiel’s fingers end up on Dean’s hair. The kiss is heated and it leaves the two of them breathless when they pull away.

Charlie is grinning as if she just saw a unicorn. “I’m so happy for you guys,” she says really excited. “And it was about time.”

“Now pay, Charlie,” Sam says as he shows her his empty hand.

“Here.” She gives him a hundred bill and Sam makes a really satisfied face as he saves the bill in his pocket. “You could have gotten together on New Year.”

“Yeah, well—” Dean starts to say and he and Cas look at each other guiltily, making Sam and Charlie look at them intrigued. “I was gonna tell him on New Year, but some drunk chick kissed me and he got pissed off, so—”

“Wait,” Sam interrupts and he looks at Cas. “That’s why you left and why you were so mad at Dean?”

Castiel nods. “It was just a misunderstanding. I was hurt and I reacted in that way.” He sounds so ashamed, so Dean kisses his temple to make him feel better.

“And then we argued, we had sex, we talked and here we are,” Dean resumes.

“Look at you two being so happy and in love.” Charlie’s voice is full of fondness and happiness, making Dean and Cas blush slightly. “It’s great to see you like this, guys.” And Dean couldn’t agree more with her.

 

_____

 

For supper, Dean makes his famous homemade burgers and everyone enjoys them. Supper time is spent with chatter and some laughs. Dean adores being with all the people he most cares about.

Once dinner is over, and the four of them have washed the dishes, Sam and Cas go to the living room while Charlie and Dean go to the garage, because Charlie insisted on Dean going with her to grab her suitcase, but Dean knows her too well and he knows that Charlie wants to talk about something with him.

“I’m not accompanying you just to grab your suitcases, right?” Dean asks as they walk through one of the many halls of the bunker, but this on leads them directly to the garage.

“Nope,” Charlie says with a wide grin and turning her face to give Dean an obvious look. “You and Cas. Finally.” She grins and Dean chuckles; he knew that was going to be the topic.

“Finally, yeah.” He smiles.

“You two seem so happy. I’m so happy for you guys.” Her words are sweet and full of emotion. “It’s great to see you completely happy. You’ve been really happy lately, but it was like you were missing something, well, someone.”

“Are you gonna give me a philosophical speech now?” He arches his eyebrow and looks at his friend sassily and Dean knows that it looks like one of Cas’ sassy faces.

“Shut up, Dean.” She punches his bicep and Dean laughs. They open the garage door, going downstairs and switching on the lights. Charlie’s yellow car is parked next to Cas’ horrible car. “What I am trying to say,” she keeps saying as she opens the trunk, revealing her suitcase covered with a lot of stickers. “It’s that I’m so glad that you finally let yourself have happiness.” She grabs her suitcase and closes the trunk, looking at Dean in that serious but sweet way of hers. “I know you well, Dean, and I know that your happiness has been at the bottom of your priorities list. But now, look at you, being with the love of your life. In all those years that we’ve known each other, I don’t remember seeing you as happy as you are now. And that’s because you allowed happiness into your life.”

Dean looks down, making a shy smile, because Charlie is right. It was about time that Dean could be selfish and have some happiness. It has taken its time, but with all those things that were going on before those two big gates were closed and the Darkness was defeated, happiness wasn’t something that Dean could think about. Saving people was on top of it. Of course that he still wants to save people, but now things are quieter, and there isn’t that heavy load of stopping a huge massacre resting on his shoulders. Hunts aren’t as frequent as they used to, and Dean can have a good life without thinking that today might be his last day because some big bad is going to kill him.

“Wow, I managed to make you blush a little and to leave you speechless,” Charlie says surprised, sounding really proud. “Achievement unlocked.”

“Shut up,” Dean says chuckling, making Charlie to grin. “I hate it when you are right.”

She chuckles. “I know you do.”

 

_____

 

Dean gets in bed after he has taken all his clothes except his t-shirt and his boxers. Cas is in the bathroom and he will come to the bedroom soon. It is quite late, but neither of them has to wake up early. They watched the two last _Star Trek_ movies and time flew away.

He looks at his hands, on top of the quilt and he remembers that in less than twenty four hours it’s going to be his birthday. Every year, Dean thinks that he isn’t going to make it to another birthday, that this is going to be his last one. For now, every year he has been wrong. And for the first time in so many years, Dean hopes to make it to another one.

Castiel comes into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. “You got in bed really fast,” he says with a pretty smile. He walks towards the bed and sits on Dean’s side. He could sit on his side of the bed, which is empty, but neither of them would like that. They like proximity.

“Yeah,” Dean says looking at those stunning blue eyes.

“What is it?” he asks as he takes off his boots.

“I was thinking that I’m gonna make it to another birthday.” Talking with Cas is really easy. It might not be the case when Dean tries to express his feelings, but the rest of their conversations aren’t difficult at all. Words feel light on Dean’s tongue, even if they hold a huge importance.

Cas throws his boot away, ending next to Dean’s, making a racketing sound. “Did you think you weren’t going to make it?”

“I never think I’m gonna make it to another year.” Those words make Castiel’s eyes meet his, Dean being able to see the sadness in them. “But I guess this has been a quiet year, all things considered.” He caresses Castiel’s closest arm and makes a reassuring smile.

“This time, do you think you are going to make it to another year?” The question comes in a soft murmur, as if it was part of a secret.

“Yeah, I do.” And once Dean has said that, Castiel’s eyes soften and a tiny smile makes it ways into his lips.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Castiel says, happiness slipping into his voice. He leans onto Dean, pressing a tender kiss on his lips. After that, he stands up to take off his jeans, and Dean watches him, enjoying how Cas takes it off. The ex-angel catches Dean’s sight and he makes timid smile. “Enjoying it?”

“You know I always enjoy it when you take your clothes.” He makes an innocent pout. “Though I like it more when I am the one who gets to take them.” And he wiggles his eyebrows.

Castiel shakes his head and chuckles, walking towards the wardrobe to hang his jeans on a hanger. “You are an assbutt,” he says, and although Dean can’t see his face, he knows that he is smiling.

“You knew that before we got together. I don’t know why it still surprises you.”

He hears Cas chuckling, who is now taking his shirt off and hanging it on a hanger as well. Dean now can see some of those beautiful inked feathers that almost brush Cas’ elbows. The sleeves and the t-shirt cover the rest of the magnificent tattoo, but still, Dean gets to see a piece of it. He really likes that tattoo. He liked since when Cas walked out of the tattoo studio with it.

“Shit, I really like your tattoo,” Dean says, making Castiel turn his face and look at the back of his arm, making a soft smile at that.

“I know you like it.” Castiel closes the closet and he walks towards the bed, to sit on the same spot he was before.

Dean seizes the moment and he caresses Cas’ skin, where some of those beautiful inked feathers are. It is really detailed and it looks like real feathers. The tattooist girl did an awesome work. “It’s awesome.” He slides up the sleeve, rolling it until it reveals Cas’ shoulder. Dean’s fingers follow the tattoo, caressing it softly, admiring the beauty of it. “And really sexy.”

“You find it sexy? Really?” He arches an eyebrow in disbelief.

Dean nods. “Tattoos are sexy. I really like all your tattoos. The enochian protection sigil, the anti-possession one and your wings. But I have a weakness for this one.” His thumb moves soothingly on the black inked feathers. The ex-angel makes a sweet smile at Dean’s words. “Does it still hurt you?” he asks looking at Cas’ eyes. “The scars.”

“No,” he murmurs. “It doesn’t hurt anymore.” He rests his chin on his shoulder and his eyes look down at Dean’s hand. “But I still feel the lack of my wings sometimes.” He sighs and makes a small pause. “My back feels too light once in a while.” He lets out a soft chuckle as his eyes find Dean.

“It must be weird.”

“It is.”

There’s a silence in between them. Dean’s hand keeps touching Cas’ arm and shoulder, tracing the tattoo. He knows that Cas misses being an angel. He spent millions of years being one, and now, he is human, powerless, graceless and wingless, it is a big change for him, even if he has already been human in the past, but somehow, he always became an angel again. But this time, that possibility is not available.

Dean leans to kiss Cas’ bicep, the gesture making Cas smile and close his eyes. “I’m glad you are here,” Dean whispers. He doesn’t want Cas to feel how his voice trembles with those words. Those stunning blue eyes are soon locked on Dean’s green ones, some confusion slipping into them, but reflecting emotion at what Dean just said. “I—” Dean keeps whispering. “I’m glad that you didn’t leave. And I’m glad that we are together.” He inhales shaprly after that. They were just words, but to let out all of that, it was a big effort for Dean. But he is really happy to have let them out.

“I’m glad about all of that too, Dean.” His smile is tiny but beautiful. There’s another silence in between them as they look at each other. “Do you mind if I get in bed now? Because I’m starting to get a little cold.”

Dean chuckles and unrolls Cas’ sleeve. “Just come here.” And he pulls away the quilt and the sheet from Cas’ side of the bed. Cas stands and he moves towards that side. Once he is there, he rolls towards Dean, pressing his chest against Dean’s side, and Dean immediately brings his arm to embrace him, his hand resting on Cas’ arm. Carefully, Dean pulls the sheet and the quilt up, until it almost covers their chins. Castiel giggles sweetly at that. “Don’t wanna get you cold.”

Castiel nuzzles Dean’s jaw before kissing it. “I really like it when you take care of me like this.” Dean blushes. He has always liked to take care of Cas. Even when he was an angel and he didn’t need it. But Dean has always liked to take care of him, to protect him for everything. Although he did a poor job at that most of the time.“And judging by your blush, you like it too.”  
“Of course I like it.” He sounds a bit grumpy because he is shy about it. “And you like taking care of me.”

“You have no idea how much I like that.” His voice is a soft and fond whisper that makes Dean turn his face to look at his fallen angel. Dean tightens his arms around Cas and they kiss, slowly and softly.

“I—” Dean starts to say and he makes frustrated groan. Why is that word so hard to say? Maybe because he is still afraid that once he says it, something bad will happen to Cas. It always goes like this in Dean’s life.

“Me too,” Cas says cupping Dean’s cheek, making that beautiful and reassuring smile. And his eyes, his beautiful blue eyes are beaming with the word that Dean can’t say out loud.

“You don’t have any idea how fucking thankful I am that you get what I try to say every time I can’t work words out.” He breathes out, being a bit embarrassed.

“You should be more thankful that I appreciate your terrible sense of humor,” he says with a serious and Dean bursts into laughter, a joy that immediately spreads through Cas.

When Dean is no longer laughing, he looks back at Cas’ eyes. “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being you,” he says. Castiel looks at him with appreciation, and he is about to say something, but Dean stops him. “Yeah, I know it was cheesy, so don’t you dare to say a word about it.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Okay.” He leans to kiss Dean’s lips. “Switch off the lights. I need to sleep, after all, you woke me up extremely early today.”

“I got you those Twix as an apology,” he murmurs as he switches off the lights.

“Twix can’t give me my sleep back.”

“Just sleep, Cas,” he whispers into his hair before kissing it. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” And he snuggles against Dean, tangling his legs with Dean’s. Dean smiles, feeling so happy with something as simple as this.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions ^^

“Happy birthday, Dean!” Castiel yells excitedly, almost giggling and getting on top of Dean the moment Dean is awake.

Dean has just opened his eyes and he is surprised that he didn’t grab a knife or anything because Cas almost scared the shit out of him. You can’t yell and get on top of someone the moment that someone opens his eyes after sleeping. But Dean soon forgets all of that the moment Cas starts to press kisses all over his face, giggling happily. Dean is soon laughing, and he has to admit that so far, this is the best birthday he has ever had. And he has only woken up.

“Cas,” Dean says in between laughter. His hands cup Cas’ face, and they kiss passionately, Cas making those sweet little moans that Dean adores. Before they pull away completely, Dean catches Cas’ lower lip in between his, making Cas smile. “Thank you for this congratulation.”

“It’s not over yet,” he says with a really sexy, low voice.

Dean arches his eyebrow and Cas’ hand goes directly to his groin, making Dean gasp and hiss. Cas rubs his hand on Dean’s groin, pressing right where Dean likes to be pressed. His boxers are in the way of feeling Cas’ skin against his, but it still feels pretty good.

“Thought you were gonna leave this for the night,” Dean breathes out.

Castiel rocks his hips and leans closer onto Dean. “I’ve got plans for tonight too,” he whispers into Dean’s mouth, again, with that sexy voice, and Dean could come with the sound of it.

Dean huffs a laugh and kisses Cas sweetly. He doesn’t doubt to get his hand on Castiel’s groin and squeeze the line of his cock, hidden in his boxers. It catches Castiel by surprise and he pulls away from the kiss, gasping and looking at Dean with desire. Dean simply smirks and rolls both of them, being now Cas the one with his back pressed on the mattress and Dean the one on top of him.

Castiel arches an eyebrow in a challenging way while Dean smirks. The ex-angel fists the front of Dean’s t-shirt, pulling him into a kiss. While they kiss, Castiel rolls both of them, going back to the position they were before.

“Seriously?” Dean asks as Castiel grabs Dean’s wrists and pins him. “I’m the birthday boy.” He makes a cute pout, protesting. Castiel simply smirks and rubs his hard cock against Dean’s. Dean looks at him in a challenging way and he manages to roll both of them again. Pining Cas before the ex-angel takes a chance to change their positions again.

“Dean!” He makes that cute frustrated face and Dean smirks. “You are the worst,” he adds, struggling to get free. “How am I supposed to do a proper handjob with both of my hands pinned?”

“I don’t know.” He leans closer, just leaving a few inches in between their lips. “I’m sure you can come up with something.”

Almost immediately, Cas manages to free his hands from Dean and he rises, forcing Dean to end up sitting on the mattress. He can see the fire on Castiel’s eyes, and it is arousing and a bit scary at the same time. He is soon kissing Dean with all his fire and need, leaving Dean breathless and turning him on a lot. When they pull away, Cas takes off Dean’s t-shirt and then his, wasting just a couple of seconds on that. His mouth goes directly to Dean’s neck, nibbling and sucking marks, and Dean has to press his hands on Cas’ blades to hold himself.

“Fuck, Cas—” Dean gasps and moans. He tilts his head to one side to give the ex-angel more room. He loves when Cas is like this; all passion and fire.

One of Cas’ hands caresses Dean’s nipple while the other one cups Dean’s cock, sending Dean an electric shiver down his spine. He pushes Cas down onto the mattress and he takes their boxers off, under Castiel’s watchful eyes.

Now it is Dean’s turn to leave marks and kisses on Castiel’s neck. Cas squirms and moans delighted as his hands trace down Dean’s back. Both of them are rocking their hips, rubbing their hard and leaking cocks with precome. Castiel’s hands find Dean’s butt cheeks and he squeezes them, making Dean gasp and chuckle.

“Going straight for the gold, Cas?” Dean says with a smirk as he kisses the corner of Castiel’s mouth.

Cas smirks and bites his lower lip. “I learnt it from the best.” And Dean has to kiss him spiritedly for that answer. It is a heated kiss with tongue that leaves both of them gasping for air.

Cas’ hand goes directly to both of their cocks and he starts to stroke them together, making Dean shiver. “Son of a bitch,” he hisses as he presses his forehead against Cas’. He even lets out a really load moan and he squirms when Cas squeezes the head of his cock.

“Dean—” Castiel moans with a smirk. Dean’s hand immediately joins Castiel and he does the same squeeze Castiel did before to Castiel’s cock. “Dean—!” He moans.

Both of their hands start to move, finding a perfect rhythm together. They fuck into their joined hands, gasping and moaning, kissing once in a while, sayings their names, hissing and squirming, and looking at each other’s eyes all the time.

Their speed increases, and with that, the volume of their moans too. It feels too damn good to have their hands joined stroking both of their cocks, their hips rocking restlessly and skin touching everywhere.

Dean can feel his orgasm building in his belly and how his cock twitches with the need of release. Just a few strokes and he is coming, painting his stomach and Castiel’s with his come. He feels boneless, strength leaving his body, but he still keeps moving his hand on both of their cocks, until he feels Cas coming too, which happens not so long after him, making Dean able to finally collapse onto Cas and burry his face in the crook of his neck, with a big grin on his lips.

Cas lets out a happy sigh and his hands are on Dean’s hair and on the space in between his blades, caressing him. “Happy birthday, Dean,” Castiel whispers before kissing the top of his head.

Dean smiles and he tilts up his head, so he can look at Cas properly. He kisses him, sweetly and lazily. “Thanks, Cas.” He kisses him again and then, he makes a cocky smile. “Wanna take a shower with me?”

“Do you even have to ask me that?” 

Dean laughs and kisses him happily.

 

_____

 

“Stop laughing at us!” Charlie says frustrated.

“I’m not laughing!” Dean says with a wide grin and Charlie glares him.

The four of them are in the kitchen, because Sam, Cas and Charlie are baking a pie, all by themselves, without Dean’s help, and Dean finds it adorable. He is sitting on a chair, watching them, adoring how motivated they are. He doesn’t care if the pie isn’t going to be as good as the ones he makes, because they are making it with all their enthusiasm, and that’s awesome. But he trusts them, because they are using the book recipe, and he knows that the pie will be really good.

“So, who had this idea?” Dean asks intrigued.

“Your boyfriend,” Sam answers looking at Cas with a smirk and the ex-angel blushes quickly.

“Really?” he asks surprised. Cas looks adorable with some flour on his apron and on his cheek. Sam and Charlie aren’t doing better, but they don’t look as cute as Cas.

“Yes. But don’t blame me if this turns out to be a failure,” Castiel says with a warning sight and Dean laughs.

Truth is that Dean doesn’t remember a birthday like this, being happy and with the people he most cares about. He was too young when his birthday was celebrated. His memory can’t remember his fourth birthday, but he knows that his parents were there and that his mother was still pregnant, and he was happy. But then, when Mary died, birthdays were never important for the Winchester family, although Dean tried to buy something sweet or nice for Sam’s birthday, and Sam did the same once he was old enough to go to the supermarket by himself.

But nothing has ever felt as happy and nice as this. Dean is with his brother and with his two best friends, which one happens to be his boyfriend, although he doesn’t like that label too much; boyfriend sounds so teeny and it doesn’t start to describe what he and Cas have. It’s not only that special bond, it is something more, much deeper; Cas is his everything.

“Okay, give us your approval,” Sam says as he shows Dean the pie before he gets it in the oven. The pie really looks good, and he makes an impressed face. “Good?”

“Good,” Dean says. And Sam, Cas and Charlie make a proud smile before Sam gets it in the oven. “Now you only have to clean this mess. Seriously, how did you guys manage to dirty this so much?” He looks around and there’s flour on the floor and on the counter. Some sugar and remains of eggs are also on the counter as well.

“The dough was a bitch,” Charlie says rubbing her forehead, leaving some flour on it, although due to the pale color of her skin, it is barely noticeable.

Dean chuckles. “I can see. The three of you have flour on your faces. A bit more of flour on your faces and you would be like geishas.”

Sam makes a fake laugh. “Very funny, Dean.”

Suddenly, Cas approaches him and he throws some flour at his face. Charlie covers her mouth, not believing that Cas just did that while Sam is with his mouth parted, about to burst into laughter. Cas, like the bastard he is sometimes, is smirking while Dean is staring at Cas, trying to process what he just did.

“You are such a pretty geisha, Dean,” Castiel says with a cocky but sweet voice. Sam and Charlie burst into laughter.

Dean stands up from the chair, looking at Cas in a challengingly, walking into his personal space, never fading away his cocky smirk. “You are gonna regret that, Cas.” And he grabs one egg and breaks it on top of Cas’ hair. Charlie and Sam let out a surprised gasp and Castiel glares Dean as the egg yolk falls from his hair to his face.

But Dean hasn’t got too many time to savor his revenge because Cas grabs the flour and Dean ends up all covered with it. Before he manages to grab the other flour sack, Cas is running somewhere to grab something next to Charlie and Sam and Dean ends up covering with flour his brother and his friend. And with that, a food war happens in the kitchen.

It is all laughter and giggles and swears and happiness. Everyone is against everyone, and the kitchen is soon dirtier than before, although the four of them end up worse than the kitchen, but it doesn’t matter, they are having a lot of fun.

When they have thrown everything they could reach to each other, they sit down on the dirty floor, a big grin on all their faces. “Four grown adults just had a food war,” Sam says, chuckling and shaking his head. “It’s crazy.”

“But awesome,” Dean says with a big grin.

“I never did this before,” Castiel starts to say, looking at his food stained clothes. “I never thought it could be so much fun.”

“Yeah, humans are weird,” Dean says laughing, and Cas rolls his eyes and smiles.

“Well, guys,” Charlie says standing up. “I don’t know about you, but I really need a shower.” She pats her jeans, trying to shake off some of the food on it.

“I think we all need a shower,” Sam agrees, also standing up. “And we need to clean this mess.”

They clean the kitchen and then, Charlie goes to the shower. Sam goes to take a shower too, but he goes to the other bathroom that it is quite far from their bedrooms, so Dean and Castiel end up in the kitchen, sitting on the chairs, and Cas rests his head on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean leans to press a kiss on Cas’ hair and he makes a grimace after it. “Your hair tastes like egg.”

“Of course it tastes like egg, you broke one on it,” he snaps laughing. Dean laughs too. “This was insane.” He makes happy sigh, dedicating Dean a pretty grin. “Did you ever do this before?”

“No. I don’t want to imagine how my father would have reacted if me and Sammy did this while we were in a motel.” He takes a deep breath and he holds Castiel’s hands with his. He enjoys the feeling of it.

Castiel kisses Dean’s cheek, pressing his nose against it and Dean lets out a sweet chuckle. “It is going to be hard to remove this,” he says as he touches his hair, all covered with dried egg.

“Nah, don’t worry, I will help you with it.”

“Another shower together?” His voice is full of innocence but at the same time there’s some roguery.

Dean hums in affirmation. “But just because you need help with that.”

“Yeah, just because of that.” He giggles.

He looks so damn beautiful that Dean has to kiss him. Those sweet little moans can be heard soon and Dean melts into that kiss that tastes like flour and who the hell knows what else, but it is wonderful.

They pull away when there is the sound of a click and the light of a flash. “You are so cute, guys,” Charlie says, who has her red hair all wet and she is wearing her robe. She is grinning as she looks at the camera, looking at the photo she just took.  
Dean glares her a little, but he really wants to have that photo in his album.

 

_____

 

For supper, they order a few pepperoni pizzas with extra cheese. They have been in the kitchen for too long today, and after that mess, no one of them wants to clean or cook anymore, so pizzas are a great solution.

For dessert, there’s the apple pie Sam, Cas and Charlie made. It looks and smells really good. They cut a slice and give it to Dean, with a candle on it. They sing to Dean Happy Birthday, making Dean feel really embarrassed, but deep down, he feels really cared. He blows the candle, wishing to make it to another year, and then, he takes a bite of the pie while the chefs look at him with expecting eyes.

“So?” Castiel asks intrigued.

“Awesome,” Dean says. And he is telling the truth. The pie is really good. “I’m gonna have another slice after this,” he adds with his mouth full.

“Really?” Sam asks surprised and Dean nods. “There isn’t anything bad that you want to stand out?”

“For the next time,” Dean starts to explain, moving his plate so Sam can see the filling. “Try to distribute the filling a bit better, in order to have filling everywhere.” The part that it is close to the crust lacks a bit of filling, but still, the pie is really good. “Except for that, you guys did an awesome job.”

“The pie king is proud of us?” Charlie says with a mocking but tender smile.

“The pie king is really proud of you all.”

Everybody has pie, and Dean, as he said, repeats. Then, they tell Dean to go to the library room and wait there, because they have to go and bring him his presents. Dean feels like a little kid right now, feeling anticipation and excitement all over him.

Once every one is in the library, Charlie is the first one to give him the present. She bought him a book about Vonnegut’s life with all his drawings. He gives her a tight hug for it, because it is awesome. Then, he opens the other present, which was bought by Sam and Cas. It is huge and Dean doesn’t have any idea about what it could be.

“No way,” Dean says astonished when he sees that it is an acoustic guitar. He looks at his brother and his boyfriend, trying to make sure that they really got him that. “Is this—?”

“Yes, Dean, it is an acoustic guitar,” Sam says chuckling.

Castiel smiles. “We know that you like guitars, so we thought it was a great idea to buy you one.” 

“I—” Dean is speechless. He wasn’t expecting this present. He has wanted a guitar for so long, but he never had the time or the money for it. And now, he has one. “Thank you.” He cups Castiel’s face and kisses him passionately, then, he hugs Sam. “Thank you so much, guys.” He is really touched. His eyes are even a little bit glassy.

“C’mon, Dean,” Charlie starts to say. She rests her elbows on the table, and leans her face on her hands, looking at Dean in a really bright way. “Play something for us.”

“I’m terrible at this.”

“Please, Dean,” Castiel says with one of the sweetest voices Dean has ever heard. “Just play anything.”

And Dean plays a few things that he knows how to play. It has been decades since he last played a guitar or held one, but he still remembers some of the few songs he learnt. Sam, Cas and Charlie look at him and smile, and Dean finds himself grinning in a gummy way.

 

_____

 

Dean and Castiel walk towards their bedroom. Dean is carrying the guitar and Castiel the book. Once they are in the bedroom, Dean leaves the guitar on an empty corner, and he looks at it, with a wide grin. Then, he places the book on the table, because he is going to read it tomorrow. Before he turns over, Castiel throws himself at Dean and kisses him spiritedly, leaving Dean breathless.

“Before anything,” Castiel starts to say pulling away a little. “I have another gift for you.”

Dean squints his eyes. “Isn’t sex going to be that gift?”

“Apart from that one, assbutt,” he says chuckling. He walks towards their closet and he looks into his trench coat for something. When he seems to find it, he walks towards Dean, and he looks really shy and he is even flushed. He takes a deep breath and looks at his hands, which are hiding that gift. “It’s nothing special, but— I want you to have it.” He moves away one of his hands and a black feather tied with a black lace, forming a necklace, is shown. Dean grabs it and he is surprised by the softness of it. It is softer than any other feather, softer than silk, and the touch is really nice and even warm. “It is— Well, it was one of my feathers.”

“Wait,” Dean says surprised, lifting his eyes from his hand to look at Cas. “This feather was yours? From your wings?” Castiel nods. “How did you—?”

“When I fell,” Castiel starts to explain, some pain slipping into his voice. “Some of my feathers became visible and fell. Most of them burnt. But a couple of them fell from my wings before they could be burnt, and they ended up in my trench coat.”

Dean looks amused at the feather. “Wow,” he simply says. “It is really soft and beautiful.” He looks at Castiel’s eyes. “Your wings must have been fucking beautiful.”

Castiel flushes. “Thank you, Dean.”

“I would have liked to see them.”

“I wish you could have seen it.” He sighs and Dean squeezes his shoulder soothingly. “Anyway,” he keeps saying. “I want you to have it. If you don’t want to wear it, it’s okay, but I want you to keep it.”

“Of course that I’m gonna wear it, Cas. It is awesome.” He puts on the necklace with the feather and he looks at it as he touches it with his fingers. When he looks at Cas, his eyes are a bit glassy, but there’s a pretty, sweet smile drawn on his lips. “Thank you, Cas. It is really awesome.” And he kisses him sweetly.

“I’m glad you like it.” His smile gets bigger and Dean finds himself mirroring it. “And now, I have that other present you are waiting for.” He makes cocky grin and kisses Dean in a breathtaking way.

As they kiss, Castiel pushes Dean towards the bed until the hunter can feel it on his calf. Castiel pushes him down onto the mattress, falling the two of them together, without stopping the heated and needy kiss. They take off their clothes, a task that they can do quickly and without any trouble at all, only parting their lips when they have to remove their t-shirts.

Soon, they are completely naked and Castiel parts his lips from Dean’s, looking at him with predatory eyes, sending heat directly to Dean’s cock, making the speed of his heart increase. The ex-angel’s hands move up from the sides of Dean’s thighs, his palms feeling hot with the contact of Dean’s freckled skin. They map Dean’s body, following the curves and the sharp lines of it, spreading that wonderful fire through Dean’s body, leaving him gasping for air, never abandoning the warmth of Castiel’s eyes, because the way he is looking at him leaves Dean speechless. There are so many things in those eyes, things that Dean hopes he will able to tell Cas someday, when words aren’t heavy in his tongue, when they don’t form a limp in his throat. In the meantime, Dean will look at Castiel with the same adoration he is looked, his eyes speaking those words he can’t let out yet.

His hands are soon on Dean’s collarbone and his fingers brush the feather he just gave him. Both of them look at it before their eyes meet again and they smile. Cas leans to kiss Dean passionately, pushing his tongue inside Dean’s mouth, and Dean moans as his fingers dig in Cas’ inked back.

Castiel’s mouth starts to trace him down; he kisses his chin, next his jaw and then his neck, where he leaves several hickeys. Dean gasps and moans as Castiel drags his teeth on his neck, and whenever Cas sucks, Dean tightens his grip on his dark hair, pressing him even closer, which makes Castiel smirk against his hot, sweaty skin.

Dean’s nipple is the next thing that Castiel’s mouth pays attention to. He kisses it first, and then, his tongue swirls on it. With one of his hands, he pinches the other one. Dean smirks as he bites his lower lip, closing his eyes and moaning, his grip on Castiel’s hair tightening. Cas knows that Dean has really sensitive nipples and he uses that knowledge to make really awesome things. He even nibbles it and Dean moans louder, arching his back and rocking his hips.

“You son of a bitch,” Dean hisses needy. Cas always likes to take his time, praising and worshiping Dean’s body with his hands and mouth. And Dean can’t blame him, because he does the same with Cas’ body. “Cas— please.” He rocks his hips needy, because his cock is already leaking precome and it needs some care.

Castiel smirks and he kisses Dean’s mouth. “You are so eager.” he whispers into his mouth before he moves away to kiss down Dean’s chest.

“How am I not going to be eager?” He grunts. He is already a mess of moans and pants and Cas hasn’t touched his cock yet. Cas’ hands slid down his sides, caressing the curve of Dean’s ass as his lips press kisses on Dean’s tummy. “You are—” But he can’t finish that sentence because Cas’ mouth is now on the head of his cock, with his tongue swirling on it. “Fuck—”

Castiel’s hands immediately come to rest on Dean’s hipbones as he swallows Dean’s cock completely, making Dean moan and groan as his hips rock intuitively. Castiel starts to bob his head up and down, swirling his tongue all along Dean’s shaft, tasting the salty skin of it. Dean’s hands are on Castiel’s hair, gripping it tightly but not in a painful way, pulling him downer, until the head of his cock touches his throat, and Cas fucking moans around his cock.

Dean really adores the enthusiasm Cas has when he is sucking Dean’s cock. He puts a lot of enthusiasm and it is really awesome. The way his tongue swirls, how his lips press around Dean’s cock and how he keeps working his mouth down on him, looking at Dean through his eyelashes, it is awesome.

His mouth and tongue are soon focused on the head of Dean’s cock, and one of his hands starts to stroke the rest of the shaft. He presses little kisses that leave Dean grinning and biting his lip. He moves said hand after a while and he goes to cup Dean’s balls, his fingers doing wonderful things and he goes back to suck Dean’s cock.

Castiel swallows him down completely and Dean is coming in Castiel’s mouth, feeling how the world collapses onto him and it is glorious. Cas, meanwhile, swallows all Dean’s come, licking the head of his cock for the remaining. Dean caresses his hair, grinning like the happy idiot he is. And when he opens his eyes to look at Cas, the ex-angel is smiling at him, pressing sweet little kisses on Dean’s cock.

“Come here,” Dean murmurs, and Castiel complies. Dean cups his face and kisses him sweetly, tasting his come on it. “That was awesome,” he says before kissing him again. His hands embrace Cas, pressing him closer, feeling Cas’ hard cock on his stomach. “Let me take care of you.”

“Dean, you don’t—” Castiel can’t finish what he was saying because Dean shushes him with a kiss and he rolls the two of them, so Cas is now with his back onto the mattress.

“I don’t, what?” Dean inquires with an arched brow. “Have to do anything?” His hands go to Castiel’s nipples and his thumbs stoke them, making Cas gasp. “Not take care of you?” He leans and kisses Cas in a really dirty way, pushing his tongue as further as he can, until Cas is arching his back, moaning and his hands are running desperately through Dean’s hair. “You are so gorgeous, and that cock of yours, fuck, it is so hard not to want to take care of it.”

Castiel chuckles and makes a happy sound when Dean starts to kiss the skin behind his ear. “Then, I don’t have any complain about it.” He moans sweetly when Dean catches his lobe in between his teeth. Dean’s hands trace down Castiel’s sides, feeling the shapes of it and Castiel rocks his hips needy. “I’m painfully hard, Dean.”

“Don’t worry.” He moves his mouth to Castiel’s neck, nibbling and sucking it, adoring how Cas moans and squirms under him. “I’m gonna suck that pretty cock of yours.” At those words, Castiel’s hips shake and he lets out a wonderful gasp.

But before he goes directly to suck Cas’ cock, Dean is going to take his time, because Cas has too much skin that deserves to be touched and kissed. He kisses one of his nipples, circling it with his tongue, nibbling it slightly. He does the same with the other one.

“This is your revenge for taking my time before?” Castiel asks with a wide grin.

“Yeah, although I really like taking my time too,” Dean says with a cocky smirk.

Castiel chuckles. “It is a really good revenge, though.”

Dean smirks and he keeps kissing Castiel’s nipple. Then, he goes down his chest, pressing quick kisses. He would take more time, but Cas is really hard and Dean knows he is dying to feel Dean’s lips wrapped on his cock, so Dean wastes no more time and swallows Cas’ cock completely, pressing it against his throat, earning him a really loud moan from Cas, followed almost instantly by the rock of his hips and the arch of his back. Cas’ hands come to Dean’s hair, tightening it, his nails digging in his scalp.

Dean bobs his head up and down. One of his hands is on Cas’ hipbone while the other one is massaging his balls. He looks at Cas, who is rapt and a mess of pants and moans. He looks gorgeous being all flushed, with his lips parted and his eyes closed. Dean keeps bobbing his head faster, swirling his tongue all the way up and down Cas’ shaft, moaning around that glorious cock when he pushes it against his throat.

With his lips and with his tongue, he plays with the head of Cas’ cock. He knows that Cas is about to come, so after it, he goes back to just swallow him, and Cas comes seconds after it, his hands pushing Dean further down on him. And Dean swallows all his come, licking every inch of Cas’ cock during that.

He pulls away with a wet sound and he kisses Cas’ lips, making Cas’ smile. He keeps kissing Cas’ face, pressing kisses all over it, and the ex-angel hums happily and embraces Dean tightly. “Dean,” Castiel moans softly. “Dean.” His mouth finds Dean and they kiss. “This was really good,” he whispers before kissing him again.

Dean smiles and he rolls to the empty side of the bed, lying aside. “Thank you for this awesome birthday,” Dean says looking at Cas’ eyes.

“You already thanked us that, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know.” He rests his chin on Cas’ shoulder and he starts to caress the black feather with his hand. “But again, thanks a lot, Cas.”

Castiel smiles and kisses Dean’s forehead. “You are very welcome, Dean. And I’m glad you enjoyed your birthday.” He embraces Dean, pressing him closer to his side and caressing the freckled shoulder with his thumb. Dean really likes when Cas holds him. He feels safe, protected and cared.

“This has been my best birthday.” He nuzzles Castiel’s jaw and kisses it. Their mouths meet again and they kiss, lazily but fondly, soft moans slipping into it. When they pull away, only leaving a few inches in between their lips, which are forming happy smiles, they look at each other’s eyes. “I— you know, you.”

Castiel smiles. “I love you too.” He kisses Dean sweetly. He makes a happy sigh when their lips part. His eyes catch Dean’s hand, which is still caressing Castiel’s black feather and he smiles.

“What?” Dean inquires and Castiel moves his eyes to look at the feather again. Dean chuckles. “I told you that I really like it.”

“I can see that.” His hand slips in between Dean’s and the feather, caressing it too. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to like it or not. I thought you could find it too cheesy or too intimate.”

“Why did you think so?” he asks confused. Castiel simply shrugs. “Is there some hidden meaning about giving your feather to me?”

Castiel blushes, but tries to keep a straight face. “Maybe.”

Dean looks at him intrigued. “It does.” He props on his elbow, resting his cheek on his hand and with his other one, he pokes Cas’ chest. “C’mon, Cas, tell me.”

“No.” He looks away, blushing even more, looking really shy.

Dean sighs and gets on top of him, cupping Cas’ face so he can look straight to his eyes. “Cas, tell me. I wanna know.”

His lips press into a thin line and then, he sighs. “Eternal love.”

“Oh,” he says surprised. Castiel’s flush only deepens and he moves his eyes away from Dean’s. Eternal love. It is really cheesy and sappy, but it makes Dean feel something really heartwarming blooming in his chest, spreading through all his body. “Yeah, it is cheesy,” he starts to say and Castiel rolls his eyes. “But, if I had wings, I would give you one of my feathers too.”

Castiel looks at Dean again, surprise, emotion and astonishment slipping into his eyes. Dean really means that. Because he feels the same, even if he can’t say it out loud. Castiel rises, sitting on the bed, forcing Dean to rise too and ending up kneeling on the mattress. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he says with a warm smile. “Cas, I— I feel the same, you know it. And I am a big sap like you sometimes, even worse.” He chuckles. Castiel makes a pretty smile.

“I know,” he says and he kisses Dean as gently as possible. His arms embrace Dean’s neck and he makes a big beautiful grin. “You are great, Dean Winchester.”

“Shut up.” He blushes, making Castiel laugh and kiss the tip of his nose, an action that makes Dean scowl funnily.

Castiel starts to kiss Dean’s lips again, tasting them sweetly. Dean places his hands on Castiel’s back, feeling how his muscles move under his skin. They press closer and their kisses get heater. Soon, Cas’ mouth is on Dean’s neck, sucking and biting, and Dean tilts his head to one side, closing his eyes and gasping.

“Wanna get me hard again, Cas?”

“Your birthday isn’t over yet,” he answers. Dean takes a quick look at the clock on his bedside table. Midnight will come in a few minutes. Cas’ legs are soon embraced around Dean’s waist and he pulls Dean down with him. He grabs Dean’s hand and starts to guide it towards his hole. “We still have time to celebrate it one last time.” He breathes out and he presses Dean’s thumb on his entrance.

“You are the fucking best, Cas,” Dean says before kissing him and getting the first finger inside Castiel, just to loosen the tightness of it.

He grabs the lube after that and he spreads it on his hand and on his cock. He opens Cas up as they kiss and they touch. He slides into him when Cas is ready, and it feels like coming home. Cas is warm and tight and it is maddening. He fucks him sweetly, with steady thrusts, and Cas grinds into him, clenching around him. Both of them are soon moaning, groaning and gasping, and it feels too damn good.

Their eyes are locked together, like always. They kiss whenever they can. Their hands are restless on each other. It feels as if they were the only ones left in the whole damn world.

Dean hits that sweet spot that makes Cas squirm and say his name with swears, and Cas clenches around him again and again, making Dean arch his back, swear and lose his strength, but they keep going, rocking their hips together, holding each other, until they come, and it is wonderful, awesome and perfect.

Dean slides out of Cas, who holds him tightly after it. They kiss lazily. Both of them are exhausted, but they are grinning happily. It is been a long day, but an awesome, long day.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the subscriptions :)

It doesn’t matter if Dean has been hunting for almost his whole life, every time he is about to hunt something, the speed of his heart increases, feeling how his blood runs faster, segregating adrenaline, feeling how his senses sharpen. And he knows that the same happens to Sam and Cas.

They are in Jefferson City, Missouri, hunting vampires. It appeared in the news that half a dozen of dead teenagers appeared on a field after a concert, they were bloodless and with a part of their neck almost destroyed. People in town thought it had to do with some satanic people, but Sam, Dean and Castiel found it was vampires who were having a fest of virgin teenagers for dinner.

The nest is on an abandoned mansion at the outskirt of town. It is morning, which means that they are sleeping, the best time to catch them by surprise and kill them. But Dean can’t help thinking about something; this is the first time Cas is going to hunt and kill a vampire, and Dean is worried and really scared. He has to admit that there are like eight vampires here, and they need Cas to kill all of them, still he is scared about something happening to Cas.

They are in the mansion, and there is no one in the hall. Dean suspects that all of them must be upstairs, in a bedroom. “Cas,” Dean whispers as low as possible. He looks around, expecting some vampire getting out of somewhere, but it doesn’t happen. “Check this floor. Me and Sam will check upstairs.”

Castiel nods and he walks away from them. Meanwhile, Sam and Dean go upstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. All the doors are opened except from the one at the end of the hall, which means that must be where all those vamps are. Dean points with his head that door and Sam nods. He knows that they are there too.

They walk towards it, every step barely sounding. They open the door, as slowly as they can, hoping that it won’t squeak, but it does, and all those vampires, nine in total, wake up, and Sam and Dean have to react impossibly fast.

Three are easily beheaded, but the rest of them throw at Sam and Dean. Dean manages to inject dead man’s blood on one of them, leaving him paralyzed on the floor, but the other two are on top of Dean, trying to bite him and kill him. He hears Sam beheading some of them and throwing away another one that collapses onto the two that are on top of Dean, freeing him. Dean seizes the moment and beheads another one, but he is soon thrown onto the floor, his knife ending somewhere far from his reach.

Dean tries to get away from that vampire’s grip but he can’t, she is gripping him too tight. She is about to bite him when a hand tilts her head up and beheads her. Cas looks really pissed at Dean before he beheads the vampire who is paralyzed on the floor because of the dead man’s blood. Sam is beheading the last one and his neck is bleeding slightly, but it isn’t an important injure.

All the vampires are killed and Dean moves away the beheaded body resting on top of him and he stands up. He looks at Sam, who nods, telling him that he is fine, and then, Dean looks at Castiel, who is glaring at him with all the anger in his being.

“You told me to look downstairs because you didn’t want me here, didn’t you?!” Castiel yells really pissed off and furious. He walks the distance that separates them, leaving a few feet in between.

“Yeah, I did, so?” Dean says casually, as if it wasn’t such a big deal.

Castiel squints his eyes in anger. “So?!” Dean hasn’t seen him as angry as he is now, and he has seen Cas really furious, but never like this. “You thought I wasn’t going to be able to kill them! You wanted me out of here! You don’t have to protect me, Dean! I can take care of this too by myself!”

“I didn’t want to take any risks!” he yells angry, but not as much as Cas. He wanted to protect him, because vampires are really dangerous and he didn’t want to risk Cas’ life.

“If I didn’t have come in time, you would have died!”

“But I didn’t, right?!”

Castiel presses his lips into a thin a tight line, and Dean knows that if Cas was still an angel, he would be burning him with his eyes. “Fuck you, Dean!” And he walks away from the room, really pissed off.

Dean huffs and rolls his eyes, and he catches Sam looking at him in a reproaching way. “What?”

“You shouldn’t have sent him to check downstairs,” Sam starts to say.

“I was protecting him,” he snaps all defensive.

“He doesn’t need protection, Dean.” He is pissed off too. “How many times has he saved our lives? And you just sent him away because you have to be the one protecting everyone!” He is also really frustrated. This isn’t the first time he and Sam have this conversation.

“We have to burn these bodies,” Dean simply says and he walks out of that room, hearing the frustrated groan that Sam makes, but he ignores it. He walks out of the mansion, going towards the Impala, where Castiel is. They don’t look at each other while Dean opens the trunk to leave his knife. Cas does the same. Then, he grabs the gas and closes the trunk, walking towards the house. He turns around, seeing that Cas isn’t coming. “Are you coming or not? We have to burn the bodies.”

“Am I allowed to do that?” Castiel snaps really angry. “Or is fire too dangerous for me?”

Dean clenches his jaw and gives Cas his deadliest and most pissed off glare. “You are behaving like a child!”

“Because that’s what I am for you, right?! I am a useless child that needs protection and who can’t do anything!”

“I’m not having this argument right now!” he yells and turns around showing his back to Cas.

“Then screw you, Dean Winchester!”

 

_____

 

Dean and Sam burn the bodies. After that, they get in the Impala, where Cas already is and Dean drives them back home. They don’t say a single thing during the whole drive, which is the worst, because it is a six hour long drive, but they are pissed off and the tension can be sensed all the way back to the bunker, but there is no way they are going to talk about it in the car.

They don’t even stop to eat and Dean neither plays his music. The only sound that can be heard is the purr of the Impala. He doesn’t even look at Cas for a single moment. Sam sometimes looks at the two of them, but he doesn’t say anything, he just takes a deep breath. This is the worst drive Dean has ever done in his whole life.

When they arrive to the bunker and the Impala is parked in the garage, Cas is the first one to step out of the car and he walks away from there, without saying a word. Dean watches him leave and he inhales sharply in frustration, walking towards the trunk to grab the bag with all his stuff and Castiel’s.

“He is really pissed off, Dean,” Sam says.

“Yeah? I didn’t notice it,” Dean snaps. Sam makes that frustrated and angry pout of his. “I’m gonna take a shower,” he says, walking away from his brother, because he doesn’t want to have this conversation.

Dean walks towards his and Castiel’s bedroom, and he finds that Cas’ old bedroom’s door is closer, which means that he is there. Dean rolls his eyes at that. He knows that Cas isn’t going to come out of that bedroom during the rest of the day, not even for dinner. If that’s what he wants to do, behave like an angry teenager, then he can do it. Dean doesn’t want to put up with that bullshit.

He leaves his bag on his bedroom and he goes to the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. The hunt was exhausting and so it was the drive back home, and his argument with Cas only added more frustration and tiredness to Dean. Thankfully, the good pressure of the shower plus the hot water helps him to relax his sore muscles. But he is still pissed off at Cas. He was protecting him. Cas should understand it. Dean knew he was going to be a bit angry with him, but not like this. Now Cas is locked up in that bedroom and he won’t talk to Dean for days. The ex-angel is sometimes more stubborn than Dean.

After the shower, Dean dries and he puts on his robe. He walks back to the bedroom and he puts on his underwear, a t-shirt and some sweatpants. The watch on his bedside table shows that it is past nine p.m., so he should make something for dinner. He hasn’t eaten in hours, and his stomach has been growling about it for a while, so he goes back to the kitchen to prepare something.

He decides to make a BLT sandwich and some French fries. He isn’t sure what Sam would want for dinner, but his little brother is a bit pissed off with him too, and Cas isn’t going to have dinner, so tonight, Dean only has to make dinner for one. It doesn’t take him too long and he is soon sitting at the kitchen table, enjoying his dinner. After so many hours without eating anything, the food tastes even better.

“Hey,” Sam says, stepping into the kitchen.

“Hey,” Dean simply says with his mouth full. He watches how Sam grabs some tomatoes, lettuce and olive oils from the fridge; he is clearly going to make himself a salad for supper.

“Have you talked to him?” Sam asks as he cuts some tomatoes.

“No.”

“Are you going to?”

Dean exhales sharply. “Maybe tomorrow.” He would try it, although he knows that Cas would still be pissed off and he won’t want to talk to him. Although there is nothing to talk about; Dean was protecting Cas and Cas reacted like a little kid. End of discussion. “For now, he’s locked in his old bedroom.”

Sam lets out a huff. “You two are unbelievable.”

“He’s the one behaving like a five year old kid!” he protests and looks at his brother.

“And you too!” he snaps, and Dean glares his little brother, who looks at him with both eyebrows raised. “You are just sitting here believing that you are the one who is right about this, when you aren’t,” he explains, this time with a lower voice. Dean is about to say something, but Sam keeps talking, looking at him a bit fiercely. “You should think about what happened today, Dean. And I’m not gonna say anything else about it because you should figure this out by yourself. He is your boyfriend.”

Dean frowns confused at that, not fully understanding what Sam means, but he just makes a confused face and he keeps eating. Sam soon joins him with his salad, and they eat in silence, but at least, this time, the silence isn’t as awkward and tense as it was in the car.

 

_____

 

For the first time in a lot of weeks, Dean goes to bed alone, and he hates how cold and lonely it feels. The bed seems bigger and emptier than always, and it sucks. Dean rolls to the other side, showing his back to the empty space that belongs to Castiel. He has been trying to fall asleep but he can’t. Not only because everything feels colder than it should be, but also because in the back of his mind, there is a voice telling him that he fucked things up. Dean ignores it, keeping it as quieter as he can, but it doesn’t shut up.

He rolls onto the bed for the hundred time, looking at the ceiling, although the room is all dark and he can’t see a thing, but he is staring at the darkness that belongs to the ceiling. It has been a really long day and he is really tired, he should be sleeping, he should have fallen asleep the moment his back was against the mattress, but here he is, unable to fall asleep. And that’s because Cas isn’t in bed with him.

They are pissed off at each other, and they aren’t going to sleep in the same bed, but Dean knows he can’t sleep if Cas isn’t next to him. But he is mad at him, because Cas doesn’t understand that Dean did what he did to protect him, to not get him hurt, and Cas got mad at him and locked in his bedroom, without saying a word to Dean. And it feels as if it was all Dean’s fault, which is not. He isn’t going to apologize because he didn’t do anything wrong.

Again, Dean rolls onto his bed, never finding a comfortable stance, feeling cold and lonely. Stupid Cas and his stupid tantrum. It is all his fault that Dean can’t sleep tonight. He rolls again, hating that his brain can’t disconnect and go straight to sleep. He is restless and frustrated and it is getting on his nerves. His fingers brush the black feather that Cas gave him for his birthday. He grunts at the cold feeling and the empty scape on their bed. It shouldn’t be this hard to fall asleep.

Finally, he kicks off the sheet and the quilt, making a frustrated sound. He gets out of bed and he walks away from his bedroom, without putting his slippers on, and he walks towards the bedroom that belonged to Cas before they got together. He opens the bedroom door, the bedroom lightening with the hall’s lights.

Castiel moves in his bed and looks at Dean. “What the hell are you doing here?” Castiel asks with an angry voice. It is clear that his tantrum hasn’t faded away.

“It seems that now I can only sleep if we’re on the same bed,” Dean answers, sounding as sharp as Castiel. He closes the door, making the bedroom fade into darkness.

“And you are going to get in the bed with me? I’m mad at you,” he hisses in the darkness.

“I am it too, so don’t worry about it,” he snaps as he walks towards the bed. He hits his toes against the bedpost and he lets out a painful hiss. “Son of a bitch!” The hit was hard and it made the bones of his leg to quake over it.

“You couldn’t have switched on the lights or what?” he sasses, still with that sharp and angry voice.

“Are you gonna complain about everything I do and say?” he mutters as he caresses his hurt toes. He didn’t break any bone, but it still hurts like a bitch.

Castiel huffs. “For fuck’s sake Dean, get in the damn bed and shut up.”

Dean manages to get into that narrow bed without hitting against anything. They are lying aside and their backs are touching. They try to move away, but there is no more mattress, so they have to stay in that stance.

“Are you going to apologize or not?” Castiel asks after a while. His voice hasn’t abandoned that sharpness and coldness.

“I’m not gonna apologize because there’s nothing I have to be sorry about. In any case you are the one who should be apologizing,” Dean snaps. It seems that coming to this bedroom to sleep with Cas wasn’t a good idea.

“You are insane if you think I should be the one apologizing.” He moves away a little, but not too much. This is a queen size bed, not a king one like the one in their bedroom. “You are the one who made me look downstairs because you didn’t want me with the vampires.”

“And you are the one who is being a dick because I protected you.”

“I can take care of myself, Dean. I don’t need you to pull me away from the danger. I’ve been fighting for centuries, I’ve fought armies and things you don’t even know they exist, so don’t bullshit me.” He doesn’t yell, but his voice is loud and full of anger. “But it seems that I’m just a weak and useless man for you now that I’m human.”

“You aren’t weak or useless. You are vulnerable, which is quite different.” As Cas’ voice, Dean’s is quite loud and showing all his anger and his frustration.

“And you are vulnerable too!”

“But I’m not important!” There’s a silence after Dean’s words, and Dean knows that Cas must be even angrier with him and he must be willing to say something, so Dean talks again, “I can’t let you die, Cas,” he whispers. “It would hurt too much.”

Castiel switches on the light and Dean doesn’t move. He feels how Cas shifts next to him, the mattress moving and squeezing under them. “And do you think it wouldn’t hurt me if you died?” he says with a hurt and angry voice. “I’m really tired of this, Dean.” At that, Dean turns his face to look at Cas. His blue eyes are glassy and his face shows that he is really pissed off. “I’m tired of you believing that you aren’t important in this relationship,” He hisses with a heartbreaking voice. “Damn it, Dean, I’m in love with you, we are together, and yet, it is like I am the only one who mattered. And you matter as much as I do. So do us a favor and stop giving such little care for yourself, because you matter.” He exhales sharply and he lies on the mattress, without turning off the lights.

Dean decides to roll, until he is lying on his right side and he can look at Cas, but Cas isn’t looking at his face. Cas’ words have touched him, and he can see how hurt Cas is. Truth is that Dean barely cares about himself, mostly because he thinks he doesn’t deserve any care, but Cas loves him and Dean can understand that he must be exhausted from all Dean’s shit he has to put up with.

“Do you know why I didn’t want to be with you?” Dean starts to ask. Castiel doesn’t move his eyes to look at him. “Because I thought I didn’t deserve you. I still think about it sometimes.” He sees how Castiel clenches his jaw and looks up, trying to hold his tears. “I’m poison, Cas, and you know it.”

“That’s not true,” he hisses.

“It is true, but—” He takes a deep breath. “You make me less poisonous, you make me a better person. You make me less broken.” At that, Castiel looks at his eyes. “Cas I—” He takes a deep breath and rubs his exhausted eyes. “I don’t know if I’m ever gonna stop feeling like crap, but whenever I’m with you, I feel good, I feel full of worth, and it’s all because of you.” He looks at Cas with honesty, and he can see a tiny glimpse of forgiveness in his eyes. “I’m becoming a freaking sap,” he says huffing. Castiel rolls his eyes and looks away. “I did what I did today, because I’m so fucking scared of losing you. You aren’t weak, Cas, hell, you are such a badass and strong dude who could beat the shit out of me in a few seconds.” He can see a tiny smile trying to make its way into Cas’ lips. “But you are vulnerable, like any human being, and the idea of you dying, I just— I can’t.”

“You are vulnerable too, and yet, I don’t keep you away from the danger. Every time we hunt, I’m scared of losing you, but I don’t tell you to go somewhere in order to get you out of there.”

“Well, you are the smart one in this relationship.” He sighs.

Castiel immediately turns his face to glare at Dean. “You are smart too, Dean.”

“Cas, I— Fuck, why do I have to suck with words?” He lets out a frustrated sigh and Castiel frowns in confusion. “What I was trying to say is that you are the mature one, the one who understands everything, while I am a complete mess who can’t put his feelings into words and fucks it up because I have fallen for you and I don’t wanna screw things up but I end up screwing everything because I have no idea how to do this and I don’t wanna lose you or hurt you and I’m such a fucking mess.” His words come out hurriedly and frustrated. He takes a deep breath. “You are so good in this relationship, you understand even what I can’t say, and—” He takes another deep breath. This time he is talking slower, but his heart is still beating really fast. “And I feel as if I was the biggest dick because I don’t do half of the awesome things you do for me. I guess that’s why I have the need to protect you, y’know?” He sighs again and he presses his forehead on Cas’ shoulder. “Because I want you to know that I care about you and that I would never forgive myself if something ever happened to you.”

“Dean.” Castiel exhales sharply and one of his hands goes towards Dean’s nape, his fingers brushing Dean’s hair. The touch makes Dean relax a little. “I know that you care about me, I know that you love me. And you do a lot of awesome things for me. You always cover me when I’m cold, you help me with anything I need, you make me smile all the time, you heal my wounds, you always know what I want even if I don’t say it… You do a lot of things for me.”

Dean inhales sharply and he fists the front of Castiel’s Henley’s shirt. “I’m sorry for doing what I did,” he murmurs with a broken voice. He is touched by what Cas just said. “But I will keep protecting you, but not like that. You know what I mean, right?”

“Yes, that you will keep taking care of me but you won’t apart me like you did today ever again.” He makes a soft smile. Dean nods. “But promise me that you will stop feeling like shit, as if you didn’t deserve any of this, because—”

“Cas,” Dean interrupts him. He props on his elbow and he leans onto Cas. His hands cup the ex-angel’s face. “You give me a reason to live,” he simply says. He has been wanting to tell Cas that for so long. It is the closest thing to that L word he can’t say, and it is the damn truth. Cas gives him a reason to wake up every single morning and to stay alive. It has been like that for years, and it was about damn time that Cas knew it.

Castiel gasps, shocked by Dean’s words. He cups Dean’s face and he kisses him. Dean feels a huge relief the moment their lips are pressed together. When they pull away, both of them are panting, and their eyes are full of tears that they are refusing to let out. 

“I love you,” Castiel whispers.

“Me too,” he says. He stays onto Cas and buries his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. Cas’ arms embrace him, his fingers moving soothingly and slowly on Dean’s back. “So we are good, again?”

“We are good again.” A smile appears on his lips and Dean finds himself making one as well.

There’s a tiny silence before Dean says, “It was just a matter of time that we had our first fight.”

“Yes.” Castiel hums and holds Dean tighter, making Dean smile and press a kiss on the line of Cas’ jaw. Suddenly, Castiel’s stomach growls and Dean looks at him with a questioning look.

“You didn’t eat in the whole day, right?”

“I was angry.”

Dean chuckles and he moves away. “C’mon, let me prepare you something for dinner.” He gets out of the bed and looks at Cas, who is still in there.

“Dean, it’s a bit late for that, you don’t have to—”

“Cas, I don’t want a second fight,” he says arching his eyebrows and giving him a warning look. Castiel sighs and rolls his eyes, but he starts to get out of the bed.

“Okay. But first let me see your toes. You almost shook me out of bed with that hit,” he says as he walks towards Dean, who chuckles and places his foot on the bed so Castiel can look at it better. Some of his toes are a bit swollen. “Does it still hurt you?” Dean shakes his head. “You should put some ice to reduce the inflammation.”

“I will after I make you dinner, c’mon.”

He grabs Castiel’s hand and they get out of that bedroom. Before they go to the kitchen, Dean gets in their bedroom and grabs their robes and their slippers. It is a bit chilly, and he doesn’t want any of them to get cold. Once they are with their robes and slippers, they walk towards the kitchen, holding their hands. It is really good to be nice again.

They arrive to the kitchen and Dean opens the fridge to look what he can do. He sees some green asparagus and he grabs them. Cas really likes them grilled. He shows them to Cas and the ex-angel nods with a happy smile. Dean washes them to remove any dirt on them and then he salts them. He is about to turn on the stove when Cas hugs him from behind.

“Hey,” Dean says as his hands come to rest on top of Castiel’s. “You good?”

“Yes, I am,” Castiel says kissing his cheek. “And you?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“Because I can see that you are still worried about our argument.” He rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder.

Dean huffs and looks down. “How the hell do you do it? Do you still have some mojo left? Because I—”

“Dean.” He turns Dean over, until they are facing each other. His hands are on Dean’s cheeks, cupping his face. Dean takes a deep breath and some tears fall down from his eyes. He lets out a sob. Things are good again, but he feels some kind of worry in his heart, and he isn’t sure why. “It’s okay,” Castiel says with a soothing smile and looking at Dean with so much love. “We talked and we fixed things, everything is all right.” His thumbs wipe off the trail of Dean’s tears.

“What if I fuck things up again?” he asks in a sob, thinking about this fight and the time he got the Mark and almost killed Cas.

“This was just a fight, Dean, you didn’t fuck up anything.”

“But what if I do someday?”

“You won’t.”

Dean chuckles bitterly. “You have a blind fate on me, Cas.”

“It’s the same fate you have on me, Dean.”

Dean smiles and kisses Cas tenderly and fondly. He can’t imagine how things would be if he didn’t have Cas in his life. “I’m a drama queen.”

“Sometimes,” he says chuckling and Dean rolls his eyes, but he chuckles too.

“You have to put up with a lot of my shit.” He grimaces guiltily.

“You have been putting up with mine before we got together, so…” He shrugs casually.

Dean looks at those beautiful blue eyes and he smiles before he kisses Cas again, pressing him impossibly closer, feeling his solid and warm body against his. “Thanks, Cas,” he says. Cas just nods and smiles. “Okay, I’m gonna make you dinner because you must be starving.”

But before Dean can go back to the stove, Castiel fists the front of his t-shirt and pulls him into a passionate kiss that leaves the two of them grinning.

 

_____

 

“Oh, hey,” Sam says surprised when he steps into the kitchen, finding Dean and Castiel kissing in there. “You guys made up?”

“Yeah.” Dean and Castiel say at the same time. Castiel blushes in that cute way of his that Dean finds too adorable. After Cas’ dinner, they went back to their bed and fell asleep quickly and they slept really good. And when they woke up, they greeted their morning with some lazy and really awesome make out session.

“That’s really good, guys,” Sam says with a wide smile and he grabs his mug to serve himself some coffee. “Cas, you have to tell me how you made Dean apologize.”

Dean shows his little brother his middle finger while Castiel laughs. “That would be really terrible for Dean’s badass reputation,” Castiel says. Dean gives him a deadly glare that earns him a cocky smile from Cas followed by a kiss on his cheek. “You get so cute when you are this grumpy.” The comment makes Sam laugh.

“You know, if Sam wasn’t here, I would start talking about your cock just to make you blush,” Dean says with a mischievous smirk. Castiel blushes a little and Sam chokes on his coffee.

“Dean, don’t make me picture things that I don’t want to,” Sam says with a disgusted voice.

Castiel gets closer and makes a challenging look. “Shall we talk about the freckles you have on your—”

“For fuck’s sake!” Sam exclaims frustrated. Dean and Castiel laugh as they look at Sam, who is giving them a really disgusted look and a deadly glare. “You two are the worst.”

“Sorry, Sam,” Castiel says with a beautiful smile. Then, he looks at Dean, who is grinning like an idiot and they share a sweet kiss. He walks away, and Dean keeps making their pancakes.

As Dean keeps making them, Cas and Sam are already sitting around the kitchen table, chatting. They are also eating some of the bacon that Dean has already made. Dean keeps some of it next to the stove and he eats some, because if he put all the bacon on the table, his brother and his boyfriend would eat all of it and by the time he got the chance to sit down, bacon would be completely gone.

Soon all the pancakes are made and Dean leaves them on the table. “Sam, do you want maple syrup?” Dean asks as he walks towards the fridge.

“Yeah,” Sam says.

“What about you, babe?” Dean asks turning to Castiel.

“Babe?” Sam chuckles and looks at Cas, whose blush is soon appearing on his cheeks and spreading through his ears. They have never used pet names before and it is weird. Dean said it unconsciously, and he is going to act as if it wasn’t such a big deal, so he just looks at Cas, waiting for an answer.

“I would like some chocolate syrup and cream, please,” Castiel manages to say after a while, the red of his blush still present. Dean didn’t intend to call him babe. It just slipped out of his tongue. If he keeps acting this casual, as if he didn’t care about it, neither he nor Cas would give it any importance at all.

Dean grabs everything Sam and Cas asked for and he leaves everything on the table. “Thanks, Dean,” Sam says grabbing the maple syrup and squeezing the bottle, dropping the red golden liquid onto the tiny tower of pancakes.

Once Dean is sitting beside Cas, the ex-angel looks at him. “Thank you,” Castiel starts to say. “Honey.”

Sam bursts into laughter while Castiel makes the biggest and cockiest smirk he has ever done. Dean is soon blushing too, as much as Castiel was before, but he looks at Cas and dedicates him a wide smile before he joins Sam’s laughter.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)

“Hey,” Dean says as he steps into the living room, where Sam is watching a documentary about Vikings. “Have you seen Cas?” He has looked for him in the greenhouse, in the library, in the kitchen and in their bedroom, but the ex-angel is nowhere to be seen.

“He said he had to go to buy something he needed,” Sam answers, not moving his eyes from the TV. “He also said that it wouldn’t take him too long.”

Dean nods and walks out from the living room. He finds it strange that Cas left without telling him; maybe he needed seeds for the greenhouse and he didn’t want to bother Dean. Although it wouldn’t have bothered him at all; the hunter enjoys going with Cas wherever they have to.

As Dean walks towards their bedroom to go a keep practicing with that awesome guitar he got for his birthday, he grabs his phone to check out the time. He stops in the middle of the hall when he realizes what day is today.

“Fuck,” Dean says to himself.

It’s Valentine’s Day, he completely forgot it. It has been years since he last cared about this date that he couldn’t remember that it was coming. Dean has found this holiday stupid; it feels as if you were forced to show your feelings for the person you are with only during a day, when it should be the whole year. On the other hand, it gives you a chance to do something special.

Dean knows that Cas might not know about this day and if he knows, he might have forgotten it. Still, Dean wants to give him something, he wants to do something that Cas likes; Dean isn’t fond on this holiday, but he suspects that Cas might like it and he wants it to be good for him. He could make a special dinner for the two of them, (he could take them to a restaurant, but everything must be booked for today), and he could buy him some nice flowers.

Without any more hesitation, Dean goes to their bedroom and grabs his leather jacket and his wallet, checking that he has enough money for flowers. Then, he goes back to the living room to inform Sam that he is going to buy some flowers for Cas because it is Valentine’s Day, but he mustn’t tell Cas. Dean doesn’t miss the smirk that his little brother makes at his words; he must be thinking that he thought he wasn’t going to live long enough to see his older brother buying flowers for his boyfriend. Honestly, Dean thought that he wasn’t going to see that either.

He drives to town; to a florist he has seen a couple of times. Every time Dean passes by, the store is always full of people, but not like today. He hasn’t been in the store before and he is surprised by the size of it. From the outside it seems small, but once you step inside, it is quite big and long.

Dean makes his way through the store, dodging all the people in it, looking at all the flowers. He doesn’t know which are Cas’ favorite flowers, so he doesn’t know which one he could get him. But he suddenly sees on the left side of the store some pretty blue flowers that remind him of Cas’ eyes, so he walks towards there.

When he gets in front of those flowers, Dean reads the yellow label that all the flowers in the florist have, indicating the name and the meaning. On name, there’s written _Forget-me-nots_ , and on meaning, there’s written _True Love_. Dean can’t help smiling at that. He didn’t know the name or the meaning of those flowers; he just saw them and thought they were perfect for Cas. He is going to buy these flowers for Cas, and hopefully, Cas will know the meaning.

He grabs a bouquet and he turns around to go and pay them when he finds Cas, standing there blushing, his eyes wide open and holding a bouquet of red roses. Dean blinks perplexed at the ex-angel a couple of times before he says, “Cas, what are you doing here?”

Cas’ blush deepens, reaching the tip of his ears. He rubs the back of his neck in a shy and nervous way. “It’s Valentine’s Day,” Castiel starts to say with a timid and sweet voice.

“Wait,” Dean says surprised. “You bought me roses?” Castiel’s answer is a nod and Dean can’t help the gin that makes its way into his lips. “Well, I—” He clears his throat and lifts the forget-me-not bouquet. “I’m gonna buy you these.”

Castiel’s eyes shine brighter at that, and it makes Dean’s heart skip a beat as he blushes. “Forget-me-nots,” he says with a beautiful smile. “How did you know they were my favorites?”

“I didn’t. I just saw them and thought you would like them.” He sounds really shy and he doesn’t know why. It must be because he isn’t good at romanticism and all that stuff. “Also I saw what they meant and—” With his head he points the label and Castiel turns his face to look at it. Dean doesn’t miss the soft gasp he lets out when he see the meaning.

“True love,” Castiel whispers, then he chuckles and Dean frowns at that. “Look at what red roses mean.” He points Dean where the red roses are, just a few steps away from where he stands, and he walks towards them.

“Oh,” Dean says when he reads that red roses mean true love as well. He turns his face to look at Cas, blushed and smiling, and Dean can’t help letting out a chuckle too. Both of them decided to buy different flowers that had the same meaning.

“I’m not sure if you like roses.” He sounds a bit nervous. Dean starts to walk towards him. “They seemed perfect but—” He can’t finish what he was saying because Dean leans to kiss him sweetly and passionately.

“Yeah, they are perfect,” he murmurs. “Gonna pay this.” He shows him the bouquet and Castiel nods. “Wait for me outside.”

Dean walks to the cashbox while Castiel walks on the opposite direction. Once Dean has paid, he leaves the florist and finds Cas leaning on a streetlight, waiting for him with a big smile on his lips. Dean walks towards him, bouquet in hand, big smirk on his face as he stands in front of Cas, only leaving a couple of inches.

“Will you be my valentine?” Dean asks, offering him the forget-me-nots bouquet.

Castiel rolls his eyes and smiles. “You are an assbutt.” He grabs the bouquet and he offers the one with roses he bought for Dean, who grabs them immediately.

Castiel fists the front of Dean’s t-shirt and he pulls him into a fervent but gentle kiss. It makes Dean’s knees go weak, so he fists the back of Castiel’s trench coat with his free hand to keep himself from falling.

When they pull away, they look at each other’s eyes and they are grinning gummily. Castiel brings the blue flowers to his nose and he smells them, closing his eyes at it. 

“Thank you so much for these, Dean.”

“You are welcome. And thank you for the roses.” Dean looks at them and lets the overwhelming smell of them to get to his nose. He lets out a happy sigh after that. “So this is what you needed to buy?”

Castiel hums in affirmation. “I remembered today was Valentine’s Day and I know humans celebrate it by giving gifts like these. Which it is really odd; Saint Valentine died after being stoned and beheaded. I don’t understand what he has to do with love after all.” He squints his eyes in confusion and tilts his head to one side.

“Wow, Cas, you are such a romantic guy.” He dedicates him a sarcastic grimace, earning him a glare form the ex-angel. Dean sighs and approaches him, embracing his waist. “Can I tell you something?”

“Is another sarcastic comment?”

“You are always sassing me, so I don’t know why you are complaining.” He pouts and he pushes Cas closer. Castiel chuckles. “Valentine’s Day is a silly day. What I feel about you isn’t just a thing of a day, Cas. And you know it.” He looks at Castiel’s eyes, fixed on his; he can see the love and adoration the ex-angel has for him.

“Then, if it is so silly, why did you come here to buy me flowers?”

“Because I wanted to do something special for you and it is nice to tell you what I can’t say with words with a bouquet,” he says with a charming smiling. He knows he is blushing, because whenever he lets out words like that, he feels a bit embarrassed, because he isn’t used to say things like that. “What about you?”

“I wanted to do something special for you too.” He answers with a beautiful smile. “I just wanted to surprise you.”

“You did,” he says smiling and leaning to kiss him tenderly. Cas hums happily as their lips press together.

“I even bought you a heart-shaped chocolate box. I wanted a heart-shaped pie, but they didn’t have any,” he adds with a guilty smile.

“Babe, you are the best.” Dean chuckles and kisses him, this time more passionately. “I’m gonna make you for dinner those burgers you adore.”

Castiel’s grin gets wider and kisses Dean again.

 

_____

 

“Sam!” Dean yells angry and frustrated after Sam has taken a photo of he and Cas having dinner in the library. They try not to eat there, unless it is Christmas or a birthday, because it is further from the kitchen, although whenever they order a pizza they always eat there.

“I had to!” Sam says with a wide grin. “Charlie needs proof! She wouldn’t believe me if I told her you two are eating with candlelight.”

“There’s no candlelight, you little shit!” Dean is about to stand up, but Sam quickly runs away from the library, giggling. His little brother sometimes is like a little kid.

“We need to reveal the photos one of these days,” Castiel simply says. Dean looks at him, surprised that he isn’t annoyed that Sam just snapped a photo of the two of them. “I think you might want to get the ones from your birthday in your album, right?” He grabs some French fries and eats them.

Dean hums. “Why aren’t you mad at him?”

“Sam just took a photo of us, why should I be mad at him?” he asks confused. His eyes do that squinty thing that Dean adores. “It’s not the first time he or Charlie does that.” He grabs the burger to take another bit, but before he does it, he says, “I like those photos.”

“I meant about interrupting us.”

“Oh,” he says with a thoughtful face. “I would be bothered if they stepped in our bedroom and they interrupted us while we are having sex.”

Dean chuckles. “If they ever did that, I would go and haunt their asses.”

“And do you think I would let you leave me in bed alone so you can do that?” He sounds really sassy and Dean can’t help laughing. He cups Cas’ cheek and kisses him. “Dean,” he says when they are no longer kissing.

“Yeah?”

Those stunning blue eyes look directly at Dean’s green ones, and Dean wants to let Cas drown him into that sea. “I have never been as happy as I am now that I’m with you.”

It might be one of the cheesiest things Dean has ever heard in his life, but it is the first time that somebody tells him something like that. He is speechless and moved. Cas is looking at him as if he was the one who held starts upon the sky and Dean feels overwhelmed.

“Cas I—” Dean sighs and presses their foreheads together, closing his eyes. He envies Cas’ facility with words. “I haven’t either,” he whispers softly. “I’m so fucking happy with you.” He opens his eyes and looks at the beautiful sea.

Castiel smiles and cups Dean’s face, pressing a brief kiss on his lips. “Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable.”

"Yeah, well,"Dean chuckles. “Sorry for sucking at this.”

Both of them chuckle and pull away, getting back to eat Dean’s homemade burgers. Their conversation drifts to some other topics. Soon, they finish dinner and they go to the kitchen to wash and dry the dishes, a task that doesn’t last long. The moment the last fork is on its place, Castiel grabs Dean’s hand and they run towards their bedroom.

As Cas pulls him, holding their hands tightly and running down the hall, Dean feels good and happy. It still amuses how happy Cas makes him feel with such things like this. He takes away all his crap and makes him forget about it.

Once they are in their bedroom, after closing the door behind, they start to kiss needy, desperately and spiritedly. Dean’s knees tremble again, as if they were turned into jelly; Cas is a really good kisser and he manages to take Dean’s breath away.

They make their way to the bed, never parting their lips. Dean falls onto the mattress and he pulls Cas down with him. Cas’ hands are everywhere and so are Dean’s. Both of them are already half hard and clothes are annoying, so they waste so little time of taking each other’s clothes, ending naked really quickly.

Dean thanks the feel of Castiel’s warm skin under his palms as he traces down his back, and he is even more grateful for feeling Cas’ skin on the rest of his body. His hands soon arrive to his buttocks and he grips them tightly, making Castiel move his lips from Dean’s to let out a gasp.

“Dean!” he says with a cute grimace.

The hunter bites his lower lip and repeats the action, provoking the same reaction from Cas. “You’ve got a really firm ass.” Dean smirks.

Castiel chuckles and he kisses Dean again, pushing his tongue inside Dean as he rubs his hard cock against Dean’s, making both of them moan. Castiel plays with Dean’s bottom lip before he pulls his mouth completely from Dean’s. He starts to press kisses on Dean; his chin, his jaw, his neck, his collarbone and his chest. As he does so, his fingers brush both nipples, pinching them gently and Dean bites his lower lip, looking at Cas through his eyelashes.

One of his hands is replaced by his warm and wet tongue and Dean moans pleased and relieved. He enjoys the way Cas’ tongue works on his nipple and the gently, almost shy, nibbling on it. The ex-angel dedicates the same attention to his other nipple before his kisses go lower, leaving some hickeys on his hips, making Dean buck his hips.

Soon Cas’ mouth is on Dean’s swollen, freckled cock, kissing it chastely. Dean giggles at that. “Can’t keep your pretty mouth out of my cock?” Dean breathes out.

Cas kisses the head of his cock, his tongue darting out to lick it as one of his hands caresses his shaft. “You do know well the answer to that.” Castiel uses his sexy voice to say that, making wild things to Dean’s inners.

He licks the vein as his fingers squeeze his cock’s head. Dean lets out a loud groan and bucks his hips harder, something that makes Castiel smirk. His lips wrap around the head of Dean’s cock, but he doesn’t suck Dean in deeper; he plays with his lips and mouth on that place of Dean’s cock, and it drives Dean crazy, because he is so desperate to fuck into that pretty mouth of him, but Cas’ hands are on his hips, keeping him in place.

Cas moves away, going to press several kisses on the inner of Dean’s thighs. Dean likes how Cas’ stubble feels against his sensitive skin. He also leaves some hickeys there that make Dean fist the sheets. A few more kisses and Castiel is lying onto Dean and leaning to kiss him. Dean seizes the moment and places his hand on Cas’ nape, bringing him closer so he can give him a dirty and breathless kiss. When they pull away, Cas is panting.

“Dean,” Castiel says. “On your stomach, please.”

Dean arches his brow suggestively. “Wanna fuck me like that, Cas?” They have always fucked face to face, and knowing that Cas wants to try that new stance arouses Dean. Castiel nods, and Dean kisses him briefly before he says, “Good.” And he rolls onto his stomach.

He feels how Cas kisses his back and how his hands map the curves of it, travelling all the way up and down. Dean also feels how Cas’ cock tentatively brushes his rim and Dean finds himself arching his back so he can feel it better.

Cas leans onto his back and kisses the skin under his ear, getting Dean’s earlobe in between his lips after it. Dean rocks his hips needy, aching to feel Cas inside him as Cas’ hands round the sides of Dean’s ass.

“Cas—” Dean moans needy.

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Castiel says again with that sexy, low voice. “I’m going to take care of you.” He presses a kiss on his shoulder. “You are so beautiful that I have to praise every inch of you.”

Dean lets out a shaky gasp that it almost sounds like a whimper. Whenever Cas says something like that while they are about to have sex or already having it, Dean feels more moved and more overwhelmed than usual.

He hears the tap of the lube and Cas squeezing the bottle. Dean turns his face to look at him; damn, he is so beautiful. Dean smiles fondly and Castiel catches his sight, dedicating him a tender smile. He leans to kiss Dean slowly before he gets his finger inside him. Dean makes a relieved sigh at it.

They kiss as Cas keeps opening Dean, who makes little moans all the time. But when Cas’ third finger gets in and goes directly to his prostate, Dean has to pull away to let out a loud moan that shakes his whole body. Cas smirks and kisses the corner of his mouth, pushing his fingers deeper. Dean fists the pillow and shakes his hips, fucking into those fingers, but Cas moves them away quickly, just to add the fourth. He scissors them and touches Dean’s prostrate again, earning him another loud moan.

He removes his fingers and puts on a condom, lubing it with his hand before he cleans it with a wipe. His hands meet Dean’s, which are resting on the pillow. Castiel’s fingers slide in between Dean’s as he settles onto him, the head of his cock pressing into Dean’s entrance. They look at each other with soft smiles drawn on their lips and Castiel starts to push into the tightness and warmth of Dean.

Cas’ hands hold Dean’s tighter as he pushes deeper. Both of them are holding their breath as Cas keeps sliding into Dean. The moment he is fully settled inside him, both let out a relieved sigh, feeling able to breathe again.

The ex-angel hums a moans and Dean smiles. “You doing good?” Dean mumbles. He turns his face a little to look at the other man.

Castiel nods and hums in affirmation. “I like how tight and warm you are around me.” 

His words make Dean let out a soft happy moan. Castiel kisses his freckled shoulder and he starts to rock his hips slowly, his whole body sliding delicately onto Dean as he thrusts back.

Dean moans and gasps, arching his back and rocking his hips at the same rhythm. Their bodies move in unison, their lines and curves fitting together like a perfect puzzle. Cas thrusts back inside with the same delicacy and gentleness. He presses his forehead against Dean’s nape and Dean feels how Cas’ panting breathing caresses his skin.

This feels like making love. Both of them know it. Dean has never been fucked like this, but if he had ever had, it wouldn’t have felt as good as this because Cas is the one making him love. Another person wouldn’t have made Dean feel as loved as Castiel is making him feel right now.

“Dean, you are so beautiful,” Castiel breathes out before he kisses the space in between Dean’s blades. “You are so damn beautiful.” The speed of his thrusts increase slightly but he is still doing it sweetly and gently.

“Cas—” Dean moans. His hands tighten Castiel’s and he grinds into him, feeling how Cas trembles.

“You don’t have any idea how beautiful you are, Dean.” He is panting. Dean isn’t sure how he can be able to talk right now. “Your eyes are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” he whispers. His thrusts don’t stop and they are maddeningly good. Dean moans and presses his face on the pillow. “You have entire galaxies in your body as the shape of freckles.” 

He moans when Dean clenches around him, wanting to feel more and Castiel presses their bodies together, without leaving any inch in between them.

“Dean—” Castiel moans, almost whimpers. “Your body is so warm and soft,” he keeps saying and Dean lets out a whimper as well. Cas is praising him with that voice, sounding so moved that it’s too much for Dean. “You face is the dream of every artist this world has ever seen and will ever see.”

“Cas— please.”

“And you are so wonderful, Dean,” he says. His cock hits that sweet spot and Dean moans and groans, curling his toes as his whole body bucks, pressing against the solid body of Cas. “You are so selfless, so intelligent, so generous, so careful, so loyal, so brave, so righteous.” Every word is whispered along with a thrust, getting into Dean’s skin.

Dean doesn’t know how he can breathe. Cas’ words and movements are more than he can take. Castiel is praising him and Dean knows that he means every single word he says. It makes Dean’s throat form a limp and the only thing he can let out is a whimper mixed with a moan.

Cas’ sweet and delicious thrusts keep driving Dean crazy. He touches that sweet spot again and Dean’s whole body shakes as he lets out a loud moan. Castiel moans as loud as him, even louder in Dean’s opinion. His hands tighten and he presses his body against Dean again, not wanting to leave any tiny space in between. The speed of his thrusts increase, getting madder and Dean feels blessed and rapt.

“I love you so much, Dean. I love you. I love you,” Castiel breathes out desperate.

His heart is beating out of time and Dean wishes he could tell Cas those words, but they never make it to his tongue. But he hopes that Cas knows.

Despite of increasing the speed of his thrusts, this is still making love. Their movements are sweeter and more delicate than usually and it feels better than anything. Both of them are a mess of pants and moans. Dean can feel his orgasm building in his stomach and judging how Cas’ cock is twitching inside him, he is really close too.

It only takes them a few more thrusts, Cas’ cock hitting that wonderful sweet spot, making Dean moan, clench and squirm, and both of them are coming. No one of them moves a single inch during the afterglow. They are panting, feeling boneless and exhausted. It is just their bodies pressed together, Cas still buried inside Dean and their hands still laced together.

Dean feels how Cas kisses his nape and nuzzles it. “Everything I said,” Castiel says with a hoarse voice that shows he is drained. “It didn’t upset you, right?”

“No,” Dean whispers. He brings Castiel’s hand to his lips and kisses it. He feels Cas relaxing onto him, letting a happy sigh as he rests his cheek on Dean’s back. “This was really good,” he says after a while.

Castiel hums happily. “It was.” He pulls his softening cock out of Dean, who grunts a bit displeased as he feels the emptiness left inside him. But Cas kisses his lips to make up for it. Dean smiles at it.

Cas rolls onto his back and he takes off the condom, knotting it before he throws it to the bin. Cas turns his head to his left side to look at Dean, still on his stomach and looking at the ex-angel with a fond expression. Cas is all flushed and sweaty. Some lock of hair is stuck on his forehead while the rest is a wild mess. Dean immediately moves until he is on top of Cas, kissing him tenderly and fervently.

“You got to kiss me everywhere before,” Dean says as his mouth goes to Castiel’s lobe, catching it in between his lips. “I have an urge to kiss every inch of you.”

“Dean.” Castiel giggles. His hands move sweetly on Dean’s back and in his hair. “That’s one of the cons of that stance.” He lets out a sweet moan when Dean starts to suck his pulse, digging his nails in Dean’s scalp.

“That’s why I’m seizing this moment to kiss every part of you that I couldn’t.” He smirks and kisses Castiel’s lips. After that, his mouth keeps working on Castiel’s neck, kissing, nibbling and sucking.

His kisses aren’t meant to be arousing; Dean only wants to kiss Cas everywhere. When he leaves his neck, Dean starts to kiss his chest, kissing him chastely, hearing how Cas hums happily and looking through his eyelashes at the blue eyed man.

“You know you are beautiful, right?” Dean says as he kisses Cas’ abdomen.

Cas’ fingers brush Dean’s hair playfully. “Not as much as you.”

He rests his chin on Cas’ stomach and makes a bitchface. “Don’t underestimate yourself, Cas,” he says with a determined voice. Cas rolls his eyes and Dean sits on his lap, resting his hands on his chest. “You are fucking beautiful.” He leans and kisses the skin above his navel. Castiel makes a happy sigh and Dean goes back to praise Cas’ body with kisses.

Dean kisses his hips, the head of his cock, which makes Castiel giggle, the inner or his thighs, his legs and his feet. He tours Castiel’s body again, only in reverse, ending his journey with a passionate and heated kiss on Cas’ swollen lips.

“I L word you,” Dean says.

“L word you?” Castiel asks frowning.

Dean rolls his eyes and lies aside. “You know what I meant.”

“I know, I know.” He kisses Dean tenderly, cupping his chin. Dean makes a pleased moan. “I L word you too.” It makes Dean grin widely. There’s a tiny silence in between them before Castiel’s fingers brush the black feather that belonged to him and he says, “You haven’t take it off once.”

“Why would I do that?” he asks scowling at him. His eyes go to look at the feather too.

Castiel looks at his eyes, showing one of his prettiest smiles. Dean knows Cas only shows that smile to him. He caresses his cheek and leans to kiss him as fondly as possible. When they pull away, Castiel lets out a happy sigh and he holds Dean tightly, pressing him against his side, and Dean tangles his legs with Cas and holds him tighter.

They don’t say anything else; they don’t need to. They already know.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> And a big thank you to Christina for betaing this chapter :D

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Dean asks as he packs some shirts in his travel bag. He tries to fold them carefully, but they each of them end up folded in a different way.

Castiel arches a brow. “Is this about you trying to protect me again?”

“No. This is about me worrying about you burning the kitchen,” he says looking at Castiel with a warning stare.

Last week they went on a hunt and Castiel sprained his ankle. He is better now, but he can’t run and he still has some difficulty when it comes to walking. Sam found a case in Oregon and he and Dean are going there, but Cas is going to stay at the bunker. It’s his decision, and Dean respects it, but he is a little worried about the ex-angel. He knows he has nothing to worry about, Cas can take care of himself, but Dean doesn’t want to leave him alone.

“So what you are saying is that the kitchen more important than me?” Castiel asks with a confused frown.

Dean squints his eyes and then he sees the smirk Cas is making, which makes Dean chuckle. “You’re teasing me,” Dean says laughing. He walks the distance that separates him from Cas and he rests his hands on his hips. “Sometimes you take everything too literal that I don’t even longer know when you’re teasing me or just being Cas.”

“I don’t take everything too literal.” He squints his eyes and makes a grimace.

Dean smiles at Cas’ cuteness. “No. Just a few things.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Okay, a few things.”

Dean’ smile gets bigger and kisses him. “You sure you’re gonna be okay?” His thumbs make soothing circles on his hips, feeling the soft fiber of the shirt Castiel is wearing.

“Dean—”

“I’m worried, that’s all.” He looks at his eyes, letting him see that he is actually worried. “I know that you’re gonna be fine Cas, but I’m worried.”

Castiel cups Dean’s face and presses a sweet kiss. “I’ll be fine, Dean. And if I burn the kitchen I’m sure you will be able to see it from Oregon and drive back here in less than a minute.”

Dean starts to laugh and Castiel makes a beautiful grin. “Yeah, so you better not make me see black smoke in the horizon.”

“You are never going to forget those burnt pancakes, are you?”

“Nope.” He shakes his head. It happened once after Cas’ back was fully healed; he wanted to thank Sam and Dean everything and he tried to make pancakes. They ended up looking as if somebody poured lava on them.

Sam comes and knocks on the opened door. “You ready?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, wait a second.” He kisses Cas passionately, feeling how Cas runs his fingers through his hair and presses their bodies closer as Dean slides his tongue inside his mouth.

Sam clears his throat behind them, but neither Dean nor Cas care about it. Dean knows he will be back soon, but he is going to miss Cas. He has seen him every single day since Cas started to live in the bunker, and although he is going to call him, it will fell odd to not see the ex-angel for all these days the hunt is going to last. They must have an awesome goodbye.

When they pull away, once their lungs are practically screaming for air, they look at each other and Dean caresses his cheek. “I L word you,” Dean whispers.

Castiel chuckles. “I love you too.” Before Dean completely pulls away, Cas steals him a brief kiss. Dean is really going to miss those kisses.

“Are you gonna be fine, Cas?” Sam asks.

“Yes. You should be more worried about Dean pining over me.”

Dean glares him and Castiel smirks as Sam laughs. Sometimes he underestimates Cas’ sense of humor and teasing. “You aren’t gonna do better.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and Dean grabs his travel back, but he gives Castiel another worry look. He knows he is going to be fine, but Dean wishes he could come with them.

“See you, Cas.” Dean and Sam say at the same time.

“See you, guys.”

 

_____

 

“Found anything?” Dean asks as he closes behind him the motel room. He carries a plastic bag with Chinese food for their supper and he leaves it on the table, where Sam is sitting and looking in his laptop for any other unusual death.

“No,” Sam says frustrated. Dean hands his little brother fried rice as he sits down in front of him, enjoying the smell of the food as he opens the container. “I’ve been looking for any unusual, weird or macabre death, but the only thing I’ve found it’s the thing that made us come here.” He rubs his face and starts to eat his food. “What about you? Did the wife tell you anything?”

“Good husband, good father and good friend,” he answers with his mouth full. “I didn’t find any electromagnetism or hex bag. For all I know, the guy was a saint. So any kind of revenge is discarded.”

“We know it isn’t a werewolf because it wasn’t full moon when he died, but his heart was missing.” Sam makes a thoughtful face and sighs. “We should better check out dad’s journal to find what other beings eat hearts.”

Dean nods. Suddenly, his mobile beeps and he grabs it; he has a text message from Cas. When he opens it, he can’t help a smile. Cas sent him two pictures; the first one shows some ravioli with tomato sauce and the other one shows said pasta but he can also see the kitchen. After those photos, Cas wrote, **no black smoke :)**

Sam frowns confused. “What?”

“Here.” Dean hands him his mobile phone and Sam laughs. “What a dork,” Dean says grinning and grabbing his phone to answer Cas, **that’s my cas ;)**

“Look at you sending messages to your boyfriend.” His little brother makes that acute, teasing voice and Dean rolls his eyes.

“Shut up.” He makes a ball with a napkin and throws it at his little brother’s head, which only makes the taller Winchester laugh. “I hate you.”

Sam chuckles. “So, you two are really good together, huh?”

Dean’s cheeks acquire a slight blush. “Yeah,” he says shyly. “We are really good. I didn’t expect things could be this good, y’know?”

“Why? Because you thought that Cas didn’t love you and he deserved better?” he asks with an obvious face. Dean glares him, although he knows that Sam isn’t lying; those were Dean’s biggest fears when it come to get together with Cas. Sometimes he still thinks about it. “You are too transparent sometimes, Dean.”

“Screw you, Sammy.”

His little brother lets out a happy laughter. “Even if you two are already together, you still get awkward when I talk about you two.” Dean looks at Sam with a done face as he chews. “Be thankful that Cas is really patient and compressive with you.”

“What has he told you?” he asks a bit alarmed.

“Nothing,” he answers frowning. “There’s no need to tell me anything, I have eyes and I know how you are with feelings.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. He rubs his eyes in a tired way. “He always knows, Sam. He’s so fucking awesome that he always knows what I can’t say. I still think he’s too fucking good for me.”

“He thinks that you are too good for him too.”

Dean lifts his eyes to look at Sam’s. “Really?” Sam’s answer to the question is a nod and a hum. How can Cas think that? Cas is the awesome one; not Dean. “Why?”

Sam shrugs casually. “He must have the same stupid reasons you’ve got.”

“Hey, don’t call him stupid,” he protests and throws another napkin to his brother, this time to his face. Sam laughs hysterically while Dean glares him.

“Aaawww, Dean Winchester is defending his boyfriend.”

“I’m gonna cut your hair while you sleep,” he threatens with a deadly glare, but Sam keeps laughing. “You are unbelievable.”

“Sorry, Dean, it’s just that it’s great to see you like this when you are with Cas or when you talk about him,” he explains with enthusiasm. “It’s been years since I saw you this happy and full of life.”

Dean chuckles and blushes. “Yeah, I know.”

 

_____

 

Before Dean gets in bed, he decides to call Cas. It isn’t too late, so he supposes that Cas must be still awake or about to go to bed. Sam is already in bed, covering himself and switching off the closest lamp to his bed. Both of them don’t like motels, but at least this one can be put in the list of the cleanest ones. This one doesn’t have strange stains on the sheets or a weird and intense smell coming from the bathroom. It is a nice motel, but Dean misses the bunker and his bedroom. And most of all, he misses Cas.

As the line beeps, Dean looks at the queen size bed where he is going to sleep. It isn’t like his memory foam king size bed and his boyfriend isn’t going to be sleeping next to him tonight. Once he and Cas got together, whenever they had to sleep in a motel because of a hunt, they shared bed. Usually, Sam gets another room, because he doesn’t want to have his brother and his best friend having sex in the same room he is. Even if they have to sleep in the same room as Sam, they sleep in the same bed.

“ _Hello Dean,_ ” Castiel says when he picks up his mobile phone.

Hearing his voice makes Dean smile and feel a heartwarming sensation. “Hey Cas,” Dean says. “I didn’t wake you up, right?”

“ _No. I was awake. I was reading in bed._ ”

Dean’s smile gets wider. “How are you? Is your ankle getting better?”

“ _I’m good, Dean. And yes, my ankle is getting better. Now I can walk longer without feeling pain, but I still need some more time to get well._ ” His voice is soft and it feels as if it was caressing Dean’s face. “ _How are you?_ ”

“I’m good.”

“ _How’s the hunt going?_ ”

Dean sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “We know it’s not a werewolf, but we have like five creatures that eat human’s heart, so tomorrow we’re gonna go to the morgue and see the corpse and try to find something we might missed and that could tell us what killed him.”

Castiel hums in affirmation. “ _If you need me to search for something in the library let me know._ ”

“Yeah.”

There’s a small silence in between them before Castiel speaks again. “ _Bunker is lonely without you two._ ” It makes Dean chuckle. “ _And our bed seems bigger than before. And colder and lonelier._ ”

“You know, if Sam wasn’t here right now, we could have some phone sex to make you feel less lonely.”

“Dude, don’t be gross!” Sam grunts.

Dean laughs and he can swear he can hear Cas rolling his eyes. “ _I don’t understand the appealing of phone sex. It’s just masturbation._ ”

“What’s wrong with masturbation?” Dean asks confused. He doesn’t miss the deadly and warning glare his little brother gives him.

“ _It’s not the same,_ ” he explains casually. “ _It can feel good, but it isn’t like when you touch me. It’s just my fingers, not yours. The arousal isn’t the same and when I come because of you, I feel better than when it is because of my hand, there’s—_ ”

“Cas.” Dean interrupts, almost gasping. “If you keep talking like this, Sam is gonna be really pissed off.” He looks at Sam, who makes a disgusted noise and rolls on the bed, until he is showing his back to Dean. He mutters something that Dean doesn’t get.

“ _Why are you—?_ ” Castiel starts to ask. Dean can picture him doing that squinty look. “ _Was that arousing you?_ ” His voice is full of confusion.

“A little; I’ve got a vivid imagination.” He exhales sharply and rubs the back of his neck nervously. Dean already told Cas that sometimes he used to masturbate in the shower and he thought about him, but he doesn’t know all the things he thought about him; things that they have done more than once since they got together.

Castiel chuckles. “ _You are unbelievable, Dean._ ”

“I know.” He smiles. He knows that Cas must be smiling as well. “I should better go to sleep,” he begins to say. “Don’t do anything that can get your ankle worse.”

“ _Dean,_ ” he says with an irritated huff.

“Just take care, okay?”

Castiel sighs. “ _You too,_ ” he says worried. “ _I want you back in one piece. And Sam too._ ” It makes Dean smile. “ _When will you come back?_ ”

“Dunno. In two days or so, I guess. Nothing’s sure. I’ll let you know.”

He hums. “ _Don’t do anything reckless._ ”

“When haven’t I been reckless?”

The ex-angel makes a sweet laugh and Dean would give anything to see him now. “ _Be careful, Dean._ ”

“I will.”

“ _I love you._ ”

“I L word you too, Cas.” He closes his eyes and lets out a sigh. “Goodnight.”

“ _Goodnight._ ”

He hangs up and gets in bed, switching off the lamp, the room fading into darkness. He hates how cold the bed is and he misses the warm and solid body of Cas next to his, with his limbs wrapped around him and his soft breathing lulling him to sleep. Cas must feel the same. He touches Cas’ feather, hidden under his t-shirt, feeling the softness of it beneath his fingertips and he makes a nostalgic smile.

 

_____

 

It turned out to be a lamia. After a priest blessed a silver knife, Sam and Dean went after the lamia. She was strong and there was some struggle, but Dean finally killed her and now they are leaving the diner where they stopped by to keep driving back home. It is late night and the sky is dark, except for the stars and the moon that shine so bright on it.

Sam is snoring on the front seat by the time they park the Impala in the bunker’s garage. Dean has to shake him several times until his little brother opens his eyes and realizes they are home.

The bunker is quiet, which means that Cas must be sleeping. It is quite late, so he must have gone to bed a couple of hours ago. So Dean heads directly to their bedroom while Sam yawns a goodnight before stepping into his.

Dean opens the bedroom door, trying to be as quiet as possible. The light coming from the hall shows that Cas is in bed sleeping. The picture makes Dean smile widely before he closes the door, not making any sound at all.

He walks quietly towards his bedside table and switches on the lamp. Cas’ face is soon lighted up and Dean can see him better. He looks peaceful and beautiful. His fingers are brushing Dean’s pillow, curled as he always is when Dean sleeps next to him. Dean can’t help caressing his cheek, his fingers brushing his soft, dark hair. It’s great to come back home and finding Cas in their bed.

The hunter begins to unpack all his clothes in his travel bag, without making any sound, looking at Cas’ face to see if he is going to wake up; Dean wants to let him sleep. When he is done, he sits on the bed and starts to take off his boots. There’s a ruffle of sheets and Dean looks at Cas, who is making that cute face he does when he wakes up.

“Dean?” Castiel asks in a whisper.

“Hey, Cas,” Dean whispers. His hand caresses Cas’ cheek and the blue eyed man leans into the touch.

“You’re back.” His hand comes to rest on top of Dean’s, squeezing it lightly. Dean nods. “How was the hunt?” His voice is soft and low. It’s great to be next to him again.

“Good. Everything went good.”

Castiel nods. His other hand strokes the small of Dean’s back and Dean leans to kiss Castiel’s forehead. The ex-angel closes his eyes and smiles softly.

“I’ve missed you,” Dean whispers.

“I’ve missed you, too.”

Dean smiles and keeps taking off his boots. His pants follow them, and Castiel watches with a soft smile on his lips that Dean finds himself mirroring. He has missed him a lot, but now he is back at the bunker. He's back at the bunker with Cas.

“Have you checked the kitchen yet?” Castiel asks with his usual sass.

“No, I didn’t.” Dean chuckles. “But I trust you.”

He is soon only wearing his t-shirt and his underwear. He gets in bed, switching off the lamp. Before he can cover himself, Cas is already embracing him, pulling him against his chest and nuzzling his neck, letting out a content, relieved sigh. Naturally, Dean embraces Cas without thinking twice.

“It’s great to have you back in bed,” Castiel murmurs. “I missed you by my side.”

Dean hums contently. The darkness in their bedroom hides his blush and his wide grin. “You are such a sap.”

“Don’t say you didn’t feel the same when you were at that motel.” He nuzzles his neck again and Dean can feel Cas’ smile on his skin.

“You are a dick.” He kisses the top of Cas’ hair and moves his hand over the other's shoulder in a comforting way.

Dean has missed feeling Cas lying next to him, his warmth, his nice and overwhelming smell, having him tugged to his side, feeling his breathing on his skin.

“Hey,” Dean says and Castiel hrumm's weakly. “I know it’s late but— do you want to have sex?” 

Dean wants to feel Cas everywhere on his skin. It has been almost five days since they've seen each other and Dean aches to feel Cas in that awesome and intimate way. Not that he has any complaint about the two of them lying together like they are now, but Dean wants to make love to Cas.

“Only if you do all the work.”

Dean chuckles. “Done.”

Castiel rolls onto his back and Dean switches on the lamp. They could do it in the dark, but both of them like to see each other. He places himself on top of Cas and he kisses him sweetly and slowly. He rocks his body slowly and gently, feeling the length of Cas’ body under his.

His freckled hands trace down Cas’ sides slowly, almost lazily, mapping the lines of it, taking his time to feel. His palms soon arrive to the exposed skin of his long legs, feeling the softness and the warmth of them as they kiss heatedly and gently, the sounds of their sweet little moans filling the silence of the bedroom.

Dean takes off their clothes; first their t-shirts and then their underwear. His hands touch Cas’ naked and glorious chest while the ex-angel moves his hands down Dean’s arms and to his back. They follow the curve of his back until they reaches its end. They look at each other while they touch; it feels like it's been forever since they last touched, since they last looked into each other's eyes and felt time stop. Cas leans and kisses Dean sweetly and slowly, his fingers brushing his hair, drawing him closer.

The hunter’s mouth soon goes to Castiel’s neck, but he only kisses it. He feels how Cas’ breath hitches with every kiss, moaning Dean’s name sweetly. His back even arches when Dean’s hands run over his nipples and when his hands go to brush his cock almost chastely.

Dean grabs lube and a condom. He spreads it over his cock and on his hands and he starts to finger Cas. He does so slowly, admiring the pleased sounds and faces Castiel makes as Dean’s fingers move inside him. Not once does the hunter take his eyes from the ex-angel. The way Cas looks at him is amazing; the way his lips are parted, letting out Dean’s name whenever his fingers brush his prostate. The way he tilts his head on the pillow, biting his lower lip, humming, leaves Dean speechless.

When he feels Cas is stretched enough, Dean pulls his fingers and settles on top of Cas; his legs are soon around Dean’s waist and his arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, until they can feel each other’s hearts beating. They share a passionate kiss as Dean’s hands trace down Cas’ hips, arriving to his ass, lifting it slightly.

The moment Dean starts to push his cock in, their mouths part and they hold their breath. Dean forgot how astonishingly warm and tight Cas really is. He goes deeper, feeling Cas adjust around him. When he is fully settled inside his lover, Dean lets out that breath he'd been holding and Castiel sighs happily, closing his eyes as he hums.

“I missed this so much,” Castiel whispers. His lips form a beautiful smile as his hands make soothing circles in Dean’s hair. “I missed you so much, Dean.”

Dean takes a deep breath. It feels great to have his cock buried in the insanely wonderful tightness of Castiel. “Fuck, Cas—” He breathes out. “I missed this too fucking much.”

Dean leans to kiss Cas and he starts to move inside him. His thrusts are slow, sweet, and delicate, and it drives both of them crazy. It is like coming home over and over again, and Dean realizes in that moment that his real home is Castiel. He closes his eyes at that thought, making what sounds like a half-moan, half-groan, and Castiel tightens his limbs around him, moaning loudly.

When they open their eyes, there’s love in them. There’s also passion, and desire, but love is what truly reigns. In moments like this, Dean feels that he is loved and that he deserves to be loved. And he hopes that Cas can see that, too, right now. He has always said that Dean’s eyes speak the words stuck in his throat. At this very moment, Dean’s eyes are full of love for Cas.

Castiel moans quite loudly when Dean’s cock touches his sweet spot. His nails dig into the other's freckled skin and he presses their foreheads together. He clenches around Dean so tightly that Dean doesn’t know how he doesn’t come in that moment or how he doesn’t collapse. But Cas always has him, always holds him.

Dean feels Cas’ hands cupping his face, so he opens his eyes, his eyelashes brushing Castiel’s. They kiss with all of the love they have in their hearts. Dean’s heart skips a beat, feeling overwhelmed by the amount of overwhelming passion they are feeling.

The speed of his thrusts increase slightly, but maintain theit sincerity. Cas grinds into him, fucking into him, clenching around him and Dean rocks his hips, colliding with Cas, making him squirm under him when his cock hits his prostrate.

They are a mess of moans and pants, and it feels too fucking awesome. It always feels awesome when they are having sex, but even more so when they are making love. The intimacy of it feels purer. Better.

Dean keeps sliding into Cas. Both of them are really close; Dean’s cock is twitching inside Castiel and he can feel, on his belly, Cas’ doing the same. But both of them want to last a little bit longer. They keep looking into each other’s eyes, chanting each other’s name with all of the air left in their lungs. Their hips keep moving in that perfect rhythm and their hands are moving slowly - but restlessly - on each other’s skin.

A few more thrusts and both of them are moaning and squirming. Suddenly, they are coming together, almost at the same time. As Dean collapses onto Cas, he holds him tighter, even if his legs slide from Dean’s, clearly tired and sore from being in the position he was.

They are breathing into each other and Dean moves his head until his face is buried in the crook of Castiel’s neck. The tanned skin of the ex-angel radiates warmth and Dean adores it. He feels overwhelmed with Cas’ skin everywhere and with his arms embracing him, never wanting to let him go. But Dean doesn’t want to go anywhere; he wants to stay here with Cas, pressed together, still buried deep inside him, basking in the afterglow of his orgasm.

One of Castiel’s hands is in Dean’s hair, ruffling it lazily. He lets out a happy sigh before he says, “Welcome home, Dean.”

And Dean could cry with happiness from those words.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> Also a big thank you to Christina for being my beta :)

When Dean opens his eyes, the bedroom is completely dark. Maybe they should go to IKEA and buy one of those lamps that give enough light to see but not to disturb their sleeping; it would be more preferable than switching on the lamp all the time he or Cas have to do something in here. The bedroom is cozy, but Dean misses the natural light.

With his hand, he searches for the switch, and soon, the lamp removes the darkness from their bedroom. When Dean looks at the alarm clock and sees that it is already 9:37 A.M., Cas’ arms tighten around him and the man nuzzles into his nape before resting his cheek on it.

“Don’t you dare leave bed yet.” Castiel mumbles with a sleepy voice. His chest presses closer against Dean’s back.

Dean sighs and rubs his face. “Good morning to you too, Cas.” He tilts his head to take a quick look at the ex-angel; his eyes are closed, his cheeks are a bit flushed, there are some wrinkle marks on his face from Dean’s Henley t-shirt and his hair is a wild spiky mess. It is one of Dean’s favorite sights when he wakes up.

Dean smiles and rests his head on the pillow. Cas isn’t a morning person. It is true that sometimes he wakes up and he is all smiles and kisses and they even have some lazy make out session (or sex). The rest of the time, he is grumpy and needs his coffee to become a real person.

“Cas, it’s a bit late, and I’m hungry.” Dean begins to say, hoping that Cas will let him go. Although, he knows his words won’t have that effect. “I’m also going to need to piss soon.”

“No." Castiel mumbles again. As Dean was expecting, his grip gets tighter and he pulls him closer.

Dean exhales sharply. “Shit, Cas.” He knows his boyfriend is really stubborn and Dean doesn’t want to start the day with a silly fight. “Why don’t you use the pillow as a substitute?”

“It is too early to say stupid things, Dean.” He sounds really grumpy, but Dean can’t help it (slightly) adorable. “Don’t compare yourself with a stupid pillow.”

“You know you’re gonna let me go sooner or later, right? Because I don’t think you would like me to piss in our bed.”

Castiel makes a displeased sound. “I hate you.”

Dean chuckles. “Oh, yeah?” His tone is all cocky and playful. “I thought it was the opposite.”

“Shut up and let me sleep.” He rubs his cheek on Dean’s nape as he spreads his fingers over the solid, warm chest of his boyfriend.

The hunter chuckles again. “Okay, how about this? You let me go to the bathroom and I come back and we sleep for twenty more minutes.”

“Thirty,” Castiel replies. Dean rolls his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes, Dean.”

“You aren’t even looking at me how—”

Dean can feel Cas’ grin on his skin. “I don’t have to look at you to know when you are rolling them.”

Dean exhales sharply, but he has a grin on his own on his lips too. “You are a dick.”

“Thirty minutes, Dean. We don’t have to do anything today,” he pleads.

“Fine,” he mutters in defeat. One way or another Cas was going to seduce him into staying in bed for longer. And Dean knows he would have used his too-fucking-beautiful eyes and Dean knows he is unable to deny anything to Cas when he uses his puppy eyes. “Thirty minutes.”

Cas immediately releases him and Dean gets out of bed. He sees Cas’ happy smile as he tucks him in. “Thank you.”

“You could at least kiss me for yielding.”

Castiel opens his eyes and dedicates Dean a sassy look. “Weren’t you in a hurry to go to the bathroom?”

Dean kneels on the mattress and smirks. “If I get a kiss, it can wait.”

Castiel shakes his head and rises to kiss Dean. It is sweet and lazy but perfect. It leaves both of them smiling like idiots and Dean walks towards the door, but before he closes it behind him, Cas says, “Come here soon.”

Dean huffs a laugh and shakes his head, feeling really happy.

 

_____

 

Despite staying in bed for thirty more minutes, neither of them spend said time sleeping. Instead, both of them linger lazily until both of their stomachs start to growl. Dean manages to finally get Cas out of the bed and walk towards the kitchen to have breakfast.

“It was about damn time,” Sam says the moment Dean and Cas get in the kitchen. He is already dressed and looking at his laptop.

“It’s his fault,” Dean begins to say, pointing at Castiel, who is already serving himself some coffee. “Worst morning person ever.” He looks at Cas, who glares at him as he drinks his coffee. “He is like an octopus.”

“I thought you encouraged it,” Castiel mutters into his mug, but his eyes are focused on Dean, giving him a slight, deadly stare.

Dean makes a soothing smile and looks at the ex-angel. “And I do.”

The younger Winchester chuckles. “Well, while you two were sleeping,” Sam starts to say and he turns his laptop so Dean can look at it. “I found us a case.” As Sam speaks, Dean looks at the local notice from Grand Forks, North Dakota. “Two deaths in three days. All caused by some deep scratches. Police didn’t find any kind of prints, remains, or anything. The most logical theory they have is that someone did that with an invisibility cloak.”

Dean gives his brother a weird look. “Seriously? That’s the more logical one?”

“Yeah.” He makes a grimace and shrugs casually, turning the laptop to himself.

“Okay. We’ll have breakfast and we’ll go.” He walks towards where Cas is and he squeezes his buttock, and action that startles Cas a little but makes him smile in a rogue way. “We didn’t have to do anything today, huh?” he whispers, smirking.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I didn’t know we would have a case.”

“You’re coming with us, right, Cas?” Sam asks. Cas’ ankle has been healed for a few days. Now he can run and do anything without feeling any pain at all.

“Of course I’m coming with you,” he says with a smile.

“Awesome.” And Dean leans in to kiss his lips.

 

_____

 

It’s a really long drive; almost ten hours, but Dean is used to driving for longer periods of time. Before they had the bunker, the Impala was their home, and there were times when they spent days and days without getting out of the car except for eating in some diner. Dean didn’t mind driving all those hours; all he needed was a burger and four hours of sleep. Now he needs more sleep for that; he isn’t sure if it is because having a home and a proper bed has spoiled him, or because he's getting old. He guesses that it must be a combination of both things.

Grand Forks is still a few hours away, and after stopping at a diner so the three of them could eat, Sam went to the backseat to take a nap. So, Cas is now riding shotgun with Dean, looking through the window at the moving landscape they left behind.

The music is playing low, but Dean can hear it perfectly, except when Sam makes one of those loud snores. Despite being too large for the backseat, Sam can sleep perfectly in the Impala. He has grown up in this car, and this car has been their home for all their lives. Both brothers have slept in the Impala so many times that Dean is sure that they will always have no trouble at all at falling asleep in it.

Sam makes another loud snore and Dean turns his face to look at him. “Shit Sam, you didn’t use to snore this loud before,” Dean says as he turns his face to look back at the road. He sees Cas smiling at his little brother and then, he looks at the road too.

Cas looks gorgeous in the sunlight. His skin acquires a lovely tanned shade. His eyes seem lighter and brighter than usual. Also, Dean likes how messy his hair is and how the sleeves of his shirt are rolled up. He likes seeing Cas this casual, this human, being beautiful and a bit messy.

Dean keeps looking at the road as his right hand searches for Castiel’s, which is resting on the center console. Dean intertwines their hands the moment he finds Cas’. The ex-angel looks at their hands and then at Dean. Dean's eyes are focused on the road, but he can see from the corner of his eye that Cas is smiling.

They don’t say a word, but Cas squeezes Dean’s hand soothingly. This is one of the amazing things about being with Cas; they don’t have to say a word or do anything to feel really good with each other. Right now, Dean feels awesome with their hands joined together and with Cas sitting next to him. It feels right. It feels awesome.

The whole drive is spent in near silence; Sam’s snores can still be heard, the music keeps playing and Dean and Cas say few words. Dean doesn’t remember a drive to a hunt as comfortable and as nice as this one.

When they arrive in Grand Forks, Sam is already awake. They find the closest motel and they pay for two rooms, one for Sam and one for Dean and Cas. It is already night and it is too late to put on their fed suits and go to the morgue and talk to the families, so they just eat something and head towards their rooms to sleep.

“I hope you don’t wake up all grumpy.” Dean says as he gets into bed. His back is thankful for the non-terrible mattress. It isn't his own, but at least it doesn’t feel like stone.

Castiel smiles. “Then I suggest you buy me coffee tomorrow morning.” He gets in the bed, switching off the lights. He lets out a pleased noise when he is fully covered by the sheets and the quilt.

Dean places his arm around Cas’ shoulders, encouraging him to get closer. Cas rolls until he is lying beside him. His arm rests on Dean’s chest, pulling him closer and holding him tighter. He kisses Dean after they are snuggled together.

“Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

 

***

 

While Dean goes to talk to the police and to visit the morgue, Castiel and Sam go talk to the victim’s families. There’s nothing unusual about them. Neither of them had anything in common or knew each other. Castiel didn’t find any hex bags or any EMF.

“Do you think they were lying about anything?” Castiel asks when he and Sam walk away from the house.

Sam shakes his head. “No. But I do think that, maybe, the victims were hiding something from their families.” He turns around, taking a quick look at the house they are leaving. “You didn’t find anything in her husband’s room?”

“No. Everything was clear.” He sighs.

Suddenly, Sam’s phone rings and he picks up. “Hey, Dean. Found anything?” There’s a small silence and Sam’s face turns into a worried expression. “Okay. We’ll be there in a few minutes.” And he hangs up.

“What’s wrong?”

“Dean says we need to see something in the morgue.”

They have to walk there because Dean was the one who drove the Impala there. It isn’t too far, but it is a twenty minute walk that both of them would have liked to avoid. Thankfully, however, Sam and Cas don’t mind walking.

“So, how are you and Dean doing?” Sam asks suddenly. He sometimes likes to ask Castiel about his relationship with Dean. And Castiel knows that he asks the same to Dean.

“Really good,” Castiel admits. He can’t help blushing at that. They have been together for more than three months and it has been great. At first, it surprised him and even startled him that he was with Dean. Now it is a really natural thing for him.

Sam grins happily. “Has he told you the L-word already?” They get into the building and before a policeman can ask who they are, both of them are showing their fake FBI badges. The policeman nods and points them the direction to the morgue.

“No, he hasn’t told me that he loves me,” Castiel begins to say as he and Sam walk through the long hall. “You have heard him sometimes. He says 'I L-word you.'” He smiles.

Dean loves him. He doesn’t need to hear the word ‘love’ coming from his lips to know it. Dean tris the best he can to say that word, but he can’t. Still, Dean’s eyes are screaming that he loves Cas. The ex-angel doesn’t care if Dean can’t say that forbidden word, because he looks at Dean and all he sees is love in his eyes.

“You know that he loves you, right?” Sam asks in a sweet voice. “He doesn’t say it, but he loves you, a lot.”

“I know, Sam. Your brother might not be able to say that he loves me with words, but he does it with anything else he does.”

“I’m glad you can understand him as good as you do,” he says relieved. “Dean is complicated and you need a lot of patience with him, but— well, you know.” He chuckles and looks at Castiel happily. Castiel nods, understanding perfectly what Sam means. “And you know,” he keeps saying. “I think that, one day, Dean will tell you that he loves you. It’s just a matter of time.”

Castiel isn’t sure if Dean will ever manage to tell him that with words. As long as Dean loves him, he doesn’t care if his boyfriend says those three words or not. Maybe Sam is right and it is just a matter of time. Dean sometimes is unpredictable and he struggles with words and feelings. Truth is that Castiel is aware of the hard work Dean has done with their relationship. He has opened himself in a way Castiel wasn’t expecting him to and he has told him things that Castiel never thought he was going to hear from Dean. They love each other and both of them know it, so who cares if Dean can’t say the famous 'L-word'? Cas has heard it in every other word Dean has told him and in every look from those beautiful green eyes.

There’s a counter at the end of the hall and Dean is there, talking to a brunette woman who is grinning at Dean. The hunter is showing his back to them and Castiel can only see the woman’s face. As they approach them, she and Dean can be heard better and Castiel can see how she hands Dean a piece of paper.

“You know, agent, once this is over, you should call me and we could have a drink,” she says with a charming voice. Castiel feels some cold feeling running down his spine. He can’t help remembering that drunk woman who kissed Dean on New Year’s eve.

“I’m flattered, but,” Dean begins to say politely and with his fingers he moves the piece of paper back to her. “I already have someone in my life.” The moment those words are said, Castiel’s heart skips a beat.

She makes a sweet smile. “Well, I can’t be surprised. Someone as handsome as you must have someone.” She sounds really tender. Dean rubs his neck; it’s a nervous habit he has when he is flattered or praised and he feels a bit awkward. “She is very lucky.”

“Actually, I’m the one who is very lucky for having him.” Dean responds.

The woman looks surprised and then smiles fondly. Sam nudges Castiel’s elbow and he looks at him with a wide grin. He leans into his personal space and he whispers, “He definitely loves you.”

“Yes, he does.” Castiel smiles and flushes, feeling really happy.

Not only Dean told that woman that he was already with someone, but he also told her that he was with a man. It makes him really happy to know that Dean doesn’t feel ashamed about what they have. He has never shown any shame about it, but he never told to strangers that he was dating someone, that he was dating a man. Knowing that Dean feels really comfortable with their relationship makes Castiel extremely happy. Not only because of him, also because of Dean.

“Look, your partners are already here,” The woman says and Dean turns around. “Hello, agents.”

“Hello,” Sam and Castiel say at the same time.

“Follow me,” Dean says pointing with his head the door on his left. Both Cas and Sam follow him as he gets through that door that leads to another hall.

“Dean,” Castiel says reaching his hand and holding it. Dean turns around and looks at him with curious eyes. The blue eyed man smiles and cups his face before he kisses him fondly. When they pull away, Dean is looking at him with a confused frown while Sam is smirking, clearly understanding Castiel’s action. “I’m the lucky one.”

Acknowledgement hits Dean immediately and he blushes quickly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t know you heard me.”

“We heard you,” Sam says. His words only make Dean’s blush intensify.

Dean rubs his face in embarrassment. “I hate you two.” It makes Sam and Castiel chuckle as Dean walks towards one of the many rooms with corpses in them. “Okay.” He clears his throat and uncovers the dead body of a man. There are deep scratches all over his body and face. “Remember that police said that they didn’t found a thing in the corpses?” he asks as he grabs some latex gloves and puts them on.

“Yeah,” Sam and Castiel say.

“There’s something.” He walks towards the body and he swipes his finger inside one of the scratches. When he pulls it away, all covered in dried blood, something yellow and dusty is also apparent.

“Sulfur.” Castiel says, perplexed.

Sam looks at the body and then at Dean’s finger. “No. It can’t be,” Sam says shocked. “The demons are locked in hell. The doors are closed.”

Dean exhales sharply. “That’s what I thought, too.”

Castiel looks at the body again and it hits him. “But daevas aren’t completely locked in there,” he murmurs and both brothers look at him, wanting an explanation. “Daevas are demons of the shadows, and although they belong to hell, they don’t completely belong to it. They can be invoked if someone finds the right spell and they are willing to condemn their soul to hell.”

“But hell’s closed, how is it possible to invoke a demon?” Sam asks confused.

“Only daevas can be invoked. Regular demons are only tied to hell, but as I said, daevas are part of the shadows. Someone can find that gap and use it to invoke daevas.”

Dean frowns. “But why would someone invoke daevas? Those things are really dangerous.”

“That someone is controlling them for a reason. Since hell is closed, daevas can only be called to Earth by some powerful, dark magic. They will only kill if someone wants them too. Someone is controlling them because their soul is tied to them.”

Dean rubs his face. “So, if we kill that someone, the daevas will just die?” Castiel nods. “Now we’ve got to find the crazy bastard who summoned them. Any ideas?”

“No.” Sam sighs and makes a grimace. “There’s nothing in common with the victims and their families didn’t provide us too much.”

“Great,” Dean says sarcastically as he tosses away the gloves. “Research afternoon.”

 

_____

 

It is almost midnight and they haven’t found anything. They even talked to some friends of the victims, but not one of them provided them with anything. They will continue looking for something tomorrow. It is already too late and some sleep will be great, so Sam heads to his room, leaving Castiel and Dean on their own.

The moment Sam is out, Castiel walks towards Dean and kisses him passionately, catching Dean by surprise. But the hunter soon kisses him back and fists the back of his shirt. When they pull away, both of them are needy and breathless.

Dean arches a brow but he is smirking. Castiel smiles timidly, his fingers brushing playfully under Dean’s white shirt. “I’m still thinking about you saying you're the lucky one.” Castiel whispers shyly.

Dean chuckles and he blushes a little. “It’s the truth, Cas.”

“I know.” He lets out a happy sigh. Dean’s hands are on the small of his back, making soothing churches.

Castiel kisses Dean again, sweetly but passionately. It comes a moment when their kisses become needier and more heated and their hands are restless. It’s been a long and exhausting day and both of them need to take those things out of their system and feel each other.

Soon, Dean has his back to the bed with Cas on top of him. They have lost their pants and shoes while they walked the small path from where they were standing to the bed, never stopping their kisses.

The moment Castiel takes Dean’s shirt off, he starts to kiss his neck and collarbone. Castiel listens to the wonderful sounds Dean makes, feeling the unrelenting movements of his hands (which are, evidently, trying and failing to remove Castiel's shirt) as he gasps and moans. Dean's freckled hands finds his face, cupping it and lifting it so they can kiss in a way so erotic that it makes Castiel moan. Dean takes off his shirt and he places his mouth behind his earlobe, kissing that spot that makes Castiel squirm as his hands trace down the former angel's chest.

He can feel the hardness of their erections under their briegs and Castiel wastes no time in taking them off, hearing the relieved sigh Dean makes once his pretty cock is freed. They keep kissing, Dean pressing him closer, keeping time with the needy rocking of his hips. Castiel tries to search in the drawer for the lube and the condom as they kiss, but then he remembers they are in a motel.

“Damn it,” Castiel mutters as he pulls away from his lover’s mouth.

Dean laughs. “You forgot where we are, huh?” he asks, running his hands down Castiel’s arms.

Castiel closes his eyes and nods. “Where’s the washbag?”

“In the bathroom.” He presses a brief kiss to Cas’ lips.

Castiel leaves Dean on the bed while he goes towards the bathroom to grab the condom and the lube. He looks at himself in the mirror; his hair is messier than when he woke up and his face is incredibly flushed. There are some marks on his skin, right where Dean’s mouth has been. He smiles as he touches his warm skin, feeling the ghost of that wonderful mouth on him.

“Cas, if you don’t come back soon, I’m gonna have to finish this by myself,” Dean says from the bedroom.

Castiel chuckles. “I don’t think either of us would enjoy that.” He hears Dean laughing as he puts on the condom. He also grabs the lube and some wipes for later. When he steps out of the bathroom, the lights from the bedroom are off. “Why did you switch off the lights?”

“There’s enough light coming from the street,” Dean begins to say. It is true; the light that leaks through the curtains is more than enough. The subtle blue light that washes over his lover's body is enough to make Cas' knees weak. “And I want to be the only one to see you,” the hunter adds in a shaky voice.

Sometimes Dean says things like that and it makes Castiel’s heart go wild. He walks towards the bed eagerly and excited, leaving the lube and the wipes on the bedside table before he starts to kiss Dean happily, making his boyfriend hum and moan into his mouth.

After that, Castiel grabs the lube and spreads it on his hands. He coats his cock, too, before he starts to finger Dean, opening him up. Dean squirms and lets out loud moans every time Castiel’s fingers touch his prostate. The ex-angel never takes his eyes from him, loving the faces Dean makes.

He pulls his fingers out and cleans his hands with a wipe. Dean is already panting and he looks gorgeous. Castiel places his hands on the back of Dean’s thighs and Dean hooks them around Cas’ waist. His freckled hands immediately come to rest on his back, pulling him closer, both of them meeting in a fervent kiss before Castiel starts to push in.

Dean is tight and warm and it is maddening. Castiel doesn’t mind if he tops or bottoms; it always feels good. Having Dean inside him or feeling Dean around him, it is extraordinary. But he has to admit that feeling Dean around him, so tight, so warm, feeling and hearing how he reacts because of Castiel is something he can’t explain with words.

“That’s all you got, babe?” Dean teases as he bites his lower lip.

“Shut up, Dean,” Castiel says as he keeps pushing in. He feels Dean adjust around him and feels the sensation of nails digging into his back.

The moment he is fully settled inside the green-eyed man, both of them let out a relieved sigh. “Fuck, Cas—” Dean gasps. His legs tighten around his waist. “Fuck me, Cas, fuck me.”

Castiel kisses him in a dirty way and he starts to fuck Dean. The hunter digs his nails into his tattooed back, letting out moans and groans with Cas’ name on it and swears. Castiel presses his forehead against Dean’s as he rocks his hips in a steady, fast rhythm.

“Dean. Dean. Dean. Dean,” he moans with every thrust. He closes his eyes and his whole body squirms when Dean clenches around him, making his legs go numb. “Fuck—!”

Dean grins and kisses him. It is brief and playful, but tender. “So hot when you swear.” He rocks his hips faster, almost needier.  
When Castiel opens his eyes, he sees that Dean still has his eyes closed and his mouth is parted. The ex-angel increases his speed, his cock hitting that sweet spot of Dean's several times. Dean grinds into him, clenching so tight that Castiel just barely resists the urge to come.

“There, Cas— there, there, there, oh—! Yeah! Cas! Cas—!”

It is madness but it feels extraordinary. It always feels like that when he and Dean have sex, regardless of which position they are in, whether they're just fucking or making love. It always feels, as Dean would say, awesome.

Castiel kisses Dean’s neck, his ear, his face, his lips, wherever his mouth can reach as he keeps fucking Dean. He finds his hands sliding beneath Dean's ass and lifting him, changing his angle so both of them feel even more pleasure. The slapping of his balls against Dean's rear makes it all the more satisfying.

He opens his eyes to look at Dean. The faint light that comes from the street paints Dean in blue shades and he looks gorgeous. He kisses him passionately and Dean kisses him back as one of his hands run desperately through his hair.

A few more thrusts and Dean is coming, painting both of their bellies. Castiel keeps fucking Dean and he is soon coming too. He collapses onto Dean, feeling boneless and alive. He always feels alive when he is with Dean. Before he knew him, Castiel never felt a thing, not even alive, but all of that changed when he met Dean.

Dean is soon kissing his face happily and holding him tightly with his hands. Castiel giggles with every kiss of his boyfriend. He soon finds his mouth and they kiss happily and spiritedly. They look into each other’s eyes when they pull away. There’s a beautiful smile drawn on Dean’s lips that Castiel treasures in his heart, because he knows that no one else gets to see that smile except him.

“I L-word you, Cas.”

Castiel finds himself smiling. “I love you too, Dean.” And he leans down to kiss him again.

He doesn’t need to hear the word love. He already knows that Dean loves him.

 

_____

 

“Cas,” Dean says as he shakes him slightly. Castiel knows that Dean wants to wake him up, but Castiel holds Dean tighter, burying his face in the man's chest. Dean is warm and comfortable and it is so hard to let him go and abandon the coziness of the bed. “We’ve got work to do.”

“Just five more minutes,” Castiel murmurs. Dean sighs but he doesn’t say anything else, which means that he gets his five minutes. “If you weren’t naked…”

“You do this even when I’m dressed.” He laughs and Castiel can feel it echoing through his body, warming his heart. “Now you’re gonna say that it is all my fault because I’m warm and nice and something like that, right?”

Castiel opens his eyes and looks at Dean. He looks so pretty with bed hair. “Is it a sin that I like to be with you in bed?” He gets on top of Dean, resting his chin and his hands on Dean’s chest.

“Of course not, Cas.” His hand caresses his hair slowly, calmingly and Castiel starts to purr. “You know that when we don’t have anything to do I linger in bed more than you do. Fuck, Cas, I really like staying with you in bed, but—”

“We’ve got work to do.” He finishes and Dean nods. He looks at the clock on the wall; there are only a few minutes left before nine o’clock. They still have to take a shower and have breakfast, but they still have some time left for themselves. He places his hands on the mattress, lifting himself enough to look at Dean’s face and keep some space in between their faces. “Do you think we have five minutes for some kissing?”

Dean arches his eyebrows. “Even ten minutes,” he says with a smirk.

“So I don’t have ten minutes to sleep but I have them to kiss you?” he sasses with an arched brow.

“What can I say?” His hands start to stroke Castiel’s arms, finding his shoulders as they go up. “You are naked and a good kisser.” When his hands are on his back, he presses Castiel down and they kiss playfully and fervently.

They only stay like that for less than two minutes because someone is knocking on the door. Dean makes a frustrated sound and Castiel exhales sharply.

“Guys?” Sam’s voice comes from behind the door.

“Fuck,” Dean says unpleased.

“Don’t worry.” Castiel kisses his lips and then his frown. “We still can take a shower together.”

Dean grins and kisses Castiel. “You are the fucking best,” he says as Cas rolls to the other side of the bed so Dean can get up and put his underwear on before he opens the door. “What?” Dean asks when he opens the door.

“Dude, you could at least put on some pants,” Sam says as he enters the room.

“Cas is naked, so,” He shrugs and closes the door as Sam looks at Castiel, who sits on the bed, using the sheets and the quilt to cover himself a little bit more.

“I don’t wanna know what you two were about to do.”

“Something awesome.” Dean walks towards the bed and he sits next to Cas, who punches his bicep. “Hey,” he protests.

“What happened, Sam?” Castiel asks ignoring the small glare coming from Dean.

“There was another murder last night,” Sam begins to explain as he hands Dean and Cas his mobile. It is a news website. “Same kind of death as the other victims. But this time, they found the body pretty soon, and when police found him, there was an intense sulfur smell.”

“So the person who invoked daevas is using them to kill people, but why?” Dean asks with a thoughtful grimace. “Not one of them has anything in common.”

“Maybe it’s not a thing what they have in common,” Castiel says. “It must be the person who controls the daevas.”

“So you think that someone is killing people as revenge for something those people did?” Sam asks with a frown. Castiel shrugs. “Don’t you think it’s a bit dramatic to invoke daevas for that?”

“A person who condemns their soul to summon a daeva is clearly dramatic, Sammy.” Dean says with a straight face. Sam rolls his eyes and sighs. “This person knows what they are doing. So we’ve gotta find the person all these victims had in common.”

“I will start looking classes, courses and things like that.” Sam nods and walks towards the door. “And you two are gonna help me once you have showered and eaten,” he adds as he points at the two of them before he leaves the room.

“Killjoy.”

“Don’t be such a child,” Castiel says kissing his freckled shoulder. “Let’s take that shower together.”

 

_____

 

After a lot of research, they finally find the woman the three victims had in common. She knew the first victim from high school, the second from her work and the last one from college. She didn’t end up well with any of them as her brother told Dean when he asked him about her. Even he said that he didn’t get on well with his sister and they hadn’t spoken for years.

Sam, Dean and Castiel go to find her at her house, but the moment they sneak into it, they see all the furniture is gone and it looks like she hadn’t been there for almost a week. They need to find another place where she can be.

Luckily, Sam finds it. She bought an abandoned factory a year ago outside town, so the three of them drive there when it is dark. They can see that there isn’t any light on in there, but there’s a car parked in between some trees, and it isn’t abandoned, which means she must be in there.

They step inside the factory. It is really big and dark, and it is in complete silence, except for a leaking pipe that can be heard in the distance.

“Let’s split up,” Dean whispers. “This is huge, so it would be better if we separate.”

The idea doesn’t sit well with Cas, but he knows Dean is right. If they go in separate ways, it would be easier to find her. The main problem is that if any of them have to face her, chances are they'll be completely overpowered.

Sam and Castiel agree and the three of them should go their separate ways. Castiel walks as quietly as possible, holding his gun in one hand and a lantern on the other. He listens closely for any noise that could indicate that the woman is there, but there is no sound. It is eerily silent.

He keeps walking. Suddenly, he sees a weak light coming from the end of the hall, so he makes his way toward it as stealthily as possible. When he reaches the end of the hall, he sees that it continues to the right and he can see where the light comes from.  
As he approaches, he can hear a female voice. He is so concentrated on hearing it and being quiet that he doesn’t see Sam coming from another hall to stand next to him. When he sees him, he startles and he isn’t sure how he doesn’t shoot him. Sam presses his index finger to his lips and Castiel nods, but not without glaring at him for startling him.

The voice is still muffled, and before Castiel can hear it perfectly, someone shouts, and Castiel knows who is yelling.

“Dean!” Castiel exclaims before he and Sam start running towards where the light comes from.

When they arrive, Dean is on the floor and a daeva is scratching the right side of his chest and he yells in pain as the bloody wound is made. The daeva, at its staggering height, vaguely resembles a human. In its current state, the hellish creature doesn't quite take on a physical form, but neither is it entirely shadow. The woman is laughing, but the moment she spots Sam and Castiel she grunts in frustration and she orders a daeva to attack. The daeva tackles Sam, but before another one goes for Castiel, the ex-angel shoots at her head and she falls to the floor, dead. He hears the painfull howls of the daevas as they are dragged back to hell.

“Dean!” Castiel yells as he runs towards Dean, holding him in his arms when he kneels next to him. Part of his forehead has been scratched and a deep gash stretching from his left thigh to his hip bleeds profusely. “Dean,” he says, sobbing. He runs his hands over Dean’s face and Dean’s eyes find his. He is bleeding too much and his temperature is dropping. He is still alive, but they need to get him to the hospital. “Sam!” Castiel calls, his voice catching in his throat.

Sam is running towards his brother too. The younger Winchester has a scratch on his right arm, but it isn’t too deep. He looks at his brother horrified and devastated. Castiel feels more useless than he has ever felt. If he still had his mojo he could heal Dean with a brush of his fingers. But he can’t do that anymore. Dean is draining and Castiel has never been so terrified.  
“Sam, we need to get him to the hospital.” Castiel says through tears.

“Let’s go!” Sam says, helping Cas carry Dean.

The Impala never seemed further. They get Dean in the car. Sam drives while Castiel tries to stop the bleeding with his plaid shirt, but the only thing he manages to do is to soak it with Dean’s blood.

Sam drives really fast, but Castiel fears it isn't fast enough. Dean has his eyes closed and Castiel is constantly checking his pulse. His heart is still beating, but his heart rate gets slower with every passing second.

“Dean, please,” Castiel begs, heartbreak evident in his voice. He looks at him, tears falling from his eyes, getting colder as they trace down his face. “Hold on, Dean. Hold on, please.”

Sam stops the Impala when they arrive to the hospital and he gets out. Some man is yelling at him, saying that he can’t park there, but he shuts up the moment Sam and Cas get Dean out of the car and he orders a nurse to bring a stretcher. Dean is soon inside a room where a lot of doctors surround him.

The nurse tells Sam and Castiel to step back. Everything seems to go in slow motion and Castiel can’t stop looking at Dean, covered in blood, still bleeding and looking really pale. The nurse repeats again to step back as some doctor scissors Dean’s t-shirt so he can remove it, showing that Dean is still wearing the feather.

“The feather. Give me his feather,” Castiel begs.

A woman rips off the necklace and hands Castiel the feather; its tip is covered with Dean’s blood. He looks at his hands, staring at the feather, the one that used to belong to him. Dean's blood stains his hands.

The curtain hides Dean and Castiel stares blankly ahead. He feels helpless and useless. He feels scared. He doesn’t know if Dean is going to make it. He wants to, but he doesn’t know and it scares the hell out of him.

He and Sam stand there, unable to move or speak. Castiel's fist closes around his feather as more tears fall from his eyes. Drops of Dean’s blood fall to the floor. 

Castiel’s heart sinks.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions ^^
> 
> A big thank you to Christina for being my beta :D

Despite having the window closed, the lovely sound of birdsong can be heard. It is a tiny bluebird, and it always comes to the tree next to the window to sing. Its singing is beautiful, and Castiel knows that Dean would enjoy it if he could hear it.

Castiel sighs and moves his eyes from the window to look at his boyfriend. Dean is still alive, but he is in a coma. He lost a lot of blood and his wounds were extremely deep. Some of his main arteries were damaged, so it will take some time for him to get better. Doctors don’t know when he will wake up. All of his constants are fine, as fine as they can be due to his condition, but doctors don’t know how long it will take him to get better, or to wake up. Doctors now only come in to change the serum, change the bandages that cover his wounds and to check on him.

Dean has been in the hospital for three days and he hasn’t opened his eyes or moved a single muscle. He is still lying on that bed, his body almost lifeless. He looks paler than ever, making his freckles stand out. His face looks soft, despite the bandage on his forehead.

Castiel’s hand is holding Dean’s; he has barely let Dean’s hand go. Even when he falls asleep on the chair next to Dean's bed, he holds his hand. He wishes he could heal Dean by just holding his hand. But he can’t.

“Here,” Sam says and he hands Castiel a candy bar. “You need to eat.”

Castiel nods and tears open the wrapper. If it wasn’t for Sam, he wouldn’t be eating at all. He is surprised that Sam is keeping himself together. He is affected by Dean’s state, but he’s been through this so many times that he knows what to expect from it. But Castiel can see the heartbreak in the younger Winchester’s eyes every time he looks at Dean.

As the ex-angel eats, he looks at his wrist; the necklace with his feather is tied around it, keeping it there until Dean wakes up and can put it back around his neck. It hurts to look at it and remember that almost a year ago he was still an angel that could have healed Dean with a single brush of his fingers.

“Stop thinking about it, Cas,” Sam murmurs. Castiel lifts his eyes to look at Sam, sitting in front of him, on the other side of Dean’s bed. The blue eyed man looks at his friend with a confused frown. “You are thinking that, if you were still an angel, you could heal him.”

Castiel exhales sharply and looks down at the feather. Sometimes he is too transparent. He takes another bite of his candy bar and nods. “I can’t help it.”

“I know, man, but—” He takes a deep breath. His eyes get glassy and he looks up, trying not to let any tears fall: it is a Winchester thing. “You were the one who shot her before that daeva could have done anything worse to Dean. If it wasn’t for you,” he pauses and looks at his brother. “Dean wouldn’t be here.” He makes a sad face and Castiel’s heart sinks, feeling the sadness of each of his friend’s words. “I got attacked and I couldn't help him—”

“Sam,” Castiel interrupts. “That daeva could have attacked me instead of you and you would have been the one who shot her.” He tosses away the candy bar’s wrapper and both of his hands go back to hold Dean’s. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been able to drive the Impala and get to the hospital as quickly as I did.” He looks at Sam’s eyes, letting him know that he is being honest.

“Thanks.”

Castiel nods. There’s a small silence between them and they both look at Dean. “I want him to wake up.”

“Me too.”

Castiel sighs and holds Dean’s hand tighter. “He will, right?” He looks at Sam’s eyes, searching for comfort. Sam looks at him and smiles. “What?”

“When you fell and Dean healed you, he was so afraid of losing you.” Sam begins to explain with a voice full of nostalgia. “He waited every day next to your bed, holding your hand and every time I came to see how you were doing, he asked me if you would wake up. And every time he asked me that question, I told him: he always wakes up, he always comes back to you.”

Castiel feels his cheeks flushing and a smile makes its way into his lips. He remembers waking up with his back and chest covered with bandages and feeling a lot of pain, and Dean was there, next to his bed, holding his hand. Pain was intense, but that simple touch made the pain a bit more bearable. They never talked about it, but there was something secret in that touch, something they both knew but were afraid to talk about back then.

He remembers how glassy and tired Dean’s eyes were, but there had been relief there, too. Dean looked at him as if decades had passed since they last saw each other, making Castiel feel reborn under his lover’s eyes, although at that time it was his friend’s eyes. But there has always been something else in Dean’s eyes, telling him what Dean can’t say with words. It took Castiel years to read and understand, but he finally managed to.

“It might take you two time, but—” Sam exhales sharply, continuing where he left. “You always make it back to each other.” He dedicates a sweet and hopeful smile to Cas. “You know, Dean has always believed he was gonna die with a gun in his hand and for so many years it was what he really wanted. He wanted to sacrifice himself in order to save me or to save you or to save anyone. I always knew that if something like this happened to him, he would never try to get better, he would simply let himself die, because he would think that he is finally freeing us.”

The words hurt and Castiel holds Dean’s hand tighter. “I know,” He knows that Sam is telling him the truth; he knows that Dean thinks that way.

“But since he’s been with you,” the younger Winchester keeps talking. “He fights to stay alive.” At that, Castiel looks at Sam. He feels his eyes getting glassier and warmer with the tears he is holding. “Because he has you; he has someone to fight for.”

“He also has you.”

“Yeah, but—” He chuckles. “Dean has always fought for me, I know. But he’s always thought that he’s a heavy load for me, which it isn’t true.” He makes an obvious face and looks at his brother, making a sweet smile. “Dean has taken care of me since he was four and he’s sacrificed everything for me. He’s done the same for you too, you know that.” Castiel nods. “I’ve tried to make Dean appreciate his life, to let him see that he is worth it, that he is not just a burden. But he always kept thinking that, thinking that he was poison, that his life wasn’t as important as yours or mine. But you changed that.” He grins happily and a tear falls down from his eye.

“Sam—” Cas whispers. There’s a lump in his throat that makes it hard to speak.

“You give Dean a reason to live, to keep fighting, to appreciate his life, and you make him really happy. That’s more than what he has ever had in his life and I’m so thankful for it.” Sam sounds touched and his voice shakes, but he means every word he says. “He loves you so much that he wants to make it this time. He wants to keep fighting because he is in love with you and because he wants to have a life with you.”

“He wants you to be in that life too, Sam.”

Sam chuckles. “I know, but you know what I mean.”

“Yes, I know.” He takes a deep breath and he looks at Dean.

He knows what Sam means. Dean has always believed that he would never have a normal life and that his ending would be bloody. He has never allowed himself to believe that he could have more than that. But Castiel heard it from Dean the night they fought: ‘You give me a reason to live’ Those words coming from Dean Winchester mean more than they would coming from someone else. He finally believes that he deserves something, that he deserves love and a happy ending.

Sam smiles. “He has finally found someone to love without being afraid of it.”

“If he was awake he would be making fun of how cheesy you sound,” Castiel says with a grin.

“Or he would punch me.” Both of them laugh. “He will wake up, Cas. He will.” He makes a small pause. “After everything you two have been through, what you’ve been fighting for to get here, he’ll fight a bit more. You only have to wait.”

During these past few days, Castiel hasn’t felt as hopeful as he does now. He brings Dean’s hand to his lips and kisses it. “I know,” he whispers.

 

_____

 

Castiel puts the vase with red roses on the bedside table after changing the water. He bought them yesterday for Dean, hoping that he would find them nice when he wakes up. He looks at Sam; he is smiling and Castiel blushes.

“It’s a stupid detail, I know, but—” Castiel begins to say.

“He secretly loves details,” Sam says. “He thinks I don’t know, but I know he does.”

Castiel chuckles. “Yes, he does.” He sits down on the chair. His body is aching from being in that chair for so long, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be anywhere else. “I would have gotten him a pie, but I don’t think it would be appropriate to bring one here.” He holds Dean’s hands, lacing his fingers with Dean’s motionless ones, missing Dean’s usual warmth.

“Can I ask you something, Cas?”

“Of course.”

“Why did you give Dean a feather?” he asks curious. “Does it have any meaning?”

“It means eternal love.” As he speaks, he looks at Dean’s face. “Angels only give their feathers to someone if they truly love them.”

“Does Dean know that?”

Castiel hums. “He said it was cheesy and that if he had wings, he would give me one of his feathers.” His other hand caresses Dean’s face. His temperature is still low, but he is now warmer than the first day he was here. He knows it is a good sign and it makes his hopes go up a little bit more. “Don’t tell him I told you that or he would kill us both.”

Sam chuckles. “I won’t.”

Someone knocks on the door and Sam and Castiel frown confused at each other before Sam stands up and opens it. “Hey,” Charlie says before hugging Sam.

“What are you doing here?” Sam asks as he hugs her back. “Weren’t you working?”

“I asked for a few days off,” she explains as she closes the door. Charlie knows about Dean’s state because she called Sam to know how they were doing and Sam had to tell her about his brother. “Hey, Cas,” she says, walking towards the chair where the ex-angel is sitting on and she hugs him. It feels good to feel her comforting arms around him. “How is he?” She stands next to Cas, resting her arm around his shoulders.

“Getting better, but slowly,” Sam explains rubbing his face. “The doctors don’t know when he’s gonna wake up. But at least he is getting better.”

Charlie caresses Dean’s forehead and she sighs. “And how are you two doing?” Her eyes move to Sam and Cas.

Castiel sighs. “Keeping it together as best as we can.”

Charlie makes a sympathetic smile and she rubs her hand on Castiel’s arm soothingly. “If Dean’s getting better, it’s good. He will wake up, don’t worry.”

Castiel knows that Dean is going to wake up, but this waiting is killing him. He wants Dean awake and fine. He knows that once he wakes up, he will still have a long way to go to get better; his wounds are severe and it will take him time until he is fully recovered and the wounds are fully healed.

“That reminds me,” she says as she looks into her bag full of pins about TV shows, movies and videogames for something. She grabs a check and she hands it to Sam. “You guys must have a really expensive hospital bill.”

“Charlie—” Sam starts to say.

“Sam.” She glares him in a warning way. She clearly doesn’t want to argue about it. “Just take it.”

“It’s a lot of money, Charlie,” Castiel says looking at her. He got to see that she was giving them $200,000. “Where did you get that much?”

She grins. “Let’s say I hacked some company with a fruit on its logo.” Both Sam and Cas look at her, impressed. “You guys need it, Dean needs it. Health system in this country sucks unless you’re rich. Until that changes, I’m gonna get money from companies that have too much.”

“Thank you, Charlie.” Sam walks towards her and hugs her. He is about to cry and Charlie pats his back in a friendly way. “I’m gonna talk with someone so we can pay the bill. I’ll be back soon.” He walks away from the door and leaves Charlie and Cas alone.

The roses on the table catch her attention and her fingers brush the petals. “You bought him roses.”

“They are his favorites,” Castiel murmurs.

“How are you, sweetie?” She kneels next to him and rests her hands on his arms. “I can see the pain in your eyes. They’re as talkative as Dean’s.”

Castiel sighs. “I just—” He looks down at his lap and makes a painful grimace. When he looks at Charlie, she is making that soothing smile and her eyes show sympathy. “I hate the fact that I can’t do anything. I hate not being able to heal him like I used to.”

“We all feel like that when we can’t save the ones we love, Cas.”

“I know, Charlie.” He exhales sharply and looks at Dean. “But I wish I was still able to heal him with just a brush of my fingers.”

She stands up and kisses the top of his head. She has always been comforting and a good friend, from the first day they met. He is so glad to have Charlie Bradbury as a friend.

Charlie ruffles his hair. “He is alive and doctors say he is going to wake up one of these days, right?” She gives him a tiny smile and Castiel nods. “He has been through worse; he will make it this time too.” She looks at Cas and her smile turns bigger. “Dean Winchester isn’t going to leave his beautiful boyfriend alone.”

Castiel chuckles and Charlie hugs him again.

 

_____

 

“I insist,” Charlie scolds, glaring at Sam and Castiel. She crosses her arms like an angry mother would do. “You guys need a proper bed.”

“We’re fine, Charlie,” Sam says.

“No. You are not.” Her voice sounds deeper and angrier. “One of you is coming with me to the hotel I’m staying at. There’s a free bed that any of you could use. So you two are deciding who goes with me by playing rock, paper, scissors.”

Castiel and Sam interchange looks. Charlie is going to force one of them to go with her, so it’s better not to piss her off and do what she wants. They know that she is right, that both of them need a proper bed, because sleeping in those chairs can’t be called sleep at all, not even a nap.

Sam loses the game two times out of three, so he is the one who is going with Charlie. Both of them leave, not before Charlie tells Cas that tomorrow, he is going to be the one sleeping in that bed. Castiel would complain, but he is too tired for that now, so he simply nods and tells them goodbye.

The room is quiet now. It is also late and the darkness of the night gets into the bedroom. Castiel stands up and switches off the lights. He will have some sleep soon; when his eyelids feel too heavy to keep his eyes open.

He looks at Dean, still in the deep slumber he has been in lately. The color of his skin isn’t as pale as it was a few days ago, but it is still pale. His free hand caresses his face and he sighs. He brushes his hand through the man's hair then, never taking his eyes off of his face. It is still so strange to look at Dean like this when he has always been so active and full of life.

“I love you,” Castiel whispers. He brings Dean’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of his palm. “I love you so much, Dean.”

Castiel sighs and leans his back on the backrest of the chair. He looks at Dean and makes a sad smile. He misses his voice, his eyes, his kisses, his touches, his smiles, his laughter, his jokes… He misses Dean.

He looks at the window, seeing all those trees that are now covered by the darkness of the night. Some moonlight leaks through their leaves and it looks magical. It is a shame that Dean can’t see it now. This hospital has nice views.

He spends most of his time looking at the window and at Dean, never knowing the exact amount of time that passes. He feels tired, but he can’t sleep. It is always like that; Castiel only manages to get some couple of hours of sleep when his eyes completely give up and can’t remain opened. Maybe dawn will find him awake; he doesn’t know. He only wants to be next to Dean.

There’s the sound of a strange breath and Castiel moves his eyes from the window to look at Dean. He moves his head slightly and something heartwarming spreads from his heart to the rest of his body as he sees Dean moving slightly.

It doesn’t take Dean too long to open his eyes. The moment his beautiful green eyes meet Castiel’s, the ex-angel can’t help to let some tears of joy. “Hey,” Dean says with a weak voice.

“Hey,” Castiel says and he leans to kiss Dean in a sweet and relieved way. When he pulls away, he lets out a relieved and happy sigh and he cups Dean’s face. “You’re awake.”

“Yeah.” His voice is weak and hoarse, but it is great to finally hear him. “How long have I been here?” he asks as he turns his head, looking at the room.

“Almost five days,” he answers. Dean’s hand squeezes his and Castiel lets out a sighs happily. After feeling Dean’s lifeless hand for all these days, it brings Castiel too much joy to simply feel Dean holding his hand back “How are you feeling?” he asks as he combs Dean’s hair with his fingers.

“Like shit.” He even smiles and Castiel finds himself mirroring it. “There are parts of my body that hurt that I didn’t know could hurt.”

“Assbutt.” He kisses Dean happily, feeling the hunter’s smile against his lips. Castiel’s thumb caresses his cheek and kisses Dean again, this time briefly. “I’m so glad you are finally awake.”

Dean lifts their joined hands and kisses Castiel’s. “Sorry for this.” A few more tears fall down from Castiel’s eyes and Dean wipes them off. “These days must’ve been hell for you and Sammy.” Castiel nods. “By the way, where is Sam?”

“Charlie forced him to go to the hotel she is at so he can sleep on a bed,” he says. He can’t stop caressing Dean’s face. It feels warmer than these previous days. “Me and Sam have been sleeping here for all these days.”

“You guys are crazy.”

“Don’t act as if you wouldn’t have done the same if any of us were in this bed.”

Dean smirks and he kisses Cas. It is slow and a bit sloppy, but it feels wonderful. They smile to each other when their lips are no longer together. Dean sighs and leans into the hand that’s cupping his face. He seems really tired.

Dean moves his eyes, wandering through the room and landing on the flowers, smirking at them. “You bought me roses, Cas?” Dean asks in a low voice. Castiel nods. “You big old sap.”

“Shut up, Dean,” Castiel says and Dean laughs softly. The bright sound fills the room, making Castiel feel an overwhelming heartwarming sensation. It’s great to hear that sound again.

Dean’s eyes go to their intertwined hands, lifting them a little, seeing the feather hanging on Cas’ wrist. “Hey, that’s mine, why are you wearing it?” His fingers brush the black feather and he looks at Cas with an arched brow.

Castiel smiles. “Before they operated you, they were taking off everything you were wearing and I asked them to give me the feather. I didn’t want you to lose it.”

“Thanks, Cas,” Dean says with a touched voice. Castiel smiles and nods. “You should sleep.” His hand pets his hair and Castiel closes his eyes at the touch. He lets out a breath he doesn’t know for how long he was holding, but he doesn’t care. “You look terrible.”

“Thanks, Dean,” he sasses.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Just sleep, okay? I’m not gonna go anywhere and I’ll be awake when you wake up, I promise.” He starts to move to one side of the bed, leaving some space left.

“What are you doing?” he asks confused. “Stop moving, you are going to hurt yourself.”

“Get in here.”

“What?”

“Get in here.” He points the free spot. Castiel glares him. He isn’t going to sleep in that bed; Dean needs that bed. “Stop thinking and come here with me.”

“You can’t be serious.”

“Cas, I can barely move, so don’t make me get up from this bed and force your stubborn ass.” he threatens with a warning glare. Castiel exhales sharply, letting Dean know that he is annoyed and that he doesn’t like this idea, but he finally lies aside on the bed. “See? It wasn’t that hard.” His arm immediately comes to rest around Castiel’s shoulders and his fingers start stroking Cas’ hair.

“If the doctor comes in—”

“The doctor can kiss my ass,” he interrupts and Castiel looks at him. He is a bit mad at Dean for this idea, but he is glad to hear his boyfriend being the assbutt he is. “My boyfriend needs a bed and I need him next to me. If the doctor asks, I will say that this is a new treatment that will help me get better.”

Castiel chuckles. “A new treatment?” He snuggles closer to Dean, being very careful to not touch anywhere near Dean’s wounds. “You’re an idiot.”

Dean kisses the top of his head. “Just sleep, Cas.”

He lets out a happy sigh. It isn’t a comfortable bed and there isn’t too much space, but it feels better than that chair and Dean is next to him. “I love you.”

Dean grins. “I L-word you too, Cas.”

Castiel falls asleep without any trouble at all.

 

_____

 

Luckily, Castiel wakes up before the doctor comes in. When she does come in, she tells both of them that Dean will be discharged in two days. He still has to get better; his wounds aren’t completely healed, but he can go home and rest.

A few minutes before the doctor leaves, Sam and Charlie come to the hospital, and the moment they see Dean awake, both of them run towards him and hug him tightly. Castiel can’t help letting a couple of tears out and neither Sam nor Charlie can. The three of them are so glad and relieved that Dean is finally awake.

“So,” Sam begins to say as he sits down on his usual chair. “You can go home in two days?”

“Yeah,” Dean says before he takes a sip of water. “They need to do some tests and they’ll kick me out after that.” He rests his head on Cas’ shoulder and Cas caresses his hair soothingly. The ex-angel is sitting on the bed with him, because Dean insisted. “I know you two must be dying to go home.”

“You’ve got no idea,” Castiel says kissing the top of his head.

“You know that you will have to rest, right?” Charlie asks with an arched brow and Dean glares her. “No hunts or shenanigans.”

Before Dean can complain, Castiel speaks, “Don’t worry Charlie. Me and Sam will make sure that he rests.”

“I don’t wanna be in bed the whole day,” Dean protests with a pout.

Sam rolls his eyes. “You are worse than a kid, Dean.”

“You won’t be in bed the whole day,” Castiel says and looks at Dean. “But you will have to lets us take care of you because I’m sure you don’t want to go back to a hospital.”

Dean rolls his eyes and grunts. “It’s gonna be a long recovery.”

“We can buy you pies,” Charlie says with a pout and Dean can’t help smiling. “But you have to take care of yourself, Dean. I know your brother and your boyfriend will make sure of that, but you’ve gotta be careful. We don’t want another thing like this.”

“Yeah, don’t worry.” He rubs the small of Castiel’s back tenderly and Castiel kisses his cheek.

 

_____

 

Once every test is done, Dean is discharged. Sam brings the Impala around while Cas helps him get dressed and walk out of the hospital. Dean can walk with difficulties; his right thigh has a long wound that isn’t fully healed and it hurts every time he takes a step. Dean has to walk slowly and he doesn’t like it.

“Dean,” Castiel starts to say after Dean’s fifth grunt. He knows that grunt doesn’t come from the pain; it comes from annoyance.

“Snails are faster than this.” Dean huffs.

“Yes, they are.” At that, Dean turns his face to his boyfriend and makes a glare that it is half confused and half deadly. “But you need to walk slowly, so stop whining about it. I don’t mind walking with you at this speed.”

“I’m gonna be a pain in the ass for you ‘til I get better.” He lets out a grunt and makes a guilty pout.

“You have always been a pain in the ass, Dean.”

Dean laughs. “You don’t say that when I fuck you,” he whispers with a smirk and winking.

Castiel rolls his eyes, but he blushes. “You are _definitely_ feeling better.” He kisses his cheek as they keep walking with slow steps.

“I’m sorry you have to put up with me in this state.”

“Dean, stop apologizing.” He looks into his eyes, showing him that he isn’t mad at him for being wounded. “I will take care of you. Sam will take care of you too. It will take you long time for you to recover, but we know that and we will be there because we love you and we want you to get better. We don’t care how long it takes.”

Dean smiles, but Castiel can see a hint of embarrassment in his face. “Okay.”

They finally get out of the hospital and they can see the Impala. Sam is in the driver’s seat, waiting for them. They walk towards the car, as slow as possible and when they get there, Dean and Castiel get in the backseat and Dean lets out a relieved sigh.

“Are you guys ready to leave?” Sam asks looking at the backseat.

“Yeah,” Dean says. “And you better drive her carefully.”

Sam chuckles and rolls his eyes.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> Christina was busy, so she couldn't beta the chapter. I will upload it again betaed once she has it :)

“Aren’t you tired of being my crutch?” Dean asks to Cas as they walks through the hall towards the kitchen. Since Dean came back from the hospital, Sam has been the one cooking. Dean’s condition has improved but he still can’t walk properly.

Castiel kisses his cheek and Dean smiles. “I’m not,” he says. “Saving you from hell was harder and more painful, trust me.”

Dean chuckles. “I’m looking forward to get better and start cooking again. I’m tired of all that salad and vegetables things.” He hates not being able to do a lot of things. He needs Cas or Sam to help him walking. He can get out from bed all by himself, but for the rest of things, all his wounds hurt and he can’t take it for too long.

“Do you want some pizza for tonight with extra meat?” Castiel asks looking at his eyes. “I’m sure that even Sam must be missing some meat in his diet.”

He stops walking and he kisses Cas tenderly. “You’re awesome, did you know that?”

The ex-angel grins beautifully and he even flushes. “You like to remark that, so yeah, I know that.”

Sam and Cas have been helping him a lot; not only they take care of him, but they also help him not to get bored. There isn’t too much to do in his state, but his brother and his boyfriend always find something to do with him so he can’t get bored. They do anything that doesn’t involve too much activity, and the older Winchester is really grateful for that.

“Hello, granny,” Sam greets with a smirk. He places a big dish with scrambled eggs mixed with vegetables on the table and then he sits down.

“Bite me, Sammy,” Dean says. He pulls away from Cas and he sits down. He grunts as he feels how the stiches on his leg smart.

“It’s okay,” Cas caresses his hair and kisses his temple, delicately and tenderly. “Do you want me to bring you a painkiller?”

“No.” He doesn’t want to depend on those pills; he is taking too much already. “It’s fine, Cas.”

He knows that Cas doesn’t fully believe him, but he doesn’t say anything about it. Dean serves himself the food his brother prepared, which looks pretty good in his opinion; it even has a good smell. He sees Sam looking at him with an arched brow and with a smug smile on his face, waiting for Dean to take a bit of it. The moment Dean tastes the food, he makes an impressed face.

“Not bad, huh?” Sam says grinning widely.

Dean nods. “I might even copy it and improve it once I’m able to cook again.”

Castiel hums pleased. “This is really good, Sam.”

“Hey,” Dean begins to say, faking a pout. “Are you saying that Sam’s food is better than mine?” He dedicates him a cocky stare. “Should I be jealous?”

“We’ll see once you cook this.” He makes a sassy grin and Dean can’t help smiling.

“I’m gonna go to town and buy some stuff we need,” Sam starts to say. “Do you need anything?”

“Bandages. I need to change them today and I’m gonna need more soon.”

“Do you want me to help you with them?” Cas asks looking at Dean.

“Nah, don’t worry. I can take care of them.”

Dean is grateful that Cas and Sam are helping him so much, but he doesn’t want to be a load for them all the time. There are a few things he can do, like changing his bandages, and even if Sam and Cas would do it for him, Dean doesn’t want to disturb them more than he already does.

He looks at his brother and his boyfriend and he smiles. He is so damn lucky for having them in his life. Dean knows that a few years ago, he wouldn’t have minded dying, but now that he has what it can be the closest thing to a normal and apple pie life, he wants to keep fighting.

 

_____

 

The worst thing about Dean’s state is that he finds it really difficult to sleep. His body really hurts. It doesn’t matter in which position he is lying, all his wounds hurt. It is really annoying. He doesn’t know how Cas can sleep with Dean being this restless in bed. He rolls to one side, then to another, he goes back to lie on his back, he rolls again and Cas doesn’t wake up. Dean suggested sleeping somewhere else so Cas could rest, but the ex-angel denied that. Although Cas wanted to go and sleep in his old bed so Dean could have more space, but Dean didn’t let him because he doesn’t want to sleep without him.

Cas’ arm is resting on his chest, his hand resting where Dean’s shoulder meets his neck. The ex-angel likes to sleep lying aside and holding Dean or letting the hunter little spoon him. Dean envies how easy Cas falls asleep. It is surprising that someone who has spent millions of years without sleeping can fall asleep as easy and quick as Cas does. Dean guesses that his boyfriend must have had some trouble at that in the past, but he got used to it at some point.

It is dark in their bedroom, and even if Dean is dying to get some sleep, he is bored. As he looks at the ceiling, he caresses Cas’ feather, hoping that he will get some sleep sooner or later, but he knows that it is going to take him so long to fall asleep, so he decides to get up from bed. He does is as slowly as he is able to, trying not to wake up his boyfriend. When he is out of the bed, Dean covers Cas and presses a kiss on his forehead.

He uses his mobile as a lantern to grab his robe and put it on. He doesn’t want to switch on the lights because it might wake Cas up. Once he has his robe on, he gets out of the bedroom, without putting on his slippers and he goes towards the library.

Dean still finds it hard to walk by himself without using Cas or Sam as a crutch, so he walks to the library extremely slowly, pressing his hand on the wall as a support with every step he takes. The wound the daevas did reached some important muscles, and despite of not damaging them seriously, his muscles are still sore and quite wounded.

After what it feels like an interminable walk, Dean finally arrives to the library room and he grabs _Heart-shaped Box_ by Joe Hill. He has read that book a couple of times and he likes it. When he can’t sleep, he likes to reread some of his favorite books.

He has barely finished the first chapter when someone talks, “What are you doing awake?”

Dean lifts his eyes from the book and he spots Cas, leaning on the doorframe. He looks adorable when he gets out of bed and he has that messy bed hair and wearing his robe. “Could ask you the same,” Dean says with a charming smile.

Castiel smiles and he starts to walk towards Dean. “Your wounds again?” This isn’t the first time Dean has found it difficult to sleep because of his wounds.

Dean nods. “Yeah.” Cas is soon next to him, pressing Dean’s cheek against his stomach and brushing his hair with his hands. Dean closes his eyes and leans into his solid body. “Didn’t want to wake you up.”

“Bed was cold without you.” His thumb moves soothingly on Dean’s freckled cheek. They’ve been together for several months and Dean still is surprised by how such simple things can make him feel better. “I know you don’t want to take more painkillers because you don’t want to depend on them, but,” he sighs and cups Dean’s face so their eyes can meet. “Why don’t you only take them when you are going to sleep?”

Dean sighs and he embraces Cas’ waist so he can get back to rest his face against Cas’ stomach. “No,” he mumbles with a bit of a childish voice. “I take too many pills already.” He has one to avoid any infection, other to avoid inflammation and another to heal him. That’s too much. He doesn’t want any other chemistry unless it’s totally necessary. He has to take those three pills for few more days and he will be done with them, but his wounds will still be sore.

“Okay,” Castiel says with a sweet voice. “But I hate seeing you suffering.”

The hunter rests his chin on Cas’ stomach and looks at his eyes, dedicating him a tender smile. “I’m fine, Cas.”

“You have a terrible sense of being fine.”

Dean chuckles and he buries his face in his boyfriend’s stomach, relaxing at the gentle touch of Cas’ hands on his hair. It feels so intimate and warm. “You should go to bed,” Dean mumbles.

“You too.” His hands cup Dean’s face, pulling him away far enough to see his green eyes. “You need to sleep.” His thumbs caress his cheeks in that soft and tender way that makes Dean feel comforted; Cas’ touches are too wonrdeful.

“I try, but—” He exhales sharply and closes his eyes. “I can’t.” He squeezes his nose in annoyance and Castiel leans to kiss his frown away.

“If you weren’t wounded we could have sex or I could blow you to make you feel better,” Castiel whispers, softly.

Dean can’t help smirking. “You can blow me, y’know?”

Castiel chuckles. “You are extremely restless when we are doing anything sexual, Dean. You can’t stop moving. I’m sure that if I only touched the head of your dick with my finger your wounds would be opened instantly.”

Dean laughs. Cas is true; he is restless when they are having sex. Dean likes to move a lot. He isn’t in the right condition to have any kind of sex with Cas; his wounds hurt and Cas is really good during sex and the hunter knows that it is almost impossible to stay still while they are fucking or being blown.

“By the way,” Castiel begins to say, frowning. “How could you walk all by yourself?”

“I used the wall as a crutch,” Dean confesses with a grin. “It was hard, but I made it.”

“I see.” There’s a small silence and Dean grabs Castiel’s hand to kiss it. “Let’s go to bed, Dean.”

Dean takes a deep breath. “I’m not gonna get any sleep and I’m only gonna disturb yours.”

“Honey, don’t make me carry you to bed,” he hisses with a serious scowl. Cas only uses ‘honey’ when he is teasing him or when he wants to be sweet while he is being completely serious.

Dean smiles cockily. “That sounds tempting, babe.” He even bites his lower lip playfully to tease him even more.

“Dean.”

“Fine,” he says standing up. “I like it when you are bossy, but sometimes you are a pain in the ass.”

“Guess from who I learnt that.”

Dean rolls his eyes but smiles. Cas moves closer to help Dean but Dean stops him. “No. Let me try to walk back by my own. If I need you, I’ll reach your arm.”

“Okay.”

They start to walk. Cas is forced to walk at Dean’s speed but he doesn’t complain; he never complains. He doesn’t take his eyes off Dean for a single moment in case Dean needs to use him as his crutch. The bedroom isn’t far, but walking at that speed makes it look further than ever. Dean walks close to the wall, trying not to hold himself on it too much.

“You are improving,” Castiel says.

“If you say so,” Dean mumbles before he lets out a grunt. The wound that goes from his thigh to his hip hurts like a bitch.

“Dean, we can stop if you need to.”

“No.” He forces himself to take another step, but he feels a lightning of pain in his left leg and he ends up leaning against the wall, closing his eyes at the pain.

Cas comes to hold him. “You are a reckless idiot.”

He hisses a bitter laughter. “You already knew that.”

“Are you trying to prove something? Because if you are, it’s stupid,” he begins to say really pissed off. Dean frowns confused. “You are wounded, Dean, you can’t push yourself like this, you have your limits.”

“Cas—”

“No,” he hisses furiously. “Listen to me, Dean.” He moves his face closer, leaving a couple of inches in between Dean’s. His blue eyes are fierce and hurt. “I know you want to get well soon, but you won’t if you push yourself beyond your limits.” He sounds hurt and concerned and Dean feels bad about it. “You walked that path by yourself, and that’s great and I know that you want to walk the rest by yourself, but you can’t. So stop trying to show that you are tough and you can take care of yourself because right now you can’t. And don’t be ashamed for needing to ask for my help.”

His boyfriend is right, like always. Dean sighs and nods, resting his forehead on Cas’. “Fine,” Dean murmurs and takes a deep breath. “It’s just that I feel that I’m annoying you while I’m in this state and I feel that I’m not getting better and—”

“Dean,” he says sweetly and his hand cups his cheek. “You are getting better, but slowly. And you aren’t giving me any trouble at all, except when you do stupid things like this.” Both of them chuckle. “Come on,” he says as he pulls away and offers his arm to Dean. “Let’s go to bed.”

Dean tangles his arm with Cas’ and they start to walk slowly. He is grateful for the support. “How could you fall for an idiot like me?” He doesn’t understand how Cas still is with him. Dean hasn’t said the word ‘love’, he is always screwing things and making Cas to put up with his shit and yet they are still together.

When Dean looks at Cas, he is smiling and blushing, but his eyes are full of love. “Because I fell in love with the most righteous, extraordinary, selfless, generous, intelligent and beautiful human being.”

“Fuck, Cas,” he says a bit embarrassed. Dean can feel how his cheeks are burning with the blush that appears.

Castiel laughs and it lights Dean. He adores that sound. “You asked.”

“You are a freaking sap.”

“You kind of like it.”

“I don’t.” His words earn him a questioning glare from Cas. “Okay, yeah, I do, but just a little.” He makes an agreement pout and Castiel makes his beautiful grin. “Shut it out,” he murmurs, embarrassed.

They take a few more steps and they arrive to their bedroom. With Cas’ help, Dean gets in bed and waits for Cas to join him. The moment the lights are off, Cas embraces Dean and rolls him until he is almost lying on top of him, with his chin resting on his shoulder. Immediately, Cas starts to hum _Hey Jude_.

Dean smiles widely. “Trying to lull me to sleep, Cas?” he asks softly.

Cas nods and keeps humming. His fingers caress Dean slowly, almost unnoticeably, and Dean finds himself slowly falling into the deep world of dreams, hearing the sound of Castiel’s hum, feeling his arms holding him, fading all his pain away, making Dean surrender to sleep.

 

_____

 

Dean starts to walk as slowly as he can towards the kitchen to have a snack. He stays close to the wall, just in case, but he doesn’t rest his hand on it as support. It works until his leg decides to strike him with that lightening pain and he ends up against the wall with both knees onto the floor.

“Dean!” Sam yells and Dean turns his head to see that his brother is there. He didn’t hear him or see him. The younger Winchester is soon next to him and helping him to stand up. “You should be more careful.”

“I know,” Dean grunts. “I was doing good and then my leg—” He strokes his wounded leg, trying to massage it and he grunts.

“You good?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs casually. “Can you help me walking to the kitchen?”

Sam smiles and offers his arm. “Of course.” They start to walk. Dean’s speed has increased when he goes with someone, but when he has to go alone, he is still terribly slow. “You can walk for longer.”

“I try, but this fucking wound is a bitch.”

“Don’t try to rush it. You’ll get better. After all, you’ve been out of the hospital for only eight days.”

“It seems longer.” He wishes his wounds weren’t as bad as they are. He is definitely getting better, but Dean wants to be able to walk and run and stop depending too much on Sam and Cas. At least Dean can now cook, something he has missed a lot, although he doesn’t make breakfast yet. “By the way, don’t tell Cas about that fall.”

“Why?”

“Because he worries too much and I don’t want him to quarrel me.”

Sam chuckles. “He should totally quarrel you.”

“Shut up, Sammy.”

They arrive to the kitchen and Dean pulls away from his brother’s arm and goes towards the cupboard to prepare himself a tasty bacon and cheese sandwich. He asks Sam is he wants one, but his brother shakes his head. Before he grabs the bread, Sam’s phone rings and his brother answers it.

“Hey, Jody,” Sam says. “I’m good. And Dean is crippled.” At that, Dean shows his middle finger to his brother. “Yeah, yeah, he’s good, all things considered.” His brother smiles and moves to one side to let Cas in the kitchen.

“Hey,” Dean says. “Want one?” He points at the sandwich he is making.

Cas smiles and nods. “Yes, please. I really like those.” He opens another cupboard and grabs his green tea. “Something’s wrong?” Castiel asks pointing with his head at Sam, who keeps talking on the phone.

“Jody must have a case for us.” He feels Cas’ worried eyes on him. “No, I’m not gonna go with Sam. I’m not that reckless.” He looks at Cas and smirks.

Castiel smiles and rolls his eyes. He presses a tender kiss on Dean’s lips. “It’s good to see that you have some sense,” he jokes. He puts the kettle on the stove and he grabs his mug.

“Don’t make me kick that pretty ass of yours.” It earns him a beautiful grin from Cas.

“Jody’s got a case,” Sam says when he hangs up. “For what she told me, I think it’s a poltergeist. I’m gonna eat something and I’ll drive to Sioux Falls.” He grabs a green apple and bites it, the sound of it echoing in the kitchen.

Castiel frowns. “I can go with you, Sam.”

“Yeah, I know, Cas, but someone needs to stay with Dean.”

“I can take care of myself,” Dean says. It earns him two sassy glares. “Partially,” he adds, reluctantly.

“I know that Dean needs someone, but you need someone too,” Castiel remarks with an obvious face. The kettle starts to sound and Castiel quickly removes it from the stove, pouring the boiling water in his mug.

“Jody will be with me, don’t worry. You need to worry about Dean not trying to do more than he can.”

“Hey!” Dean protests.

“Yeah, I know,” Castiel says and Dean turns his face to glare him. “He’s right, Dean.”

Dean exhales sharply. “You better bring the Impala in one piece.” He points at Sam warningly and his brother chuckles. “And you better not end up like I did during the last hunt.”

“Don’t worry. Jody’s got my back.” He takes the last bite of his apple and tosses away the remains. “You sure you two will be fine without me?” He makes that typical smartass grin of his.

“Oh yeah,” Dean begins to say with a mischievous smile. “Now I’m able to suck Cas’ dick in the kitchen.”

“Dude, gross!” Sam makes a disgusted face. When Dean turns to look at Cas, he is completely blushed and glaring him, but Dean winks at him. “I’m gonna have to wash my eyes to remove that picture!”

Dean’s grin only gets wider.

 

_____

 

The sound of Dean playing his guitar fills the greenhouse. Dean has been practicing for a while and he is getting better at it. Cas likes to hear him whenever he can, that’s why Dean decided to go to the greenhouse and be with his boyfriend while he plays the guitar. Every time he takes a look at Cas, he is smiling widely.

“This doesn’t disturb you, right?” Dean asks after playing _Good Riddance_ by Green Day.

“Not at all,” Castiel says with a big smile. “I enjoy it so much.” He is selecting the already grown leaves and flowers of the many plants they have here and he brings them to the table, where he will later put them into jars. “You are really good at it.”

“I’m just an amateur.” His fingers rip the guitar, letting out a melodic sound. “Do you know how to play any instrument?”

“I know a bit about how to play the piano.”

“Yeah?” he asks amused. Castiel nods. “How’s that so?”

“I learnt it a long time ago.” He moves towards the table and he cleans his hands covered with dirt. “But I think I only played the piano twice.”

Dean looks at him from the chair he is sitting on. The sun leaks through the glass, lighting up the place, illuminating Cas in a beautiful way. He is always beautiful, but when natural light is on him, he looks even more beautiful. Sometimes Cas seems unreal. He is perfect, patient, generous, compressive, intelligent, beautiful and funny. He can’t help thinking that he is so damn lucky for having Cas in his life.

“What?” Castiel asks when he catches Dean staring at him.

Dean smiles. “You are beautiful.”

A blush immediately makes its way to Castiel’s face. “I’m not.”

“You’re right,” he begins to say and Castiel looks at him with a confused frown. “You’re fucking beautiful.”

The ex-angel’s blush deepens and he rubs his neck nervously, feeling awkward. He quickly looks away from Dean’s eyes, trying to hide his embarrassment, but Dean can still see him and he grins. Things have changed a lot since the first time they met. Both of them have changed.

“What are you thinking?” Castiel asks after a while. His eyes are still focused on the plants he is classifying in different jars. “That’s your thinking face.”

“You aren’t even looking at me,” Dean says scowling.

Cas smiles. “I don’t have to.”

Dean chuckles. “I was thinking about how much everything has changed since you got me out from hell.” His words catch Castiel’s attention. The ex-angel looks at him while he keeps doing his task. “I kind of hated you a bit at that time.” He remembers Cas being a bit of a dick at that time, just a soldier. Dean kind of saw something of himself in that angel he just met, maybe that’s why he hated him at first; because he was an obedient soldier. “But at that time you had God’s stick in your ass.”

Even though Castiel chuckles, his blue eyes are glaring Dean a little. “You were at that time quite insufferable. You were extremely cocky and disrespectful.”

“Has any of that actually changed?” he asks with an obvious face.

“No, it hasn’t. Not really.” He lets out a sweet laugh. “But you aren’t disrespectful with me anymore. You haven’t been for years.”

“Yeah.” He smiles. There’s a small pause. “And you sometimes were pretty scary and intimidating, and you still are when I piss you off.” Whenever he gets Cas angry for something, the ex-angel can scare the living shit out of him. “But now you’re really sweet most of the time. Sassy and sweet, in fact.” Both of them chuckle at that. “You’ve changed.”

“I know.” He sighs and he looks down at the table. “You told me not to,” he whispers sadly.

“I told you that because of what I saw, Cas.” He takes a deep breath, feeling bitter by that memory. “You were stoned, reckless and hopeless. It wasn’t you.”

“But I’ve changed.”

“Yeah, and I did too,” he says with a determinate voice. Cas’ eyes meet his and Dean finds those blue eyes a little bit glassy. “But we are still Dean and Cas, you know?” He smiles and Castiel tilts his head in confusion. “We’re far from where we started, and things made us change, but not in the sense of changing. I think we grew up and we learnt from our mistakes, and to be honest, I like how we have developed. We’re the same, only older, just a little bit wiser and with a few more wounds.”

Castiel starts to walk towards him with a big smile on his face. “You know,” he begins to say. “I really like it when you talk like that.” He cups Dean’s face. Despite of having washed his hands before, Dean can smell some remaining of the ground on his boyfriend’s hands. “I really like it when you are all wise.”

Dean chuckles. “It happens on rare occasions, but—” He can’t finish his sentence because Cas leans and kisses him sweetly, delicately. His lips are warm and taste like plants. Dean finds himself fisting the front of Castiel’s t-shirt, pulling him closer. When Cas pulls away, Dean fists the t-shirt tighter. “We’re not done yet,” he murmurs, making Cas smile and they kiss again.

“I love you,” Castiel says after the heated and sweet kiss.

“I L-word you too.” He steals a brief kiss from those wonderful lips.

“You know,” he starts to say, caressing Dean’s hair in that usual fond way of his. “How about if I just sit here next to you and we both drink some nice, cold beers?”

“Sounds awesome, babe.”

Castiel kisses him and smiles. As he walks away from the greenhouse Dean watches him, with a grin on his face. He is really happy. If someone told him that he would get something like this back when he was twenty something, he wouldn’t have believed it.

It doesn’t take too long for Cas to come back with two cold beers. He sits down on the empty chair next to Dean and both of them simply stay there, watching, talking and Dean even plays the guitar again. Being able to take a pause from everything to simply be with Cas is a luxury Dean never expected to have. He never expected having Cas like this in his life.

 

_____

 

“Sam called,” Dean begins to say as he dries the washed glass Cas hands him. “He says he will sleep in the motel tonight and that he’ll come back home after breakfast. The hunt went good.”

“I’m glad to know that everything’s all right,” Castiel says with a charming smile. He hands Dean the last dish and closes the tap.

After everything is back in its place, they walk towards the bathroom to brush their teeth. Dean can walk without any support, but he still has to walk a bit slowly. His condition has improved, but he hasn’t gotten completely well. At least he can now walk by himself and he can cook. Sometimes his leg aches and his wounds too, but not as much as they used to.

They go to the living room to watch the new _Game of Thrones_ episode. They are holding hands and pressed together during the whole episode. Dean likes this intimacy with Cas. He finds himself really comfortable with everything they do and he enjoys everything a lot.

Once the episode is over, they head towards their bedroom. Dean takes off his boots, socks, jeans and shirt slowly, being very careful with the bandages. He took a shower before and he forgot to check them out.

“Cas,” Dean says as he sits down on their bed. “Can you check out my wounds and help me to change my bandages?”

“Of course,” Cas says. He kneels on the bed and stays behind Dean. They have bandages in the drawer, just in case something happens while Dean is sleeping, but for now, they haven’t had to used them. “Take off your t-shirt.”

Dean does as he is told, leaving the t-shirt on his bedside table. He feels how Cas takes off the bandage on his back. He hears Cas making a happy hum. “What?” Dean asks turning his face to look at Cas.

“It’s healed.” With his thumb he traces down Dean’s scar. “Some of your freckles are gone,” he murmurs a bit sad.

“Don’t worry, in a few days they will appear again.” He doesn’t have to look at him to know that Cas is frowning. “This isn’t my first scar, Cas.”

Castiel presses a kiss on his scar and Dean feels his sweet smile on his skin. “You better be right. I love your freckles.” It makes Dean blush. “Lie down.” He draws himself aside, leaving Dean’s side of the bed free for the hunter.

“I don’t think this one is fully healed,” Dean says as he moves his arm away so Cas can have more room to remove the bandage on his chest.

“But it is quite healed,” he murmurs as he takes off the bandage. “I think that in two days it will be fully healed.” He tosses the taken bandage away and he grabs a new one from the drawer.

Dean watches how Cas covers his wound with the bandage delicately and gently. Dean likes Cas’ hands a lot. He has really nice and pretty hands. And the things those hands can do to him. He can’t even start to describe how crazy those hands drive him when they touch him.

Cas’ eyes go directly to the other bandage; it is partially hidden under Dean’s underwear except on the hip. Cas’ hands go to his boxers and he takes them off slowly. The hunter lifts his hips, helping him to take them off completely. It has been a while since he was completely naked on their bed.

The ex-angel moves in between Dean’s legs and he starts to take off the bandage as gently as always. Cas smiles when he sees that there’s a scar where the wound used to be. His fingers touch that skin and Dean lets out a gasp, surprised by the touch.

“It’s healed,” Castiel says with a smile that Dean mirrors.

Cas looks at Dean’s eyes for a moment before he looks again at the long scar. He leans to kiss it and the hunter immediately gasps with the first kiss. It is sweet and briefly, but the second one lasts more, and the third even more and it becomes more passionate. Cas starts to kiss all the way up the scar, making Dean moan with every press of his lips on his skin.

When his mouth has kissed every inch of Dean’s scar, he pulls his mouth away and he looks directly at Dean’s eyes. He takes off his t-shirt as fast as he can and Dean’s hands immediately come to take off his boxers. Once Cas is completely naked, they kiss fervently and spiritedly, feeling their naked bodies pressed together. It’s been too long since they did this that Dean’s hands are moving restlessly on Cas’ body, touching everywhere he can reach.

Their kisses are heated, leaving both of them gasping for air. Cas starts to trace down Dean’s body with his mouth, kissing all the way down as his hands play with Dean’s nipples and their gazes are locked together the whole time.

Cas reaches Dean’s cock and he starts to blow him. His hands immediately go to Cas’ hair, gripping it tightly as he rocks his hips. The ex-angel sucks in deeper, pressing his sinful lips tighter and swirling his tongue, making Dean groan and moan, fucking into his mouth as if there was no tomorrow. Cas fucking moans around his cock when it hits the back of his throat.

The blue eyed man pulls away and Dean grunts. When he looks at Cas, he is smirking and looking at Dean with a mischievous and rogue smirk. His hands come to rest on the inner of Dean’s thighs, encouraging him to open them and Dean spreads his legs until they are forming a perfect v. Cas places his hands on his hipbones and he lowers his head. Dean’s heart starts to beat faster than ever with anticipation as he watches him. The moment Cas’ tongue starts to lick his perineum, Dean’s legs spread wider and his whole body squirms.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Cas!” Dean moans.

Cas moves his tongue, eating Dean out like nobody has ever done before. Dean fists the sheets and his legs can’t stop moving with every lick of that tongue. The moment Cas gets his tongue in his hole, Dean lets out one of his loudest moans. The ex-angel keeps getting his tongue deeper, earning him some of Dean’s filthiest sounds. It is too much and Dean doesn’t know how he hasn’t passed out or come. His tongue licks and moves eagerly but sweetly, getting deeper as Dean gets looser. The green eyed man moans and whines, rocking his hips so he can fuck into that glorious tongue, feeling the wetness of it.

Two fingers join his tongue, opening Dean up. Dean is a mess of wails, moans and pants. If Cas takes his sweet time doing this before he fucks him, he knows he won’t last too long. That’s why he starts to search in the drawer for a condom and the lube. The moment he finds them, he presses them on Cas’ back, and the ex-angel gets the hint. He pulls away and Dean exhales sharply. He feels how Cas leans onto him and cups his face to kiss him sweetly. When Dean opens his eyes after their kiss, he sees that Cas is as blushed and sweated as he is.

Cas’ cock start to push in and Dean groans delighted, biting his lower lip and pressing his head on the pillow. When Cas is fully settled in, he starts to fuck him with needy and quick thrusts. Dean tightens his legs around his waist as his hands stroke Cas’ back. He clenches around Cas so tight that the ex-angel squirms and trembles so much that he collapses onto Dean, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

“Holy fuck, Dean!” Castiel hisses and moans. His breath is hot against Dean’s neck, coming in raggedy pants. Dean smiles widely. When he feels Cas moving inside himself again, he clenches even more. “Dean!” he moans again, digging his nails in Dean’s shoulder. It makes Cas increase the speed of his thrusts, fucking Dean senselessly. “Dean— Dean— Dean— Dean— Dean—”

Dean keeps clenching over and over again and Cas hits that sweet spot every time Dean gets tighter. The hunter comes sooner than he wanted, sooner than usual, but after what Cas did with his tongue and mouth, his cock couldn’t postpone the release.

Cas keeps fucking him, thrusting in and out of him deliriously. Dean holds him and keeps moaning every time he reaches that wonderful spot, which makes the afterglow even better. Cas comes when Dean clenches around him tighter than ever and his whole body collapses onto Dean again; even his hips stop rocking. He feels the sound of Cas’ orgasm spreading on his skin and the ex-angel buries his face in the crook of his freckled neck, panting.

There’s a moment when the only sound in the bedroom comes from their raggedy breathings. They are exhausted, flushed, panting and sweating, and they feel alive.

“I forgot how awesome we were at this,” Dean says contently.

Castiel chuckles. “Yeah,” he breathes out. He starts to move reluctantly, as if every move he did was extremely hard. He pulls away from Dean and tosses the condom away. He falls onto Dean again, tangling his legs with his and embracing Dean, who holds Cas tightly the moment he is snuggled. “This was really good.”

“We shouldn’t spend so long without fucking.”

Cas rests his chin on Dean’s shoulder and he looks at his eyes. “You were hurt, Dean. I didn’t want to do anything that could aggravate your state.”

“Cas, I know.” He kisses his forehead tenderly and caresses his dark, sweaty hair. “Fuck, imagine if we did this when I could barely walk. I wouldn’t have been able to get out of bed for a month.” He knows that Cas is right, that having sex while he was still wounded would have worsen his state, but he has missed doing this with Cas. “But now,” he begins to say as he tightens his arms around Cas. “I expect to do this as much as we did before.” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Castiel laughs. “Assbutt.” He leans to kiss Dean sweetly, cupping his face.

“I’ve gotta ask,” he says curiously. “Where did you learn how to do to that thing you did with your tongue?”

The ex-angel blushes and bites his lower lip as a smile appears on his tender lips. “I didn’t learn it anywhere,” he confesses with an adorable face and Dean quirks his eyebrow. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

“Oh,” he says surprised. “Well, that was really good. You should do it again. In fact I highly encourage it.” It earns him a sweet laugh from Cas that he has to kiss. “And any other time we have sex, I’m gonna do that to you, if you want to.” His thumb caresses Cas’ lower lip, feeling the wetness and the heat of it.

Cas lets out a surprised gasp and Dean dedicates him a smirk. “I think I would really enjoy that.”

Dean chuckles and he kisses Cas again. His lips are tender and soft against his. His hands press him impossibly closer, wanting to feel every inch of his glorious body on his. The kiss is breathtaking and it leaves the two of them craving for air, but Dean manages to steal a few more from his ex-angel.

Cas rests on top of him, holding Dean tightly, caressing the left side of Dean’s chest slowly, with his head under Dean’s chin and the hunter holds him tightly, with his hands caressing soothingly Cas’ back. Both of them are exhausted, but they don’t want to fall asleep yet; it feels too good to cuddle together.

“I L-word you, Cas,” Dean whispers.

He can feel on his skin the beautiful smile Cas makes. “I love you too, Dean.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> Christina hasn't been able to beta the chapter yet, but once she does it, I'll upload it.

“What’s up, bitches?” Charlie says suddenly, startling Dean and Castiel, who were in the couch watching some bee documentary, because despite Dean finding it boring, Cas finds it interesting and Dean only watches it to see Cas’ amazed face.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asks confused. “Didn’t know you were coming.”

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if you knew it, would it?” She approaches the couch and sits on the armrest, looking at them. Dean still has his arm around Castiel’s shoulders and Cas still has his hand on the hunter’s thigh. “I wanted to see how you are doing after the recovery.”

“I’m good.”

“He still hobbles once in a while,” Castiel rectifies and Dean rolls his eyes, because he only hobbles in the morning when he wakes up or when he has spent too much time standing. “But he’s doing good.” He squeezes his thigh, making Dean smile.

Charlie grins and she punches Dean’s bicep. “That’s my Dean!” The three of them chuckle. “I got you this, to celebrate your recovery,” she says as she hands him an apple pie.

Dean’s mouth starts to water as he looks at the pie. “You are awesome, Charlie.”

“I know.”

“You just earned the right to decide what I’m gonna make for dinner.”

“That’s a great honor!” She grins and claps her hands in victory. “Well, let me think about it,” she says with a thoughtful face. “Dude, I really want those French fries with fried eggs and pieces of bacon that you make.”

“Yes, Dean, make those,” Castiel says with a sweet, pleading voice. “I love that dish.”

Dean smiles and presses a brief kiss on Cas’ lips, “Okay, I’ll make that.” He gives him another kiss before he turns his face to look at Charlie. “Wise idea, your majesty.” At his words, Charlie waves her hand. “Although Sam might probably protest because it’s too much fat.”

“You can also make a salad and everyone will be happy.”

“By the way,” Charlie begins to say, looking around. “Where’s Sam?”

“He went for a run.”

“Cas wanted to go too, but Sam can’t give him make out sessions while watching bees,” Dean says with a cocky grin and he winks at his boyfriend, who glares him.

“You are lucky that your boyfriend doesn’t decide to put the badass mode on and shut up your silly comments,” Charlie says with a mischievous grin, making Cas nod.

“But he enjoys my stupid comments, don’t you, babe?”

“And I also enjoy his bad sense of humor,” Castiel says with a guilty face. Charlie laughs.

“At least I’ve got sense of humor.”

“I do have sense of humor, but you don’t seem to understand it.”

Dean grins. “You know that sentence can also be applied to prove my point, right?” Castiel squeezes his nose and presses his lips into a thin line, trying to suppress a smile. Dean turns to look at Charlie. “He gets so cute when he frustrates, right?” His words earn him a cute laugh from Charlie and a punch on his arm from his boyfriend.

Charlie places her hands on her chin and grins. “Look at you two being adorable together,” she says and Dean and Castiel look at each other and blush. “Okay, I know Dean’s stupid reasons for not telling you that he loved you before,” she begins to speak to Castiel. “But what were yours?”

Castiel sighs. “I thought he didn’t feel the same. There’s been too much shit, as he would say, in between us and there was always something that tried to kill us. I knew that Dean knew how I felt, but I thought that he didn’t feel the same.”

“Yeah, we were fucking blind,” Dean says sighing.

“No? Really?” Charlie sasses and raises her eyebrow. Dean glares her. “Please, I’m sure that demons left graffiti in bathrooms that said things like ‘Dean and Cas are in love’ or ‘Dean likes to suck angel’s dick’.”

“For fuck’s sake, Charlie,” Dean mutters almost laughing. Castiel is covering his face, trying to hide his grin and his blush. “And the worst thing about that it’s that it might be true.”

“That you like to suck angel’s dick or the graffiti?”

“The graffiti, you dumbass.”

“But he also really likes to suck _ex_ -angel’s dick,” Castiel says casually. Dean looks at him with wide eyes, surprised about hearing Cas saying that. He isn’t ashamed of what they do, but he likes to keep for them anything that they do in their bedroom. Dean starts laughing along with Charlie.

“I can’t believe you said that.”

Castiel shrugs casually but he is smirking. “I simply told the truth.”

“You are an asshole,” he says before cupping his face and kissing him.

“Do you guys want me to leave you alone before someone starts sucking—?” Charlie begins to say but Dean pulls away and turns his face to look at his ginger friend, who is smirking.

“Do you want me to only make salad for tonight?” he asks smugly.

“Don’t you dare!” Castiel and Charlie say at the same time. They yell it so loud that it echoes in the living room.

“Guys, you are so damn loud,” Sam says from the doorframe, looking at the three of them with a judging face. His hair is a bit sweaty and there are some sweat stains on his t-shirt. He must have run quite fast.

“Sorry, but Dean was trying to blackmailed us,” Charlie says with a guilty face.

“With food, right?”

Charlie and Castiel nod and Sam makes a bitch face. Dean makes a casual grimace. “What? With them is food, with you it’s cutting your hair.”

Sam rolls his eyes and laughs. “I’m gonna take a shower. Are you staying for dinner, Charlie?”

“Yeah, and if you don’t mind I’m going to stay the whole weekend in here.”

“We don’t mind it, Charlie,” Dean says sweetly and caressing her back.

“You are always welcomed here,” Castiel adds.

She makes a pleased sound. “You guys are lovely.”

 

_____

 

“You promised you wouldn’t count cards!” Dean yells frustrated after seeing that Cas has won again. After having dinner, they decided to play poker with one condition; Cas wouldn’t count cards. It is really useful if they are in a casino and they need money, because Cas is really good at any card game that involves statistics, but it’s not fair when it’s the four of them playing.

“I’m not counting cards, Dean,” Castiel says narrowing his eyes. “If I were counting them I wouldn’t have lost once.”

“Just ignore him, Cas,” Sam begins to say before taking a sip of his beer. “He’s a terrible loser.”

“I’m not!” Dean defends himself, and his brother, his boyfriend and his friend arch a brow and give him a sassy stare. “I just want every single player to have their chance to win. And it’s not fair if he’s cheating.”

Castiel rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath, clearly annoyed. “I’m not cheating, Dean.”

“You are jealous because he owns more gummies than all of us,” Charlie points out and she grabs one gummy bear and eats it.

“Stop eating them!” Dean laughs.

“I’m sorry! I told you it wasn’t a good idea to play poker with gummies and m&m’s instead of money! These things are delicious!”

The three men start laughing because Charlie grabs a few m&m’s and eats them. “If you keep eating them, you’re gonna have to retire,” Sam says.

“Then,” she begins to say as she stands up. She walks towards where the big bag of m&m’s is and she grabs it, bringing it to the table. “I guess I will have to recover some.” And she drops onto the table more m&m’s than she ate.

“Hey! That’s more that you’d got!” Dean exclaims and Charlie sticks out her tongue.

“I’m gonna grab you a few,” Sam says as he steals her some m&m’s.

“Sam! Those are mine!”

“This isn’t serious at all!” Dean says chuckling.

“Of course it isn’t serious, we’re playing with food instead of with tokens or money.”

“I’m going to grab some more gummies,” Cas says standing up.

“Why do you need more? You are winning!” Dean exclaims.

“Shut up, honey.” He throws one coke gummy to Dean’s forehead and Sam and Charlie burst into laughter. Dean challenges him with his sight and without breaking eye contact, he stelas all the gummies and m&m’s Cas won. “Hey!” he exclaims as he runs towards where he was sitting and tries to get back his candy, but Dean protects it from Cas and the ex-angel isn’t able to recover anything. He makes a frustrated face and he leans onto the table, fisting the front of Dean’s t-shirt and pulls him into a fervent kiss, pushing his tongue into Dean’s mouth, making the hunter moan.

Dean feels how Cas’ free hand manages to recovers his candy and Dean pulls away from the kiss, observing Cas’ smug smirk. “You son of a bitch.”

Sam laughs. “You played dirty, Dean. He wasn’t gonna stay idly.”

Dean wants to be mad, but he is impressed. “Guess you learnt it from me, huh?”

Castiel’s smirk gets cockier and he hums. “Fair is fair,” Castiel says sitting down.

“You guys made a mess of candy,” Charlie observes. The table is covered with a colorful mess of gummies and m&m’s and it is really hard to tell the amount that belongs to each one of them.

“We could just eat it,” Castiel and Dean suggest at the same time, making the two of them smile at their idea.

The poker game is soon forgotten as they eat all the candy scattered on the table, forgetting about their small competition as they start chatting about a bit of everything. There’s laughter and happiness and it is wonderfully overwhelming. Dean will never get tired of this picture.

Time flies away and they don’t see how late it is until Charlie looks at the kitchen clock and sees that it is past midnight, so the four of them decide to go to bed. As Dean and Cas walk towards their bedroom, Dean gets his arm around Cas’ shoulders.

“I won’t get mad, but are you sure you weren’t counting cards?” Dean asks whispering.

Castiel turns his face and glares him. “Again with this?” he asks, sounding a bit annoyed. Dean makes his puppy eyes. “Didn’t you tell me that I will never be good at lying to you?”

Dean makes an agreement face. “Yeah, that’s true. But maybe you can accidentally count cards.”

Castiel pulls away from Dean and opens their bedroom door. “You just need something to make you feel less terrible at poker, don’t you?”

“Geez, you make me sound desperate.” They step into their bedroom and Dean closes the door behind him. “You know what? Next time we two play poker, we’re gonna play strip poker.”

“Strip poker?”

“Yeah. It’s like poker, but when someone wins, the one who loses must take off a piece of cloth. The one who ends up completely naked, loses.”

Castiel chuckles and he places his hands on Dean’s hips. “If we ever play that poker game, you would cheat so I could be the one who ends up naked first.”

“You’ve got such a bad opinion of me when it comes to games.”

“It’s the one your earnt it,” he whispers in a deep voice that Dean finds too sexy. He leans and kisses Dean needy, pressing their chests together, making Dean cup Cas’ nape. The kiss becomes hotter and a bit desperate, making their knees go weak.

“Fuck, you got fucking good at this, Cas,” Dean murmurs into his wonderful mouth before slipping his tongue and exploring the familiar taste of Cas’ mouth.

Castiel smirks. “Practice makes perfection.” His words make Dean laugh. He bites Cas’ lower lip and the ex-angel gasps and moans. One of his hands goes to Dean’s hair while his other tries to sneak under Dean’s t-shirt. “I know it’s late, but—” He kisses Dean, opening his mouth for his tongue and he shivers. “Can we—”

“Do you really have to ask that, Cas?” Dean asks pulling away and arching his eyebrow.

“Maybe you didn’t want to.”

“Cas, don’t you think that if I didn’t want to I would have stopped that arousing kissing session?” His words make Castiel blush and Dean smiles. “I appreciate your consideration, Cas,” he says as he gives Cas another fervent kiss. He likes that Cas is that considerate with him. He is like that too; if he ever feels like Cas isn’t in the mood of it or if he doesn’t want to, Dean doesn’t push. He understands it. “But I think both were being pretty obvious.”

“Just wanted to be sure.” He places his hand on Dean’s nape and he pulls him into a desperate kiss.

Their restless hands start to take off each other clothes, caressing the warm skin that gets free after it. Their kisses grow hotter and needier, as if they spent years without kissing and touching. When they are completely naked, Castiel cups Dean’s face while they kiss and pulls the two of them towards the bed, falling onto it, a bit harder than both wanted, but it makes them chuckle before they go back to kissing.

Castiel rolls both of them, being Dean the one pinned in between Cas and the mattress. He pulls away from Cas’ swollen and wet lips and he arches his eyebrow, earning him a challenging look from the ex-angel. Dean grabs Castiel’s wrists and he rolls the two of them, pressing Cas’ back against the mattress.

“Dean,” Castiel says with that sexy, bossy voice, almost warning him.

“Yeah?” Dean asks, trying to seem innocent.

Castiel presses his lips into a thin line and dedicates him a small glare. He is agile and quick, more than Dean gives him credit for, and Dean finds himself back to the position he was before, being with Cas on top of him, grinning widely and cockily.

“Damn it, Cas,” Dean mutters as he tries to get away from Cas’ tight pinning. He lets out a frustrated grunt that Cas seems to find hilarious. He is about to lean and kiss Dean, but the hunter seizes the occasion and rolls again, reversing their positions.

“Dean!” Again, Cas manages to get away from Dean’s grip and he rolls the two of them, but he ends up falling onto the floor.

“Cas!” He looks at his boyfriend. His back is on the floor and one of his legs is still on the mattress while the other is bent. “Holy crap, are you okay?” he asks as he kneels on the mattress and looks at Cas, really worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He grunts unpleased and sitting on the floor, caressing his back. Dean knows it isn’t the right moment to laugh, but he can’t help it. Cas is fine, but it’s ridiculous how they got into this situation. “Stop laughing at me! I could have gotten hurt!”

“Sorry, Cas, but—” He keeps laughing, feeling how his cheeks flush and get hotter. “This is so fucking surreal.”

“It’s not funny!” he exclaims and he grabs Dean’s wrist to pull him onto the floor with him, but Dean uses his other hand to keep himself on the bed. Still, Cas pulls him hard and Dean ends up with only his legs resting on the bed.

“And you say I’m the terrible loser?” he teases with a playful grin.

“Screw you, Dean.”

Dean bursts into laughter and he kisses Cas, it’s a bit difficult given that he is in an uncomfortable stance, but he tries to kiss him sweetly. “If I’m not wrong, you are the one who rolled and ended up on the floor. I didn’t have to do anything with it.”

Castiel glares him and pulls him from bed and Dean ends up with his face on Castiel’s lap. The fall wasn’t hard at all, that’s why Dean keeps laughing against his boyfriend’s lap, and Castiel pulls his face away. “You are insane, Dean.”

Dean keeps laughing and he sits in front of Cas, resting his back against the side of their bed. This is one of the most hilarious moments in Dean’s sex life. He takes a deep breath and touches his stomach, which hurts a little from laughing too much. “Jesus, we’re a bunch of idiots.” He sighs happily and he looks at Cas, who is frowning.

“I fail to see what’s so funny about this.”

“C’mon, you’ve gotta admit that it’s hilarious that both of us ended up on the floor because we both wanted to top,” he explains and Castiel glares him. Dean leans, leaving a few inches in between their lips and looks into his gorgeous, blue eyes. “I know you are trying to suppress a smile.”

“No, I’m not,” he says sharply, but Dean looks at him with a bitch face. It doesn’t take more than a few seconds for Cas to smile and grunt frustrated. “I hate you,” he says pushing Dean away, who starts laughing again. “You are the worst.”

Dean cups Castiel’s face and kisses him sweetly, making Cas melt in it. “You can’t stay mad at me for too long.”

“Don’t try me, Dean Winchester,” he challenges with a pretty smirk. Again, Dean laughs and he kisses Cas. The kiss is spirited and both of them are soon moaning in it. “I’m definitely topping. I’m the one who fell first.”

“Fair enough,” he whispers into his lips before nibbling Cas’ lower lip. When they pull away, Dean stands up and helps Cas to do the same. When Cas stands up, Dean pushes him softly onto the bed, and Dean places himself on top of him. Castiel is about to complain but Dean presses his finger on his lips, shushing him. “You are gonna top, but I’m gonna blow you first because I want you to fuck my mouth, okay?”

Castiel’s eyes open widely and he nods. “Okay. Good.”

Dean smirks and he kisses Castiel, getting his tongue as deep as he can, feeling how Cas groans and digs his nails in his scalp. One of his tanned legs goes to embrace the small of Dean’s back, pulling him closer.

Dean pulls away and he gets his mouth on Cas’ nipple, hardening it with his tongue, making Cas moan and rock his hips needy. Dean takes his time as his hands stroke the soft skin of Cas’ sides, following the curves of his body. He dedicates some time to kiss all the way down of his body, leaving a few hickeys on his skin, pausing to kiss the enochian tattoo above his hip.

“Dean—” Castiel moans, almost desperate, tightening his grip on his light brown hair. Dean doesn’t need to be told twice, so he gets his mouth on the head of Cas’ swollen cock and sucks. “Dean—” he moans again, this time relieved and deliciously.

The hunter swirls his tongue, not swallowing too deep, just teasing the head and playing around. After a few licks, he swallows him down, pressing Cas’ cock against his throat and it earns him a filthy, loud moan from Cas, whose hands tighten on Dean’s hair. Dean bobs his head up and then down, and Cas starts to rock his hips in quick thrusts, fucking his mouth.

Dean swallows as deep as he can, following Cas’ desperate rhythm, moaning around his thick cock. The ex-angel keeps moaning Dean’s name, sounding more wrecked with every thrust of his hips and every bob of Dean’s head. Dean keeps sucking him off, enjoying the taste and the feeling of Cas’ cock in his mouth. He looks at his boyfriend through his eyelashes, admiring the flush of his cheeks, his parted mouth and his closed eyes. He looks so beautiful.

“Dean—” Castiel wails and he pulls Dean away from his cock, which makes the green eyed man grunt. Cas is panting, his chest going up and down fast. “If you keep doing that,” he begins to say hoarsely. “I’m going to come in your mouth.”

“Babe, you know I really like it when you come in my mouth,” Dean says wiggling his eyebrows.

“I do know that, assbutt,” he says chuckling. He grabs Dean by his shoulders and he rolls the two of them, reversing their positions one more time. He seizes the occasion and grabs the lube and a condom. “But I told you I was going to top.” His voice is deep and rough, and it makes things to Dean.

“Fuck, Cas, I really like it when you take control like this.”

Castiel smiles cockily, but a bit shyly before he kisses Dean desperate. The kiss doesn’t last too long, because he is soon pulling away to get his mouth on his cock. Dean makes a surprised gasp and he tilts his head up, placing his hands on Cas’ hair.

“Taking your revenge, Cas?” he asks moaning. He rocks his hips, pushing deeper and Castiel moans around his cock. His mouth is hot and wet and Dean adores it.

“It’s a good revenge,” Castiel says after pulling away. His lips wrap the swollen head of Dean’s cock as he starts fingering Dean, who didn’t pay attention to when Cas got his fingers lubed, but he doesn’t care. He has Cas’ mouth on his cock and his fingers in his hole; that’s all that matters.

When Cas has four fingers inside Dean, he pulls away his mouth and his fingers and wipes his hand. He leans onto Dean and he starts to slide inside him, making Dean gasp as he feels Cas’ long, hard cock pushing in.

Cas barely waits a second after being fully settled in and he starts to fuck Dean with quick thrusts that make Dean’s back arch off the mattress and scratch his boyfriend’s back. He lets out really loud moans with Cas’ name on them, clenching so tight around Cas that the ex-angel’s moans get as loud as Dean’s.

“Dean—! You are so tight!” Castiel moans desperate, changing the angle of his hips and hitting Dean’s sweet spot again, which makes Dean clench tighter and Castiel’s whole body shivers. “Dean!”

“Please, don’t stop, Cas— don’t—” Dean moans, increasing the rock of his hips and Castiel starts thrusting harder and quicker. “Fuck! Fuck— Cas— Cas—”

It feels really good. Dean presses Cas impossibly closer and he starts sucking his earlobe as his hands trace down his wonderful tattooed back restlessly. Cas keep fucking him, his movements get more desperate and Dean can’t help clenching around him really tight.

“Dean, I’m going to—” But Castiel can’t finish the sentence before he comes. His hips still move unconsciously a few more times before he stops and collapses onto Dean, who still hasn’t come, burying his face in his freckled neck. Dean can’t blame Cas; after blowing him, Cas was quite close to come. He has lasted more than both expected. Castiel lets out a grunt and he pulls away. “Sorry, I—”

“You don’t have to apologize, Cas,” Dean says smiling. He presses a couple of kisses on his lips. “After that blowjob, I don’t think I would have lasted this long if I were you.”

Castiel blushes and chuckles. “Just let me—” he begins to say, trying to move his hips in order to keep what he was doing before he came, but he is clearly exhausted, so Dean stops him and Castiel frowns at him, confused.

“Cas,” he says sweetly. He would have liked to come with Cas’ cock in his ass, but the ex-angel is exhausted after coming, and Dean knows from experience that it isn’t comfortable to keep fucking after an orgasm when your partner isn’t too close to coming. “You are exhausted, you can barely move.”

“But you haven’t come yet.”

“Yeah.” He pulls away from Cas, hating the loss of him. Cas keeps looking at him with a frown. “But I don’t wanna push you out of your limits.” He kisses Cas sweetly, trying to fade his frown away. “Do you think you can take it if I fuck you?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good.” He kisses his lips again and cups his face. “On your stomach, please,” he whispers. Before Castiel rolls onto his stomach, he takes off the condom and Dean tosses it away. Castiel presses his chest onto the mattress, finding a comfortable position while Dean grabs the lube and a condom. “Are you sure you are fine with this?”

“Yes, Dean, I am,” Castiel says looking at him. Dean is already kneeling on the mattress with Cas’ legs in between his. “I want you to come.”

Dean smirks as he applies the lube on his fingers. “So hot when you talk like that.” When it is warmed up, he gets a finger inside Castiel, who sighs happily. Cas’ libido won’t let him get hard again, but Dean knows he is going to enjoy this.

“You know,” Castiel begins to say. Dean has already gotten another finger inside him. “I’m starting to suspect that you blew me because you wanted to top.” He turns his face and gives Dean a sassy look.

“I promise you I didn’t do it because of that.” He is telling the truth; he didn’t think about it, he simply wanted to suck Cas’ cock. “You know I have a weakness for your cock.” His words make Castiel blush and he buries his face in the pillow, making Dean laugh as he gets the third finger inside. “But let’s admit it; this turn of the events has been good for both of us.” He gets his fourth finger inside and Castiel lets out a sweet moan. Dean stretches him a little bit more and he pulls his hand away, cleaning it before he grabs the upper side of Cas’ thighs and bends his knees, lifting his ass. “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, Dean, just fuck me already.”

Dean can’t help making a cocky smile. He starts pushing into Cas’ heat and Cas lets out sweet little moans. He is so tight and hot around Dean that it is maddening. Dean places his hands on Cas’ hips, holding all his weight. When he is fully settled in and Cas has adjusted to him, Dean lets out a happy groan and he begins to fuck him.

Dean keeps his grip on Cas’ hips as he thrusts in and out of him, pushing as deep as he can, feeling how Cas clenches around him. The ex-angel makes little moans and he fists the pillow, fucking into Dean. The hunter moves Cas’ hips, easing his moves, changing the angle for a more pleasurable feeling. He closes his eyes, parts his lips and tilts his head up when Cas gets incredibly tight around him.

“Cas— Fuck—”

He increases the speed, feeling the wonderful tightness and warmth of his boyfriend. It is maddening and Dean’s hips can’t stop. He digs his fingers in the tender flesh of Cas’ hips, hearing the sounds both of them are making. Dean never loses his rhythm, not even when he feels the warmth growing in his belly, telling him that he is getting close. He increases his speed a bit more, burying himself in the addicting heat of Cas until he comes with a loud moan and tilts his head up, still fucking Cas through his orgasm.

Dean lets out a breath and gets out of Cas. With one last effort, he takes off the condom and tosses it away before he lies onto Cas’ back, trying to catch his breath. He feels that Cas’ temperature isn’t as high as his, but he is still warm. He nuzzles the side of his neck and lets out a happy sigh, closing his eyes and enjoying the moment.

They stay in silence for a while before Cas speaks, “Dean.” The hunter makes a humming sound. “Can you move, please?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Dean apologizes as he rolls onto his back, lying on his size. He didn’t realize that he was pining Cas against the mattress for so long. He turns his face and looks at Cas, lying aside and looking at him. His elbow is on the pillow and he is resting his cheek on his hand. His hair goes in all the possible directions and he is still a bit flushed, looking really beautiful.

“Are you doing good?” he asks sassily.

Dean chuckles. “Yeah. Just need to catch my breath.”

“I can’t believe you got away with it.”

“I promise you that I didn’t plan this.” He looks at him with honest eyes and Castiel smiles. “But look on the bright side, we don’t have to clean.” He grins and Castiel rolls his eyes. “And besides, we both enjoyed the good things that come with topping and bottoming.”

“I have to agree with that.” He starts to caress Dean’s naked chest, drawing doodles on it. “But I’m still a bit mad because you made me fall onto the floor.” He makes an angry pout which is too adorable and Dean grins. “I’m serious, don’t give me that smile of yours.”

“What smile?”

“That one you are making. The one you make when you think I’m cute or adorable.”

“But you are cute and adorable, Cas.” He makes a guilty pout and Castiel glares him.

“I’m fierce and deadly, there’s nothing cute about it.”

Dean grabs his hands and intertwines their fingers. “Yeah, you are those things, but you are cute and adorable too. The best of both worlds.” His words make Castiel smile in a rogue way. “I’m a badass hunter and you still think I’m adorable.”

“That’s true.” He leans and kisses Dean tenderly. When they pull away, both are smiling.

“But you aren’t hurt from that fall, right?” Dean asks concerned.

“I’m not hurt, Dean.”

“Good.” He leans again and starts pressing little kisses on Cas’ lips, making the ex-angel giggle softly. “Don’t you think it’s time to sleep?”

“I’m having a good time,” he answers before pressing more kisses. “I don’t care how late it is.” He makes Dean lie aside too so their chests can be pressed together and he can caress Dean’s back and his hair. Dean cups his neck, feeling Cas’ hair on his fingertips and he tangles their legs together.

They keep kissing for a while, stroking each other and cuddling. When their lips are swollen, they pull away and they look at each other. Cas smiles and nuzzles Dean’s nose before he kisses it. His hand moves from Dean’s hand to the feather that belonged to him. Dean knows that the ex-angel is more than happy to see that Dean is carrying it all the time, that he never takes it off.

Castiel smiles and pulls his hand away from the feather and he caresses Dean’s hair, but his eyes are on Dean’s and he has that overwhelming look of his. “What?” Dean asks.

“I love you,” Castiel says.

“I l— I— damn,” Dean mutters frustrated and presses his forehead against Cas’, closing his green eyes. Cas can say that word easily and Dean can’t even think about it. “One day I’ll be able to say that freaking word, I swear.”

He feels Cas’ hand moving on his jaw and Dean opens his eyes. “You don’t have to say it, Dean. I know you do love me.” His smile is tender and full of sympathy.

“Yeah, but—” He takes a deep breath and he buries his face in the crook of his neck, feeling his overwhelming smell, like cotton and storm. “I’d like to say it out loud one day.”

“There’s no rush.” Castiel holds Dean tightly, caressing soothingly Dean’s hair. “You could never say it and I would still know that you love me.”

It’s a relief for Dean, but he wishes he could say it. Cas is all the time telling him things and Dean’s words never make it out. And Cas deserves to hear everything. “You’re so fucking awesome, Cas. And I’m a complete jerk.”

“You are a complete assbutt, not a jerk. Those terms are different.”

Dean chuckles. “You’re an idiot sometimes, did you know that?” he asks lifting his head so he can meet Castiel’s eyes. Castiel arches a brow. “But I L-word you so much.” Castiel smiles and kisses the top of his head. They fall into a nice silence and Dean sighs happily as he embraces all his limbs around Cas. “I don’t know about you, babe, but I’m definitely going to sleep.”

“Me too.” He switches off the lights and he tightens Dean in his arms. “Sweet dreams, beloved.”

 _Beloved_. It warms Dean’s heart and it leaves him speechless. He suppresses a gasp and he says, “You’re a sap.”

The dim light that comes from the only lamp they bought and that always keep on now, lets Dean see a big grin on Castiel’s lips. “Yes, Dean, I’m a sap.”

Dean knows that Cas knows that he is touched by the pet name he has used, but he is going to pretend that he doesn’t. Dean steals a kiss from his lips and buries his face into his neck before saying, “Sweet dreams, Cas.”

 

_____

 

When Dean wakes up, he is still in Cas’ arms. He smiles at that. He turns his face to look at the alarm clock and he sees that it’s 11:09 a.m., much later than his usual waking time. But what did he expect? They went to bed quite late and they had sex and made out lazily after it. Dean doesn’t know at what time they fell asleep, but it was really, really late.

“Fuck,” Dean mutters pulling away from Cas’ grip, sitting on the bed and rubbing his eyes.

The ex-angel grunts and opens his eyes to close them again. “Dean,” he grunts unpleased and buries his face in the pillow.

“It’s late, Cas, we should get up.” But what Dean gets as a response is a muffled groan. Dean sighs and he shakes Cas, but it only earns him being pushed away. Dean sighs again, this time louder and he looks at his boyfriend, deciding to lean onto his back and start kissing his neck and the skin behind his ear. “Cas, c’mon,” he says in between kisses. He also caresses his sides in a ticklish way. He feels Cas squirming under him and Dean smirks. “Cas, let’s get up.” He presses a few more kisses on Cas’ skin before he catches his earlobe in his mouth, which makes Cas moan sweetly. “Let’s take a shower together and have breakfast after that.”

Castiel moves his face away from the pillow and he glares Dean sweetly. “Will you make waffles?”

“Yeah, I will make waffles.”

Castiel smiles and kisses him. Dean moves away and both of them get up and they stretch their bodies, trying to shake off the remains from slumber. Dean can’t help admiring Cas’ glorious naked body and smile at it.

“What a glorious picture for the morning,” Dean flirts with a cocky voice.

Castiel frowns at first, but when Dean wiggles his eyebrows, he gets the message and he flushes. “You are not that bad either,” he teases as he removes the sheet and walks towards Dean, wrapping both of them with it.

Dean bites his lower lip and smiles before kissing him passionately. “You make mornings worth.”

Castiel’s blush deepens. “You are unusually fond this morning, are you okay?”

They start to walk towards the door. “Can’t I be fond for once in a while?

“Of course you can, it’s just unusual.”

Dean shrugs. It’s unusual, but Dean feels really good this morning; he always feels good because Cas is there with him, but he has woken up in an extraordinary mood. He smiles and kisses Cas, who is smiling too.

When they open the door they are surprised to find Charlie with the camera and she takes a photo of the two of them. Both of them look perplexed at their friend, who is grinning widely. “What the hell, Charlie?” Dean asks.

“Sam challenged me to get a photo of you two lovebirds and I accepted,” she explains grinning. “Now he owes me fifty bucks.” She walks towards the kitchen, leaving the couple confused.

“Our family is weird.”

Castiel hums in affirmation. “Yes, they are. But I really want to have that photo and put it on a frame.” He kisses Dean’s cheek and Dean looks at him with a funny look.

He has to admit that he wants that photo too.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> Christina couldn't beta this chapter, so I'll upload it once she does it ^^

Dean wakes up because he feels a terrible pain in his bicep. It is really intense and it hurts a lot. The dim light from the lamp on the desk lets him see that Cas is the reason behind that pain. He is digging his nails into Dean’s tender flesh and he can see that he is bleeding. But Dean doesn’t care about it because Cas is sweating and shaking; his face shows that he is suffering and Dean knows in that moment that his boyfriend is having a terrible nightmare.

“Cas,” Dean says shaking him in order to wake him up.

The ex-angel lets out a wail followed by some low, painful groans. “No, please, no,” Castiel whispers. “Dean, please.”

Hearing his name makes Dean’s blood turn cold. He is in Cas’ nightmare, that’s terrible. What if he is dreaming with the night Dean beat the shit out of him? Suddenly, Cas digs his nails tighter, extremely painful and Dean groans. “Cas, wake up,” he insists, shaking him harder. Cas’ wails increase, sounding in more pain. “C’mon, Cas, wake up.”

When Cas opens his eyes, he lets out a suffocating breath and he pulls away from Dean, sitting on the bed, looking at him with terror and wide eyes. Dean catches his arm softly, and looks into his eyes, sitting as well. Cas is sweating, pale and his breath is raggedy. His t-shirt is soaked with his sweat and his hair is messy and drenched in sweat.

“Hey,” Dean whispers softly. “It’s okay, Cas, I’m here.” He moves his hand to cup Cas’ face. The ex-angel closes his eyes and leans into the touch, sighing relieved at it. “It was just a nightmare.” A few tears fall from Cas’ closed eyes and he places his hand on top of Dean allowing the hunter to notice that there’s blood –his blood- on Cas’ fingertips.

“Dean,” Castiel whispers brokenly.

Dean gets closer and gets his arms around him. Cas immediately buries his face in Dean’s neck and rests one of his hands on his nape while the other fists the back of his t-shirt. “It’s okay, babe, I’m here. We’re here. It was just a nightmare.” He caresses Cas’ back soothingly, feeling how he relaxes in his arms. “Don’t worry, Cas, I’m here.”

Cas sighs again and his grip gets tighter, as if he wanted to make sure that he is truly awake. “Thank you, Dean.”

Dean kisses his temple and Castiel pulls away, but their arms are still around each other. He looks better, but he is still affected. “Better?”

“Yeah.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his face. “It was only a nightmare. I’m fine.”

“You look like shit, babe.”

Castiel chuckles and Dean can’t help chuckling too. “I know, I—” But he doesn’t finish the sentence. His eyes are on Dean’s bleeding bicep. He looks horrified at Dean and then he looks at his hand, seeing that his fingers are covered with Dean’s blood. He swallows hard and he looks back at the wound, touching it. “I hurt you.”

“It’s nothing, Cas,” Dean says careless.

“We need to heal you.” He starts to get up from bed and Dean gets up too. Castiel grabs his hand and they walk towards the bathroom. Dean would have insisted on saying that it’s nothing, that there’s no rush on healing him, but he knows Cas and Cas would drag him out of bed to heal him anyways.

Cas switches on the lights of the bathroom, making both of them narrow his eyes at the amount of light until his eyes seem to adapt. Dean sits on the edge of the bathtub while Cas starts grabbing everything that he needs to heal Dean. Before he sits down next to him, he washes his hand, removing Dean’s blood. Dean watches how Cas’ face turns paler and looks more in pain.

“Cas—” Dean begins to say.

“I’m sorry,” Castiel says. His voice breaks, as if he was suppressing a sob.

“It’s not your fault. You were having a nightmare. You could’ve perfectly kicked me or punch me. These things happen.” He reaches his wrist and moves him so he is facing him. He caresses the inner of his wrist and looks at his glassy eyes. “This isn’t the first time something like this happens to me. One time Sam almost broke my nose when we were kids while we were taking a nap. And he wasn’t even having a nightmare. He was dreaming that he was a superhero.”

Castiel makes a sad smile. “But I hurt you.”

“But not on purpose. It’s fine. I’m fine, don’t worry.” He smiles sweetly and stands up to cup Cas’ face before he kisses him tenderly. Cas lets out a gasp at first, but he leans into the kiss. “I’m good, okay? And this isn’t your fault, got it?”

“Got it,” he says nodding. “Sit down and let me heal you, please.” Dean does as he is told and Cas is soon sitting next to him, cleaning the wounds his nails left on him. “I clawed them too deep.”

“Thankfully your nails are short,” he says jokingly, trying to bring a smile to his boyfriend’s lips, but Cas keeps looking sad and worried. It doesn’t matter what Dean says; Cas is still going to think this is his fault. He looks really affected and Dean knows that it isn’t only about the wound; it is also about his nightmare. Before he asks him, Dean feels something dizzying in his stomach. “What was the nightmare about?”

Castiel sighs and starts bandaging Dean’s forearm. His eyes don’t look away from it. “That you died in my arms.” So that’s why Cas said his name. It isn’t good, but it isn’t as worst as what Dena thought. “I screwed things and you died because of it.” His voice is weak and hurt and Dean hates to hear Cas like that.

Dean grabs Cas’ chin in between his thumb and index finger, lifting his head so their eyes can meet. “I’m alive.”

“I know.” He makes a tiny, soft smile. “But that picture is still in my mind.”

“It was only a nightmare, Cas,” he whispers. Cas has already finished healing him. Dean grabs Cas’ hands and places them on his chest. “This is real. We’re here. We’re alive.” He leans into Cas and he kisses him gently, feeling how Cas’ hands move up on his chest, arriving to his nape, cupping it. “Everything’s good.”

Castiel closes his eyes and presses his forehead against Dean’s. He cups his face and he nods. Dean immediately hugs him, pressing him closer. “I love you, Dean. I love you so much.” He opens his eyes and sinks into Dean’s.

“I know,” Dean says before pressing a brief kiss on his lips. “And I L-word you too so much.” With his hand he wipes off a few tears that his boyfriend has let out.

“I’m terribly sorry for this, Dean, I—” He sighs and rubs his face.

“Nightmares can be terrible, I know. There’s nothing to apologize for, Cas.”

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean. When he pulls away he grabs all the stuff he has used and walks towards the sink to put them back in place. “Do you still have nightmares?”

“Sometimes. And I end up like shit, like you, especially with the one where—” He shuts up and takes a deep breath and Castiel turns to look at him with curious eyes. “Where I relive the moment when I beat the shit out of you when I had the Mark.” Those nightmares are the worst, but they are even more terrible when he kills Cas instead of letting him live. Those nightmares haven’t haunted him for a long time, but they can’t be forgotten easily, and neither the memory can.

Castiel walks towards him and sits next to him, holding his hands. “That happened a long time ago, Dean. And it wasn’t you. You did all of that because of the Mark.” It wasn’t only the Mark. Dean was conscious while he did that. “I know you would never hurt me. You could have killed me that night and you didn’t. That’s what matters.”

He has told himself the same. But he always feels terrible when he remembers that moment. Things have changed since that day and things have gotten much better in between he and Cas. And Dean knows that he will never hurt Cas; he would die before causing him any kind of pain. But sometimes the memory is too intense.

“You should change your clothes,” Dean begins to say, in an attempt to change the topic. “You’re drenched in sweat.”

“Yes, I am,” Castiel says chuckling. “And I think I need a quick shower” He pinches his t-shirt and looks at it. It is completely stuck on his skin. “Can you bring me a pair of boxers and a clean t-shirt?”

“Sure.” He kisses his forehead and stands up, leaving the bathroom.

He grabs everything Cas asked for and he walks back to the bathroom, where Cas is already showering. The temperature is high and the air is filled with steam. He leaves Cas’ clothes on the sink, hearing how the water stops. All Cas needed was some quick shower to remove the sweat. He steps out of the shower and Dean can’t help grinning at looking at his beautiful, naked body, making Cas blush.

“Fuck, you are gorgeous,” Dean says.

“Thank you, Dean,” Castiel says, his blush intensifying.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yes, I am. Showers can solve a lot of problems.” He grabs a towel and he starts drying himself.

Dean leans on the sink and watches him. “Yeah, they can.”

“But you helped me a lot. The shower just helped me a little bit more.” His words sound sweet and they make Dean smile widely. “Does your arm hurt?” he asks pointing at the bandage.

“Nah, there’s some tiny soreness, but nothing intense. I wish all my wounds could be like this.”

Castiel smiles and he gets his clothes. “Thank you,” he says referring to the clothes.

“You’re welcome.” He watches how Cas begins to get dressed. “Do you want to eat something before we get back to bed? Or I could make some hot cocoa if you want.”

“A hot cocoa sounds good.” He smiles after putting on his t-shirt. “I’ll bring my dirty clothes to the washing machine while you start preparing the hot beverages.” He dedicates Dean another smile before they step out of the bathroom.

The floor is cold under Dean’s bare feet, but he likes it; it brings a domestic feeling to him. And the domestic feeling increases when he starts preparing hot cocoa and he hears Cas arriving to the kitchen. The ex-angel presses his chest against Dean’s back, embracing Dean’s waist, resting his hands on his tummy. Dean turns his face to smile at Cas, whose chin is resting on his shoulder. They kiss sweetly.

Dean keeps preparing the hot cocoa. Soon the smell of the chocolate mixing with the hot milk is strong and both of them hum happily at it. Dean pulls away from Cas and goes to the fridge and gets whipped cream, pouring in on top of both mugs and he grabs one of the cookies he bake yesterday and crumbles it, turning it into small pieces that fall onto the cream.

“Here,” Dean says with a proud grin and Castiel licks his lips in anticipation, which makes Dean grin wider. Castiel takes a sip and closes his eyes. He has some cream on the skin above his upper lip, but he quickly removes it with his tongue as he smiles. “So?”

“Delicious,” Castiel says.

Dean chuckles. “Thanks.” He takes a sip too, feeling the sweetness of the beverage, enjoying how the cocoa tastes with the whipped cream and the cookies.

“You are really good when it comes with sweet food,” Castiel begins to say as he takes a sit. Dean follows him, sitting on his left. “If you weren’t forced into this life, I bet you would have been a wonderful baker.”

Dean huffs a laugh. “I don’t think I would’ve chosen bakery.” He looks at Cas, who gives him an inquiring look. Dean shrugs casually and looks at the mug, seeing how the cream starts to mix with the cocoa slowly, melting into it. “I think that if I wasn’t a hunter, I would’ve been a mechanic. Or a rockstar, if things went pretty good.” It makes Castiel chuckle. “But I don’t know, man, I—” He takes a deep breath and grimaces. “Life could’ve gone in so many different ways if I didn’t become a hunter. I don’t know where I’d be right now.” He has a bare idea based on that dream that djinn induced him almost a decade ago. His mother was alive, and Jess, but he and Sam weren’t as united as they are.

“Would you have liked to have that life?” Castiel asks softly, examining him with his curious, blue eyes.

“Well, mom would be alive, and Jess would too. Sam would have the life he wanted to have,” he begins to say. With his finger he touches some cream that hasn’t melted yet and he looks at it before he licks it. “But I wouldn’t have met you,” he adds looking at Cas. “Not everything is that bad after all.”

“It’s strange to hear you say that.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah.” There’s a pause and Dean sighs. “I mean, this life is hard and we’ve lost a lot of people that I wish they were here. We’ve been through too much shit, but here we are, me and Sammy have a home, the world isn’t gonna end, we only have to fight simpler monsters and ghosts and I have an awesome boyfriend who I L-word so damn much and he feels the same about me.” He looks at Cas and he smiles at him. Cas’ cheeks are soon painted with a lovely blush and he is smiling shyly. “I think I can say that life finally got better, all things considered.”

“I’m really glad to hear that.” He kisses Dean’s cheek and caresses his shoulder before he takes a last sip of his hot cocoa.

Dean still has a couple of sips left. “What about you? Did your life got better?” he asks before taking a long sip.

“Absolutely. I’m with the man I love and I finally have a home and a lovely and caring family.”

“We are lovelier than angels?” he asks arching an eyebrow.

“Definitely.”

Dean laughs. “Well, I can’t be surprised. Angels were douchebags. Except you.”

“You thought I was a douchebag when we met.”

“Well, yeah, but I’ve got to know you better.” Both of them smile. “Besides at that time you got a stick in your ass that made you an insufferable dick.”

“You really like to point that out, don’t you?”

Dean answers that question by grinning cockily and Castiel rolls his eyes. There’s a small silence as Dean drinks the remaining cocoa. He looks at Cas and he caresses his back. “Do you think you’ll be able to fall asleep?”

Castiel nods and hums in affirmation. “I don’t have to worry about it,” he begins to say as he brings both mugs to the sink. “If I have another nightmare, you will be there when I wake up.”

“How do you manage to make things sound cheesier than what they already are?”

“By the same way you make things sound cockier than what they already are,” he snaps with a sweet smile.

Dean bursts into laughter. He stands up and walks towards Cas, placing his hands on his hipbones. “There’s no one like you, Cas.” And he leans to kiss him passionately.

 

_____

 

While Dean makes scrambled eggs for breakfast, Castiel makes him coffee. Cas has woken up in a good mood this morning, despite of the nightmare he suffered last night, but once they got back to bed, he fell asleep easily and he didn’t have any nightmare that could torment him.

“Here,” Castiel says handing Dean coffee.

“Thanks, babe,” Dean says as he takes a sip. Cas might be terrible at cooking, but there’s no one in this planet who can make coffee as delicious as Cas. Dean hums pleased and leaves the mug on the counter as he keeps making their breakfast. “Your coffee is awesome.”

Castiel smiles happily and pleased with himself. “It’s a really nice compliment coming from the best cook in the world.”

“I’m not the best cook, Cas.”

“You are it for me,” he whispers as he kisses his cheek, and Dean feels how the heat of his flush grows in him. “Do you want any other piece of fruit?” he asks as he shows him a bowl with fruit salad that he has prepared while Dean made pancakes.

He steals a piece of strawberry and shakes his head as he eats it. “That’s good.”

“Good morning, guys,” Sam says from the doorframe.

“Good morning, Sam,” Dean and Castiel say.

“Do you want some coffee, Sam?” Castiel asks as he moves towards the cupboard to grab Sam’s mug.

“Yeah, thanks, Cas.”

Dean finishes with the scrambled eggs and he serves them on a plate. He turns off the stove and brings the pancakes and the scrambled eggs to the table, where Sam is already sitting. Cas joins him immediately with their mugs with coffee.

“You forgot it on the counter,” Castiel says as he kisses Dean’s head and sits next to him.

“I only have two hands,” Dean says, making Castiel smile. He didn’t forget it; he knows that he left it on the counter and he knew that Cas was going to bring it to the table.

“What happened to your arm?” Sam asks worried, pointing the bandage on Dean’s bicep.

“Cas is quite a kitty.”

Castiel narrows his eyes in confusion and Sam makes a perplexed face. “What?” he asks disconcerted. Dean is about to explain it, but Sam makes a grimace. “Please, if it is something related with sex, save it for yourself.”

“We’re not into that kind of stuff, Sam,” he says with a grimace too. He doesn’t miss the weird look that Cas gives him, not fully understanding what they are talking about.

“Then, how did you get that?”

“I had a nightmare and I dig my nails too deep. I didn’t know until I woke up,” Castiel explains, sounding ashamed. Dean caresses his thigh comfortingly.

“But don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt.”

“Good,” Sam says smiling. “And how are you, Cas?”

“I’m good. Dean was really sweet to me.” His words make Dean blush in embarrassment, because he isn’t use to hear Cas talking about him like that in front of someone.

Sam laughs. “Dean being sweet. That’s something I never thought I would hear.”

“Screw you, Sammy!” Dean exclaims and he kicks his brother leg under the table, but it only makes Sam’s laughter increase and Castiel starts laughing too. “You had to tell that, huh?”

“I wasn’t telling any lie. Besides, you get so adorable and pretty when you blush,” Castiel says as he kisses Dean’s lips briefly. Dean’s blush only deepens.

“I’m hating you so much right now,” he mutters.

His brother and his boyfriend keep laughing, and although Dean keeps blushing, he really likes hearing and seeing them laugh.

 

_____

 

Since it is a really nice day, Dean suggests Cas to take a walk, and the ex-angel accepts. The temperature it’s nice; not too hot or too cold, and the soft breeze that blows it is even nicer. There aren’t any hunts for today, nothing weird has happened lately, so they can take a walk and hold their hands, enjoying the day.

The bunker is quite separated from Lebanon and from the road, which makes the place really quiet and birds can be heard along with the sound the air makes when it caresses the trees.

“Wanna go somewhere in particular?” Dean asks, looking at Castiel.

Castiel shrugs. “Not really. Do you have somewhere in mind?”

“Nope. I just wanted to take a walk with you.”

“I would say, that you just wanted an excuse to hold hands,” he says sassily, almost smirking.

“You’ve got a problem with that?” he asks arching an eyebrow and smiling in a rogue way.

Castiel chuckles. “Not at all.”

They keep walking, holding hands the whole time. They talk about everything and nothing at all. Without noticing it, they arrive to Lebanon and they walk through a nice park, admiring the calmness of the place. They spot an ice-cream stall and they buy one of Ferrero Rocher for Dean and one of white chocolate for Cas and they head towards a bench to sit down while they eat them.

Both of them share their ice-creams and in Dean’s opinion, both flavors are delicious. He is considering coming to this park every day to taste every flavor and enjoy the wonderful sweetness and coolness of ice-creams.

“I really like it when we have time to do things like this,” Castiel says as he uses his index finger to get the melted ice-cream on the cornet. He looks at his finger, as if he was fascinated by it, and he puts it in his mouth, licking it clean.

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, it’s nice to have time for us. But to be honest, we have a lot of time for us, considering that we’re hunters.” He licks his ice-cream, adoring how tasty and sweet it is. “Back when dad disappeared, we’ve got a case every week, now it’s every two weeks or so.”

“Do you miss hunting every week?”

“Geez, no.” He chuckles again. “I like hunting, but I’m getting older and my body isn’t what it used to be. I’m almost forty, so it’s nice to have some rest and get some time to just enjoy the simple things in life.” His words make Castiel smile softly. “Hell, I don’t even know if I ever had ice-cream on a park.”

“Well, I can assure you that I haven’t.” He smirks and Dean laughs. “There are so many things I have done with you that I never did before.”

“Such as?” he asks arching one eyebrow and smirking.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You know the sexual ones, if that’s what you are referring to.”

“You got me,” he says smiling and he squeezes Cas’ thigh soothingly. “You know, I kind of wish I was your first kiss or your first time,” he confesses shyly and looking at his ice-cream, which is slowly melting.

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’m gonna hate Meg forever for taking me your first kiss. And April for having sex with you first.”

Castiel frowns and glares him. “What am I? Like some kind of trophy you had to get?” He sounds quite pissed off.

“What?” he asks confused and shocked. How can Cas think that? “No, of course not, Cas.”

“Then?” He sounds a little bit less angry, but not too much.

Dean sighs and nibbles his lower lip. “I’ve wanted to be the one, y’know?” He looks at Cas, who is frowning and narrowing his eyes and Dean takes a deep breath. “I— I wanted to be the one who discovered all of that to you and— I don’t know, I guess I wanted it to be special for us. You know I have a secret cheesy side.” When Dean looks at Castiel, he is looking at him with his lips pressed together, trying to hide his smile. “C’mon, just say it.”

Castiel laughs. “You are definitely cheesy.” He keeps laughing and Dean looks down, hiding his grin. “But it would have been nice if you were my first kiss and my first sexual intercourse.”

“Cas, geez, don’t call it sexual intercourse, it sounds so fucking scientific.”

“Anyway, despite of that,” he says ignoring Dean’s comment. “You have been my first of a lot of things.” He makes that gorgeous, sweet smile of his and Dean can’t help making one of his own. “You are the first and only one who I’ve ever loved and I’ll love.”

“Damn, Cas,” Dean says covering his face, hiding his blush. He hears how Cas laughs in a beautiful way. “I knew you were gonna say something like that.” He shakes his head a licks more of his ice-cream, enjoying the sound of Cas’ soft laughter. He can’t help leaning onto him and kissing him, feeling the sweet taste of white chocolate. Cas hums happily and fists the front of his t-shirt, pulling him closer. “But I’ve gotta admit that’s pretty awesome,” he whispers into Cas’ mouth when they pull away, looking into those too blue eyes.

Castiel smiles and kisses him sweetly and happily.

 

_____

 

When they get back home after their walk, it’s time to make supper, but before Dean goes to the kitchen, Cas tells him to go to the bathroom with him and check how his arm is doing.

Cas removes the bandage, revealing that the wound is closed. Cas didn’t dig his nails too deep after all. Dean bleed, but he knew that the wound wasn’t important; it hurt slightly and it smarted, but that’s all.

“See?” Dean says looking at Cas. “You didn’t hurt me at all.”

Castiel gives him a serious look. “I did hurt you. But not too much.”

“Hey.” He grabs Castiel’s wrists and pulls him closer, leaning their forehead together. He caresses the inner of Cas’ wrists and he presses a brief kiss. “You were having a nightmare. We can’t control what we do when we’re sleeping. It wasn’t your fault. And I’m fine.”

Castiel places his hand where he nailed him and he sighs. “You are quite tough.”

Dean laughs and it makes Castiel smile. He presses another kiss and he pulls away. “I’m gonna make supper, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean starts walking out of the bathroom and he stops in the door, turning around to look at Cas, who is washing his hands. “Cas,” he says and Castiel looks at the mirror, looking at Dean’s reflection. “You’re gonna help me tonight with dinner.”

“Do you think that’s a wise idea?” he asks sassily.

“Yeah.” He begins to walk towards Cas until he is next to him and he places his hand on the small on his back. “I know you aren’t a great cook, but I think it’s time you start learning how to cook.”

“I know how to cook.”

“Instant noodles don’t count as cooking,” he says glaring him. They start to walk away from the bathroom, heading to the kitchen.

“Why not?”

“You only have to boil the water, that can’t be considered as cooking.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Fine. But I will not be responsible if tonight’s dinner turns out to be terrible.”

“Relax, it’s something easy and I’ll guide you. It’s just some steak with a salad.” He starts opening the drawers, looking for an apron. When he founds it, he shows it to Castiel and he puts it on him, knotting it. “Now you are ready.”

“I fail to see why wearing an apron is going to help me with cooking.”

Dean sighs and he rolls his eyes. “Just— never mind. Come here, let me show you how to season meat.”

Dean teaches him the basics. There isn’t anything complicated about the first steps and making a salad. In fact, Cas has prepared a couple of salads and he is quite good at dressing them. His big problem resides when he has to use the stove or the oven. He never knows when things are done and he always ends up burning things and making them look like coal.

The moment to fry the steaks comes and Dean shows him the amount of olive oil needed on the pan and how to spread it on it. Castiel pays attention to everything he does. Dean places the pan on the stove and he waits for the oil to be hot.

“Now the oil is hot,” Dean begins to say. “So get the meat in the pan.”

“What?” Castiel asks, a bit panicked. “Me?”

“Yeah,” he says casually. Castiel is about to say something and Dean places behind him, placing his hands on his hips and pressing his chest against his back. “You’re gonna do fine, Cas. And if something goes wrong, I’m right here. But I know you’re gonna do great.”

Castiel sighs and grabs the steak and puts it on the pan carefully, sighing relieved. “Okay,” he murmurs.

Dean gets his hand on Cas’, the one holding the tweezers, and he moves it so Cas can move the steak. “Make sure that it’s touching the oil,” he explains and Castiel nods. “This one’s for you, and you like it extremely well done, so it’s gonna take a while.”

“How do I know when it’s done?”

“Use the tweezers and lift a part of it.” He does what he is saying, revealing that the steak still has a red shade, meaning that it’s still very rare. “Still, turn it over now, so the meat can acquire a hot temperature and it doesn’t end up being like gum.”

Castiel uses the tweezers to turns the steak over and he grins when he does it. “I did it, Dean!”

“Yeah, you did.” He kisses his cheek, making Cas giggle. “See? I told you were gonna do fine.” He kisses his ear and nuzzles his neck, making Cas purr happily. “Now get the pepper shaker and drop some pepper on the steak.”

“Why now? Why didn’t we do it when we seasoned?”

“Because it’s just a glint; trust me, that’s what they do in some cooking shows.”

Castiel gives him a curious look as he grabs the pepper. “Do you watch cooking shows?”

“Yeah,” he says casually and Castiel grins widely. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just that I find it adorable that you watch cooking shows.”

“Shut up and put some pepper on the meat, Cas,” he says rolling his eyes.

They keep making supper, well, Cas keeps making it under Dean’s supervision. The more time that passes, the more confident Cas seems to get and Dean is so happy and proud of him. Cas needs to learn and practice more, but for now, he is doing really good.

“I told you that you’d do great,” Dean says when all the steaks are done.

“We still need to see how the taste is,” Castiel reminds him.

“It would be awesome, you idiot.” He leans and starts pressing sweet, little kisses on his lips, making both of them hum sweetly.

Suddenly, Sam clears his throat and both of them pull away and look at the door, where the tall Winchester is. “Are you guys done?” Sam asks smirking.

“I was only congratulating Cas for making dinner tonight.”

“You cooked tonight?” he asks surprised as he takes a seat, taking a look at the food.

“I did,” Castiel answers, sitting too along with Dean. Everything is already settled on the table and waiting for them. “I already apologize for the bad result.”

“Judging by the smell, I bet they are pretty good.” Sam smiles.

It turns out that dinner is really good and Dean congratulates the chef with a passionate kiss.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the susbcriptions :)
> 
> I will upload the chapter without mistakes once Christina can beta it :)

The waitress arrives with their meals and the three of them stop talking about the case they are working on in Metairie, Louisiana. Dean dedicates his brother a sassy look as the red-haired girl puts on the table the salad he ordered. Freaking Sam and his too healthy habits. Cas at least ordered something better; a chicken wrap with strips of bacon, lettuce, tomato and cheese. His boyfriend has better taste than his brother. But Dean thinks he wins their tastes when the big burger with a fried egg on its top is set in front of him, adoring how the strong smell of meat, bacon and egg fills his nose.

“That isn’t healthy at all,” Castiel mutters when Dean tastes the first bite.

Dean rolls his eyes before he glares his boyfriend, sitting next to him. “Now you too?” Dean asks with his mouth full. “I thought I had enough of the healthy talk with Sam.” He takes another bite of the burger. He prefers the ones he makes at home, but this one tastes really good too.

Castiel’s glare is deadly. “Sorry if I care about your health, Dean. I’m terribly sorry for worrying about cholesterol in your arteries. I would really appreciate it if you weren’t digging your grave with all that grease.” He sounds really sarcastic and fierce that it scares Dean a little; the ex-angel can be a little terrifying when he is serious and angry.

“There’s no need to get that angry,” he murmurs, because he doesn’t want the whole restaurant to hear their stupid argument. “You don’t protest when I make these at home.”

“Because those don’t have this amount of grease.” He points at the hamburger and looks at him with an obvious face, but his eyes are full of concern.

Dean sighs and rubs his face, stealing a quick glance to his brother, sitting in front of them, watching them silently and with a look that Dean knows it means ‘your boyfriend is right’. The older Winchester takes a deep breath and looks back at Cas. “So what, do you want me to give it back when I have already eaten half of it?”

“No. I want you to start taking care of yourself and eating healthy when we don’t eat at home,” he explains. His voice is worried but sweet. He grabs Dean’s left hand and he squeezes it, looking at Dean’s eyes with a pleading sight. “Please.”

Dean grunts. “Fuck. Okay, fine, I will. From now on,” he mutters unhappy. He doesn’t like the idea of giving up fast food. But Cas is really concerned, so Dean is going to try it. Castiel smiles happily and he squeezes his hand. Even Sam is smiling. “Your damn blue eyes are my fucking weakness.”

“They have always been,” Sam says smirking, his words earning him a glare from Dean followed by a kick under the table. “Anyway,” he keeps saying, clearly ignoring Dean. “Let’s get back to those zombies.”

“Dude, this is the last greasy burger I’m gonna eat. I would like to eat it without thinking about zombies and dead people and stuff like that.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Do you want us to give you a room to take it?”

“It’d be a nice consideration.”

“For fuck’s sake, Dean,” Castiel mutters irritated, rolling his eyes and Dean can’t help the smirk he makes. Cas barely curses; only when they are having sex or when he is annoyed. One way or another, Dean finds it adorable and sexy.

“Hey, this is like my bachelor party of grease.”

“Your bachelor party?” Sam asks huffing a sarcastic laugh. “The things I have to hear.”

“I don’t even know what that is,” Castiel says confused and frowning.

“Maybe you’ll know one day,” Sam says and he looks at Dean with a smirk. While Castiel’s confused frowns intensifies, Dean glares at his brother for insinuating marriage. Thankfully, Castiel doesn’t get the hint, but Dean does, and he doesn’t want to get in there yet. He isn’t a guy who is fond about marriage, and he and Cas have been together for months, why is Sam even mentioning it? His little brother is a pain in the ass sometimes.

“Why would parties be only restricted to bachelors?” Castiel asks, tilting his head and looking at Dean, because Sam hasn’t cleared his doubts. Dean looks at him and he finds his boyfriend too adorable. “Are there parties only for people who are dating someone or married too?” His questions only make Dean smile and Castiel keeps been bewildered. “Why are you smiling? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, babe,” Dean says before giving him a brief kiss. They are in a southern state and Dean knows that people aren’t quite tolerant with a gay relationship, but Dean doesn’t give a shit about that kind of people. “You’re adorable,” he whispers, low enough so Sam can’t hear it.

“Still, I don’t know the concept of a bachelor party. Unless if its purpose consists on reuniting them so they can find someone.”

“Just let it go, Cas. It’s some stupid human thing that doesn’t matter.” He doesn’t miss his brother’s silent questioning look and Dean gives him a warning glare that makes his brother chuckle. “Okay, then, let’s talk about those zombies, because when have we not talked about monsters while eating?” He makes a wicked smile.

“The simple life,” Sam says, sighing. “Any idea why there are zombies out here?”

“There’s a voodoo ritual that awakens the dead and it lasts for a week,” Castiel begins to explain. “A long time ago it was used as a way to punish the enemies or those who weren’t righteous and liked to spread the evil and the pain among the living.”

“Yeah, ‘cause awakening the dead to kill people isn’t considered spreading the evil,” Dean says sarcastically.

Sam and Castiel chuckle before the ex-angel keeps talking, “But it wasn’t a ritual that could be done anytime. The full moon had to coincide on the third week of the month.”

“Which is this week,” Sam says and Castiel nods. “But how is it possible that zombies can attack on every night during a week?”

“Before night ends,” Castiel keeps explaining. “The dead come back to their tombs and it is as if they have never left them. But when the next night arrives, they emerge again and kill those who couldn’t get killed the previous night.”

“And what if they’ve killed everyone they had to kill before the week finishes?” Dean asks as he chews the last piece of his burger.

“In that case, the dead ones will kill anyone they find in order to feed themselves.”

“Awesome.” He grunts and rubs his eyes. “How do we stop them?”

“You can kill them like any zombie, but the person behind the ritual can awake more the following one. The safest way will be to burn the voodoo cross stained with the blood of the person behind the ritual.”

“And how do we find that person?” Sam asks rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. “The victims have been killed for being considered something we still don’t know, so apart from that, they didn’t have anything in common.”

Dean makes a thoughtful grimace and he looks at Cas, still eating his wrap. “Do you know the ingredients needed to do the ritual?” he asks and Castiel nods. “Are they rare?” Again, his ex-angel nods in response. “We’ve to find a store where they sell that stuff and ask the owner who bought those things.”

“What if that person bought it on the internet?”

“I don’t think you can buy eyes of a chupacabra on the internet,” Castiel says casually.

Sam and Dean exchange a look of disbelief. “Weirder things I’ve seen on the internet, trust me.”

 

_____

 

It turns out that there’s a store that sells everything needed for voodoo in the town. It’s the only one, and they are sure that the person responsible of awakening the dead must have bought everything, or almost everything, in that store.

Before they head towards it, Castiel makes three hex bags for them, in case the dependent gives them a voodoo curse. It consists on a few herbs that Dean knows from the greenhouse in the bunker and a couple of drops or their blood, making them more powerful. Dean makes sure of dedicating a wide, proud grin to his boyfriend because he knows all this stuff.

They drive towards the store, which is in the other side of the town, a bit far from their motel, something that Dean thanks the moment they step into the store. It gives him a bad feeling the moment he takes the first step into it, a feeling of wrongness taking over his body the deeper he gets into it. He looks at the voodoo stuff hanging on the walls, on the ceiling and resting on the shelves. His instinct is telling him to get the hell out of there, but they need to talk to the dependent.

The dependent is an old, black man with dark freckles across his face, eyes that look more gray than blue and with salt pepper hair. Dean doesn’t miss the odd look the man gives them when he sees them. Dean is sure that he knows they aren’t customers.

“What can I help you with?” The black man asks with a rough voice.

“We’re looking for the person who bought chupacabra’s eyes, a bone of a hellhound and blood of a reaper, amongst other things,” Castiel says casually, giving a studying look to the man.

The dependent frowns and gives him a calculative look. “I can’t tell you anything like that.” He sounds challenging and cocky. “You don’t have any right to know that information.” He dedicates them a wicked grin and glares them. “Now, if you aren’t going to buy, I would like it if you left my store.”

“You do know what those things you sold are for, right?” Dean asks and the man’s light eyes fix on him, and there’s something mysterious on them that Dean doesn’t like at all.

“That’s why you have all those herbs mixed with snake skin on your door,” Sam says with his smartass smile and Dean takes a quick look to the door, seeing that his brother is right. “To protect yourself from what that person has awoken.”

The black man clenches his jaw and he starts to say some words in a language that Dean doesn’t recognize. Castiel sighs and he shows the hex bag that is hanging around his neck. “That spell isn’t going to work,” Castiel says and the dependent’s eyes widen in surprise. “Or any other voodoo spells.”

“How do you know about that protection?” the dependent asks in shock.

“I know a little bit of everything,” he sasses, and Dean smirks. “Now, are you going to give us the name of that client?” And Dean won’t admit it out loud, but seeing Cas like that, it’s something that makes him all tingly and proud.

“What if I don’t?”

Castiel starts speaking in what it seems to be the same language the man was talking before. Sam and Dean exchange some looks, not fully knowing what’s going on or what Castiel is saying, but the look of horror in the eyes of the old man tells them that it isn’t something nice.

“Okay,” the dependent says, showing his palms as a sign of surrender. “Andrew Johnson. His name is Andrew Johnson.” His voice is shaking but everyone knows he isn’t lying.

“Thank you,” Castiel says and he starts to walk out of the store, followed by Sam and Dean.

“But he will know you’re coming,” the man says before they leave, and he gives them an angry, but warning look. Still the three of them keep walking away after his words.

“What the hell did you tell him to scare the shit out of him like that?” Sam asks once they are out, walking towards the Impala.

“An old voodoo spell that consists in a slowly and painful death. I will save you the nasty details. Only very powerful people know about it and can perform it, and I might have lied about my strength on that matter and he might have thought that I could curse him with it, given that I was reciting the first line of that spell, but of course, I wasn’t causing him anything at all.”

There’s a tiny silence in between them and Dean looks impressed. “You know that you’re sometimes scary, right?” Dean asks with widen eyes.

Castiel smiles and he kisses Dean briefly. “You should keep that in mind for the next time we have an argument.”

While Sam bursts into laughter, Dean makes a fake laugh. “Very funny.”

 

_____

 

It’s already night when they drive towards Andrew Johnson’s house. They haven’t left the car yet; they are staring at the house and looking around. The streets are extremely quiet, and Dean knows that isn’t anything good.

“Do you think he knows we’re coming?” Sam asks in a whisper.

“Yes,” Castiel says.

“And the hex bags won’t protect us from him?” Dean asks, turning to look at Castiel, sitting on the backseat.

“He might have known about us the moment we stepped in town and I’m sure he marked us in his list,” he explains as he checks that his gun is loaded. “Still, the hex bags will protects us from any other spell he can cast out.”

“But zombies will come after us.”

“Yes, they will.”

Dean sighs and he looks at the house again, feeling the usual adrenaline and anticipation he always feels in every hunt. “Ready?” he asks, looking at his brother and his boyfriend, who nod at the same time. “Show time.” He opens the door and he steps out of the car.

The moment the three of them are outside in the street, before they take a few more steps towards the house, the quietness disappears, leading to the guttural groans of the zombies that are running towards them.

“Shit,” Dean mutters as he sees almost fifty of zombies in total, running towards them from every street.

“We need to destroy the cross, now!” Castiel yells.

They start to run towards the house, but more zombies appear out of nowhere and they get closer to them. One manages to get Cas, ending both of them on the floor, and Dean’s heart stops beating for a moment when he sees the zombie is about to bite Cas. Without thinking it twice, Dean runs towards them to help his boyfriend, but Cas manages to stab him in the forehead and kills the zombie before Dean can reach them.

Dean helps Cas to stand up and he starts shooting a few zombies, Cas joining him. There are a lot and both of them know that they don’t have enough bullets and some of them will get them.

“Get in the damn house, Sam!” Dean yells without stopping shooting. He can see from the corner of his eyes that Sam is shooting zombies too. “Me and Cas got this!”

“Be careful!” Sam yells before he breaks a window and steps into the house.

More zombies keep coming, and it feels as if for every zombie they kill, another one appears. Bullets end up soon and Dean and Castiel have to use their knifes to stab them in their heads, which means getting really close. Dean ends up on the floor with a couple of zombies onto him, willing to eat him, but he kills them all. But there’s a moment when five are onto him, holding him and he can’t use anything to kill them. But Cas appears out of nowhere, looking as badass as he has always looked when he fights, and he kills all of them.

“Step away from my boyfriend,” Castiel mutters angry and frustrated as he helps Dean to stand up.

Dean can’t help laughing at Cas’ words, because he finds it hilarious, it must be a thing caused by the adrenaline, but his laughter fades away when more zombies get onto them, and Dean feels how the glass from the window Sam broke let him bleeding in some places when he feel onto the grass.

They keep killing zombies, but more keep coming. Every time they end up on the floor and kill zombies, they stand up, only to find themselves in the same position as they were before. It is stressful and Dean isn’t sure for how long they are going to be able to hold this fight.

Cas is about to stab another zombie when suddenly, all the zombies disappear, becoming dust in front of them. Dean looks perplexed at the amount of dust on the grass, each little mountain belonging to a zombie before he looks at Cas, who has a few wounds from the broken glass too, but there’s some blood falling from the corner of his mouth.

“Sam must have destroyed the cross,” Castiel says with an exhausted voice.

Dean nods and he lets out a relieved breath. “You good?” he asks looking at Castiel, who is wiping the blood from his mouth.

“Yeah, you?” He walks towards Dean and he cups his face, looking at his wounds. His eyes are full of tenderness and worry.

“Yeah, I’ll live.” He chuckles and grabs Castiel’s hand, pressing his bloody knuckles to his lips and kissing them.

“You guys are good?” Sam asks, stepping out of the house from the window. He has a small scratch on his face and his hair is messy, but he is fine, which makes Dean feel completely relieved.

“Yeah,” Dean breathes out. “What happened to Johnson?”

“The moment I burnt the cross, he started to burn too, as ghosts do and then, he turned into dust,” he explains as he look around, frowning at the grey dust scattered on the grass. “Zombies burnt too?”

“No. They simple volatilized and became dust,” Castiel answers.

“We should head back to the motel before cops arrive,” Dean suggests, placing his hand on the small of Castiel’s back, telling him to start walking.

“We better,” Sam says.

 

_____

 

Sam grunts as Castiel heals the wound on his cheek, and Dean rolls his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re grunting over a scratch,” Dean says laughing. “You’ve been much worse.”

“It burns,” Sam complains before Castiel pulls away. “Thanks, Cas.”

“You are welcome, Sam,” Castiel says smiling. The taller Winchester stands up from the king size bed of the motel room. They got one bedroom with two queens for Sam and this one for Dean and Castiel. Naturally, the owner doesn’t suspect that Dean and Castiel are sleeping together. Dean isn’t sure about the owner’s opinion about a homosexual relationship, but the moment Dean saw the guy, he suspected that he wasn’t very tolerant. “Your turn, Dean.”

Dean sits down on the bed and Castiel starts to clean the wounds scattered on his face; they aren’t too deep or too grave, but they need to be cleaned. The one that seems to be a bit nastier is the one in his forearm. There were a few glasses in it, but he managed to remove them.

“So, our job here is done, right?” Sam asks as he sits on a chair, looking how Castiel heals Dean.

“Yes, it is,” Castiel says. “Still, I would recommend you to keep the hex bag close, just in case.”

“Do you think the guy from the store might want to try something on us?”

“Perhaps.” He starts to apply antiseptic on Dean’s wounds and then, he begins to bandage Dean’s forearm. “Is it too tight?” he asks looking at Dean’s eyes.

“It’s perfect,” Dean says smiling. Cas might not have his mojo to heal them with a simple brush of his fingers, but he is really good when it comes to heal in the human way. “Now let’s heal you,” he murmurs when Cas is done with his wounds.

“Well, I’m gonna go back to my room and sleep,” Sam comments, standing up. “Do you guys need anything else?”

“We’re fine, Sam, thank you,” Castiel says smiling.

“Then, goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Sam,” Dean and Castiel say.

Sam leaves the room, leaving Dean healing Castiel. The ex-angel’s wounds aren’t deep or severe, but as Dean’s, they need to be cleaned. The worst part is on his knuckles, which are still bleeding, so Dean bandages them, being really tender and careful.

“Done,” Dean says smiling and stealing a kiss from Cas. He stands up and he puts back all the medical stuff in its place. “You know,” he begins to say as he keeps saving everything. “You look so good when you’re that badass in a fight.”

Castiel chuckles. “What you are telling me is that while we were killing zombies, all you could think about was that I looked good?”

“I was thinking about killing them too, but I also thought about you looking hot.”

Castiel rolls his eyes but smiles. “You are unbelievable, Dean.”

The hunter laughs and nods. He looks at his shirt and t-shirt and he observes that there’s blood on them and he grunts. “Damn, I hate it when my clothes end up with blood of dead people.” And he also hates having to clean the blood. It’s quite difficult to remove blood from clothes.

Dean takes off his shirt and then his t-shirt and he makes a ball with them and he saves them in his duffle bag. When he turns around, he finds Cas standing in front of him, which startles him a little, but Cas cups his face and starts kissing him passionately, his hands moving up and down Dean’s naked chest, making Dean moan and place his hands on the ex-angel’s blades, fisting his shirt.

When they pull away, their eyes are dark with want and they look at each other. Castiel makes a pretty grin and he leans closer, their lips brushing but not kissing. “You look really good shirtless,” Castiel whispers.

Dean chuckles and he removes the tiny inches in between their mouths and he kisses Castiel, pushing his tongue into his warm mouth, feeling how he shivers and digs his nails in Dean’s skin. Immediately, Cas gets his leg in between Dean’s nudging his crotch in a delicious way that makes him half hard.

“Get everything off already,” Dean murmurs desperate, making Castiel laugh.

But before Castiel starts taking off his clothes, he bites Dean’s jawline, licking it after it. “And you better takes these off,” he murmurs against Dean’s stubble as his hand caresses the front of his jeans, following the hard line of Dean’s hidden, hard cock, squeezing it slightly, making Dean squirm.

Dean pushes him away with a laugh as he starts to unzip his jeans as Castiel begins to take off his shirt and t-shirt. When Dean has taken off his boxers, Castiel is still unzipping his jeans and Dean steps into him and kisses him as he helps him to remove all the clothes that he is still wearing.

“Need a helping hand, Cas?” he asks as he bites Cas’ lobe.

Castiel moans. “I could ask you the same.” He moves one of his hands towards the head of Dean’s cock and he caresses it, which makes Dean moan.

“You fucking teaser,” he says smiling and catching Cas’ bottom lip in between his, taking Cas’ boxers off, leaving him completely naked.

Castiel grips Dean’s hips tightly and pushes him to meet him in a fervent and desperate kiss before his hands move towards his thighs and lifts Dean’s legs, pressing them towards him and Dean can’t help making a surprised moan mixed with a gasp. When Dean looks at him, Cas is smiling like a cocky bastard and it makes Dean grin before he leans to kiss his boyfriend again.

The ex-angel brings them towards the bed, Dean being the one with his back against the mattress. He pulls Castiel into another kiss as his hands map the wonderful curves of his tattooed back, rocking his hips and rubbing their hard cocks together. Dean brings them impossibly closer, wanting to feel Cas in every single tiny cell of his body.

Dean places his hand on Castiel’s hair, tilting his head to one side in order to have room for his mouth and he begins to lick and suck the salty skin of his neck, leaving hickeys. Castiel moans and squirms as his fingers dig in the tender flesh of Dean’s thighs.  
Suddenly, Castiel pulls away and he sucks Dean’s pulse, leaving a bruise and making Dean groan and moan. When he is done, he moves his mouth to the center of his throat, sucking again his skin. Everybody will see it and the thought of it makes Dean’s cock twitch.

Castiel moves his mouth towards Dean’s nipple and he bites it, licks it and kisses it, hardening it with his insistent tongue, leaving Dean gasping and threading his fingers on the dark mess of his lover’s hair. He seizes that grip and uses it to lift Castiel’s hair, trying to be as gentle as possible and they meet in a dirty, passionate kiss as Dean’s hands go to Cas’ nipples and he hardens them with his fingers.

“Dean,” Castiel hisses in a moan before he goes back to kiss him again.

One of Castiel’s hands go to their cocks and he fists both of them, stroking their lengths in that delirious way that leaves both of them moaning and gasping. Dean’s hand joins Cas’, following the rhythm. They press their foreheads together as their hands move together, looking at each other and breathing into each other.

They rock their hips together, fucking into their fists. Dean’s other hand keeps tracing down Cas’ back and when he arrives to his ass, he squeezes it, earning him a surprised moan and a hard thrust from the ex-angel. Dean smirks and Castiel bites his lower lip before he gets his tongue into his mouth. But he pulls away when he has to moan because Dean’s finger is caressing his rim and teasing his hole.

“Fuck, Dean—” Castiel moans desperate.

Dean smiles and catches Cas’ lobe in between his lips, nibbling it in the way Castiel likes it. “Shit, I get all horny when you curse.”

“You get all horny with everything I do,” he whispers into his ear before he licks the skin behind it.

Dean lets out a pleased moan and gets his hand back to Cas’ spine, without stopping the movement of his other hand on their cocks. “Yeah.”

They keep jerking off together and rocking their hips together, fucking into their joined fists. Heat begins to build into Dean’s stomach and it doesn’t take too many strokes to come and paint both of their bellies. Cas comes seconds after him, and neither of them stop moving their fists until their release is completely done.

When they pull away their hands, they hold each other and Castiel nuzzles Dean’s neck before pressing a few more kisses, leaving Dean grinning and giggling. He manages to steal a sweet kiss from Cas’ tender lips and both of them are smiling when they pull away.

Castiel closes his eyes and sighs. Dean presses a kiss on his crown. “Feeling sleepy?” Dean asks murmuring. His hand caresses his tattooed back, in lazy motions.

“It’s been a long night, with a good ending,” Castiel answers with a low voice. “We should rest.”

“Yeah.” He kisses Castiel again and switches off the lights before he closes his eyes.

 

_____

 

Dean doesn’t miss the questioning look some people from the dinner they are going to have breakfast at give to him and Cas, because both of them have their necks covered with hickeys, but Dean chooses to ignore them.

“They could stop staring,” Sam mutters annoyed and irritated. “I thought the south became a little bit more tolerant once gay marriage was approved in the whole USA.” He moves his eyes through the dinner, giving a quick deadly glare to some of them. “If they dare to say something about you two—”

“Just ignore them, Sam,” Dean says as he keeps looking at the menu. There’s a heartwarming feeling at knowing how supportive his brother is. “If they’ve got something to say, they can go and suck my dick.”

“I would appreciate it if you didn’t encourage them to do so,” Castiel says with a serious voice. “I would get very jealous.”

Dean can’t help laughing while Sam covers his eyes, making a disgusted face. “Don’t worry, Cas, you are the only one that I allow to do that.” He squeezes Cas’ thigh in a comforting way and Castiel gives him a warm smile.

“Guys, seriously, it’s too early to picture that kind of things,” Sam says with a grossed out face. Dean is about to say something, but Sam glares him. “Shut up. Don’t say anything more involving that action, Dean.”

Dean shows his hands in an innocent way before he mimics a motion of zipping his mouth. “Fine, I won’t.”

“What were you going to say?” Castiel asks with an arched brow.

Dean leans to his ear and whispers, “That I can’t help it if you like to suck my cock.”

Castiel blushes and rolls his eyes while Dean grins. The ex-angel leans and whispers into Dean’s ear, in order to avoid Sam hearing what he is about to say, “And you like to suck mine too.”

Dean gives him an affirmative look as he smiles widely, enjoying Cas’ smirk. “But for the record, that’s not the only thing I like about you.”

“I know, Dean. I know that you love me for many other things.”

Dean immediately blushes and he sees the way Sam grins. “Yeah, I do. And I know the feeling is returned.”

“You’re such a couple of lovebirds,” Sam says laughing and Dean kicks him under the table, which only makes Sam laugh higher and Dean’s blush get darker.

“Hi!” The waitress says with a lovely smile. “What can I get you, gentlemen?”

“I would like coffee with a fruit salad,” Sam says as he closes the menu.

“I would like the same and a couple of toasts,” Castiel says, doing the same with the menu.

“And I would like—” Dean beings to say, but he remembers that he promised to look out for his health whenever they ate out. He was going to order the special; bacon and sausages accompanied with eggs and pancakes. “The same as he ordered,” he finishes as he points at Castiel.

“All right,” she says with a charming smile, grabbing the menus and leaving their table.

Dean notices the questioning look that comes from his brother and the surprised face his boyfriend is making. Dean sighs. “I promised him I was going to eat healthy whenever we ate out of home, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did,” Sam says, his voice sounding really surprised. He makes a happy pout and nods. “I’m just startled by the fact that you are actually going to keep that promise.”

“I’m a man of my word,” he says shrugging.

“I’m proud of you,” Castiel says as he intertwines their fingers together.

“Yeah, you better, because I gave up grease for you.”

“I gave up an army and Heaven for you and I have died for you a couple of times. So don’t get that melodramatic, honey.”

Sam bursts into laughter and Dean can’t help making an embarrassed smile as he rubs his face. When he looks at Cas, Dean decides to kiss him. He doesn’t give a shit if people glare them. What he feels about Cas isn’t wrong and it’s nothing to be ashamed for. It will never be it.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for updating a couple of hours later than usually, II wasn't able to do it before.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions.
> 
> I will post it betaed once Christina does it :)

“Okay, we’ll see _For a Few Dollars More_ if you stay quiet,” Sam says as he glares at Dean. “Last time we watched it, you were saying the whole dialogue.”

“It’s an awesome movie, Sam!” Dean protests with a pout. “And a classic!” His brother doesn’t have the amazing taste in films he has.

“You wouldn’t say that if Clint Eastwood wasn’t in it,” Castiel says as he sits down, next to Dean, holding the recently made popcorn. “You are in love with that man.”

“Are you jealous?” he asks with a teasing voice. His boyfriend dedicates him a deadly glare. “Oh crap, you are jealous!”

“Yes, I’m jealous of a man who has a couple of movies with an orangutan,” he hisses before he gets some popcorn in his mouth.

“His name is Clyde!” The three of them say. Dean was being serious, but Sam and Cas were mocking him by imitating him. “I hate you two,” Dean says with an annoyed pout.

“Cas, we have to be more compressive with Dean,” Sam begins to say as he walks towards the couch, sitting on the other spot next to Dean. “His crush doesn’t even know he exists.”

Castiel and Sam chuckle and Dean glares them. “Fuck you both.”

Dean startles when Cas’ lips catch his earlobe. “Maybe later, cowboy,” he whispers into his ear, making Dean moan and shiver at that. The way Cas whispered those words, making them sound so sexy and dirty, were really arousing.

“Guys, I’m right here,” Sam says with a nasty grimace, pointing at himself. “You’ve got a bedroom where you two can do whatever you have in mind.”

“Sorry, Sam.” The ex-angel makes an apologizing face and he kisses Dean’s cheek.

“You are such a killjoy, Sammy,” Dean says with a smirk and Sam rolls his eyes.

They watch the movie as they eat popcorn. Dean sometimes says a line once in a while, not caring about the glares his brother and his boyfriend give him, in fact he smirks at them because he knows he is pissing them off. He loves those movies and he has seen them dozens of times that it is so hard not to say some of its best lines.

There’s a moment when Cas rests his head on Dean’s shoulder and presses himself closer to the hunter. Dean places his arm around his shoulders, pulling Cas closer and kissing his forehead. He doesn’t miss the wide grin his little brother does.

Sam has seen them together kissing and holding each other, but he has barely seen them being intimate together. It isn’t that Dean is ashamed of what he and Cas have, he is so fucking proud and happy about it, but he likes to keep some things to themselves, because he is a bit afraid of losing everything if someone else sees them being intimate. It is stupid, Dean knows it; as stupid as not saying the L-word out loud even when he feels that way. But he believes that if he keeps some part of this to themselves, it will be more difficult to lose Cas and what they have.

He is really comfortable with what he and Cas have, and so does Cas. Sam sometimes doesn’t get to see how deep they are into each other; he knows, but he doesn’t see it all the time, that’s why he always grins when Dean is being cuddly with Cas.

When the movie finishes, Sam stretches and Cas nuzzles Dean’s neck. Dean looks at him, wondering when their lives became good enough to have moments like this. He doesn’t care as long as he can have more moments like this one.

“I don’t know about you guys,” Sam starts to say. He stands up from the couch to get the DVD and put it back in its box. “But I’m gonna hit the hay.”

“I think we’re gonna do the same, don’t you think, Cas?” Dean says looking at Cas, who makes an affirmative hum.

“Goodnight, guys.”

“Goodnight, Sam,” Dean and Castiel say at the same time. The taller Winchester leaves the room and then, Dean rubs his face before he stands up. Cas stretches on the couch, making a cute groan that makes Dean smile.

Dean grabs the DVD box and Castiel holds his hand, pulling him towards their bedroom. They walk quite fast, but not too much. Dean knows what Cas is up to and he can’t help the anticipation that starts to build in his body.

The moment they are in their bedroom and the door is closed, Cas grabs the DVD and leaves it on the closest table before he presses Dean against the door and he kisses him eagerly and passionately. He even gets his knee in between Dean’s legs, brushing his crotch in a maddening way. The hunter is moaning in the breathtaking kiss as he fists the back of Castiel’s shirt, rocking his hips slightly.

When they pull away, both of them are panting and blushed. Their irises are a tiny circle around their dilated pupils. Cas leans closer on Dean, as if he was going to kiss him again, but he stops before their lips can brush. He looks at Dean’s eyes, making his heart jump in arousal, all his blood going south.

“Do you want me to ride you, cowboy?” Castiel asks with his sexiest voice. His hands sneak under Dean’s t-shirt, touching his warm skin delicately, sending warmth everywhere.

Dean gasps and swallows with difficulty. He can feel how his cock twitches in his pants as he watches how Cas nibbles his lower lip playfully, without taking his eyes of him. Dean’s mouth is suddenly dry and he can’t let any word out, so he nods effusively and Castiel smirks before he kisses him in a really dirty way.

He is pulled towards their bed while they kiss. Cas falls onto the mattress and fists the front of Dean’s t-shirt, pulling Dean down. All Cas’ limbs are around Dean’s body as they kiss passionately. The ex-angel rolls the two of them without any effort, leaving Dean with his back on the mattress.

“I get all tingly when you take control like this,” Dean says before he fists the front of Cas’ t-shirt to meet him in a dirty kiss.  
Their restless hands start to take off each other’s clothes, without caring where they end up. Every time some skin is revealed, both of them seize the moment and kiss the naked skin. Dean leaves hickeys on Cas’ neck, his collarbone and his chest, making the ex-angel tremble and moan. He even licks and nibbles his nipple and Cas’ fingers run through his light brown hair desperately, letting out wonderful noises.

Cas pulls Dean’s face away, pushing him down onto the mattress. His blue eyes are set on fire. He starts to suck the skin behind Dean’s earlobe and the hunter wails and shakes his hips. Cas keeps leaving hickeys on his neck and chest as his hands play with his nipples. His mouth is soon on one of his nipples, kissing and nibbling it, without taking his eyes off Dean.

When he pulls his mouth away, he kneels, with Dean’s legs in between his and he starts to unbutton Dean’s jeans. His fingers brush his hard cock, still trapped in his underwear. Dean takes off Cas’ jeans and he seizes the moment to squeeze his cock and balls. The ex-angel lets out a moan that sounds like a whimper and his whole body trembles.

“Holy shit, Dean,” Cas hisses.

Dean smirks and he sneaks his hand in his boxers. Reducing Cas to swearing is something he likes way too much. He squeezes the head of Cas’ cock and his boyfriend lets out a wonderful moan, tilts his head back and closes his eyes. “You like this, Cas?” Dean asks with a sexy voice. His thumb caresses the head again before he gives him a slight squeeze.

“Yeah.” He sounds wrecked and it does crazy things to Dean. “Do it again, please.”

Dean complies, earning him another wonderful moan, feeling how Cas digs his nails in his pectorals. “Your pretty cock is so sensitive.” He pulls his boxers a bit downer, freeing part of Cas’ flushed, hard cock. He squeezes him again and Castiel bucks his hips.

Cas’ hand does the same motion on Dean’s cock and the hunter moans and shakes his whole body at the unexpected touch. “Your cock is sensitive too,” he says with a smirk.

“Are we gonna tease or are we gonna fuck?” he snaps teasingly. Cas squeezes the head of his cock again and Dean can’t suppress the loud moan he makes. “Son of a bitch.”

Castiel laughs and it sounds beautiful. He leans to kiss Dean, who takes off Cas’ boxers and then Cas takes his. The ex-angel moves away, kneeling again on the mattress and he starts to look in the drawer for the lube and a condom. He puts the condom on Dean, who looks at him with an arched brow.

“You know I can do that, right?” Dean asks, dedicating him a sassy smile.

“I know,” Castiel answers casually but there’s a mischievous smile appearing on his lips. “But I like touching you.” With one of his hands he spreads the lube on Dean’s hard cock and the hunter moans pleased. He also spreads the lube on one of Dean’s hands. When he is done, he guides that hand to his entrance and Dean gets one finger inside Cas, who moans relieved.

As Dean keeps getting his fingers inside Castiel, one by one, the ex-angel fucks into them with a slow rocking. Dean watches his face as his fingers work inside him, loosening him, feeling his warmth and tightness. Cas looks gorgeous with his lips parted, his cheeks flushed and his eyes half closed.

“Think you’re ready?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Castiel answers.

The hunter pulls his fingers out and Cas leans to press a sweet kiss on his lips. He gets back to his position, pressing his knees against Dean’s waist and resting his hands on his chest. Dean’s hands come to rest on Cas’ hips. He can feel on his cock the soft curve of his boyfriend’s ass.

Cas moves; the moment the head of Dean’s cock is partially inside him, he thrusts down, taking all his cock in one thrust and both of them moan louder than ever and close their eyes.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Cas!” Dean hisses. He moans and he groans. His cock is completely buried in the heat and the tightness of Cas. His nails are digging the tender flesh of Cas’ thighs, turning it white and Cas is panting. “Fuck, Cas, oh— fuck,” he gasps almost deliriously. The ex-angel hasn’t started to ride him yet, but he is clenching around him and it is maddening. “Cas— you good?” He manages to open his eyes and sees that Cas is a mess of pants too.

“Yes,” Cas says nodding.

“You—” But he can’t finish what he was going to say, because Cas starts to ride him and every coherent thought in Dean’s brain is gone. “Fuckity fuck, Cas,” he moans.

Cas rides him with delicious and glorious movements. His thrusts are steady and a bit slow, but really good. Dean can’t stop moaning Cas’ name every time he clenches around him and with every maddening movement of his hips. Whenever Dean’s cock touches that sweet spot inside of Cas, the ex-angel tilts his head back and closes his eyes, letting out Dean’s name in loud moans.

Dean holds him tightly on his hips, helping him with his wonderful movements. Dean is a moaning and whimpering mess. Cas is so tight and warm, but all of that intensifies when Cas squeezes and the hunter can’t help to bend his knees, moving his legs restlessly and swearing, which makes Cas smirk.

“Cas—” Dean moans. “Cas—”

“Dean—”

“Wait,” he says and with his hands he stops Cas’ rocking. The ex-angel frowns confused and Dean makes a soothing smile. He rises until he is sitting on the bed too, with his boyfriend’s chest pressed to his. He presses a sweet kiss on his lips. “Do you think you can ride me like this?”

Castiel makes a beautiful smile before he kisses Dean tenderly. “Yes.” He places his arms around Dean’s neck, pressing himself a little closer and keeps fucking into his cock with those tender but delirious movements.

Both of them try not to close their eyes during the whole time; sometimes they can’t because the pleasure it’s too high that their eyes must close as a moan escapes from their mouths, but they try to stare at each other all the time, watching their expressions, their feelings, their sensations and their faces.

Dean can’t take his eyes of his boyfriend, he is so fucking beautiful. Every time he has to tilt his head up and moan his name, Dean pulls him closer and tries to kiss his mouth. It comes a moment when Cas cups his face and presses their foreheads together. Their eyes are locked and Dean’s hands come to his lover’s back, holding him as Cas never stops moving. They breathe into each other, feeling their bodies being just one.

The speed of Cas’ rocking increases and it is too much for the two of them. Their pants are raggedy, the moans are louder and their hold on each other tightens. Dean’s cock touches Cas’ prostate over and over again and Cas clenches around him again and again.

Dean buries his face in the crook of Cas’ neck and he feels Cas’ hands running desperately on his hair. With his hands, the hunter helps the ex-angel to go faster; their bodies shake, their backs arch, their moans get louder, and it feels as if they were the only ones in the world.

“Dean— Dean— Dean— Dean—” Castiel moans desperate. His hands press Dean impossibly closer as he keeps moving desperately, hard and fast. He locks his thighs hard around Dean, easing the speed of his thrusts.

The hunter comes. A half moan, half cry slips from his lips, making his head tilt up. He holds Cas’ tighter. A few more thrusts and the ex-angel comes too, burying his face in Dean’s shoulder, panting and gasping, as if years passed since the last time he breathed.

Dean holds him closer, he even gets his legs around Cas’ waist. He wishes they could be like this forever; breathing into each other, embracing each other, Dean buried deep in Cas. He wishes he could stop time and stay like this forever. Dean lets out a shaky breath and kisses Cas’ crown. It feels right to be like this; the two of them naked and holding each other. It feels righter than anything.

“I’m exhausted,” Cas mumbles against his skin. Dean chuckles. “But it was really good.” He nuzzles Dean’s jaw before they kiss.

“It was fucking good,” Dean says with a smile. He kisses Cas’ lips again, and then he kisses his nose, his chin, his cheeks, his jaw and his forehead. Cas hums happily with every press of Dean’s lips on him.

Cas kisses his mouth passionately and he pulls away from Dean, who tosses the condom away after knotting it. Cas drops onto the mattress; he is still panting a bit and he is also touching one of his thighs, as if he was trying to massaging it.

“Are you sore?” Dean asks worried.

“It’s just my thighs,” Castiel answers casually, as if it didn’t matter, but he keeps moving his hand on his thigh and Dean pulls it away.

“Let me massage it.”

“Dean, you don’t—” He begins to say, but he stops talking when Dean gets his hands on his thigh and starts to massage it. He can feel his muscles are a bit cramped. The ex-angel lets out a relieved gasp and Dean smiles. “Go ahead; your hands are helping a lot.”

Dean grins. “Sorry you’re sore.”

“Don’t worry. If you keep massaging me like this, I’ll be perfect.” He sounds pleased. “Next time I might even pretend I’m sore so you can do this to me.”

He rolls his eyes and smiles. “You’re a dick.”

Castiel laughs. “But you love me.”

He looks at his eyes and he can’t help the fondly look he gives to the ex-angel. “Yeah, I do.” His words leave Cas grinning widely.

Dean grabs Cas’ other leg and massages it. Cas looks so pleased and relived that it has Dean smiling happily. He likes taking care of the ex-angel and making him feel good. It’s amazing how Dean doesn’t need things to be sexual to make his boyfriend feel good. Years ago, he would have used sex to make the person he was with feel good, because that was the only thing Dean could do. Now, they make feel each other good with simple things, like sitting together with their shoulders pressed. Sex is really good, actually it is fucking awesome, but it isn’t the only fucking awesome thing they do. It’s fucking awesome when they are sitting together, when they are reading together, when they go somewhere together, when they are making breakfast, when they are in the same room…

Sometimes it’s hard to believe how the simple fact of doing something together, not matter what it is, feels right and awesome, because Dean is with Cas.

“Roll on your stomach,” Dean says. “Let me massage the back of your thighs.”

Castiel smiles and he does as he is told. He lies on his stomach, resting his arms under his chin. The view of the back of Cas’ body is beautiful. Dean really adores seeing this part of Cas’ body; in fact, he adores seeing any part of him. He smiles and massages the back of his right thigh.

The ex-angel hums happily and closes his eyes as a pretty smile makes its way into his lips. “Are you gonna fall asleep, Cas?” Dean wonders with a smirk.

“No,” Cas says with a soft voice. “I’m enjoying this too much; there’s no way I’m going to fall asleep and miss this.” He dedicates Dean a tender look. “You are really good at this.”

“Babe, I’m really good at anything that involves touching you.” He smirks and Cas shakes his other leg, trying to kick him. “Don’t be such a child.”

Cas rolls his eyes and shakes his head, exhaling sharply. “You are unbelievable.”

“Yeah,” he murmurs. He starts to massage Cas’ left thigh. Cas makes a moan and Dean arches a brow. “You’re really enjoying this, huh?”

“I am.”

He chuckles. There’s a small silence before Dean speaks up again, “I’m sorry you got hurt.”

“Don’t feel sorry, Dean.” His voice is soft and sweet, almost melodic. “It’s only soreness. Compared with the awesome sex we had, it doesn’t matter.”

He finishes massaging Cas’ thigh and he leans onto Cas’ back. He reaches his mouth and they kiss. “Feeling better now?” he asks in a whisper, letting himself get lost in the sea of Cas’ eyes one more time.

“Much better.”

Dean smiles and kisses his boyfriend again. It’s lazy but sweet. When they pull away, Dean starts to caress his tattooed back, watching the movement of his hand. It doesn’t take him too long to move and start tracing down Cas’ back with his mouth, kissing his spine as his hands map the sides of his body.

Castiel hums contently. “You really like my back, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Dean says in between kisses. His mouth follows the curve of his spine until he ends up where Cas’ ass begins. He goes up, kissing the same path, only in reverse, praising his back, giving all the care and attention it deserves. When he reaches the space in between Cas’ blades, he presses a lot of kisses, moving his head with enthusiasm, and Castiel giggles. “What?” he asks confused.

“The feather tickles me,” he answers in between giggles.

Dean looks at the black feather hanging around his neck and grins. “Oh yeah?” He starts to move his head so the feather can touch his lover’s back, tickling him. It earns him the sweetest and best sounds of happiness. He loves when Cas giggles, laughs and smiles. He looks beautiful and he sounds really happy that it warms Dean’s heart.

“Dean!” he exclaims giggling.

The hunter laughs as he keeps tickling him with the feather. It goes like that for a while until Dean stops and presses a lingering kiss on the space in between Cas’ blades. He rolls, lying aside next to Cas. His knuckles stroke the tattooed back, staring at the inked wings as Cas looks at his face.

“Do you miss it?” Dean asks with a soft voice. He looks at Cas’ intrigued face. “Being an angel?” It is a question that has been in the back of his mind for a while, but he has never let it out until now.

“Sometimes,” he admits sighing. The hunter stares into his too damn blue eyes without stopping caressing Cas’ back. “I miss being able to heal you.” His eyes go to the almost faded scar that goes from Dean’s thigh to his hip.

“Cas, stop blaming yourself.”

“I’m not blaming myself, Dean.” His eyes find Dean’s and it feels as if he wanted to stare into Dean’s soul. “I only wish that I still had that ability. It would have saved you from a lot of suffering.” He pouts sadly and looks down. “I remember when all I had to do was to touch you and heal you completely. All your wounds and all your pain were gone with that.” He takes a deep breath and smiles nostalgically. Dean doesn’t say a word; all he does is to keep stroking Cas’ back soothingly.

“I also miss being able to zap to places where humans can’t go,” Cas keeps saying with a pretty smile. His eyes meet Dean’s, and they are full of emotion. “You don’t have any idea about all the places I have visited, all the places I have seen, places humans haven’t had the chance to see yet.” He sounds touched, even if there’s nostalgia in his words. “I would have zapped you to all those places,” he adds with a bright smile.

“You’re a romantic sap, Cas,” Dean says chuckling.

“So I’ve been told.” He smiles and bites his lower lip. “I’ve been in beautiful beaches where the only sound came from the sea. I’ve been in mountains covered with snow, where only birds could be. I’ve been in woods that could be from fairy tales. I’ve been in hidden lakes surrounded by the most colorful and beautiful trees.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying to picture all those places. “I wish I could get the chance to see all those wonders again.” Dean feels sad about all the things that Cas has lost because he fell. “And I miss my wings,” he says opening his eyes and making a grimace, taking a quick look to his inked wings. “I miss them a lot.” He takes a deep breath again, returning to look at Dean. “But I think I don’t miss anything else about being an angel.”

“You don’t?”

Castiel shakes his head. “Well, I don’t like having to drink two mugs of coffee every morning to be properly awake and I hate getting sick.” That makes Dean chuckle. Cas doesn’t like mornings and when he gets sick, he is worse than a kid; he is all grumpy, although he is a bit cute. “But apart from that, I don’t think I miss anything about being an angel.”

Dean nods. “It’s good, but I’m sorry you lost some awesome things about it.”

Cas shrugs casually. “Well, I knew that I was going to lose some of the perks of being an angel when I decided to fall.”

“Wait, what?” His hand stops moving and he looks startled at Cas. He has said that he decided to fall; has Dean heard right? It can’t be possible. Cas looks at him with a frown as Dean moves his jaw, trying to say something. He blinks perplexed a couple of times before his brain finally decides to connect itself with his mouth. “What do you mean with you decided to fall?”

“That I choose falling instead of being locked up in Heaven.”

“What? But how—? Why?”

Castiel sighs and rolls, lying aside too, facing Dean. His hand finds one of Dean’s and he intertwines their fingers. “You do remember when I told you about angles planning on closing the gates of Heaven just in case Amara decided to get in there if she ever was released on Earth again, right?” he asks softly. Dean nods. He remembers it; he remembers how scared he was of never seeing Cas again if those doors were finally closed. He didn’t tell Cas, but every time they saw, Dean was scared that was going to be the last time they saw each other. “I told you that the doors were going to be partially closed because souls weren’t going to have any problem at all to get in Heaven, but angels weren’t going to be able to stay in earth unless it was completely necessary, like a catastrophe or apocalypse or something like that.”

“Yeah,” Dean says.

“When I found out what partially closing the gates of Heaven meant, I—” he takes a deep breath and he looks at their joined hands. “I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to see you again.” Dean’s heart sinks with that. “And I didn’t want that.” He looks at Dean’s eyes. They are glassy and honest. “You and Sam had been more than a family than any of those angels in Heaven. I didn’t want to give up any of you, and much less the human I fell in love with.”

“Cas—”

Castiel makes a sympathetic smile. “So when Heaven’s gates closed, I felt how something tried to pull me, but I refused, so I fell. It was painful and bloody, but I didn’t care.” His smile turns wider and prettier. “I became human, which meant being with you, seeing you, living with you.” His hand squeezes Dean’s while his other one cups Dean’s face and the hunter leans into his touch. “I fell because of you, Dean.”

“Holy shit, Cas, I—” He sighs, not knowing what to say. He didn’t know that Cas decided to fell, that it was because of him. “But back then, we weren’t together, I mean we didn’t know what we felt about each other, how did you—”

“Dean,” he says with a tender voice. “We could have never acknowledged our feelings and I would have decided to fall just to stay with you. You know that everything I have ever done since I met you has been because of you. I didn’t want to be locked up in Heaven and never seeing you again. I gave up being an angel because I couldn’t live without you.” He closes his eyes and presses his forehead against Dean’s. The hunter’s heart is beating faster than ever. He is startled by this revealed fact. “I’ve given up armies for you, I’ve given up my life for you, I’ve given up my wings for you,” he says and he opens his eyes. His words are strong and full of emotion. Dean finds himself sinking in the sea Cas’ eyes are made of as more words come out. “I would give up everything for you, Dean.”

“Fuck, Cas—” His voice comes out breathy and he feels his eyes getting glassy. “Holy fuck, I— shit—” He takes a deep breath. He wants to say so many different things, but he doesn’t know where he can start. “I— wow. I didn’t know it.”

Castiel shrugs and smiles. “I didn’t tell you before. I could have, but— we didn’t know about each other’s feelings and I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable about it.” There’s a small pause that they spent looking at each other. “Being an angel and not being able to see you ever again or becoming human and seeing you. It wasn’t a hard choice.”

“You really L-word me,” Dean says with a wide smile.

“I really L-word you,” he says mirroring that smile.

Dean sighs. “Has it been a good choice?” It is a whisper, but it is audible in the quietness of their bedroom.

“The best choice I’ve ever done.”

Dean grins and he kisses Cas, trying to say with a kiss all those words that are stuck in his throat. “You’re a cheesy, sappy guy.”

“You asked,” he says laughing. It is so bright that it echoes inside Dean and he has to kiss him to feel that happiness. When they pull away, Cas’ hand goes to the feather that hangs around Dean’s neck. “I miss some things about it, but I’ve never been happier in my life.” He dedicates Dean a beautiful smile.

Dean kisses him. He cups his face and gives his boyfriend the loveliest and most passionate kiss he has ever given him. When they pull away, both of them are breathless. “Neither have I.”

It earns him another wonderful kiss from Cas.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> And a big thank you to Christina for being my beta *-*

Dean adores rain, he always has. He likes to walk under the rain, feeling the raindrops drench him and the earthy smell that rain always carries with it. He likes driving his Impala in the rain, hearing the sound every drop makes against his baby like music, drumming out of time with his own. He likes seeing rain on a window, observing how the raindrops trace down the window, hoping that the one he chose is the one that will arrive at the end first.

But he hates hunting under the rain. He truly hates it. Especially if there’s mud involved and you have to fight a monster; in this case, Dean is fighting with his brother and his boyfriend a quartet of ghouls in the outskirts of North Augusta, South Carolina.  
The rain is heavy and thick and it makes it hard to see. It turns the ground into a mixture of grass, mud, and water, making it easy to slip and fall down. These are the hunts that Dean doesn’t like. Monsters are already a bit hard to kill; he doesn’t need the force of nature against him, hindering him.

At least he can follow the sounds the ghouls are making and he manages to kill two with his machete, beheading both of them. He looks around, trying to see Sam and Cas, but the rain makes it really difficult. He hears the sound of a decapitation and the sound of a body falling onto the floor.

Suddenly, somebody is grabbing his hand and Dean looks around, ready to hack at that somebody's neck, but his hand relaxes when he spots the unmistakable blue eyes of Castiel. Even in the rain, those eyes can be spotted without any effort.

“Hey, are you hurt?” Castiel asks, giving Dean’s hand a soothing squeeze. He cups Dean’s face, taking a careful look, looking for any wounds.

“No, I’m not. You?” Dean says, looking at Cas, who shakes his head. “Where’s Sam?”

“Here,” Sam says, appearing in front of him. “Are you guys okay?”

“Yeah,” Dean says sighing. His body is slightly sore from a couple of falls, but that’s nothing important. “You?” His brother nods too. “Did you guys kill the other two?”

“I killed one,” Castiel says.

“I killed the other,” Sam affirms. “I guess that’s all.” He turns around, taking a look around, or trying to. His clothes are completely darkened by the rain, like Dean’s and Castiel’s, and his hair is soaked and flat, making it look longer than it is. “We should get back to the motel. We’re gonna catch a cold if we stay out here.”

“Yeah,” Dean says with a grimace. He slides his fingers onto Castiel’s palm, until he laces their fingers together. “C’mon.”

The ground is still slippery, so they walk instead of running. They are completely drenched, so running towards the Impala won’t change anything. The last thing they need is to slip and break a bone.

When they get into the Impala and Dean starts the engine, he turns on the heat, making the three of them let out a happy, relieved sigh. Their clothes are cold and the heat doesn’t do much, but the warm temperature is a small blessing.

The windshield wipers are on their higher speed, and yet, it is hard to see with all that rain. It’s quite dangerous to drive tonight in these conditions and Dean has to be very careful. But he is dying to get into the motel room and get warm and take a warm shower. The problem is that the three of them are sharing the same room and although Dean and Cas can, and are going to, take a shower together, Sam has to use the same shower, which means Sam will have to wait for his turn or Dean and Castiel will have to wait.

Once Dean parks the Impala outside, the three of them run towards their room. Cas is quick at opening the door with the key and the three of them welcome being under a roof with no water or wind and with a nice temperature.

“Rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets first in the shower?” Sam asks, already fisting his right hand.

It is the best way to decide who goes first. Dean nods and fists his hand too, approaching his brother, both of them making a serious face. Unluckily, Dean loses. “Damn it,” Dean says, looking at his brother with frustration, because Sam knew that Dean was going to go with scissors.

Sam grins. “Always with the scissors, Dean.”

Dean glares him and Sam closes the bathroom door. “Lucky bastard,” he mutters and shakes his head. When he turns, he finds Castiel standing in the middle of the room, with his arms pressed against his chest and shivering. “Shit, you’re shivering.”

“It’s fine,” Castiel says, his teeth chattering.

“No, it’s not.” He approaches Cas, feeling him really cold. Dean is cold too, but not as much as Castiel. “Jesus, you’re fucking freezing.” He grabs Cas’ arms and pulls them away, taking his shirt off and then his t-shirt. Dean does the same with his and he removes the bedcover from one of the beds and he wraps them around their naked chests. “Try to hold it, okay?” He looks at Castiel, who nods and Dean begins to move his hands on Castiel’s torso, warming him up. “It’s not much but—”

“It’s good,” Castiel interrupts with a lovely smile. “It reminds me of when we went ice-skating and the ice broke and you fell into the freezing water.”

Dean chuckles. “Yeah, you warmed me up really good.” He keeps moving his hands on Cas, feeling how his temperature rises slightly. “I remember that we were almost naked and we were pressed and fuck, I tried so hard not to think about that and try to be cool, to stay calm, but you were touching me almost everywhere and I fought against everything to remain still. And you were so fucking calm.”

Castiel makes a pretty, soft laugh. “I wasn’t calm. You were under me and I was touching you. I was very aware of every part of us touching and I tried my best to show you that I wasn’t enjoying that moment and trying so hard not to blush.”

“Yeah,” he says chuckling. “I jerked off in the shower after that,” he confesses making a guilty face. Castiel arches a brow. “Don’t blame me, you were the one who decided to get all touchy and naked.” He feels Cas’ skin a little bit warmer, but Cas still shivers slightly. Before Castiel can say anything, the bathroom door opens, revealing Sam. “You didn’t leave us without hot water, right?” he asks with a warning glare.

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of hot water for you two,” Sam says.

Dean unwraps the bedcover from them and he and Castiel walk towards the bathroom. They take off their clothes quickly and they get under the spray really fast, satisfied with how quickly the hot water drenches their cold, wet skin. Dean continues caressing Cas, still trying to warm him up. His skin has recovered his temperature, but Dean doesn’t want him to get cold again.  
They finish their shower before the water runs cold and they get dressed in there. When they step out of the bathroom, Castiel sneezes and Dean looks at him with concern. Castiel sneezes a second time.

“Don’t tell me you got a cold,” Dean says, looking at him.

“It’s just a couple of sneezes,” Castiel says careless, walking towards the queen size bed they are going to share. Thankfully, Sam put the bedcover onto the bed the way it was before.

“Okay.” He walks towards the bed, getting in it with Cas, who little spoons him, placing his hands on Dean’s tummy and nuzzling his nape. Dean immediately smiles and rests his hands onto the fallen angel’s before he turns off the lights. Sam is already snoring and sleeping. He falls asleep really easily after a successful hunt. “Goodnight, Cas.”

“Goodnight, Dean.”

 

_____

 

It turns out that Castiel got a cold. This is his second cold and he is so annoyed by it. But the previous one wasn’t as bad as this one. He was sick, but all he needed was some pills and sleep a little. This time, it is going to take him longer to get better. And he didn’t get most of the symptoms he has now. He is experiencing the fever, the headache, the tiredness, the mucus and the muscle ache, and he really hates all of that.

The way back home was hard for him, but thankfully, Dean always carries paracetamol with him, and that seemed to help Cas a little. Still, it has been two days since they came back home and Cas is still sick.

Dean wakes up and rubs his eyes before turning his head to look at Cas, still sleeping. Dean has grown with a little brother that once in a while caught a cold and he had to share his bed with him. It was nasty and gross, but he had to get used to it. He likes sleeping with Cas, and it might not be the best thing to sleep with him while he is sick, but Dean has found out that he doesn’t mind. Besides, he can’t sleep without the ex-angel next to him.

Cas’ cheeks and nose are red and his forehead is covered with sweat, making some locks of his wild hair stick to it. He finds it hard to fall asleep because he can’t breathe properly.

Dean places his palm on his sweaty forehead to check his temperature, feeling that he still has fever, but a little less than yesterday. His touch makes Castiel open his eyes and look at Dean with sore, glassy eyes.

“Hey,” Dean murmurs sweetly, caressing his damp hair. “Rough night again?”

“Yes,” Castiel says with a hoarse voice. He sighs and closes his eyes. “I hate being sick.”

“Everyone hates it.” Dean chuckles. Cas is grumpy and cute when he is sick and he likes it. “Do you want me to make breakfast and bring it to bed?” he asks as he caresses Cas’ cheek. Castiel nods. “Okay.” He kisses his forehead and Castiel makes a tiny, thankful smile. “I’ll be right back, babe.”

He gets out of bed and puts on his slippers. He takes a quick look at Cas before he leaves the bedroom and he smiles. He knows that Cas will get better in a couple of days or so. This isn’t the first time Dean has to take care of someone with a cold.

Dean begins to make breakfast. He will make pancakes and he will bring Cas some pineapple juice. He isn’t going to bring him coffee because he knows Cas is going to try to fall asleep again and he needs sleeping. The pancakes will be good for his stomach and the juice will give him all of the minerals and sugars he needs.

“G’morning,” Sam says yawning, stepping into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Dean says as he flips one pancake.

“Cas is still sleeping?” He walks towards the coffee machine and starts it. Dean misses Cas’ coffee. Their coffee isn’t bad, but Cas has developed a secret talent when it comes to making coffee. He always knows how to make it perfect.

“Trying to,” Dean says sighing. “He’s getting better, but slowly. I’m gonna bring him breakfast and I hope he will get some proper sleep after it. I’ll have to wet a towel and put it on his forehead so he doesn’t get too hot.” He sighs again, and when he looks at his brother, Sam is smiling happily. “What?”

“Nothing, I just forgot what a good doctor you are.”

Dean smirks. “See? Watching _Doctor Sexy_ teaches me things.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” He puts the pancake on the plate where some other pancakes are and he puts more batter on the pan. “Do me a favor and grab the tray and put my coffee, that glass with juice, forks and knives for me and Cas and a plate.”

Sam starts doing what Dean told him and by the time he is done, Dean is putting the last pancake on the pile of them. He gets a few of them for him and Cas, placing them on the plate Sam put on the tray and leaving the rest for Sam.

“Here,” Sam says handing him some napkins.

“Thanks, Sammy,” Dean says smiling.

He walks towards their bedroom, carrying the tray. When he opens the door, Cas opens his eyes and sits up on the bed, rubbing his eyes and making a tiny, pretty smile.

“Smells good, huh?” Dean says, happily.

“I can’t smell a single thing, Dean.”

Dean forgot about that. He sits next to Cas, placing the tray in between their legs. “Want anything else?”

“No, it’s okay, Dean.” He makes a lovely smile.

They have breakfast together. Dean finishes first. Cas takes his time. It seems that even eating is quite tiring for him, but Dean observes that he eats with a slight more enthusiasm than the previous days.

“Here,” Dean says handing him a paracetamol before Cas takes the last sip of his juice. Castiel nods and takes the pill with the juice. “You should try and get some rest, okay?” He caresses Castiel’s arm and he presses a kiss on his temple. “Should I bring more Vick's vaporub?”

“No. I think I’m fine. But can you bring me some water?”

“Sure, babe. And a wet towel.”

“Thank you.”

Dean smiles and he grabs the tray before he gets up. He leaves the tray on the kitchen and brings Cas water and the wet towel. The ex-angel sighs happily when Dean puts the towel on his forehead and Dean presses a brief kiss to his lips.

Again, before he leaves the bedroom, he looks at Cas and smiles.

 

_____

 

The next day Cas is a little better, but the fever is still hard on him. His mucus has reduced, which means less trouble at falling sleep, but he still lingers in bed in the morning. Again, Dean made him breakfast, brought it to their bedroom and let Cas sleep after it.

That’s why he is surprised to find Cas in the living room later on that morning, sitting on the couch, watching a documentary about penguins and wearing his robe.

“Hey,” Dean says surprised, walking towards him. He places his hand on his nape and caresses it. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“I was tired of being in bed,” Cas says grumpily. Dean still finds it too cute. “I tried to change the sheets, because they are damp, but I felt dizzy and—”

“You seriously tried to change the sheets while being sick?” he asks frustrated. Cas nods. “Goddammit, Cas, what are you? A masochist?” He makes an irritated sigh and Cas gives him a confused, squinty look. “You could’ve told me to change them.”

“I am already giving you too much trouble, I don’t want to give you more.” He pouts and looks down.

Dean sighs and kneels in front of him, meeting his eyes. “Listen to me,” he begins to say. He places his hands above Castiel’s. “I know what it feels like to be sick. Stop worrying about giving me too much trouble, because you aren’t. If you need anything or want anything, you just tell me, okay?” He gives Cas an inquiring look and Castiel nods. “Good. Just think about how you would act if I was the sick one and you were the one taking care of me. You would be doing the same I’m doing, right?”

Castiel smiles, prettily. “Right.”

“You aren’t troubling me, Cas. You never do.” He stands up and presses a lingering kiss on Cas’ forehead, feeling that his temperature has dropped down slightly. “I’m gonna change the sheets and then I’m gonna make lunch. How does some homemade rice tomato soup with crackers sound to you?”

“It sounds wonderful, Dean.”

“Do you need anything else?” he asks giving Cas a knowing look. Castiel bites his lower lip. “What is it? I know you want something.”

“Do you think that Sam could take a look at the greenhouse and check on the plants for me?” he asks shyly.

“I’m sure he could. I’m gonna tell him to come here and you talk to him, okay?”

“Okay,” he says sweetly. Dean makes a smile and begins to walk out of the living room, but before he leaves it, Castiel says, “Dean.” The hunter turns and he looks at Cas. “Thanks for taking care of me.”

“You don’t have to thank me for that, Cas.” He doesn’t. Dean likes taking care of Cas. His ex-angel deserves to be taken care of and Dean does his best. He will always take care of him, as he knows that Cas will take care of him.

Castiel smiles. “I love you.”

Dean chuckles, feeling some blush appearing on his cheeks. “I L-word you too, Cas.”

 

_____

 

After lunch, Dean suggests that he and Cas have a _Star Trek_ ’s marathon. They are going to watch the movies on Dean’s laptop, on their bed. Dean uses a tray to place the laptop in order to be more comfortable and not feel the warmth of the battery on his legs after a while. Cas places his head on Dean’s chest, something that makes the green eyed man smile.

“Does it bother you?” Castiel asks in a low voice.

“Not at all,” Dean answers, running his fingers through Cas’ messy hair. He likes the way it smells after he showers. The ex-angel decided to take a shower before lunch to feel cleaner. He has found out that being sick also makes you feel dirty and sweaty and he doesn’t like it at all. “You ready, Spock?”

Castiel frowns and gives Dean a confused stare. “Why are you calling me Spock?”

“Because you kinda remind me of 'im.” He shrugs casually and Castiel’s confusion intensifies. “You both are awkward, cute and don’t get some references. And he is from another planet, too.”

“I’m not from another planet, Dean. I’m from Heaven.”

“Heaven, Vulcan, who cares? Besides, angels are dicks, and Vulcans, too. Except you and Spock.”

Castiel rolls his eyes, but he smiles. “Just press play, captain Kirk.”

Dean smirks and presses play. “Y’know, if we celebrate Halloween this year, we should dress up as Spock and Kirk.”

“Knowing the true meaning of Halloween, you still want to partake in it?”

“There’s candy.”

Castiel chuckles. “You are unbelievable, Dean.”

“That’s what makes me special.”

“True. That’s one of the many things that make you special,” he says, caressing Dean’s chest.

They watch the movie in a really comfortable silence. Before it ends, Cas falls asleep; judging by his sounds, he is soundly sleeping, which makes Dean really happy. He lowers the volume, not wanting to wake up Cas and he keeps watching the next movie as he holds Cas close to him, feeling his soft breathing caressing his t-shirt.

By the middle of the second movie, Sam appears, grinning widely at the picture of Dean and Cas, and Dean rolls his eyes, trying to suppress a smile. His brother walks towards the bed, trying to be quiet.

“I’m gonna go to the supermarket,” Sam begins to say, whispering, not wanting to wake up Cas. “We need some stuff. Do you need anything?”

“Bring some crackers for Cas, and I’m not sure how much tea he has left, so check it out,” Dean whispers. Sam nods, but before he leaves the bedroom, he grabs his phone and he decides to take a picture of the couple. “Sam,” Dean mutters, trying to sound angry but not loud.

“You aren’t gonna do anything to me because you don’t want to wake him up,” he whispers cockily before leaving the bedroom.

Dean makes a silent grunt and wonders how they are even related. But his anger disappears when he looks at Cas, still sleeping and fisting his t-shirt. He smiles and kisses the top of his head.

 

_____

 

When Dean wakes up the next morning, it’s because his bed feels colder than usual. He opens his eyes and he finds that Cas isn’t there with him. He takes a look at the clock and he sees that it is 9:13 a.m. Cas never leaves bed without Dean. Maybe he was feeling bad and he had to go to the bathroom.

Dean is expecting a lot of things, but he isn’t expecting to see Cas coming into the bedroom with a tray and bringing breakfast. He looks at Cas with an arched brow and Castiel smiles.

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel says. He uses his foot to close the door and he walks towards their bed.

Dean props on his elbows so he can sit on their bed. “Good morning, Cas,” he says, still confused. “What are you doing already awake? And did you make breakfast?”

Castiel smiles and he sits next to Dean. He kisses his cheek after placing the tray in between their legs. “I’m feeling better, I still have a bit of a fever, but that’s all.” he says. Dean places his palm on Cas’ forehead and checks his temperature. It is a bit higher than what it should be, but it is a normal temperature. “Since I woke up earlier than you, I decided to get up and make you breakfast as a way of thanking you for taking care of me while i was sick.”

“I told you that you don’t have to thank me for anything,” he says giving him an obvious look. “But if you wanted to thank me, you could have just blew me.” He arches his eyebrows and shoots Cas a mischievous smile.

Castiel rolls his eyes. “Anyway, I only made coffee, a few toasts and a fruit salad. Things that don’t need to be cooked on a stove. But I still wanted to thank you for your wonderful care.” He makes a guilty grimace and scratches the back of his neck. “I’m afraid that if you want pancakes, waffles or bacon, you will have to get up later and make them.”

Dean laughs. “Nah, for now it’s perfect, Cas.” He leans onto him and gives him a sweet kiss. He missed giving Cas proper kisses. “But if you want anything of that, I can make it later. For now I’m happy that you didn’t burn the toast.”

“I know how to use a toaster.”

“You said the same about the microwave and you put a spoon in it.”

Castiel glares him. “I didn’t have coffee that morning and I was still asleep.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” he says before taking a sip of coffee. He makes a happy sound after filling the dark liquid going down his throat. “Fuck, I missed your coffee too much.” It makes Castiel blush and Dean has the need to kiss him, making Cas moan. “I also missed this,” he adds when he pulls away.

“You might get sick.”

“I doubt it, but it’s a risk worth taking.” He leans again and he kisses Cas needy, tangling his fingers in his hair and Cas does the same with Dean’s. They keep kissing until both of their stomachs grumble, and both of them pull away, chuckling.

They start having breakfast. Everything tastes really good and Dean lets Cas know it, which makes the ex-angel blush and smile. Dean can’t help the happiness he feels. Cas made him breakfast and brought it to bed. It might not be an awesome breakfast, but it is for Dean.

When they finish it, Dean steals a sweet kiss from Cas, who hums happily and ends up smiling afterwards. “Thanks for the breakfast, Cas,” Dean says happily before stealing him another kiss.

Cas giggles. “You are welcome.”

“So,” he begins to say, before kissing Cas, this time for longer, his tongue playing with his tender lips. “Do you wanna linger in bed a little bit?”

“Not really, I’ve been in bed all these days and I really need to get out of it,” he answers grumpily. Dean looks at him with an incredulous look and he bursts into laughter. “What’s so funny?” He tilts his head and narrows his eyes, unable to find what his lover finds so hilarious.

“You want to get out of bed? Seriously?” he asks laughing. Castiel nods, seriously. “Castiel, the freaking ex-angel of the lord who is always dragging me into bed because he doesn’t like to abandon bed, now wants to?” He laughs again and it only makes Cas more confused. “That’s something I never thought I’d hear you saying, that you want to leave bed.” He sighs, his laughter fading away slowly. “Who are you and what have you done to my Cas?”

“I have barely left this bed in days, I really have the urge to move and do stuff, I don’t know what’s so funny or weird in—” He can’t finish his sentence because Dean cups his face and kisses him passionately. When they pull away, Cas blinks perplexed.

“You dork,” Dean says grinning. “It’s just that it’s unusual for you to want to get out of bed.” Cas is about to say something, but Dean keeps talking. “Do you want me to make bacon? It’s still early, so I can make it and then we can do whatever you want.” He caresses Cas’ cheekbones, appreciating the stubble that has grown during these days he was sick.

“Great,” he says smiling. He leans and he kisses Dean tenderly. After it, he stands up, carrying the tray in his hands. “I really need to move.”

“Watch out,” Dean warms as he gets up from bed. “Just ‘cause you feel better, doesn’t mean your batteries are fully charged.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “I said that I need to move, not that I’m going to run a marathon,” he sasses with a grimace.

“If you are already sassing me, you’re really feeling better.”

Castiel smirks and Dean smiles. They leave their bedroom, walking next to each other, Dean resting his hand on the small of Castiel’s back.

It’s great to have his ex-angel feeling good again.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions ^^
> 
> Christina couldn't beta this chapter, but once she does it, I'll re-upload it.

Castiel hums to himself a familiar song he has heard on Dean’s Impala as he waters some of the plants in the greenhouse. Most of those plants have already flowered, giving the greenhouse a colorful view. Blue, red, yellow, pink, purple and white are the colors that predominate, along with the different shades of green from the leaves, and it is truly beautiful.

He has to use his left hand for the sprinkler; two days ago they were on a hunt that led them to a werewolf pack and things didn’t go easy. Castiel hurt his wrist, he didn’t break a bone, but he still feels a piercing on it whenever he has to hold something. Dean said that in a couple of days the soft pain will disappear; nevertheless, he is wearing a few bands as a bracer. He also got a few scratches on his cheeks, but nothing too deep or important.

Sam and Dean were injured too. Sam was scratched on his right shoulder and some other parts, but the deeper ones were on his shoulder. Thankfully, Dean and Cas could heal him. Dean also got scratches, but nothing too important. He hurt his shoulder when a werewolf pounced over him and he ended up on the floor. Despite of all those accidents, they managed to kill all those ten werewolves. Although the Impala got its damage too.

When a werewolf got shot in the heart, he fell on the Impala and he dented the hood and he damaged a few things. Dean got really angry. The damages weren’t too important and they managed to get back home, but the Impala needed to be fixed; now Dean is in the garage fixing his baby.

Castiel finishes watering the last plant and he leaves the sprinkler in its place before walking towards the sink to wash his hands. The chill water removes the dirt from his hands, dying the water in brown. He shakes his hands when he is done and he dries them with some paper towels, trashing them away after being used.

He walks away from the greenhouse, taking a quick look at it before he leaves, admiring the beauty of it, making him smile. He is proud of knowing that he managed to make all those plants grow and he is even happier knowing that Sam and Dean helped him a little with it. The greenhouse was almost empty when Castiel started working on it, and every time he looks at how far he has come with it, he feels proud of himself.

His stomach grumbles and he decides to go to the kitchen and grab something to eat. For that, he needs to pass by the library, finding Sam in there, immersed in the book he is reading. He hears Cas’ footsteps and he lifts his eyes from the book, smiling at Cas.

“How are you feeling today, Sam?” Castiel asks, returning the younger Winchester’s smile.

“Better,” Sam says, stroking his wounded shoulder. “It still smarts, but I’m good. This hasn’t been my worst wound,” he adds chuckling. “How ‘bout your wrist?”

“Healing slowly.” He looks down at his injure and shrugs. That’s another thing he misses of being an angel; healing fast. “I’m going to the kitchen, do you need anything?”

“I’m fine, Cas, thanks.” Again, he smiles, this time it’s a thankful one.

“Is Dean still in the garage?”

“Yeah, I think so. You know him, he won’t stop until his baby’s perfect.” He rolls his eyes but chuckles. Castiel chuckles too, because he knows that Sam is right.

He walks towards the kitchen and he opens the fridge and the cupboards, wondering what he can eat. They’ve been busy with hunts and Dean hasn’t been able to bake anything. When there isn’t any hunt, Dean likes to bake. It doesn’t matter what he bakes; pies, cookies, sponge cakes, muffins or whatever he feels like doing, everything is delicious. It isn’t a surprise that the three of them eat any of those pastries in less than two days.

Castiel makes up his mind and he decides to make himself a vegetable sandwich. He also makes sure to write on the whiteboard the word ‘tomatoes’ so they won’t forget about them the next time they go to the supermarket. There are a few other items wrote down on it, which means they will have to go to the supermarket quite soon.

As he eats his sandwich, he looks at the fridge door; next to the whiteboard there are some magnets that hold some photos. There’s one of Dean and Sam, holding each other by their shoulders and grinning. Next to it, there’s one of the Winchester brothers and Castiel, sitting together in the couch; Charlie took that one. Under it, there’s one of Castiel and Charlie talking about something the ex-angel can’t remember, but he knows that Dean was the one who took that photo. There is another photo of Charlie with them that belongs to Christmas, one of Castiel and Sam laughing because of something Dean said, another one of Dean hugging Charlie. There’s also one of Claire with Sam, Dean and Castiel. And finally, there are two photos of Dean and Castiel. One of those consists on the two of them on the couch, Castiel resting his head on Dean’s shoulder while Dean runs his hands on his hair. The other one is one of Castiel’s favorites; it shows Dean kissing his cheek and cupping Cas’ cheek in order to approach him and Castiel appears grinning and a bit blushed.

Castiel smiles at those photos, loving all of them and the people that appear in those photos. They are his family and they are home. He is so glad to know that there are people who love him and there’s a place he can call his home. Castiel has spent millions of years thinking that angels were his family and that Heaven was his home, but he always had that feeling of loneliness, of not belonging to that place. It is true that getting to where he is, calling the bunker home and the Winchester brothers, Charlie and Claire his family has been a long road, but after so many years, he has found his real home and his real family.

He finishes his sandwich and he decides to go to the garage and see how Dean is doing with his car, but before heading towards the garage, he opens the fridge and grabs a cold beer for Dean, knowing that he will thank it.

He walks the path that leads to the garage. The closer he gets, the better he can hear the music. It isn’t too loud, but the garage echoes it and the door it’s open, so the music can be heard perfectly. And Dean’s voice too.

“ _Craze, baby, the rainbow’s end, baby, it’s just a den,_ ” Dean sings with a beautiful voice. When Castiel sees him, Dean is showing his back to him. He is leaning on the motor, which gives Castiel a perfect view of his ass. Dean has a pretty ass, and he is wearing those black jeans that are a bit tight, which makes it even prettier. “ _For those who hide, who hide their love to depths of life, and ruing dreams that we all knew so, babe,_ ” Dean keeps singing. He turns around to grab something and he sees Castiel, jumping startled by his presence, which makes Castiel laugh. “Jesus, Cas, you’re such a fucking creep!”

“I’m sorry, Dean, but I was rejoicing my eyesight with the wonderful view of you,” Castiel says casually. He observes that Dean’s grey t-shirt has oil stains, and also his chin. His hair is a bit messy, which makes him really cute and handsome.

Dean arches a brow. “Were you checking my ass out?”

“That’s another way of saying it.”

Dean bursts into laughter and he walks towards his mobile to lower the volume of the music. “You’re unbelievable.” He bites his lower lip as he smiles, shaking his head.

Castiel smiles and approaches him, offering him the beer. “Here.”

“Thanks,” he says and he leans to kiss him briefly, Castiel humming into it. He opens the bottle and takes a sip, letting out a satisfied gasp after it; he clearly was thirsty. “Want some?” He arches his eyebrows as he offers the bottle and Castiel takes a small sip. The beer is cold and it feels good in his tongue and in his throat.

He hands it back to Dean, who takes another sip. “How’s the Impala’s fixing going?”

“I’m about to finish,” he explains as he takes a look to his precious car. “I just need to tighten some nuts and I’ll be done.” He looks back at Cas and he rolls his hurt shoulder. “Took me longer than I wanted ‘cause of the shoulder.”

“You shouldn’t force yourself like this,” he says worried but there’s a hint or warning in his voice.

“I’m fine, Cas, don’t worry.” He kisses Cas’ forehead and the ex-angel closes his eyes at the touch of Dean’s lips on his skin. He opens them when he feels Dean holding his injured wrist. “Does it still hurt you?” he asks as his thumb caresses the bandage.

“Not much,” he says casually, shrugging.

Dean smiles and takes another sip. The bottle is already empty and he leaves it next to his tool box before he grabs a wrench and goes back to the Impala. “Hey, I’ve been thinking on making burritos for dinner tonight, what do you think?”

“You know I like everything you cook, Dean,” he says as he takes a few steps closer to Dean, staying on the Impala’s side.

Dean grins. “But I like hearing your opinion.”

He arches one eyebrow. “Because it’s good for your ego?”

The hunter rolls his eyes and lets out an acid laugh. “You’re a douchebag.” He looks at Cas, dedicating him a playful glare.

“I love you too, Dean,” he says sassily.

“Of course you do.” At those words, Castiel rolls his eyes and he kicks Dean’s leg softly, not wanting to hurt him. The hunter finds it hilarious and he laughs, the sound of it echoing in the garage. “You haven’t answered my question about the burritos.”

“You already know the answer, Dean.” But the hunter gives him that hopeful look and Castiel sighs. “Yes, Dean, I really want you to make burritos for dinner.”

Dean grins as beautifully as always and Castiel can’t help mirroring it. The hunter keeps working on the inside of the Impala and then, he admires his work before he closes the hood. “Baby’s good,” he says as he rubs his arm on his sweaty forehead. He catches Castiel smiling and Dean frowns. “What?”

Castiel catches Dean’s chin in between his thumb and his index finger. “You have oil here.” He caresses the black stain, getting his thumb dirty, but he doesn’t mind it. He is focused on the way Dean is looking at him, blushing slightly, making his freckles stand a little bit more. It doesn’t take the ex-angel too much to lean and kiss Dean sweetly, tasting him.

Dean holds him by the small of his back, moaning in the kiss. There’s a moment when his hands move to the back of Cas’ thighs and he lifts him and sits him on the hood of the Impala. Castiel giggles in the kiss, feeling the satisfactory grin of his lover. He runs his fingers through his light, brown hair, pulling their chests closer as Dean’s hands stay on Cas’ hips.

When they pull away, both of them are grinning. Castiel loves it when Dean is happy, when he is smiling and there are crinkles on the corner of his beautiful eyes. He looks at his boyfriend, letting himself get lost in the forest of his eyes, cupping his beautiful face.

“You look gorgeous when you smile, Cas,” Dean says as he nuzzles his jaw.

“I was about to say the same thing about you.” He pulls Dean into another kiss, feeling the soft humming and the happy moans of the green eyed man.

The music keeps playing; the song is _Piece of my Heart_ by Janis Joplin. Both of them don’t pay too much attention to the music, they are busy with their kisses and their hands mapping each other’s bodies, but part of the lyrics get to Castiel.

_“Have another little piece of my heart now, baby. You know you got it, if it makes you feel good, oh, yes indeed.”_

He knows that if Dean could hear his thoughts, he would say that he is being cheesy, but the truth is that Cas’ heart has always belonged to Dean and will always belong to him. He loves him more than anything in this world.

Instead of saying anything of that, he kisses Dean, trying to say with it what he doesn’t want to let out with words. It’s something he has learnt from Dean, and he knows that Dean gets the message.

 

_____

 

After the tasty burritos Dean made, the three of them end up in the living room watching _Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade_. It’s Castiel’s favorite from the saga and he really enjoys it.

When the movie finishes, Dean starts to pick up the DVD and Sam wishes them goodnight. Castiel and Dean head towards their bedroom once the ex-angel switches off the television. Dean places his arm around the small of Castiel’s back, pulling their sides together and Castiel rests his arm on the small of his boyfriend’s back. He likes when Dean has the need to feel them closer.

The moment they get inside their bedroom, both of them sit on the end of the bed and they start to take off their boots and socks, throwing them towards the closet, producing a racketing sound.

“I should better put one that’s cleaner,” Dean says looking at his t-shirt, still with some stains from working on the Impala. He stands up and starts trying to take off his t-shirt, but his shoulder is still in pain and it doesn’t help him.

Castiel stands up and pulls Dean’s hands away from the t-shirt and looks at him with a tender face. “Let me,” he says sweetly.

“Now you have an excuse to take off my clothes,” he says cockily.

“As if I ever needed an excuse.”

Dean laughs, but it is a bit muffled when the t-shirt is being taken off. “Yeah, you don’t.”

Castiel throws the shirt towards the dirty clothes basket and he places his hands on Dean’s pectorals, feeling the warmth of his skin. He caresses the tattooed skin, following with his eyes the motion. When he lifts his eyes to meet Dean’s, he finds that Dean has been looking at his face. He leans and kisses him slowly but spiritedly, feeling how Dean goes weak on his knees.

After a few heated kisses, Castiel begins to kiss Dean’s neck, tasting his salty skin and with his fingers he caresses Dean’s left nipple.

“Cas—” Dean moans, tilting his head to the opposite side so he can give Cas more room for kisses. His fingers bury in the wild, dark mess of his hair.

It doesn’t take too long for Dean to unzip Castiel’s jeans and to take them off. They kiss again while Castiel does the same with Dean’s jeans. Castiel’s Henley is the next piece of clothing that is removed and they go back to kissing. Carefully, Castiel holds Dean and pulls both of them onto the bed, being the ex-angel the one with his back against the mattress.

Their movements are tender and they are taking their time; there is no rush. They can savor this moment and they are going to. Even when they take their underwear their movements are delicate, as if they were afraid of breaking each other into million pieces. They are slightly hurt from the last hunt, but it doesn’t have to do with the speed of their movements; they want to go slow and take their time.

Dean begins to praise Castiel’s body with his mouth, leaving trails of kisses everywhere as his eyes never abandon Castiel’s. His hands move slowly and sweetly over the ex-angel’s body, caressing his warm skin, wanting to map his body and feel every tiny inch of it.

Castiel cups Dean’s face and urges him to move up so they can kiss. His hands start tracing down Dean’s back, enjoying the way it curves, following its path until it becomes his ass and he caresses it chastely. He moves his hands, rounding his hips and he caresses his belly, moving up his hands along his chest, feeling how it moves with every pant he makes.

They are already hard and both of them rub their erections together, slowly, but deliciously, making them moan lowly. They share sweet, brief kisses and their hands stay restless, wanting to touch each other’s bodies.

Dean slides his body slightly as he grabs the lube and a condom, kneeling on the mattress while he puts the condom on and he spreads the lube on his hands. As he does that, Castiel keeps caressing his freckled thorax, earning him a beautiful smile from Dean.

The hunter leans onto the ex-angel and he starts fingering him, going slowly and Castiel moans sweetly with the feeling of Dean’s fingers inside him. There isn’t his usual teasing, Dean is only loosening him, touching once in a while his prostate, but once he feels Cas is loose enough, he pulls his fingers away, cleans them and he leans onto Cas.

The ex-angel gets his legs around Dean’s waist and his hands rest on his blades. Dean rests his hands on his thighs, caressing it gently and he starts to push in, making Cas close his eyes and bite his lip as Dean gets deeper. Both of them let out a gasp when Dean is fully settled in.

His thrusts are sweet, slow and delicate but really arousing and passionate. They are making love and Castiel feels overwhelmed by it. He looks at Dean and with one of his hands, he cups his face so they can kiss until both of them have to moan and pull away.

“Dean—” Castiel moans, burying his face in the crook of Dean’s neck, getting overwhelmed by his smell. “Dean—” he repeats, his nails digging in the tender flesh of Dean’s back.

He rocks his hips, matching Dean’s rhythm and he clenches around him, which makes Dean moan, “Cas— Cas— Fuck.”

Castiel kisses Dean’s temple and Dean immediately moves to kiss his lips. It is sloppy but good. It doesn’t last too long because Dean hits that wonderful spot and Castiel has to let out a really loud ‘Dean’ and he presses their bodies impossibly closer.

He loves it when he is buried under Dean’s heated body. He doesn’t have a preference for bottoming or topping, it always feels good. But it is quite maddening when Dean fills his emptiness, and he knows that Dean feels the same when he is the one removing his emptiness.

Dean increases the speed a little, colliding their hips together. Their bodies slot together, as if they were always made for this. Castiel alternates his hands from Dean’s blades to his hair, to the lower of his back or to his strong arms. There’s too much to touch and he needs to feel Dean everywhere. And by how Dean is moving his hands on his body, the feeling is reciprocated.

Dean keeps thrusting in and out, hitting that wonderful spot over and over again, heat building in Castiel’s stomach, and he grinds and clenches, making Dean’s body tremble and shake. He kisses Dean again, moaning and humming into it. There are a few more thrusts and Castiel arches his back and digs his nails in strong muscles of Dean’s biceps. He is close; both are really close.

When Dean’s cock touches that sweet spot, Castiel comes with a loud moan and gets really tight around Dean, who immediately comes too. He sounds as loud as Castiel, and he fucks him into both of their orgasms until he can’t move anymore and collapses onto his boyfriend, letting out a pleased, happy gasp.

Castiel caresses lazily Dean’s hair, earning him a smile that he can feel on his shoulder. He closes his eyes and focuses on feeling Dean’s body pressed against him, hearing how they pant.

“Are you tired?” Castiel asks softly, almost teasingly.

Dean hums. “Yeah. Don’t wanna move.” He nuzzles his collarbone before kissing it. “But I have to.” He grunts and gets out of Castiel, who lets out an unpleased huff. Dean tosses away the condom and he looks for a wipe to clean Castiel’s mess on their bellies.

“Give it to me,” Castiel says grabbing the wipe and sitting on the mattress. He starts cleaning Dean’s stomach, painted in white. He feels a puncture in his wrist and he is forced to use his left hand.

“Idiot.” Dean takes the wipe from his hand and finishes cleaning himself. “That’s what happens when you only worry about me and forget about yourself.” He makes playful smile and begins cleaning Castiel.

“I’m afraid it’s one of my defects.”

“Nah, you just care too much.”

“You too.”

Dean smirks. He tosses away the used wipe and he cups Castiel’s face to kiss him. It’s a fervent kiss that leaves both of them gasping for air. When they pull away, Dean has a cocky smile and he drops onto his side. Castiel can’t help looking at him with a smile that says that he is happy and that his boyfriend is kind of an assbutt.

“Wanna stay there sitting?” Dean asks with an arched brow.

“Maybe. I like looking at you,” Castiel answers casually, although he slips some sass in it.

“That’s ‘cause you’re a creep.” Castiel rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “Hey,” Dean begins to say as he caresses his hip. “You know I’m just teasing you, right?”

Castiel nods and he lies down, next to Dean, turning his face to look at him. “But I’m still a creep.”

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite creep.”

Castiel tries not to smile, but it’s difficult. He surrenders to it and it earns him a tender kiss from Dean. “You are terrible.”

“I’m the worst, babe.” He leans to kiss him again and Castiel sighs happily. Dean places his hand on his jaw, his fingers brushing his hair and Castiel rests his hand on top of his. “I L-word you, Cas.”

Castiel smiles. “I love you too.”

He presses himself against Dean’s side and Dean holds him tightly, kissing the top of his head as they cuddle.

This is better than Heaven.

 

***

 

Dean wakes up in the morning when he feels Cas’ warm hand caressing his chest. He opens his eyes and finds Cas looking at him with a tender smile drawn on his lips.

“Good morning, Dean,” Castiel greets.

“G’morning,” Dean mumbles with a sleepy voice. He rubs his eyes and he gives Cas a confused frown. “What are you doing already awake? You should be all grumpy because it’s morning.” Sometimes Cas wakes up before Dean, but it is still surprising to find him already awake. It is something that Dean barely gets to see. Castiel points with his head the alarm clock and Dean turns to look at it; it’s 11:17, way longer than Dean’s usual wake up time. “Damn.” He rubs his face and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his noce. “Why did you leave me sleep this long?”

“Because it seemed you needed to get some sleep and I enjoy having you in bed. We both benefited.”

Dean chuckles and he looks at Cas, who is smiling widely. “Did you go for coffee while I was sleeping? Because it’s strange to see you in bed this awake.”

Castiel chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I didn’t. I’ve waited patiently for you to wake up. Meanwhile I’ve watched you sleeping and I’ve been caressing your chest,” he explains happily. Dean arches one eyebrow and Castiel sighs. “Come on, just say it.”

“Say what?” he asks with a cocky smile, pretending that he doesn’t know what Cas means.

“That I’m a creep.”

Dean smiles. “Why do I have to say it when you can say it by yourself?”

Castiel pulls his hand from Dean’s chest and rolls onto his back, crossing his arms on his chest and faking that he is mad at him. “You haven’t even had breakfast and you are already a pain in the ass.” Dean laughs, because hearing Cas swear, unless they are making love or having sex, it’s something adorable and funny. “You are laughing at me!”

“Sorry,” Dean says laughing. He rolls onto his side and kisses Cas’ shoulder. “You’re adorable when you get mad and swear.” He keeps leaving a trail of kisses, reaching Cas’ jaw.

Castiel arches his eyebrow. “Do you really want me to get mad?” He sounds really serious and threatening.

“No, because you’re like a fucking storm and you get pretty scary.” His words make Castiel smile pleased, showing his pride. “Which is kind of hot, by the way,” he adds and Castiel narrows his eyes in confusion. “But scary. But I meant when you get mad in the cute way, not in the badass way.”

“You are weird.”

“Says the king of weirdness.”

Castiel’s grin is beautiful and Dean has to kiss him. “You are an assbutt, Dean,” Castiel murmurs in the kiss.

“Yeah, I am. But I’m your assbutt.” They keep kissing passionately and dirtily, making both of them moan. “Shower together and breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

Dean smiles and kisses Cas again before they head towards the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Dean sings is _Four Sticks_ by Led Zeppelin.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the comments, the bookmarks and the susbcriptions :)
> 
> Christina hasn't betaed this chapter yet, but once she does, I'll re-upload it.
> 
>  **IMPORTANT:** My finals are coming, which means I'm going to take a long hiatus and I won't be able to post the next chapter until **February 15th**. I'm sorry for this long hiatus, but I really need to study.

While Dean is on his laptop, looking for some TV show to watch, Castiel is drawing and Sam is reading. The three of them are in the library, focused on their stuff, in comfortable silence. Dean likes this; the three of them together in the same room. Sometimes they say something or there’s a small talk, and when they finish their talking, they go back to what they were doing. He likes having calm days like this.

Suddenly, Dean’s phone rings, breaking the silence and making Cas and Sam look at him with curious eyes. Dean grabs his phone and smiles when he sees Charlie’s name on the screen.

“Hey, Charlie,” Dean says smiling. “What’s up?”

“ _You don’t know it, right?_ ” Charlie says with a small sass in her voice and Dean can swear she must be smiling at the end of the line.

“Know what?”

She lets out an exasperated sigh. “ _About AC/DC’s surprise concert tonight in Kansas City!_ ”

Dean opens his eyes widely. “What?” His question is surprised and too loud, which makes Sam and Cas interchange a worried look before they look at Dean, trying to know why he is reacting like that.“Really?”

Charlie hums in affirmation. “ _News appeared like thirty minutes ago and tickets are gonna be able to buy online in ten minutes. And they are going to be quite cheap, $20 if that tweet is right,_ ” she explains. In the background, Dean can hear her keyboarding. “ _Yep, $20. Apparently they’re promoting their last record and all the benefits are gonna go for cancer investigation._ ” She makes a small pause and it sounds as if she was grinning. “ _Are you still there or are you somewhere fanboying?_ ”

“Ha, ha, very funny, Charlie.” He rolls his eyes and Charlie laughs. “Okay, tell me that website where I can buy those tickets.”

“Tickets?” Sam asks confused.

“AC/DC is gonna play a surprise show tonight in Kansas City and I’m definitely going,” he tells Sam with both of his eyebrows raised, grinning as if it was suddenly Christmas. He has never had the chance to see AC/DC. Whenever they came to USA, Dean was somewhere else and the tickets were too expensive. This is a chance he can’t miss. “The tickets are extremely cheap.”

“ _For what I’m reading on twitter, the website is collapsed,_ ” Charlie begins to say and Dean lets out a frustrated groan. “ _But,_ ” she keeps saying. “ _Your awesome friend managed to get in it and she is waiting for the buying time._ ”

“Charlie, you’re awesome.” He grins widely. “I’m gonna bake you a hundred pies for this.”

“ _I know._ ” She giggles and Dean laughs. “ _Are Sam and Cas going to go with you?_ ”

Dean looks at his brother and his boyfriend. He wants the two of them to go with him. He has been to a couple of concerts with Sam and it was amazing; having Cas with them will be even better, plus it will be Cas’ first rock concert, and Dean wants to be part of it.

“You guys will come with me, right?” Dean asks with a hopeful sight.

Sam smirks. “Do you even have to ask that?” he asks with a sassy face.

Dean dedicates a successful grin to his brother before he looks at Cas. “And you?” he asks timidly. Castiel makes that sweet, innocent face of his, looking a bit confused. “It’ll be your first rock concert, Cas.” He nibbles his lower lip, nervous about Cas’ decision. He wants Cas to go, but if he doesn’t, Dean isn’t going to force him.

“You have to lend me one of your old AC/DC’s t-shirts,” Castiel says casually.

It makes Dean burst into laughter. “Yes, Charlie, three tickets.”

“ _Excellent,_ ” she says excitedly. “ _Once I got them, I’ll send you an e-mail and all you’ve got to do is print them._ ”

“Awesome.”

He is finally going to see AC/DC live. And he is going to see them with his brother and his boyfriend. Awesome.

 

_____

 

The only bad thing about this is the almost five hour long drive to Kansas City. They have plenty of time, but Dean knows he is getting too old for these long drives. When he was younger, he could drive almost for ten hours before he felt tired; now six hours is his limit; seven if he has to push. But at least he isn’t driving to someplace where a monster will try to kill him; he is going to a concert of one of his favorite bands, and that makes the drive a little bit easier.

Dean smiles as he hears the Impala purr as it goes down the road. He smiles at the sun that leaks through the window and that caresses his skin, warming it up. He smiles at knowing that Sam and Cas are there in this car that has been a home for him for so many years.

Sam chuckles. “You seem excited and happy.”

“Hell yes!” Dean says with a wide grin and looking at his brother. “We’re gonna see AC/DC! How am I not gonna be excited and happy?” He makes a smirk and Sam can’t help chuckling one more time. “I’m gonna see those awesome old rocking motherfuckers and my boyfriend and my brother are coming with me. Doesn’t it sound awesome to you?”

Sam nods and makes an agreement pout. Dean is about to look at Cas, sitting on the backseat, but the ex-angel is already leaning and reaching for Dean’s cheek to kiss it. 

“Yes, it does,” Cas says.

Dean grins and blushes. He takes a quick look at Cas through the rearview mirror, appreciating how good he looks with that old grey AC/DC t-shirt Dean lent him. It suits him perfectly. Dean is also wearing a t-shirt with the band’s name on it, although his is black. Sam, however is wearing what he was wearing before they left; he doesn’t own any rock band t-shirt and Dean’s are too small and short for him, but it doesn’t matter; his brother is there and although he doesn’t have the same passion for the band as Dean, he likes some of their songs, which happens to be Cas’ case as well.

“Hey, Cas,” Sam begins to say. “Have you ever been to any kind of concert before?”

“No. Although while I was in charge of watching humanity, I could see some of your classical musicians; like Mozart, Chopin or Beethoven,” he explains casually. Sam makes an impressive face. “But I have never been there.”

“Well, AC/DC is really different from those guys,” Dean says chuckling. “And louder. Damn, I hope you don’t get deaf.”

Castiel’s brows knit together, forming a frown. “I’m not sure if you are exaggerating or not.”

“Trust me, he’s not exaggerating at all,” Sam says with a grimace. “Rock concerts are really loud. And smelly.” He laughs with the last word and Cas’ frown only deepens.

Dean can’t help laughing. “Fuck, Sam, you’re gonna scare him.”

“I’m only preparing him for the diverse kind of animals in any rock concert.”

“You make it sound as if we were going to a jungle,” he says with a sharp but sassy voice.

“Close enough.”

Castiel leans on the back of the front seat and gives them confused looks. “What are you talking about?”

If Dean wasn’t driving he would kiss Cas. He looks so cute when he is this confused. Instead of kissing, Dean laughs and shakes his head. “Shall we prepare him or—?” Dean begins to ask with a mischievous smile.

Sam gives him a small bitch face. “Usually in rock concerts,” Sam begins to explain Castiel. “People tend to smoke joints.” Castiel tilts his head as he narrows his eyes, which Sam and Dean know as Cas not knowing about something.

“Marijuana, Cas.”

“Oh,” Castiel says casually. “Isn’t that illegal?”

“Yeah, but people don’t care.” He shrugs. “And sometimes the smell is freaking intense, so don’t worry if you start smelling marijuana in the air.” He looks at Cas and the ex-angel nods. “I don’t think you’ll get high but, who knows.” He smiles mischievously and Sam gives him another bitch face. “Hey, he used to get drunk with just one beer, I wouldn’t be surprised if he got high by only smelling the smoke.”

“You make me sound as if I was a baby,” Castiel mutters quite pissed off.

“You aren’t a baby, Cas. But you’ve got low intolerance to these things. It’s normal. Sam used to be knocked out with one beer when he started drinking.”

“And you loved that,” Sam says sassily and Dean can’t help a guilty grin. Sam turns so he can look at Cas. “Whenever I got drunk and passed out on the couch, he used to paint my face with a marker or put glitter in my hair or drop ketchup and mayonnaise on my clothes.”

Castiel laughs and it is a wonderful sound. “What a wonderful and caring brother you were sometimes, Dean,” he says sarcastically, letting out a pretty laugh.

“But then he got his revenge and he put glue on stuff and dye my underwear in pink,” Dean says as he glares at Sam, who laughs at the memory. “And don’t get me started with the pranks.”

“That was war,” Sam says in between laughs. “We could spend months pranking each other until we declared truce.”

“It was madness.”

“Yeah.”

When Dean turns to look at Cas, his blue eyed boyfriend has a tender and happy look. He is clearly enjoying their stories; he always does and his eyes always get that beautiful bright and emotive spark.

Cas seems to notice the way Dean looks at smiles at him because he asks him, “What?”

“I L-word you,” Dean says.

“I love you too, Dean.” He leans and kisses Dean’s cheek again.

Sam grins at the two of them and Dean can’t help blushing.

 

_____

 

Since they arrive almost two hours before the concert, the first thing they do is try to find somewhere to spend the night at, because there is no way Dean is going to drive for another five hours after a rock concert and in the middle of the night. Not only is going to be exhausting for him; it will also be it for Sam and Cas.

They check the motels, but all of them are full; it seems that everyone outside Kansas City thought the same they did and they got motel rooms the moment they arrived. Still, they check for a hotel, where luckily, they find a room. It’s more expensive than a motel room, but it’s what they have.

Given the price of the rooms, they decide to get one with two twin beds that are quite large, which means that Dean and Cas can share their bed without any problem or having half of their bodies out of it. And the best thing of the hotel room is the bathroom, which means hot water without fighting with the tap because if you move it an inch the water seems from Mordor and if you move it an opposite inch it seems from Hoth.

Once they have left the few stuff they carried with them, some clean clothes and bathroom stuff, they walk towards the stadium where the concert is. It isn’t too far from the hotel, which is great.

There’s already a huge line of people waiting to get inside and the three of them have to wait for almost thirty minutes. While they wait, Dean doesn’t miss Cas’ curious stares at the people that walk by. It makes Dean smile because he has a cute, dorky ex-angel of the lord as a boyfriend.

The moment they get into the stadium, Dean grabs Castiel’s hand and tells Sam to walk in front of them so he can make their way in between the people in order to get as close as they can to the stage. Because of Sam’s height, the younger Winchester has always been really good at getting quite close to the stage in any concert.

Sam walks in between the people, followed by Dean and Cas. Dean doesn’t let go Cas’ hand; he knows he won’t get lost, but there’s a lot of people already and he doesn’t want Cas to stay behind.

They make it to what it seems to be the tenth line and Dean is really happy about it. It is impossible to get closer, but they are standing in a great place. He takes a look around, checking the stage and seeing the amount of people already there before he looks at Cas, who was doing the same thing Dean was doing.

“You doing good?” Dean asks.

“Yes. I thought this wasn’t going to be as crowded as it is,” Castiel says, taking another look around.

“Wait ‘til it’s full. And for when people start jumping,” Sam says chuckling. “And you should know that Dean likes to jump, a lot.”

Castiel quirks an eyebrow and looks at Dean. “Really?”

“Well, yeah,” Dean says chuckling. “It’s impossible not to jump in a rock concert.”

Sam chuckles and Cas presses his lips into a thin line, trying to avoid a smile, but in a failed attempt, making him look so damn cute. The concert hasn’t even started and Dean is already adoring everything so far.

It doesn’t take too long to fill the stadium and a few minutes later, the band comes out and starts playing and Dean begins to scream and jump like everyone is doing in there. Cas looks at him with wondering eyes and he joins the jumping, letting himself go with the music.

Dean sings the songs, feeling how his lungs are craving for air and how his throat feels raspier the more he sings, but he doesn’t care; he is going to put all his voice in this moment and he is going to jump as high as he can with every song. He can believe that he is seeing AC/DC.

There’s a moment when Sam places himself behind Dean and Cas and places his arms around their shoulders, squeezing the couple against his sides as the three of them jump. Castiel laughs, the crinkles around his eyes appearing, and Dean is like that too and embracing his brother tightly.

When _Back in Black_ starts playing, Dean jumps higher than ever and the three of them sing the lyrics with all the air in their lungs. Sam sings and screams and Cas sings and jumps, grinning widely. When the solo comes, the three of them shake their heads effusively.

The classics keep sounding and Sam, Dean and Cas sing all of them. Sometimes they look at each other while they do it, smiling or laughing, shaking their bodies with the rhythm. The air is thick and full of different smells. They are sweating and blushed and Dean is starting to feel his legs exhausted, but he doesn’t mind, because this is worth it.

He looks at Cas, all enthusiastic, enjoying the songs and jumping and dancing with them. Dean wasn’t sure if Cas was going to enjoy this, but he is glad to see that Cas is enjoying this as much as he and Sam are.

 _Whole Lotta Rosie_ starts to sound and everyone jumps and sings. And the moment the chorus finishes to start the bridge of the song, Cas fists the front of Dean’s t-shirt and pulls him into a fervent kiss, placing his free hand on Dean’s hair, running it through it. Dean is caught off guard but he immediately kisses him back, holding him by the small of his back, sneaking his fingers under his t-shirt, feeling his sweated, hot skin, pressing him closer.

Sam whistles at them, the song keeps sounding and Dean and Cas keep kissing, feeling their knees go weak as Cas gets his tongue deeper in Dean’s mouth and the green eyed hunter moans into the kiss. When they pull away, both of them are gasping for air and feeling hotter than before.

“That was disgusting,” an almost sixty year old man with a raspy voice says. He gives them a deadly glare and he grimaces.

Dean is about to tell him to fuck off, and Sam is going to, but Cas shows him his middle finger and glares him while he says, “Fuck you.”

The man grunts, Sam chuckles and Dean smirks before Cas throws at him again so they can kiss again. Dean hums happily in the kiss as his hands find Cas’ hair and he messes it even more with his fast, desperate movements. “Fuck, you’ve got no idea how much I like it when you are badass,” Dean says after the kiss, cupping Cas’ cheek to kiss him again. He feels Cas’ smile in it.

“I can’t stand people judging me for loving you,” Castiel says into his mouth and Dean feels touched by his words.

“Yeah, me neither.”

They share another passionate kiss that ends at the same time the song does and they smile at each other, happily.

There are a few more songs, and the concert finishes when they sing _For Those About to Rock We Salute You_. There are fireworks and everyone looks at the sky to see them. The band says goodbye and the lights switch on. They are drained, drenched in their sweat, their cheeks are red and they are quite thirsty.

Sam gets his arm around Dean’s shoulders and Cas rests his head on Dean’s right shoulder, closing his eyes and placing his arms around Dean’s waist. People behind them are starting to move in order to leave, but they will wait until the stadium is quite clear. Now it is impossible to move.

“Was it awesome, or not?” Dean asks looking at Sam.

“Yeah, it was it,” Sam says, sounding pretty exhausted but really happy.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas, who is sleepy and tired. “What about you, babe?”

“It was awesome,” Castiel answers smiling. “But I’m really tired. And my ears hurt a little.”

“Don’t worry, Cas,” Sam begins to say. “Tomorrow morning you’ll be fine.” His words make Cas open his eyes and nod.

Dean kisses the top of Castiel’s head, feeling how damp his hair is. “Now we’re gonna head to the hotel, take a shower and sleep, don’t worry.”

“Can we buy some water first?” Castiel asks. His voice is rough and Dean is sure that he will be aphonic tomorrow. Along with him and Sam, who aren’t doing better.

“Yeah, please,” Sam says almost desperate and looking around for somewhere to buy some water. “There.” He points some small stand almost at the end of the stadium.

The three of them walk towards it, still embraced to each other and Dean feels extremely happy.

 

_____

 

Sam sneaks into the shower because he says that Cas and Dean are going to shower together and he doesn’t want to get in there after whatever they plan on doing, so Dean and Cas drop onto their bed and let out a groan the moment they feel the nice mattress under their backs.

“I’m exhausted,” Cas says rubbing his face.

“I know,” Dean says, turning his face to look at him. He begins to caress Cas’ tummy, feeling the sweaty t-shirt that it is completely stuck on Cas’ skin. It can be heard how the water runs in the shower; luckily Sam won’t take too long and Dean and Cas’ turn will arrive soon. They both need and crave that shower. “But you liked it, right?”

“I loved it, Dean. But it isn’t something that I’m willing to do again until a few months have passed.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah.”

“But it was extraordinary, especially because you and Sam were there.” His hand finds Dean’s, pulling it away from his stomach as they intertwine their fingers. “I felt really good, being there with you, singing, jumping, dancing, I felt—” He sighs and closes his eyes, smiling and squeezing Dean’s hand.

“Alive,” Dean completes. Cas’ eyes open and he nods. “Me too. Although feeling this alive means losing your voice for a couple of days and feeling roughness in parts of your body that you didn’t know they existed.” Cas laughs and Dean has to kiss him. There’s a soft hum that comes from the blue eyed man. The kiss is slow and lazy, but it is good, like every kiss they share. “I’m so fucking happy you came and you enjoyed it.”

Castiel smiles and cups Dean’s face, his thumb stroking his cheekbone. “Me too, although I hate the beeping in my ears.”

“You’re so sensitive sometimes,” he mocks with a smirk.

“Dean, we both are exhausted, don’t give me reasons to kick you.”

“You get so cute when you get mad at me.” His words earn him a glare and getting elbowed on his stomach, not too hard, but it huts him a little. “Dick.”

“Assbutt.”

They kiss again and Dean rolls onto him. Their movements are slow, but it still feels extremely good. Dean caresses Cas’ thighs as Cas maps his back. They moan and hum into each other as their kisses get more intense and deeper.

“For fuck’s sake, guys!” Sam exclaims, making them pull away and look at the bathroom’s door. Sam is already dressed with clean clothes and fully fresh from the shower. "This is a common room.”

“You were taking your time,” Dean says causally, earning him a glare from his brother. “Don’t worry, we won’t do anything else in the bedroom.” He begins to stand up and he grabs Cas’ hand, helping him to stand up before he goes to their travel bag to get them clean clothes.

“Sorry for that, Sam,” Castiel says.

“At least your boyfriend apologizes,” Sam tells Dean with a deadly stare.

“Well,” Dean begins to say as he grabs Castiel’s wrist and pulls him into the bathroom. “He’s too good for this world.” He hears Sam chuckling before he closes the door.

“Too good for this world?” Castiel asks with an arched brow as he gets the water started.

“Yeah.” He shrugs casually, not giving it any importance at all. It’s the true; Cas is what dreams are made of. And that was one of the cheesiest things Dean has ever thought. Thankfully he didn’t say it out loud.

“You aren’t saying that because you think I’m too good for you, right?” he asks cautiously as he takes off his t-shirt, revealing his glorious skin, before he keeps taking off the rest of clothes.

“No, I’m not.” Dean starts to take off his clothes too, feeling free from the stickiness of them. “I swear. I still think it, but I wasn’t saying that because of it.”

Castiel looks into his eyes, an habit he has for making sure that Dean is telling him the truth. He takes a step and places his hands on Dean’s biceps, right where his handprint used to be. Dean misses them. “You know that I love you with all my heart and soul, right?”

“Yeah, Cas, of course I know.” He feels so overwhelmed about hearing those words that his voice cracks a little. He doesn’t understand why Cas is saying that and he wants to ask why, but his words get lost with the pretty smile that Cas makes.

“Good.”

“And you know I feel the same way, right?” He places his hands on Cas’ waist and looks at his too fucking blue eyes, letting himself drown in them like he has always done; since the first time they met.

“Of course I do.” His hand comes to rest on Dean’s face, cupping his cheek and he leans to kiss him sweetly and gently. “Shall we shower? Because we really need it.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah.”

The water is warm, but not boiling and the moment they are under the spray, both of them let out a relieved and satisfied sigh. The water is gentle with their sore muscles and it carries away the sweat. They stay pressed to each other, with their eyes closed, feeling how the water runs down their bodies, the tension and the tiredness in their muscles slowly fading away.

“Turn around,” Cas says and Dean opens his eyes, admiring the beauty of Cas, completely wet and with his hair darker than usually because of the water. “Let me wash your hair.”

Dean complies. Cas gets shampoo on his hands and he starts to massage Dean’s scalp as he spreads the shampoo on his hair. The green eyed man closes his eyes and hums happily, enjoying the way Cas’ hands move. It is something really pleasurable and relaxing that brings a smile to his lips.

“You really like this, don’t you?” Castiel asks, and by the way his voice sounds, Dean knows he is smiling.

Dean hums in affirmation. “You like it too when I do it to you.”

“It’s true.”

Cas moves Dean so he can be under the spray and he washes off the shampoo, his fingers moving soothingly and gently. When Dean’s hair has only water on it, Dean turns and steals a brief kiss from Cas. “Your turn.”

The ex-angel turns and Dean starts to do the same Cas has done to him; he spreads the shampoo on Cas’ hair, massaging his scalp, producing the same happy effect that Dean felt before, which makes Dean smile widely.

He washes off the shampoo, making sure he doesn’t leave any foam on Cas’ hair. When he is done, Cas turns and places his hands on Dean’s chest, caressing the wet and hot skin before he kisses him sweetly. The hunter cups his sharp jaw and pulls him a little bit closer. Cas nuzzles his nose when they pull away, making both of them smile.

Cas grabs a sponge and drops some gel on it before he starts washing Dean’s body. His movements are slow and gentle, but he makes sure that he cleans Dean perfectly; he always does it this way. Dean doesn’t take his eyes away from Cas’ face, watching how concentrated he is on washing him, how his blue eyes follow the sponge he is holding.

There’s a moment when Cas’ eyes meet his and Cas blushes, which makes Dean grin. “You still blush when I look at you,” Dean comments, grinning.

“Yes, I do.” Cas is now cleaning the inner of Dean’s thighs, moving so delicately that Dean finds it hard to suppress his little moans. “Your eyes have always been so intense and beautiful.”

“Geez, you’re a cheesy, sap, Cas.”

Castiel smiles beautifully. “I prefer the term romantic.”

Dean laughs and rolls his eyes. His boyfriend gives him a small glare with an arched brow. “You’re romantic, but also cheesy and sappy.” He turns around so Cas can wash his back.

“You like to point it out, but I know you secretly enjoy it when I’m cheesy and sappy,” he snaps with a soft voice. Dean feels how the sponge moves on his back and how Cas leans his chin on his shoulder, looking at him with a cocky smile.

“Okay, yeah, but don’t tell anyone.”

Castiel giggles and kisses his cheek, and then his neck. “I won’t. Your badass reputation is safe with me.”

Dean laughs. “Fuck, Cas, I—” he sighs and presses his chin on his chest. He smiles and turns his face to look at Cas, looking at him with expectant eyes. Dean chuckles and shakes his head. “I’m so fucking lucky for having you.” He doesn’t intend his voice to sound so emotive, but he can’t help it.

“Because your badass reputation is safe with me?”

Dean can’t see him, but he knows that Cas is frowning in confusion. “Babe, you’re so literal sometimes.” He feels that Cas has finished washing him and he turns around to face him. He doesn’t hesitate on cupping Cas’ face and pulling their faces so close that their lips are almost touching. “I’m so fucking lucky for having you because you’re awesome, extraordinary, beautiful, funny, generous, badass, sweet, caring, smart, kind and a thousand million other things, and because you make me really happy and you make me want to live and damn, Cas, that’s— that’s fucking awesome. That’s why I’m so lucky, because I’ve got you and it’s awesome.”

Cas’ eyes are wide and he is blushed. He isn’t used to hear Dean praising him. “Dean,” he says with a breathy voice.

Dean smiles and kisses him. Like always, he tries to say with a kiss all those other words he has left behind and all those words he can’t say out loud yet. When they pull away, Cas is smiling tenderly and Dean is caressing his face. “Now let me wash you, Cas.”

He starts washing Cas, also with gentle and delicate movements. Cas is all the time smiling and Dean returns the smile. Dean says that Cas is really cheesy and sappy, but sometimes Dean is it even more than him.

Dean catches Castiel’s tender look and he arches his eyebrow, knowing that the ex-angel is thinking about what Dean has said. “Still thinking about what I said?”

“Yes,” Castiel murmurs. He lets out a little happy sigh when Dean washes his waist. “It caught me off guard.”

“Now you know what I feel when you praise me,” he jokes.

Castiel glares him. “You are a dick.”

“Yeah, I am. That’s why I wonder in the first place how we’re even together.”

“Is that another joke?” His question sounds more sad than serious.

“You’ve already told me a hundred times why we are together, Cas.”

“But you still ask yourself that.”

Dean sighs. “Yeah, I do.” He shrugs casually, not wanting to give it more importance than Cas is already giving it.

“How many times do I have to tell you that I love you before you start believing that I do and that you are full of worth?”

“Cas, don’t start with this again.” He takes a deep breath and rubs his face.

“Dean, you know I hate knowing that you don’t think you are full of worth.” His hands come to Dean’s collarbone. “I hate knowing that you believe that you aren’t worth of my love.”

“It’s not that, Cas.”

“Then?”

Dean takes a deep breath. He hates having this kind of conversation with Cas. It is hard for him to express with words everything that’s locked in his heart. He takes a deep breath, feeling how his eyes get glassy because he knows it is time to let out one of his fears. “What if someday,” he begins to say, not looking at Cas’ eyes. “You find out that I am really the biggest dick on Earth, that I’m poison and you decide it’s time to leave?”

When he meets Cas’ eyes there are terror and pain in them. There’s a small silence in between them and Castiel cups his face so they can keep eye contact. “Listen to me, Dean Winchester,” he starts to say without hesitation. “I’ve seen you in your lightest and darkest moments, I’ve seen everything about you and I have chosen you every single time and I will. So don’t you ever doubt about my love for you, because I will always love you and chose you. Always.”

Dean lets out a choky breath and nods. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead against Cas. He takes a deep breath and feels how Cas kisses his lips, almost chastely. “Fuck, Cas I’m— thanks.” He opens his eyes and looks at Cas, who has a tiny smile on his lips. “Sorry for this, I—” He clenches his jaw and makes an apologetic look.

“It’s okay, Dean.” Castiel caresses his wet hair and Dean looks at his blue eyes, thanking everything in this world for having someone like Cas, someone who understands him and who has an infinite patience with such a mess for a lover. “And don’t worry, I won’t talk about this with anyone so your badass reputation can be safe.”

Dean lets out a chuckle. He knows that Cas said the last part to ease things. He is really grateful for that; Cas knows him too damn well. “Thank you, for y’know, for not wanting to punch me in the face for being a drama queen.” He smiles and Cas is about to say something, but Dean keeps talking. “And for the record,” he says placing his hand on Cas’ right shoulder. “All you said, it’s reciprocated.”

“I know, Dean. I know.” He kisses Dean sweetly. Then he turns around so Dean can wash his back.

“Fuck, I wasn’t this sensitive with feelings before, what the hell happened?”

Castiel chuckles. “Me, I guess.” His answer sounds a bit sad and Dean immediately embraces his waist, pressing his beautiful, tattooed back against his chest, making Cas look at his face.

“Best thing that ever happened to me.”

Castiel smiles before they meet in a kiss. “What a cheesy, sap you are,” he mocks, smugly.

“That was a low punch, Cas,” Dean says glaring him, but he is laughing as brightly as Cas. He keeps washing Cas’ back, admiring his tattooed wings. “We’re terrible.”

“We’ve always been.”

“Yeah.” He kisses Cas’ nape and caresses Cas’ blades. His hands follow the trace of the wings. “Heaven’s most rebellious angel and the worst pain in monsters’ asses. What a pair, don’t you think?”

“It’s a good pair.”

“Oh yeah.” He kisses Cas, who turns around so they can kiss properly.

They share a few more heated kisses before they get out of the shower, perfectly clean and feeling better. They are still tired, but the shower helped them to feel better, plus the wonderful kisses they shared.

They put on their underwear and their t-shirts and step out of the bathroom, finding Sam already snoring on the other bed, and Cas and Dean share a funny look. It seems that they took their time on the shower and Sam couldn’t wait to fall asleep.

“He was exhausted,” Dean whispers as he looks at his brother. It brings him memories from when they were kids.

“We are it too,” Castiel whispers as he grabs Dean’s hand and pulls him towards the bed. Both of them get into the comfortable mattress and Dean buries his face in the crook of Castiel’s neck, tangling their limbs together, and the ex-angel holds him tighter, smiling. “Goodnight, Dean.”

“Goodnight, Cas,” he says before switching off the lights.

Dean nuzzles Cas’ neck and kisses it before he closes his eyes and surrenders to slumber.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm back! I'm so sorry for the long wait, guys, but I needed time to study. Thanks a lot for your patience. And as always, thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> I will re-upload this once Christina can beta it ^^

The first thing Dean does when he and Cas get inside the motel room, is sit down on the edge of the bed. He feels heavy and exhausted. He is getting old; he is no longer in his twenties, hell, he is no longer in his early thirties. Whenever a hunt was done, Dean always felt exhausted and even stressed, but that rugaru has left him like shit. At least he didn’t have Sam’s luck, who ended up covered in mud. His brother must be in the shower of the other room, trying to remove all that dirt.

He feels Cas sitting next to him. Cas immediately places his arm around his shoulders, guiding Dean’s head to rest on his shoulder. He presses a kiss on the top of his head and his hand starts to caress Dean’s hair soothingly.

Dean sighs and closes his eyes, letting himself sink in Cas’ warmth. Nothing bad happened during the hunt, they got a bit beat, but nothing too serious, but Dean is knackered.

“I’m here, Dean, don’t worry,” Cas whispers softly. His voice is sweet and tender; it feels as if it could wrap Dean with a cozy cover. He can’t help fisting the sleeve of Cas’ shirt, pulling him closer, not wanting to let him go. He knows that the ex-angel won’t go anywhere, but he still does it.

Cas holds him tightly, moving his hands in softly caresses, pressing Dean against his chest. He can hear Cas’ heart beating, wanting to lull him to sleep. He can smell Cas’ overwhelming scent; storm, dirt, sweat and cotton. And he can feel his wonderful warmth.

After all the evil Dean has seen, he is glad about the goodness Cas has in himself. When he looks at Cas, when he feels him and when he hears him, everything is goodness, there is no evil. It makes him wonder if his lover is real, because he is so perfect, so good that it seems impossible that he got into Dean’s life. His life has always been surrounded by darkness and things that would give you terrible nightmares, but Cas is the opposite; he is lightness and he is the one who can give you the best dreams ever.

Cas pulls away and he looks at Dean’s bloody knuckles and at the small wound on his temple. “Let me heal you, Dean,” he says sweetly and standing up. Dean nods. He should heal Cas too; he has a tiny wound on his cheekbone and although it isn’t severe, Dean knows it needs to be healed.

Cas is soon back on the bed, sitting next to Dean. He grabs his hand and disinfects Dean’s wounded knuckles. It smarts and Dean hisses, but he has been worse, much worse.

“Are you fine, Dean?” Castiel asks worried. His eyes look at Dean’s; it’s an habit he has to detect if Dean’s lying, although Dean hasn’t lied to him since they got together. Cas can see through his lies and his shit.

“I’m tired, Cas,” he says sighing. “It’s been an exhausted hunt. I’ll get some sleep and I’ll be fan-damn-tastic.”

He smiles. “Okay.” He puts some bands on Dean’s knuckles. Cas does it with a lot of delicacy and gentleness. Dean leans to press a kiss on his lips; it’s a bit sloppy but it’s sweet. When he pulls away, Cas smiles and starts to clean the wound of his temple. It is closed, but Cas disinfects it and wipes off the blood.

“Thanks for taking care of me, Cas,” he whispers looking at those baby blues.

The ex-angel stops cleaning and looks at Dean confused. “I’m only healing you; I’ve done this several times.”

Dean smiles and grabs Cas’ hand. “I mean about everything.” His boyfriend still looks at him with his brows knitted together. “I barely say it, but—” He takes a deep breath and his thumb caresses the back of Cas’ palm. “Thanks for being with me, for taking care of me, for knowing what to do even when I don’t say a word.”

Cas’ cheeks blush immediately, acquiring that lovely red shade Dean adores. “You are welcome, Dean. And you would do the same with me. Actually, you have done it several times.”

“Not as well as you.”

His boyfriend glares him, which means that’s bullshit and Dean can’t help chuckling. “Why are you telling me this now?”

Dean shrugs. “Just wanted to say it.”

Cas smiles, softly. He is done with Dean’s wound, so he tosses away the used gauzes and he kisses Dean tenderly. When they pull away Cas doesn’t say a word, but Dean knows what he is saying with his eyes because he is saying it too.

“Let me heal you this,” Dean says cupping Cas’ face. He only has to clean it and disinfect it. It doesn’t take him too long. When he finishes, both of them smile and they kiss.

“We need to sleep, come on.” He grabs Dean’s hand, helping him to stand up. They take off their clothes, only leaving their underwear and t-shirts on and they get in bed. It isn’t a comfortable bed, but Dean is so tired that he doesn’t care. Cas presses his chest against Dean’s back, little spooning Dean and he kisses his nape. “Goodnight, beloved.”

“Goodnight, Cas.”

Sometimes Dean is still amused about how his shit and his tiredness suddenly fade away whenever Cas holds him.

 

_____

 

The drive back to the bunker is quite long, and that’s why Dean, after eating something, heads to bed and takes a nap. When he wakes up, a couple of hours later, he feels his head is resting on someone’s lap and his hair is being caressed. He opens his eyes lazily and sees Cas, sitting on his side of the bed reading.

“Hello, sleeping beauty,” Castiel says with a smug smile. Dean can’t help grinning like an idiot. “How was your nap?”

“Good.” He snuggles his head on Cas’ lap and sighs happily. One of his hands comes to rest on the top of Cas’ thigh and he closes his eyes. “For how long have you been here being a creeper?”

“I don’t know. Twelve chapters.” Dean opens an eye and looks at the book Cas is reading; _The Catcher in the Rye_. “Are you going to fall asleep again?” He looks away from the book to meet Dean’s eyes. His hand keeps moving gently on Dean’s hair.

Dean rubs his face and sighs. “Dunno. I’ve gotta make dinner.”

“We could order something.”

“Nah. I feel like cooking, y’know?” Every time they go on a hunt, they eat at a dinner or order something and Dean doesn’t like that. He likes junk food once in a while, but he prefers cooking his own food.

“Okay,” he says sweetly and smiling. There’s a small silence where the only sound that can be heard comes from their soft breathings. “Dean.”

“Yeah?”

“Tomorrow there’s a fair in Wichita where there’ll be a lot natural products and homemade things,” he begins to say a bit shyly. Dean looks at him with a curious look, noticing the slight blush in his boyfriend’s cheeks. “And Sam and I want to go. It would be nice if you joined us too.”

“You guys need a driver?” he asks teasingly.

Cas glares him. “If I wanted a driver I would have directly expressed it.”

“Geez, Cas, you’re such a bitter guy sometimes.” He smiles, but Cas’ glare intensifies. He pulls away from his lap, sitting on the bed, resting his back on the headboard. “That’s a three hour long drive,” he says with a grimace, rubbing his sleepy face.

“Yes, I know,” he says sighing, looking disappointed. “If you don’t want to come, you don’t have to.”

“Of course I want to go, what I don’t like it’s that the fair is in freaking Wichita.” He is still tired from the hunt. He sighs and looks at Cas’ baby blue eyes. “I’ll go, but I’m telling you we’re gonna have to wake up really early,” he says with his eyebrows arched. “I don’t wanna come back home after suppertime.”

Castiel smiles widely and he kisses Dean. “Thank you, Dean.”

“I can’t believe I’m going to an eco-fair.”

He chuckles. “You are going to like it. I’m sure they even have pies.”

“But I bet they aren’t as tasty as mines.”

Castiel laughs and Dean has to kiss him. He loves kissing him when he smiles and he laughs, he loves kissing him all the time, but he has devotion for kissing him when he is really happy.

“You better not linger tomorrow in bed,” Dean warms with an obvious face.

“Then, you better bring me three cups of coffee to bed.”

“Three?” he asks laughing. Cas smiles at him and nods. “I’ll drag you to the kitchen one way or another.”

The ex-angel puts the book aside and he dedicates Dean a challenging look. “Oh, really?” he asks cockily. He leans closer, only leaving a couple of inches in between their faces. He smiles smugly and looks at Dean’s green eyes. Before Dean can say or do anything, Cas throws onto him and ends up pining him down to bed, holding his wrists tightly. “How are you going to do such thing?”

“Cas, we both know you won’t be this awake tomorrow morning. It’s impossible you can pin me down like this.”

Castiel laughs brightly; those cute crinkles in the corner of his eyes appearing. He looks so fucking beautiful when he is happy. It leaves Dean grinning, happiness blooming into his chest, spreading through all his body.

“Well, you are right,” Castiel says after laughing. “But I’m good at keeping you in bed with me.”

“But that’s because I don’t even fight against it.” He might pretend that he is a bit pissed off at staying in bed for longer than he wants to, but if he is with Cas and they are cuddling, Dean hasn’t got any complaint. “I like it, you know it.” He smirks and Castiel makes a pretty, gummy grin. “So,” he starts to say and he looks at his wrists, still trapped by Cas’ hands. “Are you gonna free me or not? ‘Cause I’ve gotta make dinner.”

Cas leans closer, rubbing his body against Dean’s. There are a lot of clothes in between them, but it still feels quite arousing. His boyfriend grins mischievously. “Only with one condition.”

Dean arches his eyebrow, feeling intrigued. “What condition?”

“I’ll free you if you give me a breathless kiss.”

Dean grins widely, appearing on the corner of his eyes some crinkles of his own. Cas mirrors his grin as well. The hunter bites his lip playfully. “Just that?”

“Just that.”

“Then, I’ll be happy to do it.”

He leans and he kisses Cas breathlessly.

 

_____

 

The alarm Dean set before he went to bed starts to sound and he grunts. He grabs his phone and turns it off and he switches on the lamp. The light hurts his eyes, which haven’t been already adjusted to the sudden light. After rubbing them, he looks at Cas; he has his face buried in the crook of Dean’s neck and he is fisting his t-shirt with a tight and firm grip.

“Cas,” Dean begins to say. He shakes his boyfriend’s shoulder, trying to wake him up. He knows Cas is awake, there is no way he hasn’t heard the loud alarm. “We’ve gotta wake up.”

“No,” Castiel mumbles. He throws his leg onto Dean’s, locking him in between his limbs.

Of course that Cas was going to try to keep him in bed. Dean doesn’t know why he is surprised. He rolls his eyes and sighs, almost groaning. “Cas—”

“It’s too early,” he protests being grumpy and cute at the same time.

Dean sighs exasperated again and he rubs his face. “Why do you have to make it so difficult?”

The freaking bastard smiles, clearly proud about managing to keep Dean in bed with him. He even kisses Dean’s neck. “Let us stay for one more hour.” He nuzzles his freckles neck and pulls closer to Dean.

“No. It’s a fucking three hour long drive, Cas. We’re gonna spend almost the whole day in Wichita. The longer we stay in bed, the later we’ll come back home.” He starts to free himself from Cas, who grunts unpleased and tries to keep him in bed. Cas is fucking strong, but when he is still sleepy, his strength isn’t the same, which now it’s something Dean is really grateful for and uses as leverage. He would like to stay in bed with Cas, cuddling and holding each other, but they have a long drive ahead and Dean doesn’t want to delay their leaving.

“Dean—” He pouts and looks at the hunter with a sad frown, worry slipping into his eyes.

“I’m gonna make you coffee and bring it to you, okay?” he says with a tiny, soothing smile. He kneels on the bed and he starts to caress Cas’ messy dark hair, which makes him purr. “And we need to take a shower.”

“Together?”

Dean smiles. “Yeah, together. I don’t trust leaving you in the shower alone being this sleepy. You might slip and break a leg or anything worse.” It makes Castiel smile. “The things I do for you...” He sighs and kisses Cas’ forehead. He sees that Cas is blushed and smiling cutely. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay.”

Dean leaves the room and walks towards the kitchen to get ready some coffee for Cas. He will take some after the shower. He isn’t too sleepy; he might have appreciated having a few more couple of hours to sleep, but his hunter and homeless life consisted on sleeping for only four hours and his body sometimes still remembers that routine, which makes it quite easy to wake up this early. Cas, on the other hand, has never had the need of sleep until he became human; that’s why he is such a lazy ass in the morning.

He can’t help smiling at that thought. An ex-angel of the lord is right now in bed, not wanting to wake up while Dean is making him coffee. Things have changed a lot since they first met. And it changed for better.

 

_____

 

The sun shines bright in the sky and the temperature in the Impala is hot, that’s why the windows from the front seat are down. The soft breeze caresses the three of them. Sam has to get some of his hair behind his ears because it keeps getting in his eyes, making Dean and Cas smile. The ex-angel looks pleased in the backseat; he looks through the window most of the time, and every time the breeze caresses his skin, he smiles. And Dean feels relaxed as he drives. He rests his arm on the window, feeling how the hot sun warms his skin, trying to tan it.

June has begun so it’s almost summer. Dean is only wearing his AC/DC t-shirt while his brother and his boyfriend are also wearing shirts, although both of them have their sleeves rolled up. The older Winchester could have worn one too, but he wants to feel the air and the sun on his skin.

Once they arrive to Wichita, Sam indicates where Dean must drive to. They find the fair easily and Dean parks the Impala under a tall tree that gives a considerable shadow. He doesn’t know for how long they will be here, but Dean doesn’t want to leave his baby under a hot sun, because the moment they get back to the Impala, it will be burning and the air will feel thick and suffocating.

They step out of the car and Sam and Cas are almost running towards the crowded fair. He can’t help smiling at them. He walks at his own rhythm, watching how his little brother and his boyfriend are fascinated by everything they see. This place might not be something Dean is passionate about, but seeing the two people he most cares about being like this, makes it ten thousand times better.

He catches Sam and Cas looking at some vegetables with bright colors. Even Dean has to admit that they look tasty. “The first stand you had to see was the vegetable one, huh?” Dean says teasingly.

“Just to mess with you,” Sam says grinning. He is holding a tomato and he approaches it to Dean’s nose. “Dean, smell it. It smells better than the ones in the supermarket.”

His brother is right; this tomato smells like tomato, not like that surrogate tomato smell from the ones they buy in the supermarket. “Yeah, it does.”

His little brother ends up buying two kilos of tomatoes and different kinds of lettuces, among many other vegetables. Dean grabs the plastic bags and he offers himself to bring them to the car. The Impala is chilly compared with the high temperature outside, which means that the vegetables his brother bought won’t get spoiled.

Dean gets back to the fair. Sam and Cas have moved, but he can’t see Cas. He can see Sam, because he is the tallest person there, which makes it extremely easy to find him. He walks towards him and he finds him looking at a natural homemade peanut butter stand. There are a lot of people there and all of them seem really pleased when the young seller gives them a bit of peanut butter to taste.

Sam is licking his lips when Dean stands next to him. The young seller offers him some and Dean takes it. The moment he tastes it, he understands why everyone looks so happy; it tastes freaking delicious.

“You better buy three jars of these,” Dean says to his brother who laughs brightly.

“Yeah, I’ve already got that in mind,” he says smiling. “Hey, they even have natural peach and strawberry jams.” He points at some of the crystal jars placed behind the peanut butter ones. “Do you think you can use it for some dessert?”

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to do a few things, but making jams it’s a hard work.” He usually makes pies, but Charlie bought him a book with different dessert recipes and all of them look really good. And he knows that his brother and boyfriend are willing to try some of those recipes. “Buy some of those too.” Sam smiles and nods. “Do you know where Cas is?”

He makes a thoughtful hum and he looks around. “No, I don’t. He said he was gonna take a look around.”

“Okay, well, I’m gonna see if I can find him.”

Sam nods and Dean walks away. The fair is really crowded, but it isn’t impossible to walk. Sometimes Dean has to move away to let someone pass, but it isn’t frequent. He looks at every stand he passes by, searching for Cas. It takes him a couple of them to finally see Cas a few stands beyond where he stands.

His boyfriend is at a honey stand and he is talking to an old lady. Cas is smiling widely and listening carefully to what she is saying. Dean can’t hear what they are talking about, but Cas is smiling widely and when he gets to speak, he looks so pleased and happy.

Dean finds himself grinning at Cas, watching how happy he is, how he talks enthusiastically about something that might be related with bees or honey. He looks beautiful. The sun paints his skin in a gorgeous, tanned way, his eyes shine brightly and they are too fucking blue, he looks colorful and so human, his hair is a pretty dark mess that goes in every possible direction and his cheeks have a lovely shade of pink, making his grin look even lovelier. Dean loves him. He loves him so much.

He blinks perplexed at that thought. He loves Cas. He has known it for years, but he has never thought about the word ‘love’. It was a forbidden word, and here he is now, looking at Cas and thinking how much he loves him. Dean’s grin gets wider. He loves Cas. He loves him so damn much.

Cas pays for something and the old lady gives him a plastic bag with whatever he bought. He smiles at her and he turns around, spotting Dean. Cas grins widely and those cute crinkles around the corner of his eyes appear when his gaze meets Dean’s. He shines brightly whenever he sees Dean.

“Hey,” Cas says when he is in front of Dean, only leaving a couple of inches in between them.

“Hey,” Dean greets, still grinning happily, beaming.

“I bought some honey,” he begins to say with a shy smile. He lifts the plastic bag he is holding on his left hand. “I like honey and I thought that maybe you could use some for one of those recipes from that book Charlie bought you.” He shrugs casually, looking adorable.

“Yeah,” he says grinning, looking at the gorgeous ocean of Castiel’s eyes.

Cas squints his eyes. “Why are you grinning like that?”

Dean can’t help chuckling. “Because I—” But he can’t say love out loud. It’s still stuck in his throat. “I— I—” He tries but he can’t. What’s wrong with him? He loves Cas, he loves him so fucking much and yet, he can’t say it out loud.

“You L-word me?” Cas says with a sweet voice. He is grinning widely and he looks even more beautiful.

Dean sighs relieved and rests his forehead on Cas’, looking into those blue eyes. “I L-word you so much.”

“I L-word you so much too, Dean.”

Dean cups his face and kisses Cas, telling him with that kiss what he can’t put into words. He loves him, he loves him more than anything in this world, and he wants him to know it. He might not be able to pronounce the word ‘love’, but he can say it with a kiss.

Somebody gasps surprised and even disgusted, but Dean doesn’t give a shit; he loves Cas and anyone who thinks that this is wrong, that loving a man with all his heart is a sin and wrong, can fuck off. Dean needs to tell Cas with this kiss that he loves him; he doesn’t care about the people that are watching them, and Cas doesn’t care either; he is kissing Dean back with all the love he has for him, pressing his fingers on his freckled bicep, pulling him closer, not wanting to let this end.

When they pull away, Cas is really blushed and grinning. “Wow,” he says happily. “That was—” He sighs and smiles.

“Yeah,” Dean says chuckling. He holds Cas’ hand and his boyfriend immediately squeezes his in a soothing way when their fingers are intertwined. “I’ve seen a stand with tasty fruits,” he begins to say as they start to walk. “We could buy some strawberries, cherries and watermelon. What do you think?”

“Dean Winchester is going to buy fruit, really?” he sasses grinning.

“Hey, I like fruit!”

“Especially if they are in a pie.”

“That’s a plus,” he says with a guilty pout. Cas laughs brightly and it warms Dean’s heart. “But I like fruit, you know it. Now it’s the time where the best fruit comes.”

“That’s what I’ve heard,” he says nodding. They are in front of the stand Dean saw before, when he was looking for Cas. “I haven’t tasted watermelon before.”

“You haven’t?” he asks surprised. Castiel shakes his head. “Then, we’re gonna buy one!” he exclaims happily. Cas looks at him smiling. “I think you’re gonna like it, although you’re gonna hate the damn pips.”

“But we’ll buy strawberries and cherries too, right?” His eyes dart to those fruits he has mentioned, which look really tasty and good.

Dean smiles and steals a brief kiss from his lips. “Yeah, Cas.”

 

_____

 

“Thank goodness you bought a lot of strawberries,” Sam says from the backseat as he hands Cas a bunch of strawberries.

Cas is now on the front seat, next to Dean. Whenever the three of Dean have to go somewhere, Sam is the shotgun first and then is Cas’ turn, unless someone of them wants to sleep in the backseat and cedes his shotgun turn.

“Because I knew we were gonna eat some of them during the way back home,” Dean says chuckling. He knew that his brother was going to be tempted by them and he wasn’t going to resist them. And that’s what happened. “They smelled too good that we were gonna surrender to them. And I knew the first one was gonna be you, Sammy.”

“We didn’t last too much longer,” Castiel says laughing. He hands Dean one and Dean thanks him with a wink. He feels the juice soaking his tongue the moment he bites it. It is sweet and a bit acid; simply perfect.

“Yeah, you two immediately agreed with the idea of eating them!” Sam says with an obvious face.

“It was peer pressure,” Dean says with an innocent pout and Cas arches his brow.

“My ass that it was peer pressure!” The three of them laugh happily.

Dean can’t believe this is his life. He never pictured coming back from a fair with his brother and with his boyfriend and eating strawberries. He thought that his life was always going to be only about hunting, that he was never going to get something like this. He is glad that he was wrong.

They keep eating a few more strawberries until Sam talks, “We’re gonna have an indigestion, we should stop.”

Dean grunts. His brother is right, but they taste so good that it is hard to stop. “Just one more.”

“Fine.” He gives Cas and Dean one strawberry to each.

“You better not eat anymore,” he says with a warning voice. “I can see you eying them.” He points at the rearview mirror, where he can see his brother. Cas makes a cute smile and looks at Sam.

“I won’t, I promise.”

There’s a comfortable silence in between them after that. Dean stretches out his right arm and his fingers start caressing Cas’ nape, brushing his dark hair. The ex-angel smiles and gives him a cute and playful smile. Dean smirks widely. Cas’ smile turns into a grin and he approaches Dean, pressing their sides together and resting his head on his shoulder. Dean smiles contently and places his hand on Cas’ bicep.

“You better keep that as PG rated,” Sam teases with a smirk.

“Look at this, Sam,” Dean says showing his middle finger to him.

Sam chuckles and rolls his eyes. “As long as I don’t see anything and you don’t get as loud as you usually do, I’m fine.”

“What?” Castiel and Dean ask at the same time. Castiel looks at Dean confused and Dean looks at Cas smugly.

“You guys are really loud sometimes,” he begins to say casually but making a grimace. “Thankfully, Charlie got me some amazing headphones to listen to some music, just for when you two get extremely loud.”

“You can hear us?” Cas asks a bit shocked. Sam makes an affirmative hum. “Sorry for that.” Sam shrugs casually and pouts. “It’s Dean’s fault.”

Dean glares him and arches his brow. Cas is right now smirking. He is teasing him and that is a game two can play. “Yeah, but that’s ‘cause I can’t help sucking your—”

“Dean!” Sam exclaims a bit annoyed and even blushing a little. Cas and Dean start laughing. “You two are the worst.”

“You’ve got no idea, Sammy,” Dean says as he caresses Cas’ cheek. The ex-angel nuzzles his neck and presses a sweet kiss as he smiles happily. “Why didn’t you tell us you could hear us?” They’ve grown together and they spent their teenage years in small motel rooms with little privacy and they got used to hear things. At first it bothered them, but they kept some privacy and they got used to it.

“Because you two would’ve gotten even louder.”

“He’s right,” Castiel says with a wide smile, looking directly at Dean, who bursts into laughter; they would have been louder only to piss off Sam. “Still, sorry for that Sam.”

“Be thankful that Charlie knew exactly what to buy.”

 

_____

 

Dean drops onto the bed without taking off any of his clothes and he buries his face in the pillow. It was a great, fun day, but the drive left him pretty exhausted. Tomorrow, he isn’t going to wake up until midday or so, a decision that he knows will make Cas pretty happy.

“You don’t even take your boots off?” Castiel asks sassily.

“’m tired for that,” he mumbles against the pillow. He almost hears Cas rolling his eyes. “Freaking Wichita’s too fucking far.”

“I know.” The mattress moves behind his body when Cas sits down on the edge of the bed. Dean moves his face so he can see his boyfriend, who is taking off his boots. “But it was a wonderful day.”

“It was a fucking awesome day,” he rectifies with a smile that Cas mirrors. “But I’m freaking tired.” He rolls onto his back and looks at the ceiling. Suddenly, he feels how Cas starts to take off his boots and he smiles. “Thanks.”

Cas smiles and throws Dean’s boots in front of the wardrobe and they make a racketing sound. He takes off his socks too and he throws them to the basket where they leave the dirty clothes to bring them to the washing machine once they get up from bed. When Dean’s feet are freed, Cas looks at Dean’s eyes and makes a mysterious smile that hides nothing good and Dean knows what Cas is planning.

“No,” Dean says with a warning look. But Cas starts to tickle Dean’s feet and the hunter starts to squirm. “You son of a bitch!” He pulls his feet away from Cas’ hands, but the ex-angel is soon onto him and his hands start to tickle him everywhere. “Cas!” he giggles.

Dean manages to roll the two of them, pining Cas down and he starts to tickle him everywhere. His hands move restlessly and Cas giggles and squirms, he even shakes his legs and it is awesome.

They keep tickling each other for a while, giggling and rolling onto the bed, until Cas grabs Dean’s hands and their fingers intertwine. He leans to kiss him happily, making Dean moan.

“You’re a fucking teaser,” Dean says after kissing, smiling widely and happily.

“Guess I learnt it from you.” He presses a sweet kiss on the tip on Dean’s nose before he kisses his lips again.

“I’m a terrible bad influence.”

“No, you are not.”

Dean kisses him immediately. It is passionate and sweet, leaving them gasping for air. He looks at Cas’ blue eyes, letting himself sink in that ocean for the millionth time, and those eyes stare him back, like they always do. The hunter can’t help smiling as he thinks how deep in love he is with Cas.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments and the subscriptions :)
> 
> I will re-upload this when Christina can beta it ^^

“Does he always do that?” Sam asks to Dean.

Dean moves his eyes away from the yogurts to see what Sam’s is referring to. He can’t help smiling when he sees Cas staring with a frown and a serious face the cheese he has in his hands, putting all his concentration in it. “Yeah,” Dean says chuckling. “He takes picking the perfect cheese too seriously.”

It’s something that Dean found weird and very Cas when he first saw it. Now it’s something adorable. The best part is when some impatient client wants to grab a cheese from where Cas is standing to and they start to be impatient and grumpy and Dean has to tell them to leave his boyfriend pick the perfect damn cheese and leave him alone.

He looks at Cas again, a wide and gummy grin appearing on his lips. Cas might have become human, but he is still Cas, even if he gets sarcasm now and geek references and does a lot of human things that he never did before.

“It’s kind of cute, y’know?” Dean adds, not removing his big grin as he puts the yogurts inside the shopping cart. Sam chuckles and gives Dean a look that he knows too well. “What?” he asks arching his brow, knowing that his little brother wants to say something.

“Nothing,” Sam says, trying to pretend that he isn’t up to something.

“Sammy, spit it out.”

Sam sighs, but not in a bad way. He looks at Cas and then at Dean. “You’ve got that look.”

“What look?”

His little brother rolls his eyes, clearly exasperated. “That look that yells that you love him.”

Dean can’t help blushing and he rubs the back of his neck, nervously. “Yeah, I do, I really do.” He loves Cas, with all his heart, he has always loved him, despite of not being able to say out loud that damn word.

When Dean looks at Sam, he looks surprised. Sam has known about his feelings for Cas. The whole damn world, purgatory, Hell and Heaven have known, but it must be surprising for Sam to hear him recognize that he loves Cas. Not that he hasn’t heard Dean saying ‘I L-word you, Cas’, but there’s something different about it this time. And he is sure that Sam might know what. After all, his brother has been smarter than him when it has come to feelings.

“Have you told him that word or you keep telling him ‘L-word’?” Sam asks curious.

Dean sighs and looks at Cas, who has another cheese in his hands and he is examining it with precision. “I haven’t. I’ve tried, but that damn word never makes it out.”

“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be able to tell him one day.” He sounds sure and he squeezes his shoulder, making a comforting smile. “But he already knows, Dean. He doesn’t care if you say it out loud or not. Cas knows.”

“Yeah,” he whispers smiling. In that moment, Cas moves away and starts to walk towards where the Winchester brothers are, holding what must comply Cas’ standard for a perfect cheese. “That’s the perfect one, babe?”

Castiel squints his eyes, as if he was wondering if Dean was being sarcastic, but Dean isn’t being it, so he makes a tender smile to show him that, which makes Cas smile too. “Yes, it is,” he says putting the cheese in the cart.

“Good.” He takes a look at the shopping list. “Okay, let’s get to the bathroom stuff hall.”

As the three of them walk through the supermarket, Dean thinks about how nice it feels to shop with his boyfriend and his brother. Doing simple things like this never felt this good. He finds pleasure in the littlest things. Dean couldn’t have this luxury before.

Sam decided to accompany them to shop because he wanted his rabbit food and because he wanted to get a new shampoo that will help in something weird Dean doesn’t understand to his hair or some crap like that, Dean wasn’t paying too much attention to it to be honest. Also, Sam came because he likes going to the supermarket too. He didn’t say it, but Dean knows that his little brother enjoys the tiny sparkles of a normal life they sometimes get.

While Sam looks at the shampoo section, Dean starts to get toothpaste and deodorant. Cas grabs some soap and puts it in the cart, followed by Sam, who drops three shampoo bottles, earning him a questioning look from the couple.

“They’re on offer and I have too much hair,” Sam says casually.

Dean arches his eyebrows and makes a grimace. “You should start thinking about cutting your hair, Sammy.” His words earn him a bitch face from the tall Winchester that only make Dean smile. “We’d earn a lot of money on shampoo if you did.”

“Dean,” Cas says, making Dean turn his face to look at him. “Do we need lube and condoms?”

“Yeah.”

“Didn’t you guys buy all of that a month ago or so?” Sam asks with a curious face.

“We did. But we use a lot,” Cas says casually.

“You know what, Dean? We should earn a lot of money if you and Cas stopped having sex almost every day,” he mocks with a sassy smirk.

Dean glares him. “I know Sammy, but you don’t have any idea how hard is to resist Cas when he gets his di—”

“Don’t!” Sam yells disgusted, closing his eyes and making a gross face. “Gross!”

Dean laughs and Cas glares him. “You are terrible,” Cas says, trying to be serious, but he has a tiny smile drawn on his pretty lips, and it almost looks like pride. “You only say that kind of things to mess up with Sam.”

“And to presume about your big dick.”

“Dean!” Sam yells again, this time sounding more disgusted and Cas blushes immediately and kicks his foot. “I’m gonna have nightmares.”

Dean smirks and he looks at Cas, who is glaring him, and Dean’s smirk turns into a pout. “Don’t get mad at me, Cas.” He makes puppy eyes, hoping that Cas won’t stay like this too long.

Cas sighs and he looks at Sam. “You know what, Sam? We should buy more vegetables so Dean stops messing up with us.” He sounds really cocky and a bit pissed off, and to be honest, Dean finds it quite hot, even if he knows that he is screwed.

Sam makes a pleased grin. “And force him to eat them, right?” Sam asks mischievously.

Dean is pressing his lips into a thin line, glaring his brother and boyfriend. Castiel, meanwhile, has that cocky face of his “Right.”

“I’ll go for them,” he says before walking away really fast.

Dean turns his face to look at Cas, who is standing next to him, smirking. “You’re evil,” Dean murmurs.

“And you are a dick,” Castiel murmurs, challenging. “You should be glad I didn’t decide to deny you sex for a week.”

Dean arches his eyebrow, getting his hand on the small of his lover’s back, pulling him closer. “Would you last that long?”

“No, that’s why I chose the vegetables option.” He makes a cute smile and Dean bursts into laughter and kisses Cas, sweetly and happily. When they pull away, both of them have that tender look. “What?” he asks with a bright smile.

“You know what, Cas,” His smile gets bigger and he steals a kiss from those wonderful kissable lips that belong to the ex-angel. “I L-word you.”

“I love you too.”

Sam appears a few seconds after that with what Dean thinks it must be half of the vegetables from the supermarket.

 

_____

 

After taking a small nap after having lunch, Dean decides to play his guitar. He is getting better, but he knows he still has a lot to practice and lot to learn yet. He rips the strings, making a soft melody and he starts to improvise, trying to play something decent or that at least sounds good.

He can’t help chuckling when something doesn’t sound right. He likes playing the guitar, he has always liked it. If he didn’t have the life he had, Dean knows he would have tried to become a rock star. But if things would have been different, if he had a normal life, Cas wouldn’t have come into his life. He wouldn’t change meeting Cas for having a normal life.

His fingers start to play _Wonderwall_ , a song that he knows how to play quite good. He hums the lyrics, not wanting to sing them out loud because if he does it, he will mess up the notes and it will be a disaster. He plays it slower than it should be, but as long as it sounds right, he doesn’t care for the speed.

When he gets to the chorus part, Dean sings, “ _Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me,_ ” he also sings slower than it should, but this is the only part where he can sing and play at the same time, although he misses a note or two. “ _And after all, you are my Wonderwall._ ”

Dean knows that he hasn’t been alone for a while, that Cas has come before he started singing. He might have come to their bedroom for something, but he has stopped and he is leaning against the doorframe, watching and hearing Dean, but Dean hasn’t lifted his eyes from the guitar once, so Cas must think he hasn’t noticed his presence, but Dean has heard his footsteps and he can see his boots.

He keeps playing the song, humming the lyrics of the song again, looking at his hands, hoping that his fingers won’t fail and press the wrong string. He sings again the chorus when he gets to it, but this time, he lifts his face and looks at Cas, dedicating him a bright, pretty and big smile that the blue eyed-man mirrors.

“ _Because maybe, you’re gonna be the one that saves me,_ ” Dean sings, making Cas grin, showing those beautiful crinkles on the corner of his eyes. “ _And after all, my boyfriend is a creep._ ” The change of lyrics makes Castiel burst into laughter and Dean joins him.

“I didn’t want to be creepy, for the record,” Cas says with a sweet voice. “I came to the bedroom and I found you playing and I didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Dean chuckles. “Did you finish what you had to do in the greenhouse?”

Castiel nods and hums in affirmation. He walks towards the bed and sits on it, next to Dean. “Everything.” He looks at the guitar and strokes it gently, as if he was afraid of breaking it. “You are getting better at this.”

“Just practice.” He shrugs casually. “I didn’t do anything special.”

“You aren’t giving yourself enough credit,” he says with a lovely gaze. It makes Dean blush slightly. “You are really good at playing it, Dean. I find it quite difficult.”

“It’s not that difficult, Cas.” He chuckles. “Just coordination and a bit of music knowledge, that’s all.” He shrugs again and looks at Cas, whose eyes are on the guitar and his fingers want to reach the strings, but he is shy about it. “Do you want me to teach you how to play it?” Dean suggests with a happy smile.

Castiel looks at him, not fully believing what Dean has offered. “Really? I don’t want to break it or—”

“Cas, you aren’t gonna break it unless you go all Jimi Hendrix,” he jokes, but Cas gives him a confused look accompanied with that cute tilt of head to his side. “Just— never mind.” He sighs but smiles. “Here,” he says handing him the guitar. Cas looks at it and then at Dean, as if he was asking for permission, but he grabs the guitar and holds it. “Okay. Now let me sit behind you.” He drags his ass on the bed until he is sitting behind Cas, pressing his chest against his back and he rests his chin on Cas’ shoulder, his hands coming to grab Cas’ to guide him.

“Is this necessary or you want to be pressed against me?” Castiel asks sassily.

“Both things,” he says smirking before pressing a kiss on Cas’ cheek. “You sounded as if you didn’t like this.” He presses himself tighter against the solid body of Cas, rubbing his nose on Cas’ sharp jawline, feeling his stubble and the wonderful warmth of his body.

Castiel chuckles. “I do like it, you know it.” He turns his face to press a brief kiss on Dean’s lips, his blue eyes meeting Dean’s ones. “But I think this would distract me rather than help me.” Dean dedicates him a playful grin and he kisses him tenderly, softly and gently, making Cas hum and moan into it. “You are definitely making it harder,” he protests when they pull away. Dean is about make a pun, but Castiel gives him a warning look. “No, I didn’t mean that.”

Dean laughs. “Yeah, of course you—” He simply laughs instead of completing what he wanted to say. “Okay, let’s get down to business, shall we?” His hands are on Castiel’s, approaching them to the strings and Dean begins his lesson.

He teaches Cas about the notes each string belong to and where he has to press his fingers to obtain the other ones; for that, he makes Cas press his fingers on the fingerboard and to rip the string on the sound hole. Every time Cas makes a note, he smiles widely and satisfied.

They practice together. The more time they spend, the more Dean lets Cas do it on his own, only grabbing his hands if he misses somethimg, but Cas is a fast learner. Soon, he is playing _Smoke on the Water_ without any trouble at all. It is a simple melody, but Cas is so happy about managing to play it.

Dean teaches him another melody he doesn’t know the name of, but it is a soft one that he has heard thousands of times. Cas enjoys playing it, although he misses the right notes a couple of times and he ends up laughing with Dean.

“I’m terrible at this,” Cas says in between laughs.

“No, you’re not. It’s your first time doing this and you’re doing a pretty good job,” Dean says, really proud of Cas. He kisses his cheek and decides to place his hands above Cas, playing the melody together, humming it under his breath.

As they play together, Cas keeps grinning, looking beautiful and Dean can’t help mirroring it, because he is so damn happy right now. He presses himself closer to Cas, as a way to make sure that he isn’t dreaming or dead and this is his personal heaven. But the sound of Cas’ laugh makes him realize that this is real, that this isn’t a dream nor Heaven.

“This is really fun,” Castiel says when they finish playing the melody, turning his face to meet Dean’s eyes.

“Yeah, right?” Cas’ answer is a nod and brief kiss. “I’m glad you liked it. And I’m so proud of how good you’re at this.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You are overrating me.”

“You know I’m not, Cas.” He smiles and kisses him again. When they pull away, Dean takes a look at the alarm clock and he sighs. “I should better get to the kitchen and start making dinner.” He begins to move away from Cas in order to stand up.

“Isn’t it a bit too early for that?” he asks looking at the alarm clock before looking at Dean with a curious, confused frown.

“I’m gonna do something that’s gonna take me a little longer than usually,” he says with a playful, mysterious grin. He had the idea for what he is going to make for dinner tonight for a while, but neither Cas nor Sam have any idea about it.

“What are you going to cook?” He stands up and walks the small space in between them, leaving the guitar on the bed.

“It’s a surprise.” His answers makes Cas press his lips in a thin line, wanting to know what Dean is going to cook but not wanting to spoil the surprise. It’s a cute face and Dean has to kiss him. “But I’m sure you’ll like it.”

“That’s not difficult, I love everything you cook.”

Dean laughs again. It’s true; Cas loves everything he cooks. “Aren’t you gonna play with it while I cook dinner?” he asks pointing the guitar.

“No. I think I’m going to play some Mario Kart with Sam, if he wants to.”

“Okay,” Dean says as he picks the guitar and places it on its place. “Kick his ass for me, babe.” He leans and kisses Cas, cupping the back of his neck. It’s a deep and wet kiss that makes Cas go weak on his knees and fist the back of Dean’s shirt. It leaves both of them grasping for air and quite blushed.

Dean smiles and walks away from the bedroom, not before winking his eye at Cas, which earns him a beautiful smile.

 

***

 

“Since when did you get this good at Mario Kart?” Sam asks after losing for the fourth consecutive time.

Castiel looks at Sam with a wide grin, seeing how the younger Winchester is confused but surprised, and even a bit frustrated. “Since Charlie taught me.”

“Of course.” He chuckles. “Hey, did I tell you that she is about to move into the bunker?”

“Is she?” he asks excited.

Castiel adores Charlie. He has adored her since the first time they met. She was so happy and excited about meeting him, a thing that Cas barely saw during those years; Dean had the Mark and he seemed glad to see him, but not like he used to before he got that curse in his arm and Sam was really worried about his brother and he was glad to see Cas because he could help, but Charlie was extremely happy and she pulled him into a hug and Castiel fell a love and a care that he had barely felt during that terrible year. Her death destroyed and hurt him, but luckily, he managed to bring her back to life a few months later.

“Yeah, she is,” Sam says happily. “She’s looking for a job that allows her working from home, from here. And also she wants to be back in the hunting world completely.”

“I don’t think Dean is going to like that.” He sighs and makes a sad face.

Dean knows that Charlie is strong and a great hunter, but he can’t forget her bloody death. Since she came back to life, Charlie hasn’t been in the hunting business. She has hunted a couple of ghosts and some other not too dangerous monsters, but she hasn’t been one hundred percent into it. She wanted to take a rest from it, after Oz and all the stuff to cure Dean from the Mark of Cain, she barely had a normal life and she wanted to take a break from everything so one day she could be back in to the hunting world. All of them were glad about it, and she helped them against the Darkness, encoding what they needed to know in order to defeat Amara. Still, Dean has been very protective with her, because he doesn’t want to see her die again; no one of them wants to.

“She’ll kick Dean’s ass if he gets too overprotective,” Sam comments with a grimace. “You know Charlie is tough, and I worry about her too, I can’t erase that picture of her in that motel bathroom and—” he takes a deep breath. Castiel can see how Sam’s hands shake with the memory. “But now, we only have regular monsters, and the big, dangerous things are locked up, so she’ll be good.”

“She will.” He smiles comfortingly. He knows that Charlie is strong and she won’t have any problem. Castiel is afraid of losing her; she is one of his best friends, and now, if something bad happens to her, he can’t do much. “Does Dean know it?”

“Yeah, she called us while you were in the greenhouse and she told us about it. Dean’s really happy about it. She will let us know the date when she’s moving in.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

They play another game and Sam loses again, making a frustrated sound that makes Castiel chuckle. His long hours playing this game with Charlie have been worth it. Sam insists on playing another game and this time, he is the one who wins, because someone throws at Cas that damn blue shell. If it wasn’t for that, he would have won.

“You won because of that blue shell,” Castiel says serious.

Sam chuckles. “You sound like Dean when he loses.”

Castiel narrows his eyes and makes a grimace. “I don’t. Dean gets quite childish and he starts to make excuses about everything. I only pointed what was obvious.”

“I was just teasing you, Cas. Nobody of us sounds like Dean.” He grins. Castiel is about to tell him something, but suddenly, the wonderful smell of the kitchen gets in the living room. “What’s that glorious smell?”

It smells tasty and wonderful, like everything Dean cooks. His boyfriend is extraordinary in the kitchen. Actually, he is extraordinary in everything, in Castiel’s opinion. “I don’t know, but it smells really good.”

“He didn’t tell you what he was gonna cook?”

“No, he said it was a surprise.” The smell intensifies and it makes Cas’ mouth water. He doesn’t identify the smell, but he knows the food that it belongs to must taste amazing. He hums pleased as the nice smell gets in his nose.

“How about if we go to the kitchen and try to take a look?” Sam suggests with a naughty smile, as if he was a little kid.

“He is going to kick us out of the kitchen the moment he spots us.”

“Yeah, but we can try.”

Castiel chuckles and he stands up. “Okay.” He knows that Dean isn’t going to let them stay in the kitchen for more than five seconds the moments he sees them.

Sam stands up and the two of them walk towards the kitchen, following the wonderful smell that remains in the hall. The closer they get to the kitchen, the stronger the smell gets, and Castiel is sure that Sam’s mouth must be watering as much as his and his stomach must be craving for that secret surprise Dean is making.

They remain next to the doorstep, looking at the kitchen. Dean is showing his back to them, in front of the cooker, humming to himself a song that Cas can’t recognize because the sound of something being fried on a pan is louder. He is too absorbed on looking at Dean that he startles when Sam pats his shoulder and points him the oven. The wonderful smell clearly comes from it, but from where they are standing, they can’t see what it is in there.

Dean turns around and gives them his deadliest glare, crossing his arms. “Do I have to say it?” Dean asks quite pissed off.

“Get out, right?” Sam says with a guilty smile.

Dean nods. “Damn right.”

“What are you cooking?” Castiel asks, ignoring the fact that if he doesn’t get out, Dean is going to be really pissed off. “It smells wonderful.”

“You’ll see in five minutes.” He doesn’t sound as pissed off as before, but he is really serious. “Now, get out. Don’t make me kick your asses.”

Castiel arches a brow. “Would you?” He doesn’t miss the tiny shocked look Sam gives him because of his challenging teasing. Dean can get mad at a few things, but not too much, but when it is something related with the kitchen, both Sam and Cas know not to piss him off.

Instead of getting angry, Dean smirks. Although there is teasing, there’s also a warning. “Do you really want to find out?”

“Okay, enough with the sexual innuendo,” Sam says, sounding quite exasperated. “Let’s play another game while Dean cooks, Cas.” Before Sam drags him out of the kitchen, Castiel dedicates Dean a pretty smile that makes the green eyed man grin and shake his head. “You two are unbelievable,” Sam says chuckling as they walk through the hall. “You are perfect for each other.”

Castiel blushes and smiles, which makes Sam grin widely. “I like to think so,” Castiel says shyly.

“You like to think so?” He lets out a soft chuckle. “Cas, you two are perfect together. You know it, he knows it, everyone knows it. It’s not difficult to see.” He drops onto the couch and Castiel sits down on it, grabbing the controller, feeling how his blush extents to his neck. “You guys are happy and in love. That’s what I call perfect.”

“Me too.” He smiles timidly.

They play three games and in all of them Castiel wins. Dean calls them from the kitchen, so Castiel and Sam turn off the console and they almost run towards the kitchen. The moment they step into it, both of them stop and look at the table where there are vegetables in tempura and something made of puff pastry that smells delicious. Dean is already sat on a chair and he is smirking at the two of them.

“Weren’t you two willing to eat? Why are you still standing there?” Dean asks really sassily. Castiel and Sam sit down, admiring the food. Castiel is about to grab that puff pastry but Dean grabs his wrist softly. “You’re gonna burn your hand, babe” he says sweetly and he pricks one of those cubic puff pastries and gives it to him. “Look out, I just got them out from the oven.”

Castiel nods and he bites it carefully. The moment he does it, he feels that it is filled with bacon and cheese and it tastes so damn good that he can’t suppress a loud moan, which makes Dean grin happily while Sam arches his eyebrow, curious.

“Dean, this is extraordinarily delicious,” Castiel says impressed, almost moaning.

“I’m gonna taste it,” Sam says eagerly and he gets one in his mouth, making another pleased sound of his own. “Wow. Dean, wow.”

“Good, huh?” Dean asks with a cocky, proud grin and lifting his head.

“You better do these again,” he says with his mouth full. Dean and Castiel laugh. Before he finishes eating the puff pastry filled with bacon and cheese, Sam grabs a zucchini in tempura and he makes the same sound he did before. “And you better do these again too.”

Cas decides to try an eggplant in tempura and again, he makes a tiny moan. “I agree with him.”

Dean laughs, brightly and happily, echoing in the walls of the kitchen, his happiness being contagious. “I’m glad you guys like it.” His smile is gorgeous and Castiel can’t resist kissing his cheek, blush immediately appearing on his freckled face.

“It’s perfect, Dean.”

Green eyes meet his blue ones, and Castiel can see how touched and content Dean is. Dean’s smile gets bigger and more tender as his right hand searches for Castiel’s left one. His palm rests on the back of Castiel’s hands, their fingers lacing together as Dean gives him a soft squeeze and his freckled thumb caresses the side of Cas’ hand.

Dean might haven’t said the word ‘love’, but he says it every time he looks at Castiel and every time he does simple things like this or when they are making love. His voice might not work out to let out that word, but Dean screams it with everything else he has.

They break eye contact when they hear the sound Sam’s phone makes when it takes a picture. Dean blushes and Castiel smiles as widely as Sam does. Dean even covers his face, feeling really shy and Castiel calms him by pressing sweet little kisses on his face as he cups the back of his neck, making Dean giggle.

Sam was telling the truth; they are in love and happy. And that’s perfect.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the last chapter.
> 
> Christina couldn't beta this chapter, but once she does I'll re-upload it.

The Rolling Stones sound in the bedroom while Dean sweeps it. His mobile phone is placed on the table, playing _Doom and Gloom_. It only takes him five seconds to start dancing along the rhythm, using the broom as a guitar or a microphone, that depends on which part of the song plays. He moves his hips effusively, pretending to be a younger version of Mick Jagger.

“ _I had a dream last night, I was piloting a plane, and all the passengers were drunk and insane!_ ” Dean starts to sing loudly. He faces the bed, as if he had a big audience listening to him. “ _I crash landed in a Louisiana swamp, shot up a horde of zombies but I come out on top. What’s it all about? Guess it just reflects my mood._ ” He takes a few steps, swinging as he dances, shaking his head. “ _Sitting in the dirt, feeling kind of hurt, all I hear is doom and gloom._ ” With the broomstick, he pretends to play the riff Keith Richards does. “ _All is darkness, in my room. And through the light your face I see. Baby take a chance, baby won’t you dance,_ ” he twirls as he sings and he sees Cas leaning on the doorstep, with his arms crossed and with a smug smile on his face. “With me,” Dean whispers and swallows, feeling how he blushes quickly and feels quite embarrassed. Cas arches a brow. “For how long have you been there?”

“Since the passengers were drunk,” Castiel confesses with a smirk. Dean places his hand on his face, covering it to hide his embarrassment and he hears Cas chuckling. “You’ve got really nice moves, Dean.”

“Shut up.” He grabs his mobile phone and stops the song. “You weren’t supposed to see that. That was— it was— I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“At least you were wearing clothes,” he sasses smirking. Naturally, Dean glares him, but it only makes Castiel’s grin get wider.

“I bet you’d adored seeing me dancing naked.”

The ex-angel blushes slightly and he makes a cute smile. “It would have been a good show.”

“You’re a dick.”

Castiel walks the distance that separates them and he places his arms around Dean’s neck. His smile is beautiful and it is impossible to pretend to be mad at him when he is smiling like that. “Sometimes,” he says before kissing Dean sweetly.

“Why are you here? I thought you were doing stuff in the greenhouse.”

“I was. I came because I need more stickers to label plants,” he explains as he walks towards the desk and opens the drawer that contains what he is looking for. “But I got distracted with the rockstar I have as a boyfriend.”

Dean slaps Cas’ ass, which makes the ex-angel huff a laugh. “Idiot.” Before Cas can say anything back, Dean leans and gives him a breathtaking but sweet kiss. When they pull away, both of them are grinning. “Hey,” Dean begins to say. “Do you want to go on a date tonight? To a regular diner, not to an expensive restaurant.” He places his hands on Cas’ hip, caressing it soothingly with his thumbs. “Just you and me eating some nice burgers.”

“I would love that,” he says smiling. He kisses Dean fondly and the hunter makes tiny little happy moans. “How is that you want to go on a date tonight?”

“Dunno.” He shrugs casually. He brushes Cas’ hair, watching the motion of his fingers. “Just want to go out and have dinner with you.” He feels like it. The last time they went out on a date was when they went to that Italian restaurant. It’s been months since that. That happened in the middle January and they are in the second week of June. Time has flown away since that argument they had that lead them to where they are now.

Dean is happy, really happy, and Castiel is it too. They have had a few arguments, but nothing too important. Relationships aren’t perfect, they come with good and bad things, but he and Cas have been through hell and back before they became a couple that this thing they have built is great. It isn’t perfect, but it feels like it. They are happy and they love each other; even if Dean hasn’t said it out loud yet, but Cas knows it.

“What are you thinking?” Castiel asks curious. “That’s your thinking face.”

Dean chuckles. “Nothing important.”

The ex-angel arches a brow, giving him that bullshit look of his. “Dean.”

“It’s cheesy, so I won’t say it.” He makes a mischievous and guilty smile.

Castiel rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Assbutt.”

The hunter smiles and kisses him, feeling both of their smiles. It’s not perfect, it has never been perfect in between them, but it kind of feels like it. This is more than Dean has ever expected to get in his life. He is with a man he loves and who loves him back, they live together and they both know their darker and lighter parts and yet, they are still together.

“I L-word you, Cas.” He looks into his baby blues eyes, letting him know that even if he can’t say the word ‘love’ out loud, his eyes can say it.

“I L-word you too, Dean.” He presses a brief kiss on his lips. “That was the cheesy thing you were thinking about?”

“One of them.”

Castiel chuckles and he starts to pull away. “I’m going to go back to the greenhouse; I still have a lot of work to do.”

“Okay, but before you leave,” he begins to say as he grabs Cas’ hands, pulling him closer, pressing their chests together. He kisses Cas softly and tenderly, feeling how his boyfriend moans and his knees tremble slightly. It is a long kiss and when they pull away, their pupils are blown out. “You needed an awesome farewell.” He smirks cockily.

Cas slaps his forearm and Dean laughs loudly. “You cocky bastard.”

Dean hums pleased. “So awesome when you swear.” He nibbles his lower lip playfully and Cas blushes quickly. “And so cute when you blush.”

“Why am I even dating you, Dean Winchester?” he asks laughing.

“Because I’m a hot and irresistible piece of ass, babe.” He winks and throws him a kiss.

“Be thankful that I don’t throw you any of those books to your head because I love you,” he says as he points with his head the bookcase. He sounds so serious that Dean knows that he would definitely do it if their situation was different. It makes Dean grin. “Why are you grinning so widely?” he asks frowning and tilting his head to one side.

“Because you’re awesome.”

His words only make Castiel’s frown deepen. “I don’t understand where’s the awesomeness of threatening you to throw you a book.”

Dean chuckles and he looks down at his feet, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. It isn’t something easy to explain. Cas is awesome because he is Cas. All the things that make his boyfriend who he is are awesome. And Dean loves him a lot.

“Hey,” Castiel begins to say, taking a few steps closer. His hands rest on Dean’s chest, their warmth getting through the t-shirt Dean is wearing. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am,” Dean answers with an honest smile. “I’m just—” He sighs happily. He is just in love, that’s what he should say, but instead, he looks at Cas, letting himself sink in his sapphire eyes. “I’m just really happy for being with you. Fucking happy, Cas. You’ve got no idea how much.”

Castiel doesn’t say anything; he simply looks at Dean and makes a tiny smile that it is full of fondness. He seems speechless, as if he was trying to find the proper words, but he seems to give up, because he cups Dean’s face and kisses him. It is one of those kisses full of the love he feels for the hunter, one of those kisses where Dean reciprocates the feeling.

“I’m glad to hear that, Dean,” Castiel says, almost whispering, as if it was a secret in between them, even though they are alone in their bedroom. “And I’m also really happy for being with you.”

The hunter smiles and kisses Cas again, this time briefly. He caresses the strong biceps of the ex-angel as they look at each other. “Didn’t you have a lot of work to do in the greenhouse?” he asks after a small silence.

“Yes, but someone has been distracting me in a good way.”

Both of them chuckle. Dean pulls away. “Go before we start distracting each other again.”

“What about my farewell kiss?” Cas asks as he approaches Dean, pressing their noses together.

“I thought you didn’t like them.” He can’t help smirking at his own teasing.

“Don’t be stupid. I love everything that involves kissing you or being with you.”

Naturally, Dean kisses him immediately.

 

_____

 

“I can’t believe you kicked me out of our bedroom!” Dean exclaims chuckling.

After taking a quick shower and getting dressed for tonight’s date, Cas came to the bedroom, freshly from the shower, wearing his robe and he told Dean to get out because he wanted to get dressed and he wanted to surprise Dean. The hunter thought he was joking, but Cas pushed him away from the bedroom and closed the door. Now Dean is in front of their bedroom’s door, talking to Cas.

“You do know you don’t have to impress me, right?” Dean says grinning. Cas doesn’t have to wear anything nice, but he is intrigued about what his boyfriend is going to wear.

“Yes, Dean, I know,” Cas says. Despite of having the door closed, his voice can be heard lower than usually but perfectly.

“Look at you dressing pretty for me,” he says with a high pitched voice that sounds a bit mocking.

“You did the same.”

Dean looks at his clothes and smiles. It is true; he is wearing his red plaid shirt, a black t-shirt and some black jeans that adjust to his hips and legs perfectly; it is an outfit that Dean knows that Cas loves too much. It is a casual look, but Dean wanted to dress with something he knows his boyfriend loves.

“You’ve got me intrigued, Cas,” Dean says, leaning his back on the door. “Give me a hint!”

“Can’t you wait a few more minutes?” Castiel asks huffing a laugh.

“Nope. C’mon, just give me a tiny hint.”

“I’m wearing clothes.”

“No fucking way,” he sasses. He hears Cas laughing in that beautiful way of his. “I thought you were gonna wear toilet paper.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head. “You’re a fucking ass sometimes.”

The door opens and Dean almost overbalances. He turns around to look at Cas and he opens his eyes widely, looking up and down the ex-angel, admiring how fucking great he looks. He is wearing black jeans, one of Dean’s old, faded Led Zeppelin’s t-shirts and a black synthetic leather jacket that he doesn’t know where he got from but it looks extremely good on him.

“So,” Castiel begins to say. “Do you like it?” Dean looks at his face, with his wide eye look and he cups Cas’ face to give him a fervent, breathless kiss. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he says surprised when they pull away.

“Where did you get this?” Dean asks touching the jacket. It fits him perfectly. It isn’t like his own jacket, that it almost reaches the end of his thighs; Cas’ jacket only goes to his waist.

Castiel blushes lightly. “Charlie and I were shopping and I saw this and I liked it and she encouraged me to buy it and told me that I should wear it in front of you one day.”

“Freaking Charlie,” Dean says laughing. “It looks fucking good on you.” He smirks and presses their chests together. His hands find the small of Cas’ back and he leans to kiss him again. “Badass and pretty, you’re every man’s dream.”

“I only care about one man’s dream.”

“Geez, you big, old sap, you gotta spoil my flirting, huh?”

“I still don’t understand why you keep flirting with me, we are already together.” He frowns confused and makes a thoughtful pout.

Dean grins. “I like flirting with you,” he starts to say, pressing their hips together. “I like telling you how awesome and pretty you are.” The ex-angel blushes with his words. “And I really like seeing you blushing.”

Castiel rolls his eyes. “You are the worst.”

“Oh, you’ve got no idea.” He leans again and kisses him sweetly. “C’mon, Cas.” He pulls away and holds Cas’ hand, starting to walk together.

They are soon in the library, where Sam is with his laptop. When he sees them, he gives them a wide grin. “You guys have fun,” Sam says wiggling his eyebrows.

“We will.”

 

_____

 

They go to a 50’s cafeteria they have gone to with Sam a couple of times. The burgers are big and delicious, although Castiel always says that Dean’s are better. In Dean’s opinion, both of them are good, but he feels happy and proud when Cas praises his cooking skills.

They sit in front of each other and they order their dinner, some burgers with extra cheese and extra bacon for Cas and Dean orders the same but he adds extra onion. All of that accompanied with a bunch of fries and mozzarella sticks.

The moment they have ordered and the waitress is gone, Cas takes off his jacket, revealing the tanned skin of his arms and the strong muscles of them. He looks so damn good with that.

Cas catches Dean looking at him and the hunter grins widely. The ex-angel smiles shyly and blushes, which makes Dean smile wider. His boyfriend looks so damn cute when he is blushed and looking shyly. He loves seeing him like that, that’s why Dean starts to play footsie with Cas.

“Dean,” Cas says, his voice coming out a bit high pitched. His face is even redder than before, the blush reaching the tip of his ears. “You really enjoy making me flush.”

“Yeah,” he confesses grinning. “It suits you.” His words earn him a kick and it makes him laugh.

“I’m dating an assbutt.”

“Yeah, you are.” He laughs and Cas joins his laughter too. There’s a small silence before Dean talks, “Can you believe that it’s been about half a year since we got together?”

The ex-angel makes one of his most beautiful and honest smiles. It’s one of those that only Dean gets to see. “It’s incredible.”

“It is.” He smiles and sighs. “Did you— did you ever think that we were gonna last this long? And I’m not talking about when we got together, I mean when we didn’t even know that we had feelings for each other.”

Castiel sighs. “No, not really. I thought that something was always going to happen in between us. Call it Mark of Cain, apocalypse, knight of hell, the Darkness or whatever else could be.” He takes a deep breath and he looks at Dean’s eyes. “With us, it has always been like that. Wrong time, wrong place. I used to think that if we ever got together, we wouldn’t last, because something would happen and things would have gotten complicated, even if we loved each other. You would have pulled me away and told me that I was too good for you, that I would only get hurt if I stayed with you and things like that.”

“Well, I’ve told you a couple of times that you’re too good for me.”

The ex-angel smiles. “Yes, you have.” The waitress comes with their dinner and their drinks. When she walks away, Castiel keeps talking. “But things are quiet, and there’s nothing too big that can take us apart. I think that was the biggest problem back then; there was always something happening that was too big for us and we needed to finish it. We didn’t have the time or the luxury to start a relationship.”

Dean couldn’t agree more with Cas. “Yeah,” he simply says as he takes a bite of the delicious burger.

“But now that things are nice and quiet, I think that we will last for a really long time,” he says smiling and blushing.

The hunter gives him a curious look. “How long is that exactly, Cas?”

His blue eyes meet Dean’s green ones. They are glassy but there’s some bright happiness in them. Cas has been human for almost a year, but he hasn’t looked as human as he does now.

“I think that forever,” Cas whispers, his voice breaking slightly at the emotion he must feel at those words.

Dean’s heart skips a beat, but he smiles fondly, making his boyfriend relax. “Do you think you can put up with an asshole like me for that long?”

The ex-angel grins widely. It is a beautiful, happy grin. Happiness has always made him look gorgeous. “Of course I can.”

“Awesome.” His chest is blooming with happiness, spreading that wonderful warmth through his whole body. His next words come out with a shaky voice, because Dean has never been good with words, but he means every single one of them and he wants Cas to know. “Because there’s no way I’m letting you go of my life.”

He can see in Cas’ eyes how his words warm his heart.

 

_____

 

Once they are in the hall that leads to their bedroom, they start to kiss needy, passionately and eagerly. When they arrive to that room, after stumbling a couple of times with the walls, Dean starts to take off Castiel’s jacket before they even reach the bed.

Cas falls onto the mattress, fisting Dean’s red plaid shirt so he can fall with him. It kind of has always been like that, isn’t it? One falling and the other one falling as well. Dean is getting sappier the older he gets.

They take each other’s clothes off, wasting as little time as possible, being eager to feel the wonderful sensation of skin against skin, without having anything in between each other. Their hands praise the skin revealed with every piece of cloth that it is taken, touching restlessly, hands tracing down their bodies and their mouths kissing everywhere.

When they are completely naked, Dean begins to lick one of Cas’ nipples. The ex-angel makes that delicious moan that Dean loves too much, echoing in the bedroom. He keeps licking and nibbling, feeling how it hardens under his persistent tongue.

He pulls away and he steals a kiss from Cas’ parted lips before he leans downer, pressing his lips on the head of Cas’ cock. The ex-angel lets out a rasping gasp and he places his hands on Dean’s hair, encouraging him to suck him deeper. He will do it, but Dean likes to take his sweet time on this. He presses little kisses around the head and he swirls his tongue playfully. Cas lets out half moan, half frustrated groan, rocking his hips, but Dean keeps him in place.

“Dean—” Cas moans, almost sounding like he is begging.

Before he can say anything else, Dean sucks in deeper, swallowing his cock as deep as possible, pressing it against his throat, which makes him moan around it and makes Cas arch his back and groan pleased.

Dean tightens his lips around him, slipping his tongue along the shaft, earning him filthy moans from his boyfriend. He bobs his head a couple of times, swallowing him deeper, feeling how Cas’ cock twitches.

When he pulls his mouth away, Cas makes a whimper, but Dean starts to kiss the inner of his thigh, leaving a couple of hickeys there as he massages his balls. His whimper is soon replaced with happy little moans, which makes Dean smile against his boyfriend’s skin.

The hunter spreads Cas’ legs and he places them on his shoulders. He sees how Cas’ eyes open widely the moment he is completely exposed. He even blushes, biting his lower lip and looking at Dean with anticipation; he knows what Dean is up to, so the green eyed man smirks and he gets his tongue on Cas’ rim.

“Fuck, Dean—!” Castiel moans loudly.

Dean loves it when Cas is reduced to swearing. He keeps licking Cas, feeling how the ex-angel rocks his hips needy, being a mess of moans and wails. He gets his fingers on Dean’s hair, tightening his grip on him. The moment Dean gets his tongue inside Cas’ entrance, that grip tightens and the sounds he is making get louder.

“Dean! Dean! Dean! Dean!”

He gets his tongue deeper and Cas fucking squirms. He even pushes Dean to get deeper and Dean happily complies; he gets his tongue deeper, loosening Cas, whose eyes are closed, his lips are parted, letting out wonderful sounds and panting.

Two fingers join Dean’s tongue and Cas’ spine curves more than usually, lifting it from the mattress and pressing the back of his head on the pillow.

“Fuck me— Dean— fuck me,” Castiel hisses, moaning.

When Dean lifts his eyes to look at his boyfriend, he has a hand in the drawer and he grabs the lube and a condom. Dean pulls his tongue and fingers out of Castiel, who gasps. He is breathing raspingly and Dean can’t help smirking.

“You’re already wrecked,” Dean says as he puts on the condom. He begins to apply lube on his cock before he applies it on Cas’ entrance.

The ex-angel glares him. “Tell me if you weren’t like this the time I did the same thing with my tongue to you.”

Dean chuckles and he leans onto him to kiss Cas’ precious lips. It is soft and sweet, accompanied with the soft frottage of their hard cocks. “It’s good to know I have this effect on you.”

“Are you going to talk or are you going to fuck me?” he snaps with a sassy, beautiful smile that Dean has to kiss. As they do so, he places Cas’ legs around his waist, the ex-angel tightening them around him and pressing Dean closer.

When they stop kissing, they look at each other’s eyes, both of them smiling happily. Dean starts to push into the heat and tightness of Cas, feeling how the ex-angel adjusts around him. It doesn’t take him too long to be fully settled in and Cas immediately spreads his fingers on his freckled back, pressing their bodies impossibly closer.

“That’s good?” Dean asks almost breathlessly.

Castiel chuckles. “That’s really good.”

Dean starts to fuck him with sweet but quick thrusts. Cas is back to the state of being a mess of moans with Dean’s name on them. And Dean soon becomes the same mess, but saying Cas’ name.

They rock their hips with the same rhythm; Dean increases the speed and touches that wonderful spot that makes Cas almost jump out of their bed and he clenches around Dean so tight that it makes the hunter’s knees go weak.

“Fuck, Cas—!” Dean hisses, burying his face in the crook of Cas’ neck. He hears Cas’ laughing brightly and he clenches even tighter than before, a shiver running down Dean’s spine electrifyingly. “Fucking fuck, Cas,” he moans hissing. His hips rocks harder, eagerly and needy and the volume of his lover’s moans increases noticeably.

“Dean! Dean! Dean!”

It drives Dean crazy to hear Cas scream his name like that. He pulls away his face from his neck and he rests his forehead against Cas’. He looks at him, loving every face he makes. Dean cups his face and the ex-angel opens his beautiful eyes. They share a quick kiss, filled with passion and love. Cas’ hands come to rest on Dean’s, tangling their fingers together and he moves them, resting them on the pillow. It’s something so simple, but it feels wonderfully awesome.

They hold hands the whole time. Dean keeps thrusting in and out and Cas keeps clenching around him. Their speed increases and Cas comes the next time Dean touches that sweet spot, painting both of their bellies with his release. The hunter needs a couple of more thrusts to finally come, collapsing on top of Cas. The ex-angel squeezes his hands, making Dean smile.

No one of them moves while they recover their breaths. Their hands are still joined and their foreheads are still pressed together. Suddenly, Cas smiles and he starts to press little kisses on Dean’s lips. The green eyed man is soon smiling too, adoring the little giggles Castiel makes.

“You’re so cute when you giggle,” Dean says in between kisses.

“I’m always cute.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” He laughs and he kisses Cas properly, giving him a passionate kiss. “Fuck, Cas, I’m so fucking happy with us.” He presses a brief kiss on Cas’ lips. “You’ve got no idea how fucking happy I am.” He kisses him again.

Castiel giggles and he catches Dean’s lower lip, playing with it. “You are kind of showing me how happy you are, so I think I have a slight idea.”

Dean laughs and kisses him fondly. He is happy, really happy. He doesn’t remember being this happy before. A few years ago, if he had this, he would have thought that this happiness wouldn’t last, that it wasn’t real, but now he knows that it is real and it isn’t a passing thing.

 

_____

 

Dean wakes up to Cas slowly caressing his naked chest. When he opens his eyes, he sees Cas with his eyes closed, pressed against his side, resting his chin on his shoulder, moving his hand lazily.

“Good morning, Cas,” Dean says rubbing his eyes.

Cas opens his eyes and looks at him, smiling widely. “Good morning, Dean.”

“You woke up in a good mood, huh?” Most of the times, Cas wakes up grumpy, he can barely open his eyes. But this morning he seems to be in a really good mood.

Castiel hums in agreement and he gets on top of Dean, placing his hands on his shoulders and leaning to kiss him tenderly. “In a really good mood, in fact,” he says rubbing his hard cock against Dean.

The hunter arches an eyebrow suggestively. “Did you have happy dreams?” he asks teasingly. His hands come to rest on the back of his tattooed biceps, his fingers brushing the inked feathers.

“I might,” he simply says as one of his hands moves down. “I don’t know.” His hand reaches Dean’s dick and he starts to stroke it, making Dean hum pleased. This is a better way of waking up than coffee. “But whatever it was, I’m sure it didn’t feel as good as this.” He tightens his grip on Dean, sliding his hand downer.

Dean closes his eyes and bites his lower lip. “You should wake up in a good mood more often.”

Castiel chuckles and he kisses Dean, his happiness slipping into Dean. The blue eyed man keeps stroking Dean and soon, he is hard too, but Cas keeps stroking him a little bit more, squeezing the head of his cock, making him squirm and let out a wailing moan.

When he pulls away his hand, he kisses Dean slowly but sweetly, rubbing his body lazily as his hands trace down Dean’s sides, arriving to his thighs and caressing them gently. The hunter buries his fingers in the dark mess of Cas’ hair, pulling him closer, not wanting to stop these perfect kisses.

They keep kissing like that for minutes, rubbing their hard cocks slightly, but not going further than that. Kissing feels really good, like always.

Cas grabs a condom and the lube, pulling away from Dean’s lips. The hunter watches how his boyfriend puts on the condom and how he spreads the lube on his cock and then on his fingers. His gaze makes Castiel blush and smile timidly.

He is soon back leaning onto Dean and he gets one finger inside him. Dean gasps and fucks into it, making Cas smirk. The second finger comes in easily, loosening the tightness. His movements are slow, but it feels really good. Dean likes it when they go slow as much as he likes it when they go fast. It doesn’t matter how they do it, if they fuck or if they make love; it always feels awesome.

More fingers get inside him, brushing his prostate, leaving Dean moaning and panting. When he is loosened enough, Castiel pulls his fingers away, cleaning them with a wipe. The moments his hands are moving towards Dean’s shoulders, Dean grabs them. Cas looks at his with a confused frown, but it goes away when the hunter slides his hands on his palm, tangling their fingers together, holding their hands. It makes Castiel smile happily.

They kiss before Cas begins to push in. The moment he is settled inside him, he starts to move with slow and sweet thrusts. Dean moans Cas’ name, parting his lips with every delicious thrust the ex-angel makes, clenching around him really tight when he reaches that wonderful, sweet spot, making Cas moan really loud and squirm like Dean does.

Dean squeezes Cas’ hands and kisses him lovely. They look at each other’s eyes and they kiss again, never stopping the slow rocking of their hips. He presses Cas’ closer, until he can feel his beating heart on his chest; he doesn’t want to leave any inch of air in between them.

“Cas— Cas— Cas—” Dean moans really pleased. He closed his eyes and lets out a pleased hum.

Cas increases his speed, but his thrusts are still the kind of love making. “Dean—” He moans, echoing in his freckled body.

It is so intimate and it is too much, but they can take it, because it feels too damn right and awesome.

The ex-angel keeps moving in that delirious way, grinding into the heat and the tightness of Dean, moving in the way he knows it makes Dean squirm and moan his name loudly, and the hunter clenches around him in that way that takes Cas’ breath away.

They kiss as much as they can, looking at each other’s dark eyes, getting lost in them, never stopping the soft rhythm they have. Both of them are flushed, sweating, panting and moaning, and it is so fucking great.

Dean clenches again, really tight, and Castiel moans and gasps, burying his face in Dean’s jaw. His thrusts become faster and he hits that sweet spot over and over again, making the green eyed man moan louder with every thrust of his lover.

It becomes maddening, heat building in his chest and in his stomach. He fucks into Cas needy and Cas gets the message to go faster. His hips rock in a maddening and steady way. Both of them are moaning and grinding into each other.

They come at the same time, right after Cas touches Dean’s sweet spot and Dean clenches extremely tight around him. They become boneless and Cas collapses onto him, breathing into Dean’s skin, holding their hands.

“Like I said,” Dean begins to say, still breathless. “You should wake up in a good mood more often.”

Castiel grins and he kisses Dean softly and sweetly. When they are no longer kissing, he pulls away from him and Dean grunts at the loss of Cas in him, but the ex-angel kisses his grunt away. Cas rolls onto his back, resting on his side of the bed and he tosses the condom away while Dean cleans the mess of his come on his belly and then on Cas’.

“I’m hungry,” Cas mumbles.

“We’ll have breakfast in a while,” Dean says tossing away the wipe. He looks at the clock on his bedside table and sees that it isn’t nine o’clock yet.

Castiel turns his face to his side so he can look at Dean. “We don’t have to leave bed in the whole morning, you know?” He rolls onto his side and Dean gives him a sassy smile; he was wondering when Cas would suggest staying in bed the whole day. “We don’t have anything to do today, can’t we spend the whole morning in bed?” He starts to caress Dean’s chest; it is a tactic he uses to try to convince Dean.

Dean sighs. “I thought you said you wanted breakfast; for that we have to get up.”

“I didn’t say breakfast, I said I was hungry,” he rectifies with an obvious look. “I want cookies. With ice-cream or Nutella. I don’t know which one. What do you want?”

“I now want cookies too, but I don’t know. I like ice-cream and Nutella.” He makes a thoughtful grimace and sighs. “I like both, so you choose.”

“Then, I think that vanilla ice-cream. Nutella and cookies are too much chocolate, I think.”

“There’s no such a thing as too much chocolate, Cas.”

Castiel chuckles. “That’s true. But still, I think we’ll go with ice-cream.” He kisses Dean’s lips tenderly. “Bring some spoons.”

“Excuse you?” he asks arching his brows and giving Cas a challenging look that it makes the ex-angel frown confused. “You came with the idea, so you’re the one going to the kitchen.”

“I’m tired, I was the one on top and I was the one who moved more,” he says casually, but he is making a tiny smirk.

“Yeah, and I was the one with a dick is my ass.” Dean glares him and Castiel keeps a straight face. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

“Please.” Cas gives him his puppy eyes look and Dean can’t do anything against that look.

“Fine, I’ll go.” He sighs and starts to get up.

“Thank you,” he says with a wide smile.

“You’re the worst, Cas.” He looks at the floor, searching for his boxers. He knows that once he gets back into their bedroom he is going to take them off, but he doesn’t want to run into Sam and let his brother see him naked. “The things you make me do…” He chuckles and puts on his boxers.

“You are doing it because you want ice-cream and cookies too.”

“I’m doing it because I love you,” he snaps sweetly, smiling charmingly. The moment he realizes what he just said, he parts his lips and looks at Cas with wide eyes. He said it; he fucking finally said it. It slipped out of his mouth as if it was the simplest thing to say.

Cas props onto his elbows, sitting on the bed and looking at Dean, shocked. “Did you just—?” he tries to ask.

“Yeah, I— I did.” He blinks perplexed and sighs happily. “I love you, Cas,” he says with a big smile. He can’t believe he can finally say the L-word.

Castiel grins happily and he kneels on the mattress, cupping Dean’s face, pulling him towards the mattress, forcing him to kneel on it as well and meeting him in a lovely kiss that Dean melts on it. When they pull away, Cas hugs him tightly, burying his face in Dean’s neck. “I love you too, Dean,” Cas says really happy. “You finally said it.”

“Yeah.” He caresses Cas’ hair sweetly. “I thought you already knew I loved you,” he murmurs a bit confused.

Cas pulls away and he looks at Dean with a beautiful smile. “Of course I knew, Dean, but hearing it, it makes me really happy.” He cups Dean’s face, stroking his cheekbones. “But I knew, of course I knew.” He leans and kisses him again.

“Well, I should better bring those cookies and ice-cream,” he says pulling away, grinning as widely and happily as Cas. He finally said it, after a long time, Dean Winchester has finally told Cas that he loves him.

He is about to leave the bedroom, but Cas speaks, “Dean,” he says. He is still sitting on the bed, gloriously and beautifully naked, with a smile on his lips and his eyes full of love. Dean hums, waiting for him to go on. The ex-angel blushes. “Say it again, please.” His voice comes out shyly.

Dean chuckles and he walks the space in between them, kneeling on the bed and cupping his boyfriend’s face. “Are you gonna make me say it all the time?”

“Maybe.” His smile is cocky but beautiful.

The hunter kisses him sweetly. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Dean starts to walk towards the door. He stops the moment his hand is on the doorknob and he looks at Cas. He can’t help smiling. He looks at his feet and he grins.

“What?” Castiel asks confused.

“Nothing,” Dean says casually and shrugging.

“Liar.” It makes Dean chuckle. “What is it?” His voice sounds really sweet.

“I was thinking that I’m an idiot in love.”

“You’ve always been.” Both of them laugh. Dean wants to say so many things, but words have never been something he is good at. “I know,” Cas says after a while.

“You know what?”

“All those things you want to say but you can’t,” he answers with a soothing, pretty smile.

“Yeah, you always know.” He chuckles and rubs the back of his neck. “I’m so damn lucky that you know, because you—” He feels his eyes getting glassy and he doesn’t understand why. It might be because he loves Cas and Cas loves him and things couldn’t be better. He takes a deep breath and looks at Cas. “What did I do to deserve someone like you?”

“You sold your soul to a demon so you could bring your brother back to life and you went to hell.”

“Oh, that,” he says chuckling.

Castiel stands up and walks the distance that separates them, resting his hands on Dean’s hipbones, his thumbs brushing soothingly his skin. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I am.” He smiles, closing his eyes as he rests his forehead against Castiel’s. “You know I don’t deal feelings too good.”

“You deal them better than you think.” At his words, Dean opens his eyes and looks at those baby blue eyes. He can’t resist kissing Cas.

He has felt all of those things for a long time, but after telling Cas that he loves him, all those things have become even more real. He isn’t afraid of any of that, he hasn’t been afraid of feeling any of that for a long time, he is only touched by this, because during all his life, things as good as this thing he has with Cas, never lasted more than a month, but this time it’s different, because Dean isn’t scared.

“Y’know, you are out of bed now, you could be the one who goes to the kitchen,” Dean says with a smirk.

“Don’t make me kick your pretty ass, Dean,” Castiel snaps with a glare.

Dean bursts into laughter and Cas kisses him. “You’re a dick, Cas.”

“I learnt it from you.”

“That hurts, asshole.” Now Cas is the one who laughs. “Just get in the damn bed while I get our breakfast.” Castiel almost jumps onto the bed, making Dean arch his brow and give him a sassy look, at which the ex-angel responds with a cute face. “Fucking Cas,” he mutters to himself smiling. He is about to open the door but Cas throws the pillow at the back of his head. Dean turns and looks at him with a surprised face. “You didn’t.”

“I did,” he says laughing.

Dean ducks and throws him the pillow at his face, making Cas laugh. “You’re unbelievable.”

Cas keeps laughing and he looks extremely beautiful. Dean watches him, because it is a picture he loves to see. “I love you,” Cas says smiling, letting those cute crinkles on the corner of his eyes appear.

“I love you too,” Dean says grinning.

He walks away from the bedroom, walking to the kitchen to grab the ice-cream and the cookies he and Cas are going to have for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on writing a second part, but I don't know when that would be. I plan on autumn, but I can't assure you anything.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading, for sticking until the end. Thanks a lot to every reader, to every kudo, to every bookmark, to every comment and to every subscription. You are all great. Thanks a lot for reading and staying for the whole ride.


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